My first name is [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] (which I know is on-trend at the moment and adored by many) but I went through a lot of teasing for it as a child and I still get the odd “Wheres [name_m]Romeo[/name_m]?!” or balcony scene quoting, or other comments, quite often even now as an adult, and I can’t stand the constant association any more.
I’ve been wanting to change my name legally since I was a little girl (this is what made me a name nerd) and I very nearly did it at two different “life-events” - before I went to college and before I moved the first time after college. But both times I couldn’t decide what name I should use instead! I also always doubted myself about changing it because [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] is just so popular and “beautiful” - I always worried that someday I would finally realize why everyone loves [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] and regret throwing it away.
But at this point I’m done dragging this moniker and all its dramatic baggage around. I decided a long while ago that I would 100% be changing it the next time I move… but that is suddenly happening sooner than expected (DH just got a new job in a different state) and we are moving NEXT MONTH. We will likely live there permanently, so I feel this is probably the last opportunity I’ll get to make a fresh start with a different name.
Once again I don’t feel ready =( For the past few weeks I have been flitting back and forth among some of my long time favorite names, worried that 10, 20, 30 years from now I may look back and regret picking the wrong one.
At this point I think my two options are:
just pick a name I think I love and deal with it for years to come
go by [name_f]Juliana[/name_f] (although I really don’t care for any of the [name_u]Juli[/name_u]- names) until I feel more certain about which name and then change it - passing up this perfect moving-across-the-country clean slate
Any advice?
From anyone who has changed their name -
Did you ever regret not picking a different name?
[name_m]How[/name_m] and when did you know the name you picked was THE ONE?
[name_m]Ah[/name_m], I get your dilemma. [name_f]Juliette[/name_f] is one of my top choices for a girl and if someday I actually have a daughter called that, I hope she’ll love it -but since it’s basically the same name, I understand the worry about its teasing potential.
What about your middle name? [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] is very lovely. Or any nicknames, maybe? What other names do you love for yourself? I say try it for a bit before making it legal.
I didn’t change my name. My birth name is [name_f]Cynthia[/name_f] and it’ll likely to stay that way. I do, however, go by a different name quite often. Both suits me well and IF I ever have to go through a name change one day, it’ll definitely be [name_f]Luna[/name_f]. [name_m]How[/name_m] do I know it’s the one? Because it suits me extremely well. It suits my personality and I feel like I can answer to it naturally (bonus because it’s actually related to my birth name, but this isn’t mandatory). I think that’s the key: feeling natural when answering to it or introducing yourself by that name. As much as I love [name_f]Juliette[/name_f], for example, it doesn’t feel like me (hence I only hope it’ll suit a future daughter of mine :p), but [name_f]Luna[/name_f] does. When did I know? I am not sure. Months after trying it, I guess. It was started merely as a pseudo but then it just sicks.
I changed my last name and never regretted that. I also thought about changing my first name, but couldn’t find a name I wanted to change it to. I had many of the feelings and thoughts you’re describing.
In the end, I decided my name was my name, even if I loved other names out there. I’m glad I kept it!! I love my name now. It’s uncommon and so there was much teasing as a child, but now that I’m an adult I only get complimented on my name.
If [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] is your middle name, would that be an option? [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] is also one of my favorite names ever.
[name_f]Juliet[/name_f] btw, I recently met a [name_f]Juliette[/name_f] and never had any kind of [name_m]Shakespeare[/name_m] associations. [name_m]Just[/name_m] a beautiful name imo!
Regarding my middle name [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] - I love it and would definitely use it ([name_f]Aurora[/name_f]/[name_u]Rory[/name_u] is actually what I almost changed it to last time) but I unfortunately have difficulty pronouncing [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] and [name_u]Rory[/name_u], so I’ll have to keep it in the middle.
@luneth - Thanks, that was helpful to hear your experience with [name_f]Luna[/name_f]. I think you hit the nail on the head about feeling natural when introducing yourself or answering to a name! I realize now that’s subconsciously been my #1 criteria when trying to find the name I “love the most.”
@vc2013 - I also never regretted changing my last name. I’m glad you ended up loving your name! Yes, being an adult is much better when it comes to having a “different” name. One of the names I’ve always loved and was considering happens to be [name_f]Ana[/name_f]ïs… which I’m also glad I didn’t have to deal with as a child :rolleyes:
2nd Hand Advice.
Be as sure you can you won’t regret losing a really beautiful name.
Think of people you admire naming their daughter [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] (or [name_f]Juliette[/name_f] -would the spelling make a difference?) Thinking of the name paired with an attractive surname can be so alluring.
A lovely woman you admire being named [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] –thinking what a beautiful name and learning to cope better with the inane comments.
Ok, so if you are sure you want change. You will get a feeling about a name mostly from the way you react when someone calls you that name. It will just feel good. A little tentative at worst but you will feel calmer.
You have to have letters, phone calls, whatever at your disposal to get the name fed back to you.
Try really hard not to overthink it yourself. [name_m]Just[/name_m] wait for chances to react.
Sorry this answer is a little late -or if it’s of no help…
I asked the advice of [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f] and [name_f]Cressida[/name_f] seriously- who both go through days when they use ‘other’ names. But the joy they get when they hear their names in a good way is worth it.
One friend who just had a very popular name and hated all obligatory nicknames, changed it –and the opportunity to do it, says (life change times are incredibly helpful.) She reduced it to a small number of names and drew them out of a hat, literally, until she got a feeling for the right one when it came out. (Tested it a lot) It worked a treat and took two years before she changed it to her legal first name but it was more about regulations than doubts. She says you will just know- but you have to get the right name.
Consensus of opinion of all the ladies was that those who kept their problem names just knew the ‘other names’ were not right and the one who changed, and all people she talked to that helped her said that - it was just an awful feeling day in and out. The new name did not bring so much life changing feelings, no highs. The dominant feeling was relief, calmness and comfort.
Opinions from friends…
All the very best.
@thejonesgirl - Ha thanks for doing some surveys for me!! I like what you’ve noted about the feelings - I do have the awful feeling day in and out about my current name (have for most of my life) and I’m thinking now even the smallish change to a different [name_u]Juli[/name_u]- variation would definitely bring that calmness and relief… maybe I don’t need to change to something completely different after all. Good points to think about, thanks.
seriously- who both go through days when they use ‘other’ names. But the joy they get when they hear their names in a good way is worth it.