[name_f]My[/name_f] sister is slowly beginning to work some names out of her current boyfriend and I’m noticing a trend that it doesn’t matter who she’s with she is insistent on using an honoring name which to her seems to mean having a [name_m]Jr[/name_m] or a II for boys.
I know that I have no say in my nephew’s name when my sister has kids but it’s kind of frustrating to hear all these wonderful names she has for boys: [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], [name_m]Ford[/name_m], [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m] and the like and then that if she has a son he won’t have any of these names because he will be a [name_m]Jr[/name_m] on in the most recent case, a second, of a name she doesn’t really like.
I feel as if they should have a name that she loves since she says she’s only having one child but I know it isn’t my place to give unsolicited advice. (Plus I love [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] just a little more the [name_u]Douglas[/name_u] [name_m]Jr[/name_m].)
Disclaimer: No real babies involved yet. [name_m]Just[/name_m] seeking advice.
Well, as namenerds we’ll naturally have opinions on every name anyone ever wants to use. But in this case, it’s your sister’s decision what to name her child, just as I’m assuming you’re not planning on giving her any say in what you name yours!
You’re free to voice your opinion if and only when she asks for it, but besides that, you can think all the awful things you want about the name (I admit I really hate one of my cousins’ names and I mentally gag hearing it, even though she’s like two now, but I’ve never said so out loud.)
As for juniors/honour names- maybe it’s just not a common thing where I live or in my circle, but I’m not sure I know anyone who has the exact same first and middle as a relative. It tends to be one or the other, or a variation e.g. [name_f]Willa[/name_f] to honour a [name_m]William[/name_m]. For those who think it has to be ‘recognizably’ honouring the person- most people will have no idea they’re named after someone so they’d have to explain it anyway.
Hmmm. That is tough. I think the best way to go about it would be to [tactfully] [at the right time] ask your sister how she truly feels about the names, separate from the honoring aspect, and whether she would truly mind giving her son a name she dislikes just for the honoring aspect. If she wouldn’t, then she wouldn’t.
Not sure there’s a way to do this tactfully, so I guess I don’t seriously suggest it, but you could always point how recent studies have shown that the use of patronyms (but not matronyms) is highly correlated with patriarchal, misogynistic societies, and does she really want to propagate that?
I would just see how she really feels about not getting any of the names she really likes and if there is a way that she could get the name in there without a [name_m]Jr[/name_m] or II. It depends on how much the husband cares about the [name_m]Jr[/name_m]/II. A friend’s family member just had a baby that was the IV and the husband said before they were married that their first son must be the IV.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have a source for that? I happen to live in one of the few countries in the world that still uses patronymics and we’ve also been ranked as having the narrowest gender gap in the world by the World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report for 5 years running.
Well if it’s what she wants, there’s nothing to be done. But you could always ask if she would prefer to honor the father in a different way.
In one of my brother-in-law’s family, the firstborn boy is given his father’s name as a middle name, and subsequent boys are given family names, and my sister is cool with that. (They’ve only had girls so far, but they’ve already agreed that a son’s middle name will be my bro-in-law’s name.)
[name_f]My[/name_f] other brother-in-law’s family has a tradition of boys being given the mom’s maiden name as a middle name.
So there are lots of ways to honor someone in a name. You could, maybe, just mention that to her, as an alternative to the [name_m]Jr[/name_m]/III/IV/etc stuff. If she’s into that, great. But if she realizes she likes a different way of honoring family, great too.
I don’t think there is any advice to give unless your sister asks for it, it is her decision . When and if the time comes that they ask just make sure she loves the name, the baby could always go by their middle name.
I wouldn’t say much, if anything, if there is no actual baby yet. You might just say “if it were me, I would use it as a middle name since you love…so much”
But in this case, it’s your sister’s decision what to name her child, just as I’m assuming you’re not planning on giving her any say in what you name yours!
