Alternates for Ashley?

I’m here for help! :slight_smile:

I am named [name]Ashley[/name]. I have hated it all my life because it just doesn’t match my personality, but I can’t think of or find any decent nicknames that are close enough that people wouldn’t ask questions about whether I was changing my name if I started using a nickname instead. I figured since you guys are name experts, you’d be good folks to ask!

My goal would be to gradually transition out of “[name]Ashley[/name]” by starting to use the new nickname in letters and email signatures. I don’t want people to ask if I changed my name, so it has to be logical enough to sound like a natural variation (like “lizzie” for elizabeth, that kind of thing).

Here are my ideas:
Liley
Alley
[name]Elley[/name]
[name]Marley[/name]
Olley

I welcome opinions! Thanks.

I think anything besides the following will necessitate some conversations about name change- [name]Ash[/name], [name]Asha[/name], [name]Lee[/name], your initials, maybe [name]Asher[/name]?

I think even a self imposed nickname that is a very obvious one will get the occasional question or comment.

Since it seems like trying to avoid those conversations is keeping you tied to something close to [name]Ashley[/name] I think you should accept the fact that it is even difficult to get people on board if you decide to go by your initials! So feel free to stray as far from [name]Ashley[/name] as you’d like! In my opinion all of your list except maybe Alley are pretty far from/separate from [name]Ashley[/name] anyway.

I could see Alley from [name]Ashley[/name] easily enough, the others are more of a stretch. [name]How[/name] would you say Liley?
I’ve always liked [name]Asha[/name] as an alternative.

I’ll bet anything she’ll chime in, but there is another [name]Ashley[/name] on the board also looking for a unique nickname alternative. :slight_smile:

[name]Ah[/name], bless the other [name]Ashley[/name]–bless us all! I have nothing against the name except that it never fit me. I guess I could go with [name]Lee[/name], I just worry that it’s considered a guy’s name. I could live with Alley.

I tried flat-out changing my name a year ago and it was awful. Everyone treated me like I was crazy and some people refused to acknowledge it. That’s why I wonder if picking something closer to [name]Ashley[/name] would help people bend just a tad.

I appreciate these opinions!

i like [name]Asha[/name] too :slight_smile:

lol, I would be the other [name]Ashley[/name]. :slight_smile:

I actually have grown to love my name, and I do think [name]Ashley[/name] suits me, but there’s parts of it I still can’t reconcile–like the fact that [name]Ashley[/name]'s unisex, and it makes me feel like I can’t own up to my femininity sometimes (it doesn’t hurt that my UNCLE is [name]Bruce[/name] [name]Ashley[/name], and his BROTHER is [name]Ashley[/name] [name]Bruce[/name]!). The name lover in me would love to have something feminine and something a little bit less trendy for my age group. Besides, I’d love to name a future son [name]Asher[/name] one day, and the idea of being [name]Ashley[/name] and [name]Asher[/name], or even me being [name]Ash[/name] and him being [name]Asher[/name], it’s just too confusing! I was willing to just be [name]Ashley[/name], and let him be [name]Asher[/name] nn [name]Ash[/name], but I figured if I could go by something else, he would have the option of the nn [name]Ash[/name] without much confusion, which seems ideal.

My top contender at the moment is [name]Lela[/name] (feel free to use it if you love it!)–said [name]LEE[/name]-lah. I figure if [name]Charlotte[/name] can have the nn [name]Lola[/name] then I could go by [name]Lela[/name]. :slight_smile: I’m toying with spelling it [name]Leila[/name], [name]Lila[/name], [name]Leela[/name], etc.–it seems as though there are a lot of acceptable spellings! Sometimes I feel like it’s perfect, and other times I feel like it really doesn’t suit me at all, so the jury’s still out for that. I’m also considering [name]Lise[/name] (I figure since it has the strong “lee” sound, as well as the “S” that could connect to [name]Ashley[/name], or even the “S” in my surname), and I have considered [name]Lily[/name] and [name]Allie[/name] at one point, too. I don’t feel like I was really an [name]Allie[/name], so I quickly nixed that (besides, I named my car [name]Alouette[/name] nn [name]Allie[/name], haha), and while I love [name]Lily[/name] and think it could suit me, I really want to save it for one of my future daughters. The last gift my grandmother gave me before she was laid to rest was a lily, so while it’s really significant to me, I really want to share my last memories of my grandmother with my daughter.

So that really just leaves me [name]Lela[/name] and [name]Lise[/name], I guess we’ll see if one of them stick. I’m slowly starting to transition, see how it “feels”. And I’ve just graduated from college (okay, well, last [name]December[/name], but I’m still job-hunting), so I figure once I find a job my circle of friends and acquaintances will shift quite drastically (especially if I move out of state), so it’s the perfect time to decide to go by something new. So far, I’ve tried it out while ordering take-out at a sub shoppe, and, in the interim between jobs, I’m still working at the Taco [name]Bell[/name] I worked at during school, so I’ve talked to my coworkers about it, and some trusted friends, and when we did a fundraiser drive this week, someone told me to write my name on the “I donated to Children’s Hospital” card instead of their name, and I wrote [name]Lela[/name]. I don’t think I could ever change drastically, but the times I’ve used [name]Lela[/name], it’s felt right, and as long as I don’t push it too much, I think I’ll slowly adjust and become more and more comfortable with it. Hopefully soon I’ll know whether or not being [name]Lela[/name] is right for me. I love having an “A” name, though, I think that really suits me, so the idea of going by a “L” nickname seems very odd. And I like signing [name]Ashley[/name], haha, I