A Word on Privacy

General Name Discussion
1

So a small but nagging concern crossed my mind this past week. As I’ve made clear in posts throughout these forums, I don’t yet have any children, but my husband and I have been TTC for several months, and thus the names that I discuss on these boards are no longer pipe dreams, but are definite options for a hopefully soon-to-come little person. Like many name lovers on this site, I have some particularly unique name combos in mind for future babies, most of which I thankfully haven’t posted yet. Several days ago it dawned on me that some of my name combos are actually unique enough that a Google search of them could potentially lead straight to this site. So I tried it. I Googled my top combo for a girl, the name that my husband and I sometimes refer to our “future daughter” as in conversation; of course the name choice could still change, but for now, we like to think of that as a future daughter’s name. It’s a combo that I haven’t outright said in the forums yet (waiting until we are actually pregnant to seek feedback on it), but I had written it on another Nameberry user’s profile in a conversation with her, where it would be visible to anyone who visited her Nameberry profile page. I won’t post the full combo here, but to make my point I will mention that the first name is [name]Narnia[/name] (again, please no feedback on this yet; I will explain why it’s so well-loved when we’re pregnant and will ask for feedback at that time). A Google search of “[name]Narnia[/name]” of course will not lead straight to my posts on these forums, but the middle name we have chosen is equally unique, and when I searched the two words together, sure enough, the VERY TOP Google entry that came up was “Conversation between [other user] and alzora…” and included actual snippets of our conversation, containing the full name combo, visible right on the Google search page. I am completely uncomfortable with the idea of my child’s name leading people around the world straight to my posts on this site, and to my user name, partially for security reasons but also because it is just awkward. I have since been able to clear the trail (and it wasn’t as simple as deleting the conversation; for some reason that didn’t seem to wipe it, but I finally changed profile settings and contacted [name]Pam[/name], and it no longer shows up on Google but I’m not sure what finally achieved that). It has made me more cautious about what combos I post in such a public forum. Posting just a unique first name or just a unique middle name alone likely won’t be traceable with Google, but to those users who have entirely unique combos, please think twice before posting them here if you seriously plan to use them in the future. Some may not consider it “dangerous” (we all have different definitions of what constitutes dangerous behavior online), but I just found it extremely awkward and embarrassing to have my user name revealed right up front by a Google search of our top name choice, a name that we are leaning toward using for an actual, real-life person. Maybe most of you have already thought this through and I’m just a little slow, or maybe the idea of your children’s names leading Google users to this site doesn’t bother you, but I wanted to at least bring it to your attention that if you plan on actually using a unique name combo, you may not want to post it together in a single post on the forums or on a user’s profile. [name]Pam[/name] pointed out to me that the only truly private aspects of the forums are those sections marked as “Private,” such as the private messaging function.

To be honest, the experience made me wonder if I even want to give my child such a unique, Google-able name at all in the age of the internet, because ultimately a person given a unique name [name]WILL[/name] be easily traced online, via that child’s future Facebook profile, Twitter account, or even brief mentions of him/her in community newspapers posted online, etc, and I’m not so sure that’s a good thing…? Maybe it would be safer if I just named a girl [name]Sophia[/name] like everyone else! [name]Just[/name] some things to ponder…

2

Honestly, I’ve thought about it as well, and I realised that I’d much rather have a semi-unique name than a totally unique one. I have a totally unique one and it’s pretty cool in theory, but I feel weird that if I ever put my full name up there, I’d be the ONLY [name]ONE[/name] ever with it, which I am. I don’t like being that traceable, you know?

But then again, my combos picked out are pretty unique…

3

I completely understand having a completely unique name could be problematic. All of my names are common enough that even the full combo on Google gets various results. I go for a common/familiar name and then one unique one.

4

Good point you have made there, especially with the way things are heading i.e technology evolving.

5

Definitely a great point! I’ve googled my own name, and there are at least 5 other women with the same first and last name as me, and both are relatively uncommon. I don’t have to worry about other people sharing my first name (although I do encounter a few) but I’m not the only person that shows up on a google search either. I strongly believe that there are great things about having a common name, and this is definitely one of them- it’s easy to hide if your name is [name]Katherine[/name]!

6

On the one hand I understand why you’d be alarmed, but on the other… not really.

This is strongly biased towards people who know you in real life, also finding out that you’re “alzora” on a baby names website, not the other way around. The reason is that babies and young children do not have internet content created for them in any indexed fashion. Pulling a name wildly out of thin air, if you had a daughter called “[name]Narnia[/name] [name]Sapphire[/name]” [which I am sure you are not considering] your friends and family could ildly google “[name]Narnia[/name] [name]Sapphire[/name]” and see if any others exist. They would stumble on your alzora identity. But is that really so bad? It’s hard to imagine what possible downside there could be, from a security perspective.

