Adoptive mama with names swirling around in her head!

Girl Names
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I’m adopting from Ethiopia and will probably not have a “match” to my child for another year or so. Still- once you get your match- you pretty much immediately name your child (if you’re choosing to rename) so I want to have a list of 3 or 4 names that I just love love love so when I see her I can decide what fits her best. I’m ahead of the game for sure- but let’s face- after years of naming imaginary babies- getting to name a real baby is so exciting that I can’t help but dive right now. So far the front runner has been Ruthie- when I think of her I think of her as Ruthie.

I’ve narrowed it down to the following so far and would love love love your opinions! :slight_smile:

Top 3

Ruth
Pros: Traditional biblical name and considering Ethiopia is very Christian (and Ruth is very popular there for a name) I think this would be a great mix between American and Ethiopian. Also love nn Ruthie. I also love that it’s well known and old fashioned- but rarely used.
Cons: Ruth itself I don’t love- but I’m not a fan of naming a child a name like Ruthie itself. I like a traditional first name with a more fun middle name. Last name is Bell. Ruth Bell. Eh…

Lucille
Pros: Lucille is in my family tree and I love love love the nickname Lucy. I would also consider just doing Lucy- but I tend to be a fan of “Sunday Names”.
Cons: Lucy is the most common out of my favorites I think. Also, my last name is Bell and would make her name sound almost identical to Lucille Ball :wink: Lucille Bell. I was so excited when I fell in love with Lucy and then saw Lucille in my family tree- but then realized with my last name it sounds funny. Thoughts? Also I don’t like any of the other full names for Lucy :frowning:
Could be a Pro- could be a Con: Lucy, the neanderthal, was found in Ethiopia in the middle of the century. Cool to name her Lucy because it’s something Ethiopians are very proud of- the start of civilization! Weird to name her Lucy since it’s kind of like naming her after a half human / half ape. Thoughts on this? Cool side note- the scientists named the neanderthal Lucy because they were listening to the Beatles song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds when they found her.

Rosalie
Pros: I love that it’s old fashioned and yet the most rare out of all of my names. Rosie is too cute too.
Cons: The twilight reference.

Bottom 3 (currently at least)

Henrietta
Pros: I love that it’s classic but rare- and I think Henny/Hennie is adorable. Reminds me of the childhood book All of a Kind Family.
Cons: No real cons- just not sure how I feel about it completely.

Vivienne
Pros: What’s not to love? Great full name that is recognizable, traditional, but rare- and Vivi is too cute.
Cons: My friend tells me she knows a bunch of baby Vivienne’s (altho I work with babies for a living and haven’t met one yet!) and also since I’m adopting from Ethiopia just like Angelina Jolie did- I worry about the Jolie-Pitt connection. Silly?

Margaret
Pros: I’ve always loved this very simple classic name. It’s more in line with what I always thought I would name my daughter- something extremely common and classic.
Cons: I love the nn Mamie- but feel like it’s more of a “family only” nickname and wouldn’t work for all around life? And I worry then she would never have a nickname (and i’m a nickname person since I grew up without one) or it would end up being Maggie which I don’t love.

Oh and I’ll be using her Ethiopian name (either given to her by her mother- or by the government) as her middle name unless I truly love it and decide to use it as her first name. For the most part tho- I want her to have an American name. This is a personal decision for each adoptive parent- so I just ask that you respect my choice on this! :slight_smile:

Feedback so so wanted and appreciated!!!

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First off, I’d just like to say that you are an amazing person, truly. I’ve always wanted to adopt but after finding out we are expecting twins, I don’t know if that will be in our mix any longer.

As for the names:

[name_f]Ruth[/name_f]- I do agree that [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] is super sweet and I understand what you mean about how [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] is better off as a nickname. [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] isn’t awful, honestly I don’t know if it were to be my first choice but it’s not bad.
[name_f]Lucille[/name_f]- Stunning, beautiful. So cute, I knew of the neanderthal [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], however I did not remember that she was found in Ethiopia. I don’t think the [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] connection would be too much of a big deal. I’m not sure about where you live, however I know where we live now and where I grew up, we didn’t learn much about [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]. We learned the basics in one year’s science class and that was it. I think [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u]/[name_f]Lucy[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] is super adorable! (and in reference to the [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] Ball/[name_u]Bell[/name_u], as sad as it is, I don’t think many children her age would understand the reference so I think it’d be okay)
[name_f]Rosalie[/name_f]- [name_f]My[/name_f] niece is a HUGE Twilight fan so that’s usually what I think of. I do like “[name_f]Rose[/name_f]/[name_f]Rosa[/name_f]” names though

