Respondents: 21 (This poll is closed)
I’m on the side of “why not just name the child the so-called nickname?” ONLY in a case like the one you just presented. [name_f]Aria[/name_f] is its own name, so is [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f], both have rich histories and meaning apart from [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] or [name_f]Valentina[/name_f] [name_f]Bellatrix[/name_f]. I think to stretch a name that thin where it becomes an entirely different name that is entirely in-cohesive to their real name is a bit silly. I get where you’re coming from, but what is the point of her name being [name_f]Valentina[/name_f] when the teacher calls roll and she says “I go by [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f].” Most will assume it’s her middle name and then [name_f]Valentina[/name_f] [name_f]Bellatrix[/name_f] is really only for her birth certificate. I can sort of see [name_f]Aria[/name_f] coming from [name_f]Aurelia[/name_f], but I still don’t see the point in using [name_f]Aurelia[/name_f] just for important documents that no one sees? I don’t find [name_f]Aria[/name_f] or [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f] interchangeable with [name_f]Aurelia[/name_f] or [name_f]Valentina[/name_f] [name_f]Bellatrix[/name_f].
My kids both have nicknames that we use interchangeably with their full names. They would say they identify as both and answer to both equally, but when asked their names they say “[name_m]Lysander[/name_m] and [name_u]Elliot[/name_u]” so their names are being used, and with friends and family members both nicknames have come naturally, so it feels like a continuation of their real names, not like they are becoming new ones entirely. Now, my younger son’s nickname IS a different and legitimate name rather than a diminutive, but it’s so obvious in his name that it’s not a stretch in the slightest, sort of like using [name_f]Ella[/name_f] as a nickname for [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], they are intertwined. My given name is [name_u]Stacy[/name_u] and I would have loved if my parents named [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f] and called me [name_u]Stacy[/name_u] as a nickname.
Hmm… My nickname isn’t too non-intuitive (I’m [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] nn [name_f]Millie[/name_f]/[name_f]Mil[/name_f]/Moof) but I thought I’d pop in and give my two cents anyway.
I totally understand what you mean about getting to use more names that you love. I have names on my list that I’d deem too similar to use in the same sibset and so generally make one the nickname for the other ([name_f]Adelaide[/name_f] nn [name_f]Leda[/name_f], [name_f]Florence[/name_f] nn [name_f]Lola[/name_f], [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] nn Narfi, etc.). In my opinion, nicknames don’t have to make much sense - they’re nicknames, after all.
As for my experiences with a nickname, just generally:
I am thankful I’m an [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] and not just a [name_f]Millie[/name_f], just so I have something to fall back on as any of my potential careers are quite professional (lawyer, veterinarian, architect, mathematician, dentist). I only get called [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] at school but I’m not a fan of it (it’s a bit of a mouthful), though I do think it’s pretty (that sounds confusing: I like the name itself, though I dislike being called by it). I go by [name_f]Millie[/name_f], or my other nicknames (I was [name_f]Millie[/name_f] Moofter when I was younger and now get called simply either [name_f]Mil[/name_f] or Moof), at home/elsewhere.
It hasn’t caused any issues thus far. In fact, when I was younger and went exclusively by [name_f]Millie[/name_f], I had [name_f]Millie[/name_f] on the register/dental and doctor appointments/etc. When I was about ten, I went through a “I’m grown up and can’t be called a baby nickname like [name_f]Millie[/name_f]” phase for a few months, so I started to get called [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] at school. Now, I prefer [name_f]Millie[/name_f]/[name_f]Mil[/name_f] - it’s just easier to say. As for how I identify, I respond quicker to [name_f]Mil[/name_f] than anything else (mostly because that’s what family members would - and still do - shout if they want my attention). I actually have a school friend who calls me [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] like everyone else but, when he wants to get my attention from across the room, will shout [name_f]Millie[/name_f]. The only confusing thing about it is [name_f]Mil[/name_f] sounds similar to so many different things that I often mishear lol.
@hundredacre I love Aurelia too much to not actually call her that. In my case, I plan to call my kids with multiple nicknames, and just see which one (or more than one) sticks later. Aurelia will be Aurelia, Aurelie, Aura, Lia and Aria. Valentina will be Vallie, Lena and maybe VB/Phoebe. I am just curious to hear about people’s actual experience with non intuitive nicknames, because non obvious nickname is a case I often see in the forum. I also have Seraphina nn Seren and Florence nn Fleur on my list, which are stretch too, but considerably less so. Both Aria and Phoebe I’ve asked about here before and gotten answer along the line of “it’s a stretch, but can work”. Hell, the most of a stretch I’ve heard for Aurelia in the forum so far is Jelly. Now I want to hear about what is actually too far till it can’t work and what can.
ETA: to me middle names aren’t just decoration. If I sometimes use that too, or find a nickname derived from the middle name, I think it’s a fair deal. I don’t plan it to completely “replace” the actual first name though, so Valentina will also still answer to Valentina.
I love nicknames like this! They can be a bit confusing, but I don’t think they’re nearly as confusing as a few people I know (cough those relatives cough) make them out to be. I think a nickname doesn’t have to be intuitive at all. The idea of getting to use multiple names I love certainly doesn’t hurt, either.
