Advice - Got bad reaction to the name I love :(

So I’ve decided on a name for our baby girl due in [name]May[/name]. I love it so much, but it is different and not in the top 1000 so I’ve been trying to prepare myself for peoples reactions to a name they probably have never heard. I told my mom and she took it better than some names I’ve liked in the past so that eased my worries a lil.

Today I told a friend of mine (because she continued to ask what it was) and of course she says she doesn’t like it and my daughter will be teased. My name is [name]Sheba[/name] so name teasing doesn’t phase me a bit nor is it a concern since most people have something to say about my name, like its the same name as their dog/cat but I still love my name. But she is now insisting on printing out a list of greek baby girl names ( i had mentioned that its greek like my first dd’s name ) and the meanings. She doesn’t understand that I’m a name freak and I’ve probably seen every freaking name she is going to write on that list.

I’m also afraid she is going to tell our mutual friends and they are all going to start trying to talk me out of it and its going to be so annoying! I discussed this with my husband and I was thinking maybe I should just say eh I changed my mind I like the name [name]Kaitlyn[/name] ( or another name they have probably heard before ) and just let it be a surprise once the baby is born. Or should I just deal with people trying to change my mind so at least they will be used to it once the baby is born. I really love the name and I have a tiny bit of name regret from my first dd (though her name suits her, I feel the other name I liked would have as well and is not as popular but I was swayed by bad reactions) and I wish I had never told my friend the name but I can’t go back in time! AHHH would lying about the name I’m picking be a bad decision??

It’s more helpful to be specific. No one likes their choices to be criticized, of course, but do you think your friend has a point? What is the name (you can tell us, we’ve seen them all)?

I second that; what is the name? You know we appreciate all kinds of names here!

It’s never good to have baby naming regret. No matter what it is, I say it’s always best to go with what you love! Friends and family will learn to like or at least accept the name once it’s on your baby girl :slight_smile:

Telling other people is so hazardous. I have remained tight-lipped to almost anyone I know in real life, about the names we are considering. I feel for you, though it might be the first step in developing a tough skin about what others say about the name. I do this with my mother mainly because we have always discussed names - she’s honest about what she likes and doesn’t like but I have practised not taking it to heart.

Your friends would probably use names that you wouldn’t dream of using, so comfort yourself with that :slight_smile:

[name]Just[/name] ignore her reaction, and let her know politely but firmly that the name is not up for disscussion. We got negative reactions to our name choice before our son was born, but we ignored them and went with what we loved. Today our son is 9 months old and we have NO regrets!

In some cases I think people will react the same whether it’s a name they have heard before or one they haven’t. For instance, the names they may like may not be your cup of tea.

I am not expecting, but like many others, I am trying to get a list together. I have ran a couple of names by my family and they immediately started teasing me because they were not “typical,” I suppose for our family. Who knows? [name]One[/name] of my nieces called, “[name]Sebastian[/name] -> Sebastard and [name]Theodore[/name] -> Theodork.” ([name]Theodore[/name] was also teased about [name]Alvin[/name] and the Chipmunks and was asked was I going to name my kids: [name]Calvin[/name] (another name I liked), [name]Simon[/name], and [name]Theodore[/name]. Ugh!) It hurt my feelings a little, but then again, I asked her what kind of names she liked and they were completely opposite of what like.

I suppose since I am still trying to get my name list together, the teasing is not that bad, since I have yet to find the “it” name. But I know if I love it, I would absolutely use it no matter what my family says. Either way they will get use to when the actual baby is born. If not, then who cares, you love and that’s what matters. She doesn’t have to be another [name]Charlotte[/name] or [name]Isabelle[/name]. I saw go for it. They are tons of names I have yet heard of it, but I am not close minded enough to dismiss every name that is unfamiliar to me.

When our DD was born we had a short list of names that no one had seen except us. Once we brought her home from the hospital my [name]MIL[/name] pressed us to get on with naming the baby, even though we enjoyed getting to know her first (we didn’t know the gender beforehand and she surprised us by being a girl, so all the names we had been really focused on were boys’ names). It came down to two choices, both were “off the beaten track”, but one was a little bit more out there. We told my [name]MIL[/name] our final two and we could tell she wasn’t sure about either, but she’s lovely and would never have said anything really hurtful. When we went with the out there choice, it seemed a perfect fit immediately and I couldn’t imagine changing it. My [name]MIL[/name] mentioned that people might have a difficult time with it, and I said that we could always consider a simpler, shorter nn if necessary (though neither DH and I are into nn). Her response? “If this is the name you chose and the name you love, you’ll just have to make people understand. [name]Don[/name]'t settle for a nn just because it’s easier on everyone else”. :smiley:

I’m so happy we went with a name we love, even though I’ve gotten a fair share of weird glances when I introduce her. I had even read a thread on Nameberry about the name shortly after we decided and most opinions even on here weren’t very complimentary, but I’m still glad we went with the name. It suits her and she couldn’t be anything else to us. :wink: Good luck!

