First off, I am not a “Troll”. The fact that mothers are arguing and having debates on a baby name site is pretty ridiculous. I knew the name [name]Cohen[/name] was a sacred Jewish name. Did I care? No, I didn’t. I see no reason as to why I should. I am not Jewish, nor [name]Do[/name] I live in a highly populated Jewish Community. I don’t have any Synogues near me, and I do not even know of any Jewish people residing in my area. I’m not worried about my child being looked down upon, because if a parent really judges a child on their name, they have some serious problems. These forums are for helping each other out, not to argue. We’re all adults. So I suggest all of you mothers mature up and act like it. NOW: Any middle name ideas for the name [name]Cohen[/name]?
[name]Hi[/name], my son’s name is [name]Cohen[/name] and I do live in a city with a jewish population… My neighbours are Jewish, my son goes to a summer camp ran by Jewish people, and there has never been any problems, not even questions. That’s my experience. I have actually considered just leaving nameberry, even though I enjoy learning about names, because I think there is some really bad vibes here and I don’t believe in destroying other people’s name choices.
I think [name]Cohen[/name] [name]Victor[/name], [name]Cohen[/name] [name]Samuel[/name] or [name]Cohen[/name] [name]Oliver[/name] are really nice choices.
Lol. Sock puppets! 
This makes me sad. Why should you care about another culture just because you don’t associate with anyone from that culture? Really? So just because you don’t live near any black people, it’s okay to make racist jokes?
To me, it’s like naming my son Pope. I AM Catholic so it would be somewhat culturally appropriate but I know others in my religion would take offense to it.
I’d also like to politely point out that people were actually being fairly polite about asking you to not use the name. If you’re really so upset about the reactions you got here, perhaps it’s best to not use the name because in real life, you could get just as many negative reactions, if not worse reactions when you actually associate outside your non-Jewish bubble.
I understand your frustration, but I’m not feeling motivated to help right now, mostly because I feel as if I’ve been snapped at–unjustly and out of the blue–for “needing to mature” re: an argument I never had.
Confrontation is not a hugely-successful way to begin a request.
For me, since there are so many other fabulous names out there, I would just choose a different one that isn’t so controversial. OP, I understand what you’re saying. I’m not Jewish, don’t live in a highly-populated Jewish area, and I still don’t completely “get” what is offensive about the name [name]Cohen[/name]. But knowing that it CAN be offensive to some is enough to make me not use it, out of respect. I would be uncomfortable if someone named their son [name]Jesus[/name] [name]Christ[/name]. I try to see it along the same lines as that.
If it helps, I knew a kid growing up whose last name was [name]Koen[/name]. Pronounced the absolute same, but spelled differently. Maybe that could be an option? Names with a similar sound: [name]Boden[/name], [name]Rowan[/name], [name]Logan[/name].
If you like the sound of [name]Cohen[/name], what about Koehn? It’s [name]German[/name], pronounced co-en, and a variant of Kuehn.
Guys, just ignore them.
I am not a “troll” or a sock puppet either… that kind of name calling is quite unfortunate… just for stating my opinion, I am being threatened to be blocked from the site. I won’t fuel the fire and will tune out…
I feel like you should care because you’re not Jewish. We should be sensitive of other people’s religions and cultures. I’ll admit that I, too, don’t really “get” why it’s offensive. As a [name]Christian[/name], it wouldn’t bother me if someone named their kid [name]Priest[/name] or Pope. I mean, I wouldn’t like it, but I wouldn’t be offended. Still, you know that this name does happen to be offensive to many Jewish people, so using it anyway would be pretty inconsiderate. Plus, even though you don’t live among many Jewish people now, you’re child is going to venture out into the world someday. [name]Do[/name] you really want him to potentially have to deal with the repercussions of having a name that offends an entire religion? I would suggest using [name]Coen[/name] instead. Very similar, but comes from completely different roots (Dutch short form of [name]Conrad[/name], meaning “brave”) so you lose the religious baggage. As for middle names…
[name]Coen[/name] [name]James[/name]
[name]Coen[/name] [name]Anthony[/name]
[name]Coen[/name]…I don’t know. I’m not great at combos, we just use middle names to honor family. I would suggest avoiding names that start with C or N and names that end in N.