[name_f]Henrietta[/name_f]- I like [name_m]Henry[/name_m], but could never get behind [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f]. It may be a bit much as a full name for a child, but there are a lot of cute nickname opportunities!
[name_f]Vivienne[/name_f]- I tend to know a fair amount about celebrities (I get bored sometimes…no judging :wink: ) but I didn’t make the [name_f]Jolie[/name_f]-[name_m]Pitt[/name_m] connection. I don’t even remember the places where she has adopted from; I don’t think most people care about WHERE she/they have adopted from, just that they have done so. Also since [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] wasn’t the child that she adopted from Ethiopia I think that makes it a little better?
[name_f]Margaret[/name_f]- I’ve never liked this name. It’s not a bad name, it’s just not for me. If you don’t like [name_f]Maggie[/name_f]; maybe [name_f]Ettie[/name_f], [name_u]Ari[/name_u], [name_f]Margie[/name_f]?

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[name_f]My[/name_f] thoughts on [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] - on one hand I feel [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] would be “trying too hard” but on the other, I agree it’s pretty cool. Maybe [name_f]Lucilla[/name_f], or [name_f]Lucinda[/name_f]? I also like [name_f]Lupita[/name_f], which is similar in sound and can be found on an actress. With the neanderthal thing, it would be a negative for me, although not many people actually know about it. I only vaguely remember hearing about it, but her name was really the only thing that caught my attention. But if Ethiopians are actually proud of it, maybe it can be a plus.

[name_f]Ruth[/name_f] and [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] are really not my style, so I won’t comment further than that, but based on those two maybe you would a different variant of [name_f]Rose[/name_f], such as [name_f]Rosamund[/name_f] or [name_f]Rosetta[/name_f]. They work on such a wide range of people.

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Priceiswright- what a sweet note! :slight_smile: Thanks for saying that. You know honestly its the people out there adopting older children who are badly in need of adoption that I truly admire and think are heroes. I hope to do that one day myself :slight_smile: But as a single woman where this will be my first child- a baby was the better option for this particular adoption round. I know she will bless me so much more than I bless her- that’s for sure! A win win situation! Adoption is so stressful and yet the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done in my life- and i’m still early on in the process!

Thanks for all of your feedback. Very helpful. Interesting to know that people really do associate [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] with Twilight-altho probably not my generation at least? Most people I’ll meet on the playground will be around 30. It is such a fabulous name- so bummed about the Twilight thing. Good point about [name_f]Angelina[/name_f]- it is a different child- so probably a silly concern of mine. With the [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] thing I don’t think most people would realize that the neanderthal was found in Ethiopia- I would just know it in the back of my head.

Although like you said- cristinamariane- it IS something they’re very proud of (there’s even a museum dedicated to [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]!) and so in some ways maybe I could switch it around in my head so it was a really positive association. I just have a feeling it’s going to linger with me forever and ruin the name for me- which is so sad because it would be the clear favorite if not :frowning:

The only other [name_f]Rose[/name_f] name I like is [name_f]Rosemarie[/name_f] but for some reason it doesn’t feel right for this baby- I don’t think :frowning: Thank you for the feedback! Taking it all in!

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Yay for adoption!!! I ran over to your blog and got all teary over the room… good luck with the whole process! I love that you are documenting the whole story for her.

I would choose [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] or [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] from your list. I would not go with [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] or [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] for the cons you listed and I’m indifferent on [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f].

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Noooo it makes my heart jump a little to hear a no to [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]/[name_f]Lucille[/name_f]- hah! Proves to me that truly is my favorite- but favorite does not always win unfortunately :frowning: Great feedback tho- glad you’re a [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] fan because [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] and [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] have been my front runners so far. Oh and thanks for checking out the blog! I need to get updating it. I am going to Ethiopia for the first time for a humanitarian aid trip in 3 days and haven’t done any updates I’ve been so busy preparing!

