I chose our daughter’s (first born) name [name]Abigail[/name], he chose the middle name [name]Jean[/name]. So I told my husband that when we have #2 he has first pick for first name and I’ll have middle. So we’re having a boy and he’s to be here via c-section [name]June[/name] 5th. My husband chose the name [name]James[/name], after I shot down the jr, and I chose [name]Elliot[/name]. [name]James[/name] is my husband’s middle name and his dad’s first name. I am totally against a [name]Jim[/name] or [name]Jimmy[/name] and I absolutely dread having to correct people that his name is [name]James[/name].
I’ve been trying for MONTHS to get [name]James[/name] to click with me. I have his ultrasound pictures saved under a “[name]James[/name]” folder on our computer and I try to refer to him as such trying to get myself accustomed to his name. For some reason…I just can’t. It isn’t clicking. He’s not a [name]James[/name] to me. I’ve tried a couple times to talk to my husband about the name. He claims I don’t like it because I didn’t pick it. Not true! With [name]Abby[/name] we had a backup name, ya know, in case she didn’t look like an [name]Abigail[/name]. I told him when we came up with [name]James[/name] that we need a backup and I got my head bit off. So… here we are. 5 weeks to go and I’m still trying to have this conversation with him.
Am I stuck with [name]James[/name]? [name]Will[/name] I get used to it? Is there another tactic I could come at him with? I told him he still gets first name dibs but he’s stuck on [name]James[/name]… I joke with him that I am the one who signs the birth certificate. [name]James[/name] isn’t terrible… but I feel that it’s just not him. I’ve known he was a he way before the ultrasound told us so. I feel I know my beastly boy and to me it just doesn’t fit.
He’s mentioned [name]Colt[/name] and [name]Ford[/name] before (huge ford guy. we aren’t allowed to own anything else. has the [name]Ford[/name] tattoo…) I told him that [name]Colt[/name] isn’t bad, I like [name]Colton[/name] better. And [name]Ford[/name] isn’t terrible- as a middle name. At first he was pushing for his grandfather and second-father figure/mentor’s (both passed) middle name, [name]Leroy[/name]. I didn’t argue. I told him as long as the [name]Roy[/name] is invisible and nobody ever hears it, I love [name]Lee[/name] and he was fine with that. He then tried [name]Russel[/name] (mentor’s first name) I said uhhh as a middle. So all considering, [name]James[/name] isn’t bad…really. I just don’t know. [name]Abby[/name] I knew she was an [name]Abby[/name]. And she’s totally an [name]Abby[/name]. [name]James[/name] and [name]Abby[/name] go so well together and my father-in-law is already beaming that he has a name-sake grandson. This is the first grandson on both of our sides and likely the last grandkid for both sides. Is it ok to settle for [name]James[/name] or should I continue to fight for him? bah.
thanks!
~the frustrated mommy, [name]Samantha[/name]
I was leaning toward trying to talk him out of it until I read the last few sentences. [name]James[/name], it seems to be. Maybe it will fit when you see him. [name]James[/name] and [name]Abigail[/name] are very good together. No one will call him [name]Jim[/name] or [name]Jimmy[/name] unless you do. [name]Jameson[/name] would be a very nice compromise, sounds even better with [name]Abigail[/name], differentiates him from the other family Jameses and means “son of [name]James[/name].” Good luck. PS- Have you tried [name]Elliot[/name] [name]James[/name] on dh? Have you thought about nn Jes?
Well, I would first allay your fears that he’ll get called [name]Jim[/name] or [name]Jimmy[/name]. I know several people named [name]James[/name], younger and older, and except for my 65 year-old uncle, they all go by [name]James[/name]. [name]Jimmy[/name] is a fairly outdated nickname where I’m from; it falls in with [name]Bobby[/name], [name]Dick[/name], [name]Phil[/name], etc. I think that if you introduce him as [name]James[/name], he will be [name]James[/name]. Unless the nickname is a totally easy contraction of a name ([name]Luce[/name] for [name]Lucy[/name], [name]Pat[/name] for [name]Patrick[/name]), I don’t think getting one is so automatic these days…
[name]How[/name] did Husband feel about [name]Abigail[/name]'s name? Did he feel he was settling, or did it grow on him, or did he embrace it from the start? That might help broach these discussions… I imagine that the this-is-the-last-baby thing puts a great deal of importance on getting this name right, feeling it, loving it. On one hand, you guys did come up with this naming system and in fairness it would be best to stick with it to some degree. And if you’ve already announced it to the baby’s namesake, it seems a little rough to be like, “Sorry, we’re not naming the baby after you anymore.” [name]Abigail[/name] [name]Jean[/name] and [name]James[/name] [name]Elliot[/name] are a knock-out pair… On the other hand, it takes two to make and raise a child, and everyone has to live with and use this child’s name. You should like your baby’s name!
