Hello all! I just wanted to make a forum for teen mothers. I was one myself and so was my aunt. I have recently been talking to a teen mother giving her advice and I would like to extend that invitation to all of young mothers out on Nameberry. And please if you are not a teen mother or if you are not expecting don’t lie. I will take my time to answer everyone’s questions individually and I would appreciate it if my time was not going to waste on a fake teen parent. And if you are not a teen mother please do not give advice to others because they need help from people who have experienced first hand. Please be honest about your situation. Also I am not here to judge I am here to help. And most others I am sure are here to do the same thing. [name]Just[/name] want to give some support that I know I needed when I went through it myself.
[name]Hi[/name] there, nice to see another teen mom on nameberry!
I’m [name]Lucy[/name], I just turned 22 and my daughter [name]Elena[/name] is 4.5 years old. I wasn’t the youngest of teen moms by any means, I was 17 when she was conceived and 18 when she was born. Although it was a struggle for me, I had fantastic support from her daddy (my now DH) and our families and we both were able to stay in school and go to college.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, wow, twins! That must be so exciting. [name]How[/name] does your older son feel about it?
I do have a few worries though. I worry about the day she’ll ask how she came about - she most definitely wasn’t planned (though very much wanted and loved, I’m sure you understand.) I worry that she’ll feel as though she was a mistake or something, especially cause the baby I’m carrying now was actively tried for. [name]How[/name] should I approach the subject, when it comes up? I’m sorry if I’m asking too many questions, its just that I don’t know anyone else who has been in my position, none of my friends have children and I don’t know any other teen mothers!
[name]Hi[/name]! I think this is a great idea:) my son is now 3 and a half, but like the previous poster, I was 17 when I got pregnant and 18 when he was born. I am (thanfully) now happily married to his father. But one question I have always wanted to ask someone who had a child young, and is now atwhat is considered normal childbearing age is this: sometimes I feel as though my son is judged because of me. Before people even talk to my little man or myself for that matter, I feel as though they always assume he is badly behaved, or not as intelligent as other kids.when my three yr old throws a fit in public, i always get dirty looks and sideways glances and eye rolls. Whereas a 30 yr ol mother whose child does the same thing gets no mean stares. I even had somone ask me, “how does it feel to be a young single mom?” My response was," i oulnt know. Im happily married to my sons father" but this judgement really irritates me. Especially hen people judge my son ( as he has no responsibilty or th fact that i had him young) have you found this to be true for yourself as well?And if so, how did you handle it?
I know you want to get feedback from the teenage mothers but as a grandmother I just wanted to make a generalisation about life. People are always judging each other and it can be hurtful. I am a sensitive person so I understand how you must feel but I think the best way to deal with Life is to develop a thick skin and not let the looks, stares, jibes etc get under your guard. You know who you are, so refuse to let these people undermine you, stand tall because you know that not only are you a good person, you are a good mother too.
Thanks for that advice, [name]Rollo[/name]. I appreciate it. I know that sometimes its easier to give in and let other people opinions have impact on our lives, but there’s more to life than what other people think of you.
I guess, now that I think about it, people can only “get to me”, if I let them, if that makes sense?
Thank you, rollo! You are so right. People will judge, and I need to just be confident enough in myself as an individual and as a mother, and let their opinions roll right off. I just find it odd that my grandmother was married by 18 and had her first children by 19 ( as did many of her peers) and no one batted am eyelash. Now, 60 years later, the majority of people seem o have forgotten this fact, and assume that all young mothers are incappable of properly caring for their children. I think as a society, we need to be less judgemntal of how others live their lives and focus instead on thirty character.
[name]Glad[/name] my thoughts were helpful.
Let me tell you once we reach 60 we are truly ready to sit home with our husbands and smell the roses rather than having to look after the kids. Maybe having children earlier in life will become the norm once again?
@[name]Lucy[/name]: [name]Jack[/name] is really the most amazing person I know. I really don’t know how he does it. I have a 3 yo and a 2 yo and [name]Jack[/name] is the best big brother. They adore him. He once told me he liked the 15 1/2 year differences because he remembers everything about [name]Sam[/name] and [name]Luke[/name] as babies. He gets to see them grow up.
As for explaining to [name]Jackson[/name] his story, he knows he was in no way planned. I was 16, almost 17. I tell him bluntly that I was scared and didn’t know what to do. His father and I are not together unfortunately. But [name]Jack[/name] knows that he is loved and we are very close. It is crazy to think that the age difference between [name]Jack[/name] and I is only about 7 months more then [name]Jack[/name] and [name]Sam[/name]'s age difference. I’m sure [name]Elena[/name] and you will have a bond that is very tight and I don’t think she will think there is anything negative about her situation at all.
PS- I’m expecting an [name]Elena[/name] [name]Rue[/name] on the 1st! [name]Love[/name] the name. [name]Do[/name] you call her [name]Laney[/name]?
I also hate the stereotypes and judgments people put on teen mothers. You will have to deal with those for the rest of your life. I go to get my son from something and people question me and make comments because I’m only 32 with a college freshman. My best advice is smile and say “Yes, I am young thank you very much but I am a great mother.” Because you are, age in motherhood is really not important, it’s all about your maturity level. And truthfully if a 30 yo women comments on your age she is obviously not all that mature.*
And [name]Jackson[/name] was on honor roll, played football and lacrosse and is now going to a college with a 3.78 GPA age average. He is in no one less intelligent because he is the son of a young mother.*
And I applaud anyone who was able to stay with their baby’s father. I wish that [name]Jackson[/name]'s father and I had been able to stay together. We are friends now and [name]John[/name] sees [name]Jackson[/name] on a regular basis and is paying for his college, he has always helped financially. But it wa still very difficult.*
I really wish some people would have more open minds. Judging a mother because of her age really is very immature. And just because you had a child at a young age does not make you a “slut.” I have only been with 2 men my entire life which is alot less then many other women I know.*
I hope I can help and [name]Lucy[/name] if you ever need some advice or anything just message me and I’ll be glad to help.*
36* Sorry, typing on an iPhone is not the easiest. and I don’t know why there are asterisks in my first paragraph…
I found this online…I wanted to find somewhere that can help me!