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Nice to see your shortened list! These are just a few thoughts and points you hadn’t mentioned…

[name_f]Ruth[/name_f] - In theory this should be great for you, but you said yourself you didn’t love it, in which case it would be off the table for me. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think maybe you just like the idea more than the name? Could you use [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] as a second middle name?

[name_f]Lucille[/name_f] - [name_f]My[/name_f] first thought was the actress [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] Ball. I personally have never heard of the neanderthal, but the whole thing does make me feel slightly uncomfortable in regard to naming your Ethiopian daughter [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] - I know we disagreed on previous thread about what is culturally appropriate for a internationally adoptive child etc. so I won’t divulge unless you’d like me to, and I totally respect that she’s your child not mine! Since you really love [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] I don’t think it’s a big deal.

[name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] - [name_f]My[/name_f] personal favourite, I love nn [name_f]Rosie[/name_f]. I think the Twilight thing has pretty much died down now, honestly so don’t worry!

[name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] - Beautiful but a bit ‘‘much’’ in my opinion. I don’t know, it feels out of place with your other choices. [name_f]Hennie[/name_f] is cute - have you thought about [name_f]Harriet[/name_f]? It feels a bit more up to date (and [name_f]Hattie[/name_f] is adorable!)

[name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] - Hmm… this is getting popular. I guess it’s your call though, everyone has their own definition of ‘too popular’. I think it’s beautiful.

[name_f]Margaret[/name_f] - She could do by [name_f]Maisie[/name_f]/[name_f]Mae[/name_f]/[name_f]Greta[/name_f]/[name_f]Margo[/name_f]/[name_f]Meg[/name_f]… there are loads of other alternatives if [name_f]Mamie[/name_f] or [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] aren’t for you. I personally love [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] too.

For me, it would be [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] or [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]. I really wish you luck in the whole process :slight_smile:

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[name_m]How[/name_m] exciting!

I love [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] and [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] of your choices.

I prefer just [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] over [name_f]Lucille[/name_f], but if you love it you should go for it. [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] I enjoy but prefer it as a way to honor a [name_m]Henry[/name_m]. [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] is a solid choice, though I prefer [name_f]Marguerite[/name_f]. I have a very good friend named [name_f]Ruth[/name_f], however the name on its own seems blunt to me.

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[name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] is by far the best with your last name. It’s also my fave out of your picks. I would not let the Twilight thing spoil the name at all.

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Thanks! Getting closer and closer- altho who knows what will happen over the next year in terms of names!

I’ve spoken to some Ethiopian natives on Facebook who will be my guides in ET and I got their opinions on changing names vs. keeping Ethiopian. One of my favorite guides told me this- " I think she will be made fun of if you give her an Ethiopian name haha" . Now of course just one person’s opinion- and I quote it lightheartedly- but it helped reassure me that even the Ethiopians- at least some- think its reasonable to rename a child based on the country they’ll be growing up in vs. were born in. So yes still feeling strongly about going with a more Americanized name- feeling very good about that approach :slight_smile:

Also here’s the list of girls name in ET and personally… I have to say… I can’t find many I even like at all!
http://www.aacasa.org.au/images/MicrosoftWord-girlsnames.pdf

You’ll notice tho that Hirut and Hiwot are both variations of [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] in ET and also [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] is a common given name. One of my Ethiopian guides on FB told me that common girls names in Ethiopia are [name_f]Sara[/name_f], [name_f]Ruth[/name_f], and [name_f]Betty[/name_f].

So I love [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] for the connection to Ethiopia and I just love love love [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f]- head over heels for it. It’s just [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] itself that wouldn’t have been my pick if it weren’t for these two reasons. If she was [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] tho- I think in school and everything I would have her go by [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] everywhere more or less.

Agreed about what you’re all saying about [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] being a bit much. I think that was what I didn’t like about [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] and couldn’t put my finger on it. Too bad because I think [name_f]Henny[/name_f] is too freaking cute.

With [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]- I loooooove the nickname [name_f]Mamie[/name_f]- I just think its different than [name_f]Ruth[/name_f]/[name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] where as I think she would be [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] most of the time in life and [name_f]Mamie[/name_f] just by close family. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Best friends daughter is [name_f]Greta[/name_f] btw- so altho I don’t think she would care- I couldn’t use [name_f]Greta[/name_f] as a nn :frowning: Plus too [name_m]German[/name_m] I think!

