I love names. I think they can convey so much and its so exciting to be able to give another human being a name that they will carry for life. I have perused these forums and I must say that as a guy I am a bit scared for the boys names bandied about. Many are prissy, awkward or just plain old “Cabbage Patchy” These cute little boy will grow up saddled with a pompous names, ridiculous names, or plain old ugly names.
I will admit I don’t get the opposite sex well but I get my own and for all those names you tag your boys with they will likely drop them as soon as possible for some less embarrassing name that his male-peers will select, (i.e. a nick name).
When you look over time at the consistancy of guy names versus girl names you understand something. When guys are helping to select a name they are less than likely to choose “unique” names for their sons. Why? Because fathers are less likely to saddle their sons with names that might make it difficult for them to integrate socially with their peers.
Saracita, thanks…I’ll admit I loved naming my kids and we made it a fun event. I still like seeing what’s going on in the world of names. I’m also working on a book and getting the name right is important. Cheers =)
I disagree. While every name thrown around Nameberry isn’t my personal preference, I highly doubt boys will be scarred for life with the names most posters suggest.
If you look at the actual statistics and numbers (and not just “feelings”), there is a wider range of names given to both boys and girls these days than there ever has been-- and even a huge jump from the time you (and I, I’m guessing) were in school. [name_m]Ethan[/name_m], [name_u]Noah[/name_u], [name_m]Liam[/name_m], [name_u]Jayden[/name_u] and [name_u]Aiden[/name_u] were in the top 10 most popular names given to boys last year. [name_m]Lucas[/name_m] is 27. [name_m]Christian[/name_m] is 33. [name_u]Angel[/name_u] was at 57, and given to about 7,000 little boys (far more boys than girls). About the same number were given the name [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] (way more if you count the spelling [name_m]Sebastien[/name_m]).
Here’s the crazier ones: [name_m]Ezekiel[/name_m] is in the 200, and was given to nearly 2,000 boys. [name_m]Ezra[/name_m] is even higher.
Others:
[name_m]Kingston[/name_m] (#210)
[name_u]Skyler[/name_u] (290)
[name_u]Rowan[/name_u] (a berry fave at #301)
[name_u]Dallas[/name_u] (322)
[name_u]Dexter[/name_u] (berry fave- 362)
[name_m]Atticus[/name_m] (berry fave- 410)
[name_u]Walker[/name_u] (411)
[name_m]Solomon[/name_m] (441)
[name_m]Marvin[/name_m] (469)
[name_u]Rhys[/name_u] and [name_m]Pierce[/name_m] (both v. popular here at 476 and 479, respectively)
[name_u]Harper[/name_u] (Yes, given to 414 boys last year)
[name_m]Raphael[/name_m] (626)
[name_u]Theo[/name_u] (ENORMOUSLY popular here, surprisingly, only at 794 on the charts)
and so on. Honestly, there’s been such a trend toward individualistic names in the last 15 years that teasing based on names is not going to be an issue, and the discrimination we’ve seen on names is going to disappear to some degree.
Who’s going to bully [name_u]Oakley[/name_u] when there’s a [name_u]Messiah[/name_u] right next to him?!
Yup, more than 750 boys were given the name [name_u]Messiah[/name_u] last year.
Also, this website is specifically meant for people who prefer unusual names. I don’t really know what you were expecting when you signed up.
I didnt say scarred for life. I said saddled. We all have things to overcome in life but why overcome a bad name? And for kids, boys especially, ostracism at an early age is tought. I think the trend towards odd names is reflective of the lessening of male participation in naming children. Its not feelings its the way life is. My daughter used to tell me that she suffered mercilessly at the hands of other girls for what were to me trivialities. But as a guy I knew enough to accept things about girls and women that I dont understand but understand exist. I think this is one of those cases in reverse. As for [name_u]Oakley[/name_u] and [name_u]Messiah[/name_u] whose going to hire them when there is a [name_m]Jared[/name_m] or [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] to select, (doesnt happen? Think again)?
Lastly, this a website about names, not unusual names. Sorry for pushing your buttons- btw most of your current loves are neither unusual or ugly.
I think you make some valid points. At least, some food for thought when choosing a name. I instinctively rebel against most social norms and always have, so I want to say, “Frankly, I don’t give a damn,” except of course, it’s not me that’s going to be saddled with an overly elaborate name. I’d love to have a son named Hyperion, [name_u]Taliesin[/name_u], Pellinore, [name_u]Azariah[/name_u], or something else that sounds dreamy and romantic. Right now, my two top picks for a son are [name_m]Lachlan[/name_m] called [name_m]Lock[/name_m] and Gwydion called [name_m]Ion[/name_m], both of which satisfy my vision of a “dreamy” name, while giving my son a more masculine or at least more common name they can go by.
I think the majority of men select traditional names for their sons and daughters. I’m not certain why, but it seems to be the case time after time. For their daughters, they pick the names that were popular when they were in school, names that sound dated to me. Name trends change, and the children of today have a wider range of names, many of them quite unique. I’m not including unique spellings of common names, as they sound exactly the same. Boys top 10 names in the US include [name_u]Aiden[/name_u], [name_m]Ethan[/name_m], and [name_m]Liam[/name_m], all of which sound much softer than a lot of the names of boys I grew up around. They’re restrained, I suppose, which probably helps.