If you both like [name]Lee[/name], maybe you can press for [name]Lee[/name] in honor of [name]Leroy[/name]. Maybe that could be the “back-up name”. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to have one–[name]Abby[/name] had one, so your son gets one. It’s a logical move. Maybe your husband would be more accepting if you push for a name he has already suggested. Instead of hating on [name]James[/name], maybe loving up on [name]Lee[/name] out loud would work better.You might be able to convince him of three names: [name]Lee[/name] [name]Elliot[/name] [name]James[/name] is nice, and he gets to honor two of his people! Alternatively, you could test out some nicknames for him: [name]Jay[/name] (like the bird), J.E., [name]Eli[/name], [name]Elliot[/name] in full, or something to do with his characteristics after he is born ([name]Blue[/name] for his eyes or something). I even think that [name]Lee[/name] would work just fine since it’s in the sound of [name]Elliot[/name].
I’m sorry that this is so tricky! I hope that the discussions ease up.
Why not call him [name]Jack[/name]? The French name [name]Jacques[/name] is their version of [name]James[/name]…Or [name]Jamie[/name]? [name]Both[/name] are great alternatives to [name]Jim[/name]. And I’d think you’d want to differentiate from the father-in-law anyway. All the middle name options are good, as well.
Oh I am torn because I think the mommy should choose but it’s hard to think of a better name than [name]James[/name]…I can’t imagine not loving that name. Sorry!
I think the fact that you’ve already told people, and that your father-in-law already knows…it would be rather hurtful to change it now.
I feel so bad for you- what a predicament! Personally, I like [name]James[/name], but if you really ARE NOT feeling it as you seem to be, suggest to your husband to use [name]James[/name] as the middle name, and then have him pick a few more names he likes that you can discuss. [name]Hope[/name] this helps!
I agree with ellenelle, put yourself in his shoes. Did hubby have to settle with [name]Abigail[/name]? Did he fight you the way you are fight him?
I’ve known one [name]Jimmy[/name], zero [name]Jim[/name]'s, and countless [name]James[/name]. What about [name]Jamey[/name]/[name]Jamie[/name] or [name]Jay[/name]?
What about international variations? [name]Shea[/name] is one of my favorite names. [name]James[/name] is my compromise because [name]Seamus[/name] is the Irish equivalent of [name]James[/name]. So if I can’t have [name]Shea[/name] then I’ll settle for [name]James[/name] with the nn [name]Shea[/name]
My opinion is that you should stick with [name]James[/name]. Especially knowing your FIL’s reaction to it. I like the suggestion of finding other nns (although I love [name]Jim[/name] and [name]Jimmy[/name]. I think they are adorable!) [name]Jay[/name] is a great nn, and a nature name to boot. [name]Jamie[/name] is a possibility for a boy, and I like the idea of [name]Jameson[/name]. [name]Jameson[/name] nns could be [name]Jay[/name], [name]Mason[/name], [name]Sonny[/name], etc. I really like just [name]James[/name] better, but that might give you a bit more to work with.
I think you’re stuck with [name]James[/name]. You had an agreement on the naming system. It’s hubby’s choice , I’m afraid. Besides, you might break grandpa’s heart. And there are much worse names than [name]James[/name]. However, I do agree it would be fair to have a backup name.
Congrats good luck!
I totally agree with all of you. It would break my father-in-law’s heart. And I know not to ask for [name]Elliot[/name] [name]James[/name] …as that would be my pick. My in law goes by [name]Jim[/name] and some call him [name]Jimmy[/name]- which he hates. It’s more the elders in my family that seem to auto-nn the kiddos in my family and it’s hard for me to correct people in general on things. I do love the name [name]James[/name], I do. It’s a very nice, respectable name to grow up with. I think of [name]James[/name] I think of a nice fella. All the Jims and Jimmys I had in school with me were major jerks. [name]James[/name], I have good record with.