[name_f]Glad[/name_f] to hear you think [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] is not too connected to Twilight anymore- it seems to be my family’s favorite pick so far.

Thanks for the feedback! :slight_smile: [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] is still such a front runner- but so torn on if the [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] neanderthal thing is a positive or a negative to the name… or if I could at least spin it into a positive. Anyone wanna convince me??? :stuck_out_tongue:

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Thanks! Totally agree- [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] sounds the best. Because I’m single- I’m trying not to put too much into the last name tho since it may eventually change!

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Thanks for the feedback! Everyone seems to be liking different names- so confusing hah! :slight_smile: I love [name_f]Marguerite[/name_f] and if she was coming from a [name_m]French[/name_m] speaking African country as many of them are- I’d definitely consider it- but it just screams france to me (even tho I know some of my other choices are french too!)

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Personally, I love the sound of [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u]. Its easy to read, easy to say, easy to remember, but most of all unique when worn by a 2000s baby. [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] is an adorable nickname, but I really think [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] can work as a first name, too. It puts a more modern, youthful twist on an older name. I prefer [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] over [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u]. This name is very good because its not only American, but common in Ethiopia.

I also really love [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f], and honestly most people aren’t going to connect it to Twilight; its a name that’s been around for centuries. Its too classic to be “ruined” by a popular modern book/movie series. [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is a beautiful name that ages gracefully, too. [name_f]Rosie[/name_f] is adorable; I love it. [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u], [name_f]Rose[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u], [name_f]Rosie[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u]–they all sound/look great!

As for the others:

[name_f]Lucille[/name_f]- The only pro I can see for this name is the nickname [name_u]Lou[/name_u]. [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] sounds awkward, especially due to the LL’s being so close together. [name_u]Lou[/name_u] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] is cute, almost like [name_f]Lulu[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] but that may not be a pro for you. [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] is nice, but [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] is a very common name now.

[name_f]Margaret[/name_f]- I personally like this name, especially the meaning. [name_f]Margo[/name_f]/t is a name I prefer over [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], as its classic yet unexpected, youthful and unique. I picture an artist, musician, funny, and/or smart girl wearing the name [name_f]Margo[/name_f]/t. Now as for [name_f]Mamie[/name_f], I think it has a great sound; its really cute and youthful, unique. It also tips its hat to many influential people (search [name_f]Mamie[/name_f] here and see Famous People and Pop Culture References). BUT it may be problematic because of the Mammy archetype (a stereotype of a black woman, depicted as rotund, homely, and matronly), which I have heard outside of Nameberry. [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] or [name_f]Margo[/name_f]/t is just fine but [name_f]Mamie[/name_f] needs to be thought over thoroughly.

[name_f]Henrietta[/name_f]- I think this is a cute name, I’ve liked it for some time. Personally, though, I feel its a better middle name than first. [name_m]Henri[/name_m], [name_f]Hennie[/name_f], [name_f]Hettie[/name_f], and [name_f]Ettie[/name_f] are all cute nicknames.

I understand your decision to go with an American name. Unfortunately there is prejudice and discrimination in this world, and when teachers, peers, or employers look at a name they can pre-judge someone just by seeing their name, gender, etc on a piece of paper. By giving your child an American name, it can help her bypass/avoid some of these obstacles. But at the same time, I think its really important to incorporate her culture/where she’s from in who she is, because it is who she is! I like that you took that into consideration, whether you pick a name like [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] as her first name, or keep her birth name/another Ethiopian name as the middle. Assimilation helps people navigate their worlds, but at the same time we should never forget or be made to feel ashamed of where we come from.

Good luck with your adoption journey!

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Wonderfully helpful post liviajoan! Thank you SO much. So much to ponder- you really reflected on the names so well. We will definitely be keeping her Ethiopian culture as a huge part of her life- not just her middle name. Looking forward to getting together with other parents of Ethiopian adopted children in my state, traveling back to Ethiopia when she’s a bit older to visit, and decorating our home with Ethiopian art. It’s something I feel very strongly about. Currently reading a book about the whole history of Ethiopia so one day I can tell my daughter all about it :slight_smile:

You nailed my concern about [name_f]Mamie[/name_f]. I’m glad you mentioned it. It was a legit concern of mine as much as I think the name is adorable.

