[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone, was wondering if anyone had some insight into an issue we are having with our toddler’s sleep.
She sleeps so well now that maybe it is too well. She goes to bed around 7 pm and typically wakes just before 8 am. If she doesn’t wake by herself we wake her up then because she has to be at playschool between 8.30 and 8.45. Occasionally she will wake and want water sometime in the evening and of course there are disruptions when she is ill, but often she sleeps right through the full 13 hours.
We think this is great of course, but playschool is now reporting problems with her midday nap. They are put to nap at around 12 after their lunch and they say she is not sleepy and we have to wake her earlier in the morning. Yesterday she did not nap at all (!) but I am a little confused about what they are saying because usually when I pick her up the whiteboard reports that she napped for at least an hour. I see a huge range of nap-times there, from 60 mins to 130 mins. It seems like maybe they are saying this because she just had one funny day!
On the weekends we are not really seeing the same problem, although we typically put her down around 12.30 rather than 12. She will then usually nap for at least an hour with little to no fuss. Sometimes she sleeps a little later on the weekends and then we push the nap back to compensate and we haven’t really had any issues with this approach.
I understand that there is a schedule there and I do think it is a problem if she is disturbing the other children (as they say) and ruining the staff’s break. I would also consider it definitely a problem if she was never napping because for sure she is too young to make it through the whole day without it affecting her mood. I also understand that she does sleep a lot at night, probably above average. But I also have heard that night sleep is generally more important than day sleep, and honestly this is the first we have heard of this problem - isn’t it a bit premature to start limiting her night sleep because she skipped a nap one day?
I know we need to talk to playschool in more detail about what’s going on, maybe she is always difficult to get to sleep (but they never said anything about it before!), but like how does this strike you? Have you ever had to limit night sleep to protect a nap? I’ve only heard of the other way round! [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think it seems like my daughter is sleeping too much?
I do not think that you should limit her night time sleep in order to get her to take a day time nap.
I agree that one off day isn’t enough to base a decision on either. I mean if it becomes a pattern where it happens everyday that’s a different story. As for now I say keep on with what you are doing.
She’s not sleeping too much. You’re right to not want to limit her nighttime sleep.
Sounds like the playschool needs to be a little more flexible with exactly what happens during naptime, or at least give her a few weeks to a month (or more) to adjust to the routine. Maybe she’ll just end up having quiet time and not actually be asleep. Either way, they shouldn’t be sweating it.
[name_m]Staff[/name_m]'s break shouldn’t be the top priority; they are employees and should not expect to have fully compliant 18-month-olds, right off the bat. Maybe if she did this every day for the next 6 months, then I could see them starting to say something about limiting her night time sleep–still wouldn’t be a good idea then, though.
I feel like night time sleep is something that should be protected at all costs.
I don’t know how long she’s been in her playschool - but if daytime nap has become a problem recently and nothing has changed at home, maybe it’s something in the environment that’s a problem for her. It would be good to talk to the teachers and see what the routine pre-nap time looks like, where does she sleep etc. Has there been a recent change?
I realize my daughter is considerably younger at 7 months but when we change her pre-nap routine it throws nap time off. This can be me trying to keep her awake to long, or not making it home from errands on time and that she dozed off in the car. Generally I think that figuring out what it happening right now and how it might be impacting her behavior is better than just trusting the teachers who have a ton of kids to look after.
Study’s suggest that kids your daughters age need 11-14 hours of sleep a day. So them suggesting to restrict night time sleep might make sense. However there are always kids who need more sleep or less. If your daughter has always been a baby that sleep more than the average child then she might really need that night time nap. (I also know someone who stopped napping at 12 months and grew up just fine… but this is incredibly rare. The point being every child is different and guidelines are there to help evaluate if there might be a problem - being outside of the norm doesn’t mean that there is a problem). Your her mother it’s up to you to figure out what’s best for her.
Oh my goodness, definitely don’t limit her night time sleep!
I have three kids and the middle one is about the same age as your daughter. He sleeps about the same amount of time as your daughter, probably a bit more. But these are kids, not machines. They’ll have days when they are more or less tired, go down more or less easily, etc. (Not to mention that these are little kids who are constantly changing and evolving). It sounds like the center is more concerned about their own convenience than what is in the best interest of the child. And recommending serious changes based on one day or even one week? That seems a bit ridiculous… It seems like they should be making adjustments around the kids (as much as is feasible, of course), and not demanding that the toddlers make adjustments for the center’s convenience. And one or a few days that are off? I really wouldn’t sweat it. Flexibility is a beautiful things and night time sleep is priceless for the entire family. If your kid is keeping others up, they can take her to another room or come up with some other solution. I really wouldn’t worry about it!
Also, as an aside, I think you mentioned in one of these forums that you are expecting again? If so, you must feel pretty exhausted. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t do anything that undermines your sleep! That’s my two cents worth…
I don’t want to be unfair to them, because I think they are actually fairly flexible, to the extent that they can be with 15 children. What happens at nap time is that the children go into dark rooms with about five kids in each room and lie down on little mattresses with their own duvets and pillows from home. Someone is with them encouraging them to be calm and quiet and settle down to sleep. They say that Freyja sometimes takes a long time to settle, and I think this has been going on for a week or so from what they said. But I still feel that this is likely to be a natural fluctuation that doesn’t really need a ‘fix’, especially since she usually does end up taking a reasonable length nap anyway. And she’s been such a happy, chatty girl since she started sleeping well at night (she used to be a pretty bad sleeper, until long after her first birthday) and I don’t want to mess it up!
She has been going there since she was 14 months old and she was not good with the napping arrangement at first as she was used to napping outside in her pram. She had the pram there for about a month while she was adjusting for if she could not fall asleep inside, but after that she has been fine. Activities vary day to day but everything has always been kept steady with their eating and sleeping routines, so I don’t think it’s any change on their end.
I’m sure there is an element of them being concerned about convenience, but I also admit that my own feelings are slightly selfish as I don’t want to get up earlier in the mornings myself! We’ll get up earlier when the light comes back, but I’m always tired in the dark months anyway and yes, I am pregnant, so that’s surely not helping. I do also think night sleep is so important for us all as a family, as many of you said.