Now I demand you act like a mature adult and help me think of a middle name for my son!
Um, no thanks.
Honestly, I agree with you. I’m not Jewish. I don’t live in a Jewish area. I’ve never met a Jewish person in real life. I still don’t really understand why he name [name]Cohen[/name] is considered offensive. But I’d never name my son [name]Cohen[/name] because of others’ extreme negative reactions. I wouldn’t want to face that and I wouldn’t want my son to face that (and you both will at some point).
I’m not sure what [name]Cohen[/name] means to Jewish people, but I don’t see why it would be off-limits to non-Jewish people. [name]Plenty[/name] of people are named [name]Jesus[/name] and [name]Mohammad[/name]. Yes, they are usually religious, but I don’t see why it’s offensive to have a religious name without being a member of that religion. There are plenty of non-Jewish kids called [name]Jude[/name] (Jew in [name]German[/name]) and non-[name]Christian[/name] kids called [name]Christian[/name], and even a handful of atheist kids called [name]Jesus[/name]. I really love the sound of [name]Cohen[/name], though I wouldn’t use it myself (and as a film nerd, I like the spelling [name]Coen[/name], because I like the [name]Coen[/name] brothers :))
That said, here are my middle name suggestions: [name]Zachary[/name], [name]Patrick[/name], [name]Ozias[/name], [name]Wyatt[/name], [name]Lucas[/name], [name]Michael[/name], [name]James[/name], [name]Edward[/name]… [name]Cohen[/name] seems to pair very well with classic middles best, but something a bit trendier or obscure could also go well. [name]How[/name] about [name]Cohen[/name] [name]Rhys[/name]? Or [name]Cohen[/name] [name]Dominic[/name]?
This may be something to consider, OP. I know you really love the name [name]Cohen[/name], but if you’re going to use it, think about people freaking out from time to time, and decide whether you’re up for it. I just posted on another thread that I love the name [name]Judas[/name] [name]Pax[/name], but took it off my list because a) I wouldn’t want him to take crap from religious people on a regular basis because of his name, and b) I’m not religious and don’t want my kids’ names to be, either (and [name]Jude[/name] means Jew in [name]German[/name], and I expect my kids will study and hopefully speak [name]German[/name]).
Good luck with your decision!
Really round 2 with [name]Cohen[/name]? If we are so immature let her figure out her own middles for her son. I do not see Nameberry or Nameberries as being bullies, I see them educating you about a name that is clearly offensive to a lot of people. Yes there are those select few who will not care but its just respect for another culture. No offense but if I saw the name Pope, [name]Jesus[/name], etc. on a Jewish person I would probably raise an eye brow. Not saying I would be offended but it just wouldn’t make sense to me.
[name]Read[/name] this article. Its a battlefield with the name. Its a constant tug of war and debates. Why even go near the name? You are suppose to enjoy your child’s name and granite you may not care about what others think but your son will eventually leave the nest and have to face issues on his own. Or he may never be address about his name but why take a chance. Maybe I am too immature to give advice, but I appreciate when Berries tell me about certain names and knowledge that I did not know about.
I do understand that people believe jewish people will find the name [name]Cohen[/name] somewhat offensive but how often is that going to happen? [name]How[/name] many times will this baby come across random jewish people in the street asking about his name and making a big deal out of it? I doubt it would happen quite often, then the people he will interact with are his family who definitely won’t be offended by it since they’re not jewish and also his future friends and maybe a couple of them might be jewish and find the name offensive for a while, if they even do at all
And also if the name [name]Cohen[/name] ends up giving him so much trouble he could go by his middle name and no one will ever have to know his first name is [name]Cohen[/name] unless they ask him or are close enough to know it
Sigh. As a Jew, I don’t find the use of [name]Cohen[/name] offensive exactly, but i find your attitude to be horribly so. You’re not Jewish and aren’t friends with any Jews, so that justifies a deliberate act of cultural appropriation?
