Advice on changing my toddler's name

My son will be 2 in [name_f]May[/name_f]. When I was pregnant with him, my husband and I had a difficult time agreeing on a name. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband was hoping for a more meaningful first name like [name_m]Raul[/name_m] after my father who passed away. For whatever reason, I just didn’t like the sound of [name_m]Raul[/name_m] at the time. We settled on [name_u]Evan[/name_u] [name_m]Jesus[/name_m]. [name_u]Evan[/name_u], for young warrior, rock, and god is gracious, and [name_m]Jesus[/name_m] after his father, my husband.
We dealt with a big move to a new city, house hunt, etc., and through it all, the name [name_u]Evan[/name_u] just wouldn’t come naturally to me. He is always referred to as the baby, or “hermano” for brother. We live in [name_f]Miami[/name_f] now, and Hispanics have a difficult time pronouncing the name [name_u]Evan[/name_u]. Everytime, I introduce him to someone new, I cringe waiting to hear how his name will be butchered. I contemplated changing [name_u]Evan[/name_u]’s name to [name_m]Raul[/name_m] many times, but ultimately decided against it for fear of what others would say. I live in this constant state of regret for not naming my child after my father. Now, I am losing sleep again considering whether or not to change [name_u]Evan[/name_u] to [name_m]Raul[/name_m] and move [name_u]Evan[/name_u] to the middle name: [name_m]Raul[/name_m] [name_u]Evan[/name_u] Gonzalez. Thoughts?

1 Like

I’m not a parent (only 18) but I think if you really don’t like the name, it might be best to change it. Especially since he’s still young, he wouldn’t really remember too much of being [name_u]Evan[/name_u]. And it’s not like you’re getting rid of [name_u]Evan[/name_u], you still have it in the middle spot. Plus with the pronunciation issues in your community, it might be a constant thing you go through. I just worry that you’re gonna be in this state of regret for his whole life knowing you couldn’t changed it earlier to [name_m]Raul[/name_m] but didn’t.

4 Likes

Does he recognize himself as [name_u]Evan[/name_u]? [name_f]My[/name_f] two year olds already know who they are so I think they would be a bit confused if I were to change their name.

Having said that, I don’t see anything wrong with adding [name_m]Raul[/name_m] to his name, especially since it’s so meaningful to you and your family. You could add it as a first name or middle name and see how he responds. Maybe start out calling him both names like [name_u]Evan[/name_u] [name_m]Raul[/name_m] or [name_m]Raul[/name_m] [name_u]Evan[/name_u] until he gets used to it?
Also, he can choose which name he prefers to go by when he is older.

3 Likes

I’d try a name change out informally first at home and see how you feel about it and how your son and his siblings respond. Others will always have an opinion of course and you may have some people resisting a change so I would make sure that it’s working well at home first. [name_f]My[/name_f] aunt changed her first name to something she liked better and her siblings always call her by her old name, the one they grew up with. Obviously your situation is different since he’s so young but I understand your fear about changing it.

2 Likes

I think two is a little old to change his name, sorry. Could you add [name_m]Raul[/name_m] as a second middle and maybe call him [name_u]Evan[/name_u] [name_m]Raul[/name_m] to see how he feels about it?

1 Like

I know someone who called her baby [name_u]Baby[/name_u] (surname) until the kid was 2 or 3, because they couldn’t agree on a name. Have you been calling him [name_u]Evan[/name_u]? Does he respond to his name? Have you called him [name_m]Raul[/name_m] at all? I think it’s a bit hard this late. [name_f]My[/name_f] 3 year old son is VERY attached to his name. I joked once about changing it… he’d never let me. If it’s because Hispanics cannot pronounce it, how about [name_m]Ewan[/name_m]? That might be an easier change… [name_m]Ewan[/name_m] [name_m]Raul[/name_m] [name_m]Jesus[/name_m]?

This is my first question. If he’s over a year old, you’re stuck with [name_u]Evan[/name_u], sorry. :pensive:

1 Like

I think it would be a good idea to try calling him [name_m]Raul[/name_m] at home and see how it goes, if it doesn’t work out then at least you haven’t changed anything legally yet, and if it works well great! I’ve got to be honest and say I haven’t spent much time around young kids so I’m not really sure what a 2 year old’s awareness of this sort of thing is like but could you maybe ask him about it in a kid-friendly way? I can’t remember anything about when I was 2 so if you did change it then I think it would be okay in the long run, just maybe try it out at home before doing anything legal. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] you figure it out!

1 Like

I dont think it’s too late at all. [name_f]My[/name_f] friend has a daughter named [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] who she calls [name_f]Peggy[/name_f]. [name_f]Peggy[/name_f] is 4 and starting school next fall so they’ve started calling her [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] more. Sounds perfectly normal right? Well that’s basically changing [name_f]Peggy[/name_f]’s name imo. Only difference is [name_f]Peggy[/name_f] will still be a part of her life. So maybe [name_u]Evan[/name_u] can be the middle name so he hears it once in awhile down the line?

If you really want to change his name to [name_m]Raúl[/name_m], and he has no problem with this, I think better soon than never. If you want to try something closer to [name_u]Evan[/name_u], however, how about Iván?

As a Hispanic person, Iván is way easier to pronounce and you don’t necessarily have to change the spelling of his legal name imo (As in you could pronounce it “Ivan” and still spell it with an E). I think something similar to the name he already has would make an easier transition. Good luck!

4 Likes

This is exactly what I was going to say! I wish you luck!

2 Likes

My youngest had an 9 month old check up yesterday. One of the questions I was asked was if he knows his name yet… I think at age two personally changing his name should be a last resort. I personally wouldn’t advise it. I do like the ideas of making a slight pronunciation change for the Spanish speakers around you. And also like the idea of possibly adding [name_m]Raul[/name_m] as a second middle and calling him [name_u]Evan[/name_u] [name_m]Raul[/name_m]. With my children their first and middles are somewhat interchangeable as they’ve learned to answer to both with me. Good luck!

I feel like it’s too late to go back on it to be honest with you. I like [name_u]Evan[/name_u] a lot, and living in [name_u]America[/name_u] most people will be able to pronounce his name correctly as he gets older. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t feel regret not naming him [name_m]Raul[/name_m]. You chose [name_u]Evan[/name_u] for a reason.I think if you felt strongly enough you could change his middle name [name_m]Jesus[/name_m] to [name_m]Raul[/name_m] but I wouldn’t change his first name.

2 Likes

Thanks for the advice. And to answer your question, he does respond to [name_u]Evan[/name_u]. However, he responds to several other nicknames he has such as "Red, EJ, and [name_m]Herman[/name_m] (Spanish for brother).

I have contemplated a second middle name except my husband says it will create confusion when my son is older filling out documents since forms typically only allow for one middle name.

Thank you so much for the feedback. I do remind myself that I chose [name_u]Evan[/name_u] and loved it at one point.

I’ve honestly never thought of pronouncing it “Ivan” and still keeping the E. I may use that for folks who I won’t really see much, so I don’t have to deal with them mispronouncing it.

1 Like