Personally, I don’t “technically” go by a nickname on a regular basis, meaning I would always introduce myself as my full name. After people get to know me they just end up automatically shortening my name- or not, depending on how it comes out that particular time. My various nicknames are used pretty much interchangeably with my full name in that regard, and are obvious nicknames for my full name. Recently, a few friends have begin calling me by a non-intuitive nickname, and other people who know me get slightly weirded out when they hear for the first time, but I like it. I think that I’m going to end up going by that nickname a lot. [name_f]Do[/name_f] I wish my parents named me something else? Nope, I actually like my name.
As for naming the kid what you’re going to call him/her, you’ve already mentioned that you would use all of the names, so in your case I don’t think it’s even an objection. If the parents didn’t intend to use the full name, still. The kid can always go by the full name/another nickname later. I really like the examples of non-intuitive nicknames you gave!
I love nicknames, the more obscure the better. My nickname is definitely not intuitive but it’s not too out there and it’s literally all I go by, I’m not a big fan of my name, it’s easier to say, it suits my personality better and I just like the intimacy of a friendship with a nickname. I don’t get confused, I answer to my name, all my nicknames (intuitive and non-intuitive), my friend’s names and my family’s names all out of habit. [name_m]Even[/name_m] as a child, I responded to at least 5 different names. I do wish my parents named me differently only because I don’t like my name.
On the topic of strange nicknames, I have some crazy ones, [name_f]Isla[/name_f] for [name_f]Isabella[/name_f], Ender for [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], [name_u]Alfie[/name_u] for [name_u]Aiden[/name_u] [name_m]Lucas[/name_m] [name_m]Fox[/name_m]. You’re definitely not alone and I think a future child would enjoy the choice of multiple names more than being stuck with just one, god knows that was the case for me.
My nickname is totally legitimate for my formal name, but it is probably not the most popular nickname and might not make much sense to non-name-nerdy people. A lot of people make the assumption that [name_f]Meg[/name_f] is short for [name_f]Megan[/name_f], not [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]. It annoys me a little, but that’s why I almost always introduce myself as [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] first. I also strongly identify with both names, so it’s never been confusing, and I’ll happily answer to both.
Anyway, I’ve given two of my children nicknames of the sort you’re talking about. [name_f]Vera[/name_f] from [name_f]Veronica[/name_f] isn’t that much of a stretch, but [name_m]Axel[/name_m] for [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] definitely is. Neither has been a big deal. I admit that some people use the more intuitive [name_u]Alex[/name_u] for [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] even after we tell them that his official nickname is [name_m]Axel[/name_m], but, eh, we’re flexible nicknamers and use [name_u]Alex[/name_u] (and [name_m]Xander[/name_m] and [name_u]Sasha[/name_u]) ourselves every once in a while! In fact, we use multiple nicknames for all the kids, along with their formal names. The older ones will answer to pretty much all of them, so again, not particularly confusing.
I love nicknames like this! My real name is L@R@in@, named after my grandmother [name_f]LaRaine[/name_f], and I plan to use the name [name_u]Laine[/name_u] in some shape or form in order to honor her and sort of myself. Anyway, my name lends itself to many nicknames, over the years I’ve been called [name_f]Lainy[/name_f], [name_m]Larry[/name_m], [name_f]Laura[/name_f], [name_f]Lala[/name_f], [name_f]Raine[/name_f], etc. Because of this, I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] nicknames and I will most likely choose a name for my future daughter so that she can have multiple nicknames herself.
One of my nicknames used at work is Nern. It’s a long story but while I was in college, a woman I worked with could never get my name right and usually called me Lanerna. I happened to tell that story when I was first hired at my current job and many people still call me Nerna, Nern, or even Nernie. I answer to it just like they were using my real name.
I love having nicknames. It’s fun to think back to different times in my life where I went by different names. Middle and high school were [name_f]Lainy[/name_f], college was [name_f]Lala[/name_f], as a professional I use my full name, and there are tons of random nicknames thrown in-between those.
Thanks for everyone who have replied and voted so far!
I grew up answering to multiple names myself. My family usually uses my birth name, but my dad calls me with my Chinese name (which is separated from the birth name itself, so I have two name combos) more often than not. Friends from high school call me by my initials but starting from university, I use my first name again. I don’t like how my initials (CP) sound, but my classmates insisted on calling me that (there was another girl with the same name in my class and they called us with nicknames and never our actual first name, just so it didn’t get confusing), but eventually I answered to it anyway because there was no way stopping my classmates, lol. Later in life, I also started to go by pseudo -which ended up really felt like my name, though so far I have no plan to change my name. I consider all of these to be my name.
I think kids who answer to multiple names won’t have much trouble identifying with all those names. Is it safe to assume people who identify solely or mainly with their nickname grew up hardly using their actual first name then? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think a stretch nickname itself makes it even more difficult or it’s purely because of the frequency?
Well actually until 3 years ago, I went solely by my full name or my Chinese name because all my friends nicknamed me with a nickname I didn’t like ([name_f]Kristy[/name_f]). Now I have a nickname I like and that everyone uses so I go almost solely by it. A stretch nickname doesn’t make it harder imo, I mean I respond to other names that are completely unrelated to my name (think [name_m]Ethan[/name_m], [name_f]Mary[/name_f], [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]) so it is more about frequency and if they want to respond to it.