lol, I would be the other [name]Ashley[/name]. 
I actually have grown to love my name, and I do think [name]Ashley[/name] suits me, but there’s parts of it I still can’t reconcile–like the fact that [name]Ashley[/name]'s unisex, and it makes me feel like I can’t own up to my femininity sometimes (it doesn’t hurt that my UNCLE is [name]Bruce[/name] [name]Ashley[/name], and his BROTHER is [name]Ashley[/name] [name]Bruce[/name]!). The name lover in me would love to have something feminine and something a little bit less trendy for my age group. Besides, I’d love to name a future son [name]Asher[/name] one day, and the idea of being [name]Ashley[/name] and [name]Asher[/name], or even me being [name]Ash[/name] and him being [name]Asher[/name], it’s just too confusing! I was willing to just be [name]Ashley[/name], and let him be [name]Asher[/name] nn [name]Ash[/name], but I figured if I could go by something else, he would have the option of the nn [name]Ash[/name] without much confusion, which seems ideal.
My top contender at the moment is [name]Lela[/name] (feel free to use it if you love it!)–said [name]LEE[/name]-lah. I figure if [name]Charlotte[/name] can have the nn [name]Lola[/name] then I could go by [name]Lela[/name].
I’m toying with spelling it [name]Leila[/name], [name]Lila[/name], [name]Leela[/name], etc.–it seems as though there are a lot of acceptable spellings! Sometimes I feel like it’s perfect, and other times I feel like it really doesn’t suit me at all, so the jury’s still out for that. I’m also considering [name]Lise[/name] (I figure since it has the strong “lee” sound, as well as the “S” that could connect to [name]Ashley[/name], or even the “S” in my surname), and I have considered [name]Lily[/name] and [name]Allie[/name] at one point, too. I don’t feel like I was really an [name]Allie[/name], so I quickly nixed that (besides, I named my car [name]Alouette[/name] nn [name]Allie[/name], haha), and while I love [name]Lily[/name] and think it could suit me, I really want to save it for one of my future daughters. The last gift my grandmother gave me before she was laid to rest was a lily, so while it’s really significant to me, I really want to share my last memories of my grandmother with my daughter.
So that really just leaves me [name]Lela[/name] and [name]Lise[/name], I guess we’ll see if one of them stick. I’m slowly starting to transition, see how it “feels”. And I’ve just graduated from college (okay, well, last [name]December[/name], but I’m still job-hunting), so I figure once I find a job my circle of friends and acquaintances will shift quite drastically (especially if I move out of state), so it’s the perfect time to decide to go by something new. So far, I’ve tried it out while ordering take-out at a sub shoppe, and, in the interim between jobs, I’m still working at the Taco [name]Bell[/name] I worked at during school, so I’ve talked to my coworkers about it, and some trusted friends, and when we did a fundraiser drive this week, someone told me to write my name on the “I donated to Children’s Hospital” card instead of their name, and I wrote [name]Lela[/name]. I don’t think I could ever change drastically, but the times I’ve used [name]Lela[/name], it’s felt right, and as long as I don’t push it too much, I think I’ll slowly adjust and become more and more comfortable with it. Hopefully soon I’ll know whether or not being [name]Lela[/name] is right for me. I love having an “A” name, though, I think that really suits me, so the idea of going by a “L” nickname seems very odd. And I like signing [name]Ashley[/name], haha, I love my signature. That’s a petty reason not to do it, but you know. 
I guess we’ll see, I haven’t decided yet. Erm, but once I decide for sure, I think I’ll probably change my name on Facebook to [name]Lela[/name] SURNAME or [name]Lise[/name] Surname, and I’ll post something to the effect of:
“I’m sure you’ve all noticed that my name has changed from [name]Ashley[/name] to [name]Lela[/name]. This has been coming for some time now, and I’ll still answer to [name]Ashley[/name], etc., etc.”
I’m not sure exactly what it’ll say, I haven’t figured that out yet, haha. I’ve already been applying to jobs as [name]Ashley[/name] SURNAME, and when they give the option for preferred name, I list [name]Lela[/name]. I guess we’ll see how it goes from here, some days I really feel like a [name]Lela[/name], some days I feel like an [name]Ashley[/name], some days I feel like being [name]Lela[/name] is pushing me to be someone I totally am not, some days I feel like I’m [name]Lela[/name] but I want to feel like I’m [name]Ashley[/name] again, and some days I feel like I’m not who I really am without being both [name]Ashley[/name] AND [name]Lela[/name]! It’s a very confusing process, haha, hopefully I can get some clarity soon.
Good luck with your own search!
ETA: For what it’s worth, my uncle’s brother goes by Lee, so I don’t find that particularly attractive (for a girl, at least!), although Lee/Leigh is just as unisex as Ashley, so why not? Or maybe you could hyphen Lee/Leigh with your MN, like Leigh-Caitlin or Leigh-Maria, or whatever your MN is? I’m just thinking of Leigh-Allyn Baker, I think she somehow pulls off Leigh-Allyn really well, despite it sounding so masculine. I had also considered going by Em/M or Ari, for my MN (Marie), so that might be an option, too?