  1. I have been in your shoes! We named our girl [name]Arrow[/name]. :slight_smile: Name I fell in love with & mom hated it. Now she’s ok with it, I think mainly because there’s a face attached to the name now. It was mixed reviews with the online folk that I don’t personally know. No one was able to create doubts in my mind & actually I think defending my name choice for my girl helped me to bond with her quicker. :slight_smile:

  2. I did have a dog named [name]Sheba[/name] & I barely remember her, I was so little. First time hearing it on a person, except for the [name]Queen[/name] of [name]Sheba[/name]…which is likely where my parents got the name for our dog. So it was a person name [name]WAY[/name] before it was a dog name! Yeah for [name]Sheba[/name]! :slight_smile:

  3. If you [name]LOVE[/name] your name choice, stick with it!! If you are seriously having second thoughts, OK. You got, what 4 months 'til you have to be sure on the name? [name]Just[/name] tell your friend that you & hubby want to keep the name secret 'til the birth. So if someone comes to you saying something about the name & you & hubby didn’t tell them, WELL you then have the right to tell of your “friend”! If you don’t want her giving you lists of names that SHE likes, be honest with her! [name]Honesty[/name] goes along way!

  4. GOOD [name]LUCK[/name]!!

You will not find a name that every one will like!!! But I know it isn’t easy to hear the name you love being trashed or bad mouthed, but by the end of the day, it’s your baby and you have to name it what you like. You aren’t naming your child to please others, remember that!

Yes, yes, yes, what laoidh said.

I hate it when we spill on a name and then are talked out of it. I wouldn’t advocate lying, though.

My two cents: [name]Don[/name]'t tell anyone else. Take the list of suggestions from your friend, tell her you’re considering other choices (by just reading her list you fulfill the barest truth to this, so no lying), ask her not to tell anyone else, and make public knowledge that the world will know her name when they meet her.

If you already feel regret over choosing a more “acceptable” name for your first DD, listen to your gut this time around. I’ve had bad reactions to people with the name I’m currently liking a lot. Who cares? Would you let them pick out your clothes, furniture, hairstyle, etc for you? This is a personal decision!

I wouldn’t be too worried about one bad reaction. Maybe if everyone I told was saying something negative, I’d consider rethinking it, but no name is going to get universal approval. If you’re sure you’ve found the “one” just politely tell your friend that your mind is made up, thank her for her concern and assure her that when she has a baby to name, you’ll refrain from harsh judgement. (Many people have a hard time differentiating between their own tastes and what they consider to be a bad name and what names would be genuinely problematic for the child.)

Someone is always going to take an exception to a name, come up with a way to tease, no matter what the name is. I chose an “outdated” name ([name]Jemima[/name]) for our second daughter, much to the shock of many friends and relatives. We didn’t find out what sex the baby was before birth, we went in with a boy name and a girl name. Several hours after our daughter was born, my husband made the phone calls to the grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Today (2.5 years later), no one can imagine calling her by another name. I’ve also noticed that it is older kids and adults who are most likely to make fun of names. For kids who grow up with a child, that is their name and they don’t think anything of it.

I agree with many of the posters below - telling people is so darn risky for so many reasons! We decided we weren’t going to tell anyone but it’s hard when people you love and are asking because they truly care, pepper you with questions (not to mention the excitement).

I caved and told my sister our lead boy name and had the same fun result as you. I scolded her, as big sister’s do, and told her how her reaction is one of the main reasons people are hesitant to share. She just blabbed what she thought without even giving it a second of thought. So from now on we’re trying to keep it as hush hush as possible, and If I cave again, I will explain to the person why I’m hesitant to share first - so that they are hesitant to open there mouths without consideration.

I’m not sure how I feel on the fake name bit. It could backfire in a few ways… perhaps you have a pregnant friend or family member that’s (secretly) in love with that name or one similar and they feel forced to find a new one completely unnecessarily ([name]One[/name] of my friends announced her baby girl’s name option early and therefore knocked off our number 1, if she were faking and we didn’t use our number 1 we wouldn’t be too happy!). Also, I know that if I released a name I would have some people going monogram crazy etc.

Maybe you should try the “We don’t want to end the name game fun too soon - we love talking about it between us so we’re just going to keep a private list until we meet him/her” - or something along those lines…?

Curiosity has the best of me… what’s the name??

I would be more concerned with how the name flows with the middle/last names, if it will likely be misspelled often, if the initials spell something awful, any obvious nicknames that would lead to teasing (this is not always possible to predict though), how the name ages, and sometimes if there are strong negative associations( ie. [name]Adolf[/name] = bad idea, but [name]Felix[/name] the cat = who cares), and things like that other than peoples taste for a given name. Everyone has different opinions.

Good call. My friend announced her baby’s name as soon as she found out she was having a girl. The gifts she got were very frequently monogrammed. Like I think everything that possibly could have the baby’s name on it does.

I don’t plan to tell anyone, even family what our name choices are when the time comes. However, if I really thought EVERYONE would hate the name, I’d reconsider my choice. I mostly just want to surprise people and don’t want to be swayed in my decision. I’m terribly indecisive anyway!!

It’s your kid. Name her what you want and if she decides she hates her name she can change it later. Besides, this is why nicknames exist; so we can be called what we want to be called. My best friend doesn’t like her name so she answers to [name]Kat[/name]. My name’s too long and fancy for constant use so I’m called [name]Vicki[/name].