Hello, all. There may already be a thread for this, but I, out of curiosity, would like to know if any other berries are adopting/have adopted. If so, from what country? [name_m]Reason[/name_m] for adopting? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you know when you will get custody (if you don’t already have it)? Did you keep their given name, or give them a different one? [name_m]How[/name_m] old were they? Did you adopt one child, or multiple? [name_m]Just[/name_m] whatever you feel like sharing
My husband and I are adopting from Nigeria. (technically non-Nigerian citizens cannot adopt, but thankfully we have been able to go through with it). We were planning on just adopting [name_m]Pascal[/name_m]; a boy, estimated age three. Two weeks ago, we were informed that he has a sister at the orphanage who is estimated 10 months, Mauryn. We made the decision to adopt her as well. We are almost positive we are changing Mauryn’s name, but to what, we do not know. [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] wants an “American” name, but we don’t know if we’ll put it in the middle spot or first. We don’t really like the name [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] (personal preference, no offence to anyone who does), but he’s three and he responds to his name so we feel like it could be cruel to change. Lots to think about. Anybody experienced that? Well, anyway, we fly out in Feb, and hopefully will bring them home in [name_u]March[/name_u]! We cannot wait! <3
We adopted our son at birth. He is now two years old. We have a domestic transracial open adoption, if you would like all of the labels. After our homestudy was complete, we waited three months to be placed with our son. We were not expecting things to move that quickly, it was a big surprise. We were thinking a year, maybe two. After he was placed with us, it took over a year for the adoption to be finalized even though it was uncontested and completely voluntary- it just takes a long time. Adoptions are not a priority for courts. Our son’s birthmother asked us to name him, so his name did not change. If she had wanted to name him, I think we would have kept it, though.
We had always planned to adopt “someday” and then we had difficulty conceiving, so it was a pretty easy decision to make. We adopted domestically for two main reasons:
We ideally wanted an open adoption, which we knew would be much easier if we adopted domestically. My husband’s grandmother was adopted back in the 1930s. She found her birthmom after she reached adulthood and we knew how important that connection was to her. She loved her parents as well, she just also really wanted her birthfamily in her life, which makes perfect sense to me. We love that we get to have an open adoption and we love our son’s birthfamily. Not all adoptions can be open, and we know wonderful families with happy well-adjusted kids who can’t have open adoptions. But for us, it was absolutely the right decision.
Because we understand the language, customs, and legal system of this country, so we felt like it was easier to ensure an ethical adoption. That is not to say that people cannot conduct adoptions ethically overseas, just that (as I am sure you already know) it is a lot of work to make sure that things are happening the way that they ought to.
I haven’t adopted but have always been curious about it. If you don’t mind me asking, if non-nigerian citizens legally can’t adopt, how are you getting around that?
I’m in the process of adopting a little girl from Eastern Europe (I’m not allowed to share her country until after the adoption is complete). I wasn’t planning on adopting right now but when I saw her picture online, I just knew she was meant to be my daughter. I’m not sure of when the adoption will be complete; I’m still working on getting my home study completed. I’m hoping that she will be home by next [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] though! She is 2. I am only adopting her, but I’d love to adopt two.
I know her birth name but I don’t think I’ll keep it because it’ll be constantly mispronounced in English. I will be using it as her middle name though!
I have a friend who was adopted internationally, although I’m not sure how old he was. His father wanted to make his son [name_m]John[/name_m] III or IIII or whatever it was to continue the family tradition, so he kept his birth name as his middle and went by his middle. So [name_m]John[/name_m] was rarely used but it was still there as a connection to his family traditions.
My husband was adopted at ten months and his name was changed - he’s totally happy with it as otherwise he’d have been the fifth [name_u]Michael[/name_u] in his school year.
Once we get a bigger house, I’d love to adopt. During a recent incident that had me thinking I’d be fostering some children (ended up not) I was looking through the adoption gallery and stumbled across a boy named [name_u]August[/name_u]. He’s 10 and he looks like he belongs in our family. He even looks like me and [name_u]Cody[/name_u]. He’s dark haired, dark eyed, sort of chubby like [name_u]Cody[/name_u] but he loves art and pizza and he wants a little sister O_O And I just felt this awful twinge inside and I talked to [name_u]Cody[/name_u] and he said no, not right now. Technically, we have the room right now, but he doesn’t think we have the money to take care of a 10 year old (despite my nagging about it :P) but every so often, I go look at his picture and secretly (even though it sounds awful) hope he stays around for another year or so so that we can be his parents because he just feels right.