My brother always rolls his eyes at the names I have picked for my sons, and I do take that into consideration. My SO and future father of my children likes many of the same type of name I like, so only time will tell what sort of name we ultimately decide on. My SO is my idea of a perfect man. He’s masculine. He chops the wood and fixes things. He’s adventurous and an avid outdoorsmen. He climbs mountains in [name_f]Alaska[/name_f] with a mountain bike strapped to his back and then hoots and hollers with joy the whole way down. He has a dirty sense of humor and a quick wit, and will come to my defense with words or fists depending on the situation. He also quotes poetry and washes the dishes and I’ve seen him cry over the loss of a beloved pet. If our son has the sort of name that other men consider prissy or cabbage patchy, I hope he’s half the man his father is and lets the other “men” know he doesn’t give a shit. But if he isn’t that sort of man, he’s more than welcome to change his name. Hopefully we saddle him with a name that hits the perfect balance and it will be a non issue.
No offense, but you don’t get your own sex. You get yourself. No woman speaks for all women and you don’t speak for all men. Maybe in your community, where you live, fine. For those living in cities, you interact with people with all kinds of names, half the time so foreign you have no idea what the gender is. For the vast numbers of people living in urban centers, your concerns are unwarranted. Especially since, as you point out, a kid can nickname themselves whatever they want. (By the way, girls knock down their ‘pompous’ names to easy, mainstream nicknames all the time. Because it’s something people do.)
I agree with you to some extent (I’m not really a fan of unisex or feminine sounding male names), but I do think there’s a difference between choosing a masculine name for your son, and limiting yourself to only classic male names for fear of your child being teased. I agree with pp’s that children nowadays are very accustomed to unique names. I teach children, and I have never heard a kid tease or criticize another kid about their name, including the boys I’ve had named [name_f]Kynlee[/name_f] and Rowynn.
I think you are generalizing both genders far too much. I agree with lizgingermitch, you can’t speak for your entire gender, any more than I can speak for mine.
I find it odd that you say women are more likely to ‘saddle’ their kids with unique names, yet there have actually been a lot of threads on this website with women asking for advice because their husbands have a really odd/unique taste in names. Yes there are threads regarding situations when the tastes are reversed, but I really don’t understand how it’s logical to generalize anything. Every person is different and has different opinions on names, regardless of their gender.
I’ve never understood the argument that a John is more likely to get the job than someone with a more original name. Won’t all the Jacob’s and Ethan’s blend in, whereas the Caspian will be more memorable? The only time I think this argument is legitimate is when it is a crazy misspelling such as Jheighdynn or something.
May I also ask what your opinion about boy names used for girls is?
I find your view to be sexist and offensive. Your points were valid in the 1940’s. Names are evolving just as society is. I believe if you took the time to actually look into NB posts, you would find that women are rarely “saddling” their children with anything. It is a partnership between both parents (when possible).
Try not to be such a chauvinist the next you thrust your opinion onto half of the world’s population.
So you’re a gender essentialist who has elected himself spokesperson of all men and descended upon a female-dominated forum to scold us for having opinions you don’t agree with on a subject you know nothing about? Yawn.
While I agree with some of your sentiments, I have to say I disagree with your ASSumption that fathers are not involved in choosing names. My husband has 100% veto power and when we narrowed down our list, he was the one that made the final choice (over the name that I personally preferred). Is the name we chose prissy and awkward? Perhaps, in YOUR opinion, but in our peer circle of mostly engineers, scientists, doctors, and other intellectual-types, it will be very accepted.
I’m a fan of giving boys boy names and girls girl names. As a girl with only brothers, I completely get where you’re coming from – masculine, non-ridiculous names are certainly easier to live with and create a better social environment.
But watching my brothers and their ‘weird’ names (this is an accurate statement for at least one of the two), having an uncommon, even rare name has helped them. They have learned how to deal with unwarranted negativity towards them, and developed a good sense of not giving a crap. Their names have been burdens to an extent, but they have overcome the burden with flying colors. It’s a small amount of character building, but it has taken them a long way. They both had middle names to ‘fall back’ on, [name_m]John[/name_m] and [name_m]Maxwell[/name_m], but they never did. Because their weird names became a part of their identity, part of who they are, what they’ve learned, and how they take adversity. Despite the teasing from their male peers, and numerous nickname attempts, their names are just that: theirs.
So while I won’t give my child a name like [name_m]Huckleberry[/name_m], I certainly won’t be naming him [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] or [name_m]David[/name_m] just to give him an ‘easier’ time. He will find friends with a name like Dashiel or [name_m]Hector[/name_m] or [name_m]Matthias[/name_m], and they will be friends worth having.
I have to ask, what sort of name do you consider “cabbage patchy”? I’ve never heard that before. I didn’t play with cabbage patch dolls as a kid, though they were around, so I didn’t know what that meant. Then I saw another thread where you called someones choices “cabbage patchy” and out of curiosity, I looked up the cabbage patch dolls. I’m seeing [name_m]Travis[/name_m], [name_u]Wade[/name_u], [name_m]Manuel[/name_m], [name_m]Zachary[/name_m], [name_m]Ty[/name_m], [name_m]Mitchell[/name_m], [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m], [name_m]Jeremy[/name_m], [name_m]Eric[/name_m], [name_m]Justin[/name_m], etc. Are those the sort of name you’re talking about? I’m confused now. What’s wrong with that sort of name?