And [name]Lee[/name] would be my second choice. It wouldn’t be unheard of for him to have 2 middles though (2 of my 3 nieces have 2 middles) I think it’s funny and ironic that the nn Jes was mentioned. Not only does our last name begin with S but it is also my in-laws initials ([name]Eugene[/name]) I’ve thought about Jes. My husband’s name is [name]Joshua[/name] and for a few hours his name was going to be [name]Jesse[/name]. So as a nn I’ve put a lot of thought into Jes/[name]Jesse[/name]. I think I would be allowed to. [name]Josh[/name] is a funny guy. Most things he really couldn’t care too much about and leaves it all up to me. But this is just one of those few touchy subjects with him. And rightfully so. I’m perfectly ok with our agreement that he gets to name the little man and it isn’t fair of me 5 weeks before he’s here to change my mind. It’s been a battle trying to like the name for the beast in my belly. I would just rather have this discussion now than live my whole life calling my son [name]James[/name] and it still rubbing me wrong way. (I know, I know. I’d get used to it.)
And as for [name]Abby[/name], we got lucky and he loved the name. He really didn’t have any other names for her. [name]Jolene[/name], which is pretty but. too county for this Ohio city gal. Otherwise he was really content with [name]Abigail[/name] and never mentioned anything different. He helped come up with the backup name with the middle staying [name]Jean[/name]. So she was named together. It was so easy with her.
Talking it over with my mom I asked her if she had ever met anyone and heard their name and thought ‘they don’t look like a __’ that’s what I feel it will be with him. I love the name. But I think you’re all right. That I’m stuck with the name.
Thanks for all your input, it really does help! =)
I really like the name [name]James[/name] and @notcinammon had a great suggestion of [name]Jameson[/name]!
I think [name]Jameson[/name] [name]Lee[/name] sounds great! Plus with a name like [name]Jameson[/name] it might get shortened but probably only to [name]James[/name] or [name]Jame[/name]!
and @thuja… i think [name]Jacques[/name] is the french version of [name]John[/name] nn [name]Jack[/name] not [name]James[/name]!
I wouldn’t worry too much about the nickname thing…I know two young boys named [name]James[/name] (age 10 and 5), and they have never gone by anything other than [name]James[/name].
I think there would be too many hurt feelings involved if you dropped the name completely, but maybe you can move it into the middle spot. Or perhaps name him [name]James[/name] [name]Elliot[/name] (or whatever) and call him [name]Elliot[/name]. I really think you need to find a way to call him what feels right. No sense in living your whole life with name regret because you were scared to step on a few toes. I think you need to find a solution that makes both you and your husband happy. Shut all the outside influences out of your mind and have a heart to heart with him. You deserve to love your child’s name – after all, you are the one who is going to use it the most! All that said, you may come to realize that [name]James[/name] is the perfect name for him =)
First up it is not right that you just have to settle with [name]James[/name]. You need to have the name for your baby imprinted on your heart, it needs to say Yes to you straight away.
Please explain to your husband that you just don’t feel [name]James[/name] in the first name spot. I think it would be fine for you in the middle name spot though and this would be a compromise on your part to your husband. There is no loyalty to other people in the family or beyond just because you said you were naming the baby and then settled on something else. [name]Don[/name]'t be pushed into a name that doesn’t fit for you and hopefully your husband will be loving enough to understand how you feel. Keep the communication lines open with him and don’t settle for second best.
If you like [name]Colton[/name] and you like [name]Lee[/name] maybe you will like [name]Leighton[/name] too (prnd as [name]Lay[/name] ton) and I can see the combo of [name]Leighton[/name] [name]James[/name] working very well.
Of course there is nothing wrong with [name]Colton[/name] [name]James[/name] either so if you love this one go with it.
Maybe you would like to pair the Biblical [name]Abigail[/name] with another lovely Biblical classic and I am talking about [name]Samuel[/name], combo of [name]Samuel[/name] [name]James[/name]. Siblings of [name]Samuel[/name] and [name]Abigail[/name] seem to be perfect.
