I think [name]Aster[/name] nn [name]Tess[/name] is perfect! [name]Tess[/name] is one of my all time favorite names, and I was really sad when I realized I couldn’t use it because our last name begins with “S”
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been ill, and I hope you get better soon.
I am SO sorry to hear how ill you’ve been - I really hope you have a speedy recovery now.
I really don’t know what to advise. I think I suggested [name]Astraea[/name], but [name]Aster[/name] is lovely. There’s a big part of me that wants to just say, if you both love it, go for it. As other posters have said, kids can pick on just about anything. But I also think [name]Jill[/name] made some good points, and it does set itself up for abuse.
I love [name]Asher[/name] as a boys’ name, but I am actually going to agree with the poster who suggested you use [name]Asher[/name]. Some people will criticise this, but I think it could be feminine because of the [name]Ashley[/name] connection, and that way you’ll get to use a name you and your husband both love whether or not there are more babies. You’ve had so much compromise already - this may be just the answer you are looking for.
Big hugs to you - let us know what you decide.
If you like [name]Asher[/name] what about [name]Ashby[/name]?
I’s so sorry, but [name]Aster[/name] not only has the potential for teasing at a young age, but many adults might make the connection mentally even though they of course would never say anything (for instance, I make the association instantly in my head, and it makes me not the like name so much)
Well, since I was one of the people who mentioned [name]Aster[/name], I’m probably a bit biased. But I do think it’s a beautiful name. I just asked my husband, what he thought of it, and he likes it too! (Usually, he doesn’t like more uncommon names, so that’s really saying something.)
As others have said, kids can find a way to tease any one with any name. I know a little girl by the name [name]Ellie[/name]. [name]How[/name] could anyone find a way to tease an [name]Ellie[/name] about her name, you might ask. Easy. One possibility, and not the only one … [name]Ellie[/name] Smelly. Now that could put a little girl into tears! But, at the same time, kids get past it. I was teased as a child about my name, but I don’t think I’m permanently scarred by the experience.
Also, I think it’s important for you to remember that no one will ever nickname an [name]Aster[/name] as A$$. That just won’t happen. A$$ would only be used in a mean way, and your daughter would know it was meant to be mean, and would take it in that light. I don’t think it would spoil her beautiful name for her. [name]Just[/name] as [name]Ellie[/name] Smelly shouldn’t spoil the name [name]Ellie[/name] for my friend’s daughter. Because ultimately, she’s not [name]Ellie[/name] Smelly; she’s [name]Ellie[/name].
The other thing is that [name]Aster[/name] is a legitimate name. Yes, it’s uncommon, but certainly not unheard of, so in that way it has the destinction of its own history AS a name. No one who hears the name [name]Aster[/name] and knows it as a legitimate name will wonder why you chose a name that sounds so close to A$$. They’ll just think of the full name [name]Aster[/name]. For me, I immediately think of the star meaning. It’s like the name [name]Stella[/name], for me, in its associations. But a bit more distinctive than [name]Stella[/name].
The only problem would be that if you did have a son, [name]Asher[/name] would be ruled out as a name for any future son. Those names are just too close. But that being said, you could probably come up with another name you love for any future son or daughter.
I am so sorry to hear about your surgery and health problems. This has certainly stressed out this period of your life for you, and made coming up with a name all that more tricky. You could certainly take a bit more time with this, if you needed to. Try living with [name]Aster[/name] [name]Miriam[/name] for another month or so, then make the final choice. I always liked [name]Blythe[/name], too, though I like [name]Aster[/name] just a tiny bit more. And that is because I like the sound of [name]Aster[/name] a little bit more than the sound of [name]Blythe[/name]. I just don’t think at all of A$$, I think [name]Aster[/name] and what a beautiful sound it has (in the whole shape of the word).
I haven’t read everyone else’s posts, so after I do, maybe I will come back and say a little more. But I’ll just end by saying that I hope you feel better soon. I hope you will be able to have all of the children you want, but if it turns out that your little daughter is the only child you have, it sounds like she will grow up with two devoted parents. It sounds like you have a great family!
P.S. We’re worried about teasing by kids, right?! Well, maybe older kids wouldn’t have a problem coming up with A$$ Turd, but I think that’s a bit too sophisticated for the average littler kid to come up with. A$$ Turd is funny on a TV show for adults because it’s not quite so obvious. We don’t automatically think of it, which is why it is funny. But who would write a TV show based on teasing a person with the name [name]Ellie[/name] as [name]Ellie[/name] Smelly? So boring. … So, in that sense, your daughter would probably be spared from A$$ teasing until she is a bit older (and more able to handle it).