Omg! We must live in the same state because I have also seen little [name_u]August[/name_u] on our photo listing and thought he sounded so delightful and precious. I hope you are able to adopt in the future!
I haven’t adopted, but certainly plan on it. I am always cruising around forums and reading all the stories.
I live in [name_m]Little[/name_m] [name_m]Rock[/name_m]. He’s precious and adorable and would fit in with out family SO much. I had to go look at him and show my husband. [name_u]Cody[/name_u] said he agreed, he looks like us and sounds perfect, but we can’t get a loan from the bank for a house until next month (not so long away!) and then we’re moving upstate at some point ([name_m]Clinton[/name_m]) to be around more nature and trees and stuff. We’ll have a bigger house then, with more space, and he said then we can start working on adoption. I hope he’s still there for us (even though that sounds selfish and bad )
That’s crazy! I live about two hours west of [name_m]Little[/name_m] [name_m]Rock[/name_m] and attend [name_m]ATU[/name_m]. What a small world! I also plan on moving up north, but I have my eye on Eureka Springs. [name_m]Clinton[/name_m] has too many tornadoes for me. o_o
I often look at that photo listing and I know that there sadly isn’t much change to the list. Hopefully if he’s the perfect match for you, things will time out. He seems like a lovely little guy.
If you are serious, you might want to start the process now. It takes a LOOONG time to adopt through the state. There is training and a thorough homestudy to go through. The classes alone take several months to complete in my state.
He would be placed with you in a preadoptive foster placement first. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if he is completely legally free to be adopted, you still have to foster him for a number of months under social worker supervision so that they can make sure it is a good match on both sides. You would be given a fostering subsidy during this period of time (which would help with the costs of raising a ten year old) and that might continue after the adoption depending on your particular state’s regulations.
Children adopted through social services are also eligible for Medicaid until age 18, so that might help. Many states offer free tuition to state colleges to children adopted through the state as well.
Anyhow, if you can get your husband to agree, I would at least make an inquiry.
@alwaysben – I have a friend who goes to [name_m]ATU[/name_m]. I’m originally from [name_m]Clinton[/name_m] so it’s all normal for me. Where we live in [name_m]Little[/name_m] [name_m]Rock[/name_m] is like, the road all the tornadoes take to go through this city. I love Eureka Springs! Turpentine Creek is something we’ve done several times. And yes, there’s not a lot of change and it’s really sad. There’s a few new 17 year old girls I think right now.
@ [name_f]Taryn[/name_f] – I’ve looked into it. There’s a lot of classes and the like to go through, but since we’re planning on moving within the next month, there doesn’t seem to be a point getting started down here. [name_u]Cody[/name_u] wants to wait until we get moved up north and into a house where he’d have his own room (right now, he’d be sharing with the baby and while that’s allowed and he has enough space, we don’t like it) and we could be taking classes up there. So, he wants to wait a month or two.
@dantea
Was wondering where you found the page for adoptable children in your state/province. I have always wanted to adopt and in a few years would seriously consider it, but have no idea where/how to find available kid…
Well, for me, there’s a link on our local Department of Human Services site. But then there’s other places to. For you, try this place – Adoption | Alberta.ca
And if that’s not right, you can just google “adoptable kids in [name_f]Canada[/name_f]” and should help you.
For Americans, www.adoptuskids.org is a good site if you’re looking to do a domestic adoption.
www.rainbowkids.com and www.reecesrainbow.com are two good sites for finding a child in need of a family from anywhere else in the world. I found my daughter on RR.
@anniemarie
I just reread what I wrote and realized how I sounded like we were doing something illegal 0.0 whoops. We are doing everything completely legally. The law about citizenship is not always used. We also have connections there, my DH lived there with his family as a teen for a few years and made life-long friendships, and still makes occasional trips there. That gives us a good reputation there. We also have a desire for our kids to be involved in Nigerian culture and still visit the country which is a big part of why they want only Nigerians adopting there.
Does that make any sense? Seriously let me know if it doesn’t because I can’t think right now, I’ve been up for nearly 48 hours with sick kids.
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