So one of my coworkers has a son with autism, and it got me to thinking if I would name a special needs child the same types of names as my other kids. Obviously, autism isnt something you can know that your child has when he/she is born, but I am thinking down’s syndrome and similar. Please know that I am attempting to broach this subject with tact, I was just thinking about it recently. I am not sure I would want to saddle a kid with the type of long, elaborate names that I generally like if I knew in advance that my child would have more difficulties in life already. I’d probably want to give them a name that is very pronounceable and strong.
My brother has Down Syndrome (diagnosed at birth, but genetic testing results took 6 weeks) and my parents gave him the name they planned on using the entire time. Having a brother with special needs I have been many special needs children and adults, they all have names as individual as varying as they themselves are and I think their names suit them.
My cousin was born at 27 weeks, 24 years ago, he has Cerebral Palsy as a result of decreased oxygen to his brain. Upon discovering that their child would live life with hardship my aunty and uncle decided that the name they had chosen, [name]Brody[/name], was too soft for a child with special needs, they wanted a stronger name so they chose [name]Vaughn[/name].
Personally, I would go ahead with the named I loved and planned for. I think that even if a child is born with special needs they are still the same baby that was in the womb all along, they shouldn’t get a new name because of their disability. I’d rather them know that their name was chosen because I loved it, rather than because I found out they had a disability and needed a name that fit. My cousin has never let his disability define him and I wouldn’t want it to define my child either. But, hey, that’s just my opinion. It’s a touchy subject and a decision I couldn’t make until I actually met my baby.
I think I get where you’re coming from. A long frilly name for a child who may have intellectual or speech troubles may be harder for the child. I suspect a nickname would soon develop in this case.
But I guess choose what makes you proud and they will make it their own.
I think I get where you’re coming from. A long frilly name for a child who may have intellectual or speech troubles may be harder for the child. I suspect a nickname would soon develop in this case.
But I guess choose what makes you proud and they will make it their own.
I would use the same name I had planned on using. Otherwise, for me, it would be like saying my child wasn’t worthy of having my perfect name because they are “different,” and that would break my heart!
I would never judge someone who chose to pick a different name, though. Everyone has to deal with that sort of situation in their own way, and I totally respect that. For what it’s worth, I work with young children with disabilities for a living, so I have a different perspective. [name]Even[/name] kids with very severe delays/disabilities are usually able to learn, grow, and develop! So having a daughter with Down Syndrome who had a tough time saying [name]Rosemary[/name], (which she probably would,) would not bother me in the least. Because I know it’s something we could work on and improve over time.
Tintri should know this, but I thought there were specific sounds that DS children had a great deal of difficulty saying due to larger, more protruding tongues and smaller mandibles. Ps, maybe? Anyway, I absolutely would not choose a long name with a difficult spelling or one with sounds hat will be especially difficult for the child to make. [name]One[/name]'s name is one of the most common and earliest words one says, and I think it would be incredibly frustrating for the child not to be able to clearly pronounce it, to always have listeners say “what?,” etc. It might be even more stigmatizing and make the child feel worse about himself. Also, SN kids usually have SN friends and peers, and you want those children to be able to say their name, too.
Having a child with SN would be a long series of adjustments and I see no reason why a name would be excepted.
I just wanted to say that this is a really interesting question that never even would have occurred to me. Thank you for asking it and making me think Moonkai!
I would consider pronunciation issues even more than I do already. I would opt for something short, easy to say, recognizable. If I had a love for longer, frillier names (which I do not) I would consider something like [name]Catherine[/name] which is so familiar or [name]Elizabeth[/name]. Plus they can nn to something short & cute like [name]Kit[/name] or [name]Lizzie[/name].
I second this, such an intense topic but now I’m really glad that I’ve thought through the scenario. As I watch more and more people’s naming journey’s I am starting to think that having one set name combo ready and waiting for my son when he was born was a total fluke. So that being said, with any other pregnancies I expect to go to the hospital with a few/at least 2 names ready and in this case I think I would still use one of the favorites I was planning on… But having a SN child would probably sway the decision in favor of the name that was not necessarily shorter, but perhaps easier to say and definitely the one that offered itself to more nicknames. I love nicknames…
I grew up near a child with quite a severe case of Down Syndrome. He really couldn’t speak much. I can only guess what it stood for, but he always went by A.J… It suited him perfectly and it really meant a lot that he could say his name. In his case, that was worth way more than flow, meaning, sib-sets, popularity, or anything else. I would choose a name that was simple, straight forward, easy to say/pronounce/spell, but wouldn’t keep him/her from reaching his potential.
It’s not something I’ve ever considered but I’d probably stick with my name choices because they’re pretty simple to say and spell anyway for the most part. If I had a liking for frillier, longer names I’d make sure there was a good nickname that I’d be happy to use and that would be easier for my child and their friends. I had a speech impediment as a child though and I know there were sounds I struggled to say for several years - I don’t remember what they were but I’m sure my mum would remember, so if I knew my child would likely have speech/learning problems at birth I’d probably look at names with easier sounds in them. A lot of things take a while to diagnose though, like autism, so a child would have already been named by that point.
Going along with what the others said about making sure the name (or nickname) is easily pronounceable, I might also want to adjust my name choice to something that has has a special meaning of sentiment given the situation.
This is something I have thought about, and I find myself agreeing with the original poster. I think I would feel inclined to give a strong, easily pronounced, popular name. [name]Even[/name] though we as name nerds love all kinds of names, including uncommon, unique, and intricate names, I think it’s harder for real people to pull off/wear some of the names we like as name nerds. I would not want to put that pressure on a child when they will already have pressures of their own. Also, in a time when we value standing out and standing apart from everyone else, I can’t help but think that giving a name to a child with special needs will make him or her stand out more than he or she already would, and maybe not in a positive way to their peers. I think it’s important for all children to feel they are a part of a community, and I especially think it’s important for children with special needs, so I would want to give him or her a name that is well-recieved at large in the community to promote further acceptance.
Since I read this post I had been wondering, so tonight I actually asked my Mum if they had known before my brother was born that he has Down Syndrome, would that have swayed their naming choices. She said that the child she was carrying was the same child she chose the name for, so the “that’s the name moment” is telling you that’s the right name for that baby so that wouldn’t change.
I just thought her perspective as a parent of a child with special needs would be interesting to contribute
I probably wouldn’t change what I’d name a special-needs child, other than if I was deciding between a shorter/simpler or a longer/more complicated name (or something like that) the known disability might tip me towards the former for the sake of making things a bit easier for the child. If I liked a longer name and wanted to use it over any other names I’d still go for that name.
This is a fantastic thread. A sensitive subject approached gracefully, with everyone weighing in tactfully, respectfully, and thoughtfully. I love this.
I have three SN cousins (two adopted, one biological). Their names are very close to [name]Jason[/name], [name]Tracy[/name] and [name]Chris[/name]. [name]Tracy[/name] has trouble saying her name, which (since she was adopted) could have been planned for, now that I’m thinking about it. I can’t realistically imagine what I would do in this situation. I tend to look for fuller names that are good avenues to nicknames that I love, and I can see potentially just using the nickname itself (i.e. Aia instead of Aizeti or Citlaia) in this case. A pp’s point about using a stronger, more solid (and perhaps more familiar or approachable) name rather than an arguably more frivolous option was a good one.