I got pregnant at 16 and just had my daughter [name]Arianna[/name] four months ago. I’m 17 now. I’m still with her dad but he’s gonna be 19 and just recently got sent to a base in [name]Arizona[/name] after basic training. It’s hard trying to go to school and have my daughter at the same time, I don’t like leaving her with random people at daycare’s and my parent’s disowned me so I get no help from them. So right now I have no one. I’m just confused and my emotions are going crazy! I still have two years of school left. All i think about in school is how’s my daughter is she ok and things like that. I’m scared i’m gonna fail this year! People at school look at me funny and treat me different because they know i have a daugher… I know I wasn’t ready to be a mother this young but I matured a lot.
Would you like me to private message you? I think I will be able to help if we could talk one on one.
I’m not a teen mother, just a young teen, but I had a question for all the teen mothers – [name]How[/name] do you feel about TV shows such as Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant? [name]Do[/name] you feel they make the situation seem different than it actually is? [name]Do[/name] you think the shows have a positive or negative impact? [name]Just[/name] some questions if anyone wanted to answer.
You would think as a teen mom I would have strong opinions. But truthfully I can’t tell you. I have watched the show since the first 16 & Pregnant episodes. I think in the beginning when the girls weren’t making money it showed the lives pretty well, leaving out some of the bad stuff though. But now that they have teen mom and these girls are getting paid lots of money for nothing, it just makes the whole situations seem easier than it really is. I guess Teen Mom and and Teen Mom 2 show a luxurious version of teen parenthood that most teens parents don’t have and I can see where girls might be tricked to want to become pregnant to be like them. But the 16 & Pregnant girls usually start off with nothing and I don’t think that that particular show glorifies teen pregnancy. If I was a teen and saw how much those girls cried and how hard it was I do not think I would want to be a teen mother at all.
Does that make sense? Lol. Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2= Glorified because they make a lot of money off of those episodes so I don’t particularly like that show. 16 & Pregnant= [name]True[/name] stories because they don’t have the money the Teen Mom girls have.
I am in no way a teen mother; I’m a happily married man nearing my forty’s (eek!), but as a gay father, I have also seen my fair share of mean glances and judgmental faces. And I really want to echo what rollo said here. Age does not determine how loving, nurturing, amazing of a mother you can and will be. You will love your child, and what you need to do in face of those judgements, is simply stand by your kid, stand by your values, and know that you are doing the best you can, and that you are a great mom. Like rollo said, you can’t let it bother you. Haters are going to hate, and other women, other men, and other parents are always going to judge their fellow parents, no matter if you’re a young teen or a thirty-year-old woman in their play group. Others might not agree with certain parenting styles, disciplinary styles, naming styles, values you teach your children, or parenting choices that you make, no matter your age. Those types of parents will find any way to critique others. And you just have to center yourself, know what you find valuable, and just do your best. Ignore them, and focus your energy on raising your kid the way you want, and just being a fabulous parent.
Good luck you guys, and stay strong!
I’m not a mother but I am a teen and I like to think of nameberry as an online family and I have a younger sister your age, so I’m going to give you some sisterly advice. [name]Do[/name] you have anyone in your life that you can talk to, other family, boyfriends family, teachers or close friends? If you do I think you should start by talking to them. Secondly try not to worry about what others think of you, people (teenagers) will find things about anyone to make fun of, that unfortunately is part of school. I have just finished my last year of school in [name]June[/name] and I know how hard it is but I get the feeling that you are a smart, hardworking girl perhaps you could speak to your teacher about your worries and maybe they can help you. You said you worry about your daughter when she is not with you, I think every mother feels like this, could you arrange to call the daycare at lunchtime to ask her your daughter is, maybe this would calm some of your worries? I’m not sure if this advice will help you but I hope it does.
I don’t really have any advice, and I am sure that most of what I say will seem like a stupid rant. I am not a teen mother, but I was pregnant. I made the mistake of sharing my pregnancy with the wrong person and most of my year found out. The rumours and ( I hesitate to use this term) bullying are horrible, and I can empathise with knowing that people are talking about you. I miscarried my baby, nobody knew about that, they all just assumed I’d had an abortion, but the rumours kept coming. They made it harder to deal with having lost the baby, and I didnt cope well. I failed a semester of school, and lost a lot of friends. The only positive aspect of the situation was that I learnt to ignore what people say about me. As hard as that is, it is what you must do in order to cope with being at school.
I can not imahine how hard that must have been for you and I commend you for making it through and being strong enough to share that story with us. Thank you and I hope you are okay and in good physical and mental health.
Not as a teen mother, but as a friend to one all I can say is the worst thing you can do is leave your friend behind. She will need that trust, love and support more then anything and you can be one of the people to give it to her.
Honestly no, I have no one I can talk to other than my one teacher. He’s trying to help me but its hard. He’s the only teacher at my school I really trust. After I left school last year my friends quit talking to me so my closest friend was my boyfriend and he’s hundreds of miles from me right now. His family hates me for not making the “right choice” for my daughter. I"m not sure what they mean by that. At school I just usually ignore the nasty comments I get and try focusing on my school work which is near impossible. I got to school from 7:30 to 3:30. Then work for 4-8 or 4-10. I usually do call the daycare at lunch but that doesn’t stop my worrying.