Given that a young child has no other internet presence, it’s unlikely that even a truly deranged berry who was hellbent on stalking you could ever find that “[name]Narnia[/name] [name]Sapphire[/name]” was really “[name]Narnia[/name] S. [name]Thompson[/name],” daughter of [name]April[/name] and [name]Henry[/name] [name]Thompson[/name] of Privet Drive, [name]Norman[/name], Oklahoma. And show up at your front door.

I have discussed my son’s name extensively on this site. He’s listed by his full name as my son on my facebook page. Yet when I google all three names, nothing comes up; [name]Antoine[/name] [name]Raphael[/name] alone leads to some admirable men (mostly Haitians) whose surname is [name]Raphael[/name]. It’s not as worrisome as you might think.

Being googleable is actually extremely valuable. It will be highly, highly prized in the near future.

7

You know, I have posted my full name on this site and I don’t really care. I understand why you might, though.

I blog about a really controversial topic for a living. Anyone who is involved with the issue I blog about, from any perspective, more than likely knows my name. Please understand I am not horn-tooting, I’m just explaining. I have readers who are FB friends. I have gotten hate mail that would probably alarm most people - it used to alarm me - although the vast majority of my mail is positive.

My point is I am all over Google. I am not hard to find. And in am extremely unpopular with a lot of people.

Maybe it should worry me more but even my husband who is a little paranoid doesn’t worry about it. Most Internet haters are all bark and no bite, and stick to sniveling behind a keyboard. On the off chance they decided to make it personal, I live in the South, where I am permitted to own personal protection items the sight of which would take the vinegar out of a bad guy’s pee pee.

I understand you wanting to protect your privacy and don’t begrudge you that, and I’ve certainly learned in my brief time here to start paying more attention to the privacy of others. I’m just trying to give you my perspective as someone who is quite public, Internet-wise, and explain that it doesn’t really affect me negatively.

8

You’d might want to use a “.” When you post for example “N.arnia [name]Marie[/name] S.mith” or something like that.

9

I’ve actually spent some time pondering whether being Googleable would be a good thing or a bad thing for a child (that is, for when the child is grown). As [name]Blade[/name] said, perhaps it is valuable, and I probably won’t change my name combos just to avoid it, but it almost seems like the child could love it or hate it depending on his personality, so is it fair to give him an entirely Googleable name in case he ends up valuing his privacy more than some people? My husband is a very private person, not in a rude way but in an introverted way. I don’t imagine he would like it very much if his mom had named him Alabaster Pickle or some name that would only bring up HIS information in a Google search. I, on the other hand, don’t care as much, though my maiden name was the most common surname in the country so I never had to worry, and really I still don’t have to worry with my married name. But in this case, with potential children’s names tracing back to Nameberry and to my user name, I find it more embarrassing than anything. In the situation I mentioned with the [name]Narnia[/name] name combo bringing up snippets of a conversation I had with another user, those snippets, visible right on the Google search results page, included my dialogue explaining that the chosen middle name for [name]Narnia[/name] is my nickname for my husband and is inscribed on my wedding band (it is just a shortened version of his real name); this had been stated succinctly enough to appear on the Google page. Of course anybody who knows me would know immediately upon seeing it that I was indeed the poster of that message, as that is what I openly call my husband, and if that name combo is what I have named my daughter, then they won’t have to do any further digging to realize who “alzora” is. I guess I don’t like the idea of people I know finding out that I’m a name fanatic on a baby name website? Not that I hide it, per se, but I don’t talk much about it either. In most cases maybe people WOULDN’T be able to figure out who “alzora” is, but I guess I’m paranoid about it. I was once discovered on another forum by a friend–not a name forum, and nothing embarrassing, just another forum–and it felt like voyeurism. I hadn’t even posted any unsafe, identifiable information, and this acquaintance had figured it out, which I found very awkward. Posting full unique name combos here may not compromise anyone’s safety, but I guess I’m trying to avoid that awkwardness of being traced here and “spied on” by people I know.

EDIT: I’ll add that I do write for a community newspaper, and my name has been posted in many other ways throughout the community and even online, so I really don’t have a problem with publicizing who I am. But Nameberry is different. We enter these forums with a sense of privacy, and we can openly and honestly share our opinions, ideas, and even TTC problems and concerns or other private matters, without worrying that our “real life” friends and family will be peeking in. Maybe I don’t care so much that my future children’s names can be traced to my REAL name as their mother (though again, will THEY like to be traceable?), but I don’t want their names leading my friends and family to “alzora” and, say, my posts in the TTC thread.

10

I’ve been thinking about this as well… if people google what I (intend to) call my child, they’ll come straight to nameberry and see my conversations… I doubt anyone I know will bother doing that, but still. Anyway, I totally understand your concern, especially as you want to use a more unique name. If I were to call my baby [name]Hugo[/name] or [name]Sophie[/name] I wouldn’t worry as much.