Also on the Biblical theme there is the ever popular [name]Noah[/name] and I like [name]Noah[/name] [name]Jamison[/name] as well as [name]Noah[/name] [name]James[/name] and [name]Noah[/name] [name]Lucas[/name] if you want another middle name.
You don’t say what Abigails middle name is so I can’t give you any suitable middles instead of [name]James[/name].
Please keep posting I am keen to follow your naming journey.
rollo
and @thuja… i think [name]Jacques[/name] is the french version of [name]John[/name] nn [name]Jack[/name] not [name]James[/name]![/QUOTE]
[name]Just[/name] checking back with this…[name]Jean[/name] is French for [name]John[/name], [name]Jacques[/name] is French for [name]James[/name]…look it up.
If you introduce him as [name]James[/name] that is what people will call him. Nicknames aren’t necessary. [name]Jaime[/name] is a nice alternative nn if you want a nn.
I pitched it to him last night (he was in a good mood) about maybe doing [name]James[/name] [name]Elliot[/name] [name]Lee[/name] and calling him [name]Lee[/name]. He didn’t shoot it down and said he would sleep on it! …I consider that a win just in that he’s thinking about it. I explained to him that [name]Lee[/name] is my #2 and if he had any other names he had thought of or anything to pitch them. But he had none, which I expected.
My name is [name]Samantha[/name], so [name]Samuel[/name] would be kind of amusing =) The male version of my name plus my husbands middle. Could work if we were into the naming after both of us thing.
But I really pressed to him I love the name [name]James[/name] and that we don’t have to change that as a first…if we can call him something else. When I asked about the nn Jes/[name]Jesse[/name] he agreed it’s girly.
The reason we named [name]Abigail[/name] [name]Abigail[/name] and not [name]Abby[/name] was so she would have a choice what to be called. As goes with her middle name, [name]Jean[/name]. I think AJ is cute but it’s only been used a handful of times way back when she was itty bitty. We liked just [name]Abby[/name] but we chose the full. So that’s how I feel if we give him a choice. If I call him [name]Lee[/name]…and others call him [name]James[/name], as I’m sure my in-laws will, will he be confused? Such a mess. I put too much thought into things, which is why I’m coming to you guys =) you bring great valid points to my scatter-brained attention span. I do like the idea of having 2 middles. I tried it [name]Lee[/name] [name]Elliot[/name] and that just all runs together into a mess so that’s why I pitched [name]Elliot[/name] [name]Lee[/name] to him.
Oh, right. As for the variations of [name]James[/name], which I do love some of them, to him being named after someone is having the same name… not just the variation meaning that name. So sadly, that’s out. As he views [name]Jesse[/name], [name]Jamie[/name] is also girly to him. He doesn’t make things easy =P
So I’m keeping my fingers crossed for calling him [name]Lee[/name] but keeping [name]James[/name] as the first. Everybody wins, right?
I think it is unfair to force him to back down. Yes it is your body but it is his child too.
But,before you see red reading that,I do kind of feel your pain. Or rather I anticipate feeling it sometime fairly soon,my OH and I have drastically different naming styles. There will be comprimise…painful comprimise.
[name]Remember[/name] re [name]James[/name]…it’s a great classic name. And you could nickname him whatever you wanted,it doesn’t have to relate to any of his given names.
I hope however your situation is solved,you and your husband are both happy with your lovely son 
Ooops just noticed your above post stating you seem to have reached a happy middle! Makes my post a bit invalid! Lol
I hope that you do are happy in the end with your son’s name. I would be very outspoken if I wasn’t 100% happy as it is a joint decision.
not to be disrespectful - but who cares what you’ve told people, or what your father in law already knows. its YOUR [name]BABY[/name]. Name him what YOU WANT.
With that being said, I think [name]James[/name] is a fine choice. I also wouldnt worry about him being called [name]Jim[/name], or [name]Jimmy[/name]- as those do seem pretty dated, and like a previous poster mentioned, if you introduce him as “[name]James[/name]” he will be called [name]James[/name]. At least I would think!
Now with THAT being said, if the name doesnt seem “right” to you, then its not the right name. your husband should be able to compromise. I love the suggestion of using [name]Jack[/name]!