Look, it DOES mean something important to us. It’s not like [name]Jesus[/name] or [name]Levi[/name] or [name]Jude[/name] or [name]Mohammad[/name], all of which are actual first names before anything else. And no people, I highly doubt that there are loads of non-Muslim kids running around named [name]Mohammad[/name], or dozens of non-[name]Christian[/name] Christians or Jesuses. Be real.
So, I don’t find it offensive exactly. But I do have a problem with deliberate ignorance, and the utter disregard for another culture that you and others are expressing. Americans tend to think that there’s this melting pot thing going on here that makes everything ok, allows you to make up whatever you want with no consideration for how it comes across to other people. I have a similar reaction to people taking male biblical names and declaring them girly-sounding. You’re misusing something that belongs to me. We’re a minority group with a history of having our rights and culture trampled, and yeah, it would behoove you, in your white-person-of-Christian-descent way, to be at least a little more sensitive to that.
I’m not surprised that people don’t know this, so let me explain. There’s a segment of the Jewish population even today that has a family tradition of descent from [name]Aaron[/name]. It still counts for something, even without the [name]Temple[/name] in Jerusalem. My father is a cohen: he gets called up to read the Torah before others in synagogue because of it, he recites a special blessing over the congregation on holidays, he even gets other small honors or firsts in religious gatherings because of it. Cohanim avoid coming into contact with dead bodies, which means (among other things) that the only time my father has ever been inside a cemetery was at his own father’s funeral. My grandfather’s gravestone has a special symbol on it that shows he was a cohen. My name as written on my ketubah (Jewish marriage contract) notes that I am the daughter of a cohen, and my status actually affects my kids in certain ways (FTR, my husband is a Levite).
You can go ahead and name your son [name]Cohen[/name] because you like the way it sounds and that matters more to you than anything else. But I reserve the right to find your choice distasteful.
I’ve never quiet understood the problem, to be quiet honest.
We name children [name]Bishop[/name], [name]Jesus[/name] and [name]Christian[/name], both of which are obviously religious, and [name]Bodhi[/name], which means spiritual enlightenment for Buddhists. Why do people just blacklist the name [name]Cohen[/name]? I don’t quite understand it. I love the way the name sounds and all its spelling variations.
Anyway, I like [name]Cohen[/name] [name]James[/name], [name]Cohen[/name] [name]Oliver[/name] and [name]Cohen[/name] [name]Nash[/name].
[name]Hope[/name] that gives you some ideas.
As long as it’s not a slur I don’t see why one culture should have a monopoly over any name. Names can mean different things to different people.
Unfortunately I am terrible with the middle name game and tend to feel that “anything goes”…I like one syllable names. Are there any family names you could use? If you give a list of your favorite combos I’d be happy to choose.
I simply do not comprehend this. It’s not about wanting to have a monopoly over it, just to keep it out of your hands. The issue is that it’s NOT a name at all, it’s something a lot more sacred than that. [name]Even[/name] if you don’t have a parallel sense or area of sacredness in your own life, you still ought to be able to accept that there’s more going on here than just “I’m Jewish, so [name]Cohen[/name] is NMS.”
Pope isn’t exactly a common, popular name - not in the US top 1000 ever. Neither is [name]Bishop[/name], which might surprise some of you. [name]How[/name] many non-Catholics out there are calling their kids Pope because they think it’s cool? [name]How[/name] many non-Muslims call their kids Sheikh because it sounds hip? For some reason people only make the leap into “not my religion so I’ll do it anyway, screw you” for [name]Cohen[/name]. Why is that? And why, after repeatedly being told that it is an essentially inappropriate choice, do people still say “I don’t get it. Names don’t belong to you!”
This isn’t about ownership, and it isn’t about being petty or whiny. It’s about trying to hold onto something that you might not really get, but it really matters to us.
I’ve mostly tried to stay out of this because, especially in THIS thread, the discussion has gone from a discussion to attacking people, but I really want to thank Spring13 for her thoughtful, tempered, and eloquent response. Your first 3 paragraphs in your first post are an exquisite explanation of cultural appropriation and the next paragraph is a wonderful window into what the heart of the issue is from your perspective. This is how discourse is done. Thank you for taking the time and risk to do it.