P.P.S. After reading the other posts, it sounds like a lot of the worries about potential teasing come from a recent episode of “The Office”. Admittedly, I haven’t seen this episode (nor the TV series, for that matter). But if this is a recent episode, it’s important to keep in mind that it will quickly fade from people’s memories. In another year or 2 or 3, I doubt anyone will remember this episode unless s/he were a real fan of the show. Have you asked your mom or someone else of an older generation how she feels about the name [name]Aster[/name]? The one other very similar name to me is [name]Astrid[/name].
Good News re [name]Aster[/name]
This link is very interesting, especially on the subject of bullying in relation to ones name.
I would say after reading this that I would have no hesitation on naming your baby [name]Aster[/name].
Wow, [name]Rollo[/name] - great link. That just shows. I’m so glad we’re worrying unnecessarily about this lovely name! 
Great link!!! The testament of people who are actually named [name]Aster[/name] is priceless.
I’m checking out names on my list now.
ugh…how about hester/esther or astrid?
get better soon !
I had a few more thoughts…
Though I still love [name]Aster[/name] and would give a definite approval to that choice, your love of the name [name]Asher[/name] reminded me of the girls’ names:
[name]Acacia[/name], another Greek nature name
And of course, there is the name [name]Ash[/name] (the name of a type of tree)
[name]Ash[/name] [name]Miriam[/name] is nice.
Girls names that start with the sound [name]Ash[/name] include:
[name]Aisling[/name] (pronounced [name]Ash[/name]-ling), Celtic, meaning ‘dream’ or ‘vision’ (popular name in [name]Ireland[/name])
[name]Ashton[/name]/[name]Ashtyn[/name] (meaning ash tree place)
[name]Ashira[/name] (Hebrew, ‘I will sing’)
[name]Ashby[/name] (ash tree farm)
Another gorgeous flower/nature name is [name]Orchid[/name]
[name]Orchid[/name] [name]Miriam[/name] is lovely
[name]Feel[/name] better soon!
I want to comment at length about your naming difficulties, because my youngest daughter was nameless until she was almost five months old. (She’s seven months now.) But, I only have time for a quick post right now…and wanted to suggest [name]Azalea[/name] as an alternative. Similar sound as [name]Aster[/name], although maybe a little frillier.
Although I’m a HUGE fan of [name]Aster[/name]. I absolutely adore it. If I were you, and I loved a name as much as it sounds like you’re loving [name]Aster[/name], I would go for it and not worry about the teasing. Kids have much more creative and varied names these days…and I kind of think that will mean less teasing on the schoolyard. Kids with the “weird” names won’t really stand out like they did when we were kids.
I was also in a similar situation with my second daughter. My husband and I fell in love with the name [name]Mercy[/name]. I hesitated to use it because of some of the potential teasing. But, we were so head over heels in love with it, we just couldn’t let it go. She’s now two years old, and we adore her name still. Absolutely no regrets…even though some people don’t “get” her name and others have mentioned the teasing that’s bound to be ahead of her. Maybe we’re naive, but my husband and I just don’t see it or worry about it.
OK…so that post ended up being not quite so quick! 
Thanks for your thoughts- while I agree that [name]Asher[/name] could theoretically be a girl name, I think because I’ve held onto it for three pregnancies as my BOY name (my DS- named [name]Gabriel[/name] [name]James[/name] because nine years ago I was worried that [name]Asher[/name] was too “out there”, one loss, and this baby girl), it is really really hard to see it as a girl name. In a sense, to me, not only is it a boy’s name- it is MY boys’ name. So, I can’t imagine it on my girl, if that makes sense. I wish I could, because that would be the perfect solution!
Hm. [name]Ashby[/name] is cute. I like it. I’m not sure I like it enough to give up the possibility of [name]Asher[/name] someday, though. I [name]DO[/name] like [name]Aster[/name] enough to give up [name]Asher[/name], though…
Thank you so much for the reassurihg words- I’ve wondered, too, if “ass” was too sophisticated of a tease for children- in fact, I didn’t know what to say to my DS when I he didn’t understand why I was worried kids would tease her because of [name]Aster[/name]… and he’s well into grade school.
Its funny what you and others have said about the unpredictable nature of teasing- I was worried when I named DS [name]Gabriel[/name] that he would be teased with "gay"and whatnot. To this day, he says the only teasing he gets is “[name]Babe[/name]” Which he hates, but one I never thought of!
I haven’t seen that epidsode of The Office, either, and it is rather unfortunate timing, honestly, because that has been the first thing anyone has mentioned when I’ve brought up [name]Aster[/name].
