Lately I’ve been just enamored with the idea of adopting a little blonde boy from [name]Russia[/name]. I have no real idea why, but it’s just been on my mind for a good few months.
Thing is, I’m not European, at all.
I feel like this is just too much of a stretch to even pass off, not that I’d want him to think he wasn’t adopted, I’d likely want him to be aware of that from as early on as is healthy. But because it’s just…odd seeming for a non-European to adopt a blonde boy from [name]Russia[/name]. It’s one thing if it’s a domestically done one and it just worked out that way, but to actively try and adopt a child from Europe?
Ehhh, that’s likely just borderline “unacceptable” in most eyes, I feel.
I just wanted some input and ideas from other adoptive parents, future ones, and adopted children.
I won’t be a mother for another 6/7 years at least, but I’m very interested in hearing the thoughts of others and having a discussion.
I don’t think this is any different than a white couple adopting a child from, say, Uganda. [name]Every[/name] child deserves a family. I hardly think ethnicity matters in the equation.
If there’s really a child that needs a good home and you can provide it, I don’t see that it matters what your or their race is. Unless you really think it make his life more difficult if he stands out a lot in your culture.
I don’t see how this would be any different from an average white couple from [name]Canada[/name] or the US adopting a baby girl from [name]China[/name]. My parents are white and had me first, then adopted my twin brothers (white), then adopted my sister and another brother, neither of whom are white. Is it a big deal? No. I don’t think this is something you need to worry about at all. If giving a child a loving family through adoption is something that you were meant to do, then pursue it, no matter where it leads you.
If I chose to have children, I plan to adopt. That being said, ethnicity and race wouldn’t alter my desicion in the slightest. If a child needs a home, you should adopt it, given you’re ready. [name]Race[/name] and ethnicity don’t matter.
My brother, who’s twelve, says that he wants to adopt a child from [name]Asia[/name], [name]Africa[/name], and Europe, so they can grow up and not be racist. It’s adorable, and proves that race doesn’t matter.
I’ve always imagined myself adopting an African American girl. When I think about potentially adopting, that’s what I picture in my mind. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to adopt a certain race. It’s the same thing as hoping your biological child has blue eyes instead of brown or curly hair instead of straight. My husband is half Navajo and he has a dark complexion and black hair and dark brown eyes, and I have to admit when our daughter ended up with my pale complexion and green eyes, I was a tad disappointed! I always pictured my children being darker for some reason. Who knows, my next child could look like him and people will think they’re not related or something. I have a friend who has a 6 year old from a previous relationship with a white man, and now she is married to an African American man and they have a 1 year old son together. If we go out without her husband, people ask if her younger son is adopted because he looks like a different race. She gets really annoyed.
I did my senior these on “the importance of families incorporating Chinese culture in their adopted Chinese child’s life” and so I have to say if you do adopt from another country, do try to blend the cultures. It is so sad to see a child lose their native language and their culture because they are adopted by someone of another culture.
Sure you can’t do everything, but tell them about their country, make sure you do research of your own so you can. I am half Chinese and though not adopted, I have also felt part of me is missing because my mom didn’t share her culture. I ended up majoring in [name]Asian[/name] Literature and Language in order to learn more about myself. It is way more beneficial for the child if you grow up teaching them their culture and even their language so if they choose to go back they can easily speak to the people there. I wasn’t raised bilingual and am very sad since my Chinese will never be fluent. I plan on having my children go to Chinese immersion schools so they won’t miss out on what I did.
[name]Every[/name] child does deserve a home, but when adopting from another country, you have to find ways to keep the child’s native culture alive because they will never truely be American. With Europeans it’s easier because they are white and look like Americans, but for Asians and African Americans, they will always be judged by their race. [name]Even[/name] so, I still think culture is important since it gives the child a place to fall back on when they feel they don’t fit in.
Oh most definitely, I agree. If I did ever adopted a Russian child, I’d teach them as much as I could about their native culture. I’d even learn to cook Russian foods.
