Agreed. There often seems to be a sense of dread about having kids after the age of 30 that oozes out of these threads. [name_u]Trust[/name_u] me—it’s not so bad!
In case it helps to even out the perspective: I was 34 when I had my first, 35 when I had my second, and will be almost 38 when my third is born. We may still add one more! (Although 3 kids under 4 may be enough to keep us right there )
It’s been fantastic having my kids in my 30s, and while there is no perfect formula or way to do it, I think I have experienced huge benefits financially, and loved having my 20s to focus on myself! Most people in my social circle are only now starting families in their mid-thirties, after pursing careers/education, while I have family members who have kids twice as old as mine and are ten years younger than me! There is no “right” way to do it, and often things beyond our control determine the “choice” (when you meet your partner; unplanned pregnancy; readiness; fertility issues; etc)
All of which is to say: let’s support each other and appreciate each woman’s mothering journey, whether it starts at 21 or 41!
I was 26 when my first was born. We’re currently ttc so I’ll at least be 30 or possibly 31 when we have our 2nd. It’s a little bit bigger of a gap than I initially wanted; originally I wanted about 3 years between our first and second, but I was so not ready when at that time. So now it’ll be closer to a 4 year age gap probably.
We’re not sure if we’re going to have 2 or 3 kids, but ideally, I think I’d want to be done by 35.
I wanna be around 25/26 bc I really like the age gap between my mom and my brother lol ut I’d like to be done by like 35 only bc I want my kids to be pretty close in age
We fostered a little girl when I was 24, but ended up deciding that we weren’t quite ready to to be parents. A year later we changed our minds and our son was born when I was 26. I’m definitely glad we waited and had those 2 years to get ready. It was a lot harder than we expected, but we were fine. If we had tried to raise a newborn at 24, it would have been a nightmare.
I always figured I would be a young mom, like 22-23 years old. But we’ve been trying for now four years, and I am now 24, my boyfriend is 25. We definitely wanted to have all our babies before 30, but we are not sure it’s gonna play out like we wanted at first.
Slightly unrelated but reading through these comments have made me feel so much better. I just turned 24, and not only am I the only sibling of all my sisters to not have a kid, but my friends are all starting to get married and have kids too. I always planned to have my first around 26, and I’m happy to see that even that’s early for a lot of moms.
I was pretty young, I was 21 when I had my first child. I wish I’d waited a bit longer and worked out what kind of man I was married to. [name_u]Or[/name_u] better still, not married him in the first place. I rushed into my first marriage too early. That might be the right time for some people, but not for me.
Commenting so I can “follow up” when it actually happens. I always thought I’d be around 26, but we weren’t ready to start ttc yet. Started in [name_u]Jan[/name_u] of this year with no luck yet. I’m 27 currently and will be 28 very soon.
I don’t have any but my best friend and MOH was 38 when she had her first and 41 when she had her second. Her husband was 31 when the first was born and 34 for the second. [name_f]My[/name_f] friend has no regrets about becoming an older first time parent as she and husband had done what they wanted in life and both had stable careers, their own home and savings.
I am currently 20 years old, going on 21 in 5 months here.
In my mind the perfect age for me to get pregnant with baby #1 and have the first kid would have to be getting pregnant I’m thinking along the lines of 4 months after my 21st birthday and then giving birth around a month after becoming 22. This gives sufficient time for my partner and I to stack up some more money since we are fortunate enough to already have a living place secured, I get to spend the beginning part of 21 being a 21 year old (meaning if I want to try seeing what going to clubs on the weekend is like for one example), and then after baby pops out I still get to be a young adult in the sense that my body should bounce back much quicker than my mom’s, for example, did - she was 35 during much of her first pregnancy and 36 when she had me.
I would like to have my first by 23 so I really hope everything is fine by then
And i would want at least 2 more after that probably with a 2 year age gap with the first one
Always thought I’d be younger but we started trying when I was 28 and it just didn’t go our way, we ended up having IVF.
But actually now I’m pregnant, it feels like a good age. I’ve done a lot of travelling, I’m married and we’ve bought a house and I actually feel properly honestly ready now in terms of where we’re at in our lives.
)