"Already used" disappointment

Today I learned that my childhood bully used my top boy name (Basil) for her son :broken_heart: aside from my typical aversion to using the name of someone I already know, I just don’t think I could bring myself to use the same name as someone I have such an awful history with.

The worst part is that it’s ONE of his middle names, but apparently it’s the name she actually calls him by (or at least, that she’s calling him by right now). I was a little adverse to it when I first learned it was her son’s middle name, but assumed it was an honour name (it’s very out of fashion here) and figured that I’d never really see her mention it again. But then today she posted about him and called him “Bas” and I felt my dreams being crushed.

Your words of sympathy and empathetic stories would be greatly appreciated, Berries :heart: I’ll come to terms with it eventually, but today I am just feeling sad, angry, and a little lost :pensive:

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Oh ouch :broken_heart: I’m so sorry! What rotten luck, especially since [name_u]Basil[/name_u] is not a common name at all right now.
Only you can be the one to fully decide if you want to use it or not, but I wouldn’t write it off your list immediately! How often do you actually see this person? Are they just an online presence for you? Could you maybe distance yourself from them/their posts to maybe make the connection between her and the name not so strong?
I totally get your hesitancy, though. There are a couple of names that would be higher on my list if I didn’t know a baby with that name, so I can imagine it’s way worse when you have a bad association with the person, however distant they may be. But it would certainly be a shame for you to not get to use your top name! [name_u]Basil[/name_u] is so handsome! :orange_heart:

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I feel your pain! [name_m]Just[/name_m] today I learned that my cousin named his first daughter Gwen, a name I’ve been eyeing for a long time, either alone or as short for Gwendolyn. That side of the family is small, too small for a second [name_f]Gwen[/name_f] to work.

Historically, I do not have a good relationship with my cousin or with that side of the family; in fact, quite the opposite. So, I don’t want a hypothetical child of mine with a name that has any ties to them.

Name. Ruined.

Ugh.

Sorry this happened to you!

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And I am so sorry that happened to you! [name_u]Truly[/name_u] awful :pensive:

I loveeeeee [name_u]Jameson[/name_u] but my cousin is named [name_u]James[/name_u] :sob:

Deleting her and all our mutual friends has absolutely crossed my mind! It would be a challenge - we come from a very small town - but I think without any close friends in common that it could be done well enough that I wouldn’t ever hear about it again if I tried hard enough. But I fear the name may just be tainted forever now, no matter how much distance I put between us.

Why are you following the life of your childhood bully?? Seriously, stop that!

[name_f]Hope[/name_f] you find a new and better love!

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A very good point, haha. We’re from a small town so we likely just didn’t resist when Facebook suggested we be friends (having half our friends’ lists in common). And I hadn’t felt much animosity toward her… until she used one of my names!

Being someone I’ve never liked, I have no problem deleting her and her close friends… but I’m still left with the knowledge that she’s used the name. And the small chance that my parents and/or remaining hometown friends know it too and may comment on it. I just don’t know if I can live with it. I do have a notoriously bad memory - maybe if I delete her I’ll forget?! Not likely :sweat_smile:

I love [name_u]Max[/name_u] and [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f], but have close relatives with the names!

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I’m so sorry!

Honestly firstly school bullies suck and the effects of bully can be life long so I’m sorry you went through that school so I hope you’ve healed the best you can from this period :yellow_heart:

Secondly situations like this such let alone involving someone who represents a terrible time for you it’s just so rubbish!

Anyways yep been there so I get where your coming from completely apart from it’s a bestie rather than a school bully. So when my friend was expecting her daughter she loved Eva & Sienna and really liked the idea of a hyphenated first name. Of course me being the name nerd I am suggested loads of ideas such as Eva-Kate, Eva-Lily, Sienna-Ivy etc and then she asked me what I’m going to name my daughter to which I said Rose. After that she became OBSESSED with the idea of having a hyphenated first name involving Rose. After her daughter was born she had four names Lola-Rose, Daisy-Rose, Peyton-Rose & Molly-Rose the only thing that stuck was using Rose in a hyphenated first name. Anyways whe chose Peyton-Rose and Rose was always a bit tainted for me after that. Since then there have been loads of hyphenated first names involving Rose that it has put me off and even though I adore Rose I don’t think I would use the name in real life. Honestly it’s so annoying so I feel your pain.

Good luck finding another name love and I just want to put forward the idea of the name Moss. Moss feels similar to Basil and you may like it :blush:

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Oh nooo, I’m sorry! Well first, I would recommend unfollowing her and her friends immediately. Maybe you will feel differently about using the name [name_u]Basil[/name_u] when your time comes. It’s a lovely name!

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