11

I completely understand alzora, especially in your second post. I’m sure I have posted details about my life in the 1000+ posts here, and I’m sure someone could piece things together (if they cared that much) but I prefer to be a little more private on here. [name]Carl[/name] [name]Sagan[/name] is the only thing on my profile if I remember correctly, haha. I have also wanted to ask for middle name advice, but it would mean explaining that “[name] is my mom’s maiden name, so excuse the flow” and I’m just not comfortable doing that.

With social media being so popular, and everything about me, me, me and what I think, and what I am doing, it’s nice to have this site and its exchange of ideas and stories and excitements under the (relative) cloak of anonymity.

12

This is a good point, @alzora. I will have to Google some of the names I posted here on Nameberry and see if they show up in the results. Hopefully not.

  • Shealah
13

I like the idea of including some extra punctuation in your more unique name combinations (i.e. N@rnia S.apphire). Unfortunately, not all posters take the hint, and will then repeat the name in their comments, without the changes. In general, I’m not too worried about super-sleuth friends and family because I guess the worst that could happen is them seeing me mention one of their names as something I’m not a fan of :confused: However, I could see some of the stuff discussed in Momberries being uncomfortable. Any other online forums where I discuss those type of topics (particularly TTC-esque things), there is pretty much no way that someone could easily find me unless they were to actually get on my computer. I think it would be nice if there was a way to turn off the ability for non-members to view the rest of a member’s threads. Maybe there is and I just don’t know it :slight_smile:

14

[name]Ive[/name] definately been concerned with this as well. [name]Ive[/name] also talked extensively about my childrens names. [name]Ive[/name] googled their names, and the only thing that has shown up is nameberry and other name sites that admired their names. i dont think someone will show up at my door for my children because they found their name on nameberry. I would be more concerned if their personal information or ss# is on it. Most definately Im more concerned about talking about other kids names on nameberry.

15

I understand to a degree. My daughters don’t have uncommon names so that makes me less worried but we do have a very unusual surname. I tried searching their full names and nothing related to them came up at all even though I have posted their full names (only once) here on Nameberry.
If any one came across my Nameberry account they would know it was me based on the names I have in my signature but I don’t think I would care. I would care more about someone else finding a post I made about their children’s names! haha.

16

If googling my combos has taught me anything, only one of them leads me right back to nameberry, and the rest just aren’t as unique as I had thought. I am not sure how I feel about this… I don’t care that one combo leads back here, because the odds of someone searching it are so small as we are years away from even breathing it aloud! I might actually be more bothered that there are seemingly quite a few women with the names I love for girls, full combos and all… This all being said, I never post last names, and I am hesitant to post my Fiances name, or names of members of my family/friends purely because I would rather people not make the connection.

17

I googled many combos I had posted on a thread here, as well. Only 2 linked back to here. And both were uncommon first names, with common middle names. And I know that the people with those names wouldn’t have minded my posting them. There are 2 groups I haven’t posted, but for specific reasons per group. As far as discussing names for future children, if you love a name so much (and it’s a unique name) that you want your child to be the only one with that name, it’s best to do as you and others have done. [name]Don[/name]'t mention the fn or mn, or put symbols in the place of a letter in each name. But if the names your thinking of are common, there are so many other people with those names that they don’t even register in the google search. But I don’t think any of the ones I have posted would ever care enough to even look, to be honest. [name]Even[/name] if they did, I wouldn’t mind a connection being made. Most people I know know that I love names and wouldn’t be surprised to find me on a naming site! It totally depends on where your privacy comfort lies in the grand scheme of things, I think.

18

I’m completely googable. My first name alone is very uncommon and my last name is a little unusual.My middle name is virtually unheard of. I do think about this, but I would rather stick out with my very rare name than blend in with a sea of Sarahs and Katies.

19

I hadn’t really thought about this until now, and it is a bit off putting that my fave names are Google-able, but I suppose being linked back to here wouldn’t be so bad. If by some miracle my future kids do actually end up with these names I’m hoping it will just look like planning ahead. Some form of privacy setting where posts can only be seen on the actual website (and not via Google) would be a good idea.

20

Interesting thread!
I have a very Google-able name. My first name is very uncommon (if not downright rare) and my last name is also unusual. If you put my full name (no middle name needed) in quotations, I’m the only (alive) person that comes up!
I actually don’t mind, though - there’s only a couple of news stories and athletics/cross country results, really. Nothing incriminating! Not even my Facebook shows up, as it’s set to private.
I would say, if you love a unique name, GO FOR IT! I’ve never had any problems being Google-able.
(And I know you weren’t asking for opinions, but I [name_f]LOVE[/name_f] THE NAME [name_f]NARNIA[/name_f])