I would actually be interested to know if [name]Russia[/name] allows this as they have become quite restrictive in the last few years. And of course the draw of [name]Russia[/name] for international adoption is that they have white children so they would mainly be used to seeing white adoptive parents. I actually saw a story on CNN a couple of days ago about a Russian delegation from their Children’s Services coming to a ranch in the states that treats foreign adopted children with autism, [name]RAD[/name], FAS and the like to check on the children, which the adoptive parents were none to pleased about. I don’t think there is anything wrong with adopting outside your race. If you can give a child who doesn’t have one a good home I think that is wonderful, but I would actually do some research before you get your heart set on [name]Russia[/name] to make sure that they would allow it.
We have two precious little boys that we adopted from [name]Kenya[/name]. We were blessed that through my husband’s work, we lived in [name]Kenya[/name] for two years. There is a great need for so many children in [name]Kenya[/name]. WE had prayed for years before we even knew that we would be in [name]Kenya[/name] about adoption, and it was always something we felt called too. Once in [name]Kenya[/name] we knew God had put us there for more than hubby’s work [name]Levi[/name] and [name]Isaiah[/name] are now 4. They know they are different than us (the color of their skin) but we celebrate that God made us all different, and all for his glory! We have LOTS of [name]Kenyan[/name] decor in our home, paintings, and all the beautiful hand carved art. My boys know and are proud to be from [name]Kenya[/name], but they identify theirselves as Americans It is just something you “weave” into their lives… their culture (reading children’s books about the country,looking at pictures, incorporating art work, and talking about the culture)…
I think people underestimate that even a child in your own ethnicity may not look like you. We never had a preference for what “type” of child we were willing to adopt, so when our son was born (full hispanic descent) it was just how it was. I am even half hispanic, and we don’t like a bit alike. Now that we are adopting again (we also had bio kids before and after adoption, who look like little they are from [name]Sweeden[/name] they are so blonde!) we don’t have a preference this time either. I think if it matters to you, do not open yourself up just to get placed quicker. I would never try to pretend our son is anything but full hispanic, and we are so proud of his background. We are also will to handle all the people, comments, and misunderstandings that come with it. There will be lots of opinions for sure, so you have to be 100% sure you are ready to deal with them before they come! Best wishes!
I’m not adopted, nor have adopted. But I have worked with families that have adopted children from other countries. [name]One[/name] was from [name]Russia[/name] (adopted 2 boys), and I’ve worked with at least 4 or 5 families (and known several others) that have adopted children from Ethiopia. I think it’s awesome! In each case, the parents, and myself, have tried to bring things from the culture they’re adopted from into their lives quite often. Yes, they’re growing up in the US, but it’s still important for them to know the culture they’re coming from, too! For the ones from Ethiopia, the mom’s and I have spent hours (online, asking hair stylists, mom’s we’ve seen whose children’s hair seems well taken care of, etc.) trying to figure out how best to care for their hair, products, styles, etc., etc., etc.
I would [name]LOVE[/name] to adopt some day! If a child needs a home, they need a home. It doesn’t matter what country the adoptive parents are from!
The one thing you may need to keep in mind is that sometimes it’s actually quite difficult to adopt outside your own race. Adoption agencies like to place children with families that have something in common - whether it be race, religion, language, or even having lived in the same country… they want to see some sort of connection. Now obviously, there’s a lot of exceptions to the rule (i.e., if you’re a major celebrity, none of the above seems to really apply) but that is generally how it works.
My husband is Egyptian, so if we chose to adopt (a possibility) we would be placed ahead of the pack if we were interested in an Arab child, as he is also fluent is Arabic. [name]Egypt[/name], coincidentily, does not allow adoptions outside of the country - there’s been 1 reported in the last 20 or so years.
I have friends who are caucasian and Spanish… and just adopted a little girl from [name]China[/name]. Their nudge facotor was that the mom is fluent in Mandarin.
So if you’re really serious about adoption, it’s important to look into things like that - even if it means learning a whole new language (which I actually highly reccomend for everyone anyways. It’s so awesome).