Your enthusiasm for [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] makes me love it more and more. It just seems to be the name that sticks with me over and over again- in part due to it having such a rich history in many countries, the bible, and in Ethiopia itself.

Thank you again!

15

I read a bit of your blog last week. :slight_smile: I love seeing another adoptive mama on here. Another single one at that! Yay!

[name_f]Ruth[/name_f] - [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] is lovely but I agree that it doesn’t sound good with your surname.

[name_f]Lucille[/name_f] - Other than their sort of similar endings, I don’t see any problems with [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u]. There’s also [name_f]Lucilla[/name_f] and [name_f]Lucinda[/name_f], if you’re interested in either one of those. [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] is lovely. I wouldn’t worry about the [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] the neanderthal thing. I doubt most people would even pick up on it.

[name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] - Such a pretty name! It’d be on my list if my mom didn’t have a dog named [name_f]Rosie[/name_f]! I don’t think the Twilight reference is too strong. Besides that, in a few years, Twilight will have nearly disappeared (I hope at least).

[name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] - It’s pretty in theory but something is missing compared to the rest of the names on your list.

[name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] - I wouldn’t worry about the [name_f]Jolie[/name_f]-[name_m]Pitt[/name_m] connection. This is my least favorite from your list.

[name_f]Margaret[/name_f] - This is one of my favorite names! I love that it has so many options for nicknames. [name_f]My[/name_f] personal favorite is [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] but there’s also [name_f]Margot[/name_f], [name_f]Greta[/name_f], [name_f]Mae[/name_f], and [name_f]Maisie[/name_f]. You could always use [name_f]Mamie[/name_f] at home and choose another nickname for when she’s at school/out in public.

This is what I’m doing with my daughter as well. It’s a bit different for me because I already know her name but I find her name to be lovely but know it would get mispronounced all of the time so I’m leaving it as her middle name.

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I love [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] and [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f]!! I really love [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], but I can’t get behind [name_f]Lucille[/name_f].

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I know someone called [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] here in [name_f]England[/name_f] and I think it really works. She also goes by [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] sometimes. The name is beautiful and I think the fact that it is a [name_m]Christian[/name_m] name would lovely given her heritage. The name has a gorgeous meaning and I love the bible story, in which [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] is referred to ‘a woman of noble character’. Good luck choosing! I also like [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], there are lots of nn’s you could use here too my favourite being [name_f]Pearl[/name_f].

18

I have a friend [name_f]Marguerite[/name_f] and we live in the US. She is definitely not [name_m]French[/name_m], but everyone I know has always LOVED her name. It is traditional but with a sassy twist!

I wouldn’t do Lucy both because of the Neanderthal (I don’t think I would want to be named after one so I am basing my opinion on that) and because of Lucille Ball. I think enough time has passed that just Lucille wouldn’t make people go to I Love Lucy but the two together is a bit much. Lucinda really has grown on me lately. Are there any other “light” names that you are open too? I think there is a blog post on the category actually.

19

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] there, I am impressed by your articulate post.

I knew a girl named [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] and I think it is a really good name. I can also see the benefits of giving your daughter the name [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] seeing as it is one well loved in her society. I would really go with [name_f]Ruth[/name_f].

I had an amazing grandmother named [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] so this name stands high in my estimation. She was a charismatic, strong woman and even now I miss her. No one would have considered calling her [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] because she just wasn’t a [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] but that is up to you.

All the other names are great choices but [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] is not a name I love.

[name_f]My[/name_f] sis’s middle name is [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] and she was named after [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] Ball and I think that is really cute but agree that in this generation [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] Ball will be [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] Who?

If you love [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] then go with just [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], I think it is a high energy, likeable name that really never goes out of fashion and to tell the truth I have only ever met one [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] so even though there may be a lot of Lucys they probably aren’t all gathered around your area.

[name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] and [name_f]Vivienne[/name_f] have style and flair but [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] is a little too much for my liking, at a push I could go for just [name_f]Etta[/name_f] but it would not be a first choice.

I think it would be nice for her to have a virtue middle name like [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] [name_f]Verity[/name_f] [name_u]Bell[/name_u] because I understand that virtue and word names like [name_f]Patience[/name_f] are popular in some cultures (not sure about Ethiopia though).

rollo

20

People still know [name_f]Lucille[/name_f] Ball. They just made a movie about [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] and [name_u]Desi[/name_u].