I posted a little while back about [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m]. A name both my husband and myself really like.
The problem is that he has turned around (after I’ve fallen in love with HIS suggestion!) and vetoed.
He vetoed my favourite girl option for this baby ([name_f]Lorelei[/name_f]) and I am okay with it because he genuinely hates the name. That’s fair enough. Vetoed.
But he LIKES [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m]. He thinks it’s an awesome name. He is vetoing because he doesn’t think it is useable - because he thinks people will think we are crazy and that it sounds made up. I’ve told him it is a legitimate name, but he says he just doesn’t think he could go through with it, as much as he thinks it’s a great name.
Any advice here? Should I just drop one of only 2 names we have on our boys list? The name I absolutely love? I don’t want to
I’d really appreciate any input here. I’m 6 months along and feeling really deflated with [name_m]ZERO[/name_m] names on our girls list and now potentially only ONE on our boys list that I don’t love anywhere near as much as [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m].
[name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is not unusable. We are an international family, we like old names. It has a great history.
I am having a hard time giving up a name we love, just because we live in a country where most people don’t even have passports or recognise a legitimate name when they see it.
[name_f]Laurel[/name_f] is very pretty, I like it a lot actually. I feel my husband will dislike it because it is basically the first half of the name he hates, but I’ll bring it up!
I have come to quite like [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] and while it isn’t common it is being used more, at least where I live. Because you BOTH really like [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] maybe if you just let it sit with him for two or three weeks, he may begin to reconsider. I hope he isn’t rejecting it because of what he perceives would be others’ opinions, but the only thing you can do is not get into a tug-o-war, and remind him how much you both like it. Good luck!
[name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is not my style, but both of you love it, so I wouldn’t give up yet.
Would calling the baby by [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] instead of whatever you usually use help him get used to hearing it? [name_m]Wolf[/name_m] is an adorable nickname tbh.
Thank you. That’s good advice. I am not going to push it too strongly, I think I will leave naming discussions with him alone for a few weeks and then see how he feels when I mention it again. My mum hates the name we gave my daughter and even now at 1 year old she used a nickname that she made up instead of the full name. I don’t care. Other people’s perceptions and feelings shouldn’t and don’t matter!
I love [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m]! And if you both like it, you should use it. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you know why DH rejected it? Is it because it’s uncommon or for another reason?
[name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is a legitimate name with a genius composer as a namesake. People are naming their children things like [name_f]Miracle[/name_f], [name_f]Deja[/name_f], and [name_f]Brandi[/name_f]. Being unusual is no issue for most parents so I vote that you should go for [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m]!
He thinks it’s too rare and very strongly foreign. I don’t see either of these things an issue ESPECIALLY considering how much we both love it. And I play piano gaaaaad. He has to come around.
I take it [name_m]Amadeus[/name_m] isn’t a good alternative. I like the idea of waiting a few weeks to see what he thinks. I do the same as your husband, I comes up with a name, like [name_f]Agnes[/name_f], and love it. Then just one day it doesn’t sound good anymore. Try to be understanding and get a bigger list and feel out his ideas. Who knows, he may just go back to [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] after hearing the other options.
[name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is awesome! Maybe pick a simpler middle name that he could also use just in case? Or perhaps [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] as a middle name? I wouldn’t give up on it just because your husband thinks it’s unusable.
You don’t really have a choice on whether or not to respect his veto. It doesn’t matter whether you agree with his reasoning. It’s his baby too and you can’t honestly be considering naming the child against his will.
I’ve dropped plenty of names that I loved for what (to me) were very trivial reasons given by my partner. I’ve also dropped plenty of names on my own initiative because, while I did love them, I felt that practically they were not right for our child. I’ve also vetoed names my partner loved for reasons he may not have understood. To his credit, he always accepted my voice on the matter as I accepted his. I know I wouldn’t like it at all if he tried to argue with me over a name veto or invalidate my feelings, so I don’t do it to him either.
Maybe he will change his mind again and maybe he won’t. It definitely couldn’t hurt to drop the subject for a while and then raise it again later. But if he still doesn’t feel comfortable with it, then you have to respect his judgement even though you don’t agree with it.
[name_f]Edit[/name_f]: Plus, if you have two names on your boy’s list, and you just managed to rule one out, isn’t that a good thing? You only need one first name! Maybe he would be willing to go with [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] for a middle name since middle names are less ‘visible’, and then you’ve got your boy’s name (assuming they go together all right). Narrowing down options is surely better than expanding them when you are actually trying to name someone? If you really don’t feel positive about your other option, then you have plenty of time to find a third option. 3 months is quite a long time.
I think [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is cool. It kind of feels like a name you either love or hate. [name_f]Imo[/name_f] [name_m]Wolf[/name_m] is a great name in its own right but would make a great nickname for [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m]. Would he go by [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] only or would you call him by a nickname?
[name_m]Wolf[/name_m] and Wolfie are adorable and doesn’t feel as obscure as [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] although I think [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] would be a great full name.
I hope you guys will go for what your heart is telling you and not what other people think
When in doubt, think about the child. I completely agree with your husband that it could cause teasing, and major dislike. I’m fairly open about names, but I would give an internal eye roll over a child saddled with [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m]. We knew a little [name_m]Ignatius[/name_m] and almost everyone who heard his name would make a face, or ask that it be repeated. I never heard one person say something positive about it. While berries love creative, unique names, it’s the child that has to live with it. I want people to somewhat like or appreciate my child’s name. I’m afraid you will get the opposite of appreciation from the majority of people with [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m].
Totally agree with your husband, sorry. While [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is technically usable (isn’t almost any name, really?), I think that it would be difficult for a child to wear. I know a teenage boy named [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] (I’m in the US) and the name has gotten him some unkind comments and eye rolls from people. It shouldn’t matter what other people think, but the reality is that it does. You may love the name, but it’s your child who will have to live with it throughout his life and endure any negative comments/opinions/impressions from people based on his name. I think the child has to come first and it doesn’t feel very fair to him. I also think if your husband is having doubts now, those doubts will turn into regrets once he sees and hears negative reactions from people on his child’s name. Maybe it could work in the middle spot? That way you get to use it somewhere, but it won’t interfere with the child’s everyday life.
I know my criticism is a bit harsh. [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is 100% a legitimate name with a lot of history, but unfortunately those qualities don’t always overcome the burdens of living with such a “big” name.
I think [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] nn [name_m]Wolf[/name_m] or Wolfie is really cute! Maybe put a ‘normal’ name in the middle just in case? But I say go for it!
Sounds to me like a case of ‘it’s a really awesome name but I can’t see myself naming my child that now it’s a reality’
I think that you have no choice but to respect your husbands veto ability, but I would talk it through before taking it off the table and maybe keep it as a back up within name lists. Try adding some of the ‘maybe’ names that you have each vetoed to lists where you each get to rank your favourites and add any names you each like individually. This might help you work out sounds / feels or trends that you both like.
What is your daughters name?
What would she have been called if she was a boy?
What is the other boy name on your list?
These questions might help us to help you with some more ideas
Otherwise, good luck!
I disagree, I think [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] is 100% usable. I’m from [name_f]Canada[/name_f] - I worked with a [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] who is the CEO of a major media company and a friend of mine had her son [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] (nn: [name_m]Wolf[/name_m]) 7 months ago. It’s very wearable and strong.
gaaaaad. He has to come around.