Does anyone know the TV show [name]Dexter[/name]? I don’t, but apparently there is a girl on there called [name]Aster[/name]…
We both can call her [name]Aster[/name] easily. I love the sound of the word and it conjures up pictures of [name]Aster[/name] flowers in my head. With [name]Tess[/name] as a nn, we’re won over, but still super worried. I mean, I don’t want to have put all this time into her name and then have her want to hide behind a nn her whole life… the logical side of me says pick [name]Blythe[/name]- a gorgeous choice that fits her without the obvious potential for teasing, but the emotive side says pick [name]Aster[/name]… hm.
While I like [name]Asha[/name] (and some of the other [name]Ash[/name] names suggested) none of them spark in my heart the way [name]Aster[/name] does- which makes me think I shoudn’t give up the potential to name a future son [name]Asher[/name] for my daughter when she could just as easily be [name]Blythe[/name].
I love that site! We’ve been using it since the beginning… it did make me feel a bit better about [name]Aster[/name], although, no one named [name]Aster[/name] wrote any narritive (my favorite part of those surveys!) reading the descriptions of people named [name]Astrid[/name] made be a bit more nervous, although Astrids still overwhelmingly like their name, so that’s good.
I think if the name [name]Aster[/name] makes you feel like that you should definitely use it:) That’s the way you should feel about your daughter’s name. As for the possible teasing, I think your son’s reaction is a good example of how she might not even get it, and if she does it could be ‘character building’ and I don’t think it would happen once she was older. Overall I say go for it! By the way, how does she react to being called [name]Aster[/name]? Is that what you are calling her at the moment?
Since you have a suitable nickname then why not go for it, she can always go by that if the teasing does become an issue.
I can’t thank you enough for sharing your naming difficulties with me. Your words, and just the knowledge that someone else has been there before has honestly comforted me a lot.
If you have time, I would love to hear more about your naming journey and how you feel now that your daughter has a name- how was it that you and your husband decided she was finally named? [name]Do[/name] you have any suggestions for me? Looking back, now that your daughter is named, is there some way you think you could have gone about it differently? (not knowing your situation, these questions might not apply, but basically, I’m just looking for advice from someone who’s been there. My family and close friends understand how difficult my illness has been and are more than compassionate and understanding of her not having a name, but it is hard on me and hard to face the outside world sometimes)
I think [name]Aster[/name] is positively beautiful, simple, and sweet, and unique without being kooky/what were they thinking.
I have read all the comments about fears of teasing - having an “easy target” kind of name doesn’t mean she’ll be teased incessantly, and having a tease-proofed name can in no way prevent being teased. It is all how she learns to handle people - and being teased about something, anything, well, I think it’s actually something kids need to build up their ability to react and deal with difficult people (or fail to pick up these necessary life skills). That’s probably not what you wanted to hear.
I do not envy parents the task of choosing a name, as the name can be the source of their misery if you pick the wrong one, something you’re trying to prevent several years out. The name has to serve them their whole life and it may seem like a lot depends on choosing it. I think most people do relatively well maybe despite their names, it’s just how they identify themselves and how others identify them.
[name]Aster[/name] is just NOT one of those wild, crazy, ignorant-parent kind of names that might actually defeat a kid throughout their life, or assign them the difficult task of overcoming it. There are some names that may be too big or small for a child or an adult, and really think is this a set-up.
[name]Aster[/name] is beautiful. It’s charming. I wouldn’t have a problem using this name. Hesitation, yes, maybe, what responsible parent would not give it a little bit of thought, but I think some worry is ok. Being able to make play out of words (I do it a lot, with names, with everything) is a blessing and a curse. Causes you to overthink. I just sternly warned in another thread against a name unheard of in the US that sounds like ‘Tie Me.’ The whole thing can be fairly arbitrary, but it’s life.
This is another thread about the name proposed, [name]Anais[/name], in which some discussion over teasing occurs. If you haven’t read it, it may help:
I also thought of the name [name]Abra[/name] (prn ay-bra). I knew someone with this name, she had applied for internship where I work at the pre-doctorate level. [name]Abra[/name] is a feminine form of [name]Abraham[/name]. I know, I know, it spells ‘A bra’. It’s also like [name]Abra[/name] Cadabra. I just thought it was nice, I never knew anyone with that name. I think she has probably heard them all (I just assume), and it didn’t obviously affect her ability to keep her head on what’s important, and really succeed in her aspirations. One could apply the same to [name]Aster[/name] or [name]Anais[/name] or even Taimi. [name]Abra[/name] was just another name that sounded pretty and able and serious, yet lively, happy.
Name her [name]Aster[/name]!!! It’s obvious you both adore the name… [name]Don[/name]'t let yourself have baby name remorse years down the track like you now do with your DS!
Sure, there might be potential for teasing, but to me, it seems such a silly worry. There are SO many other variables that may or may not lead to teasing that it seems such an insignificant reason to rule out your favourite, perfect name!!
Good luck, whatever you choose, but I think you should go for it. [name]Aster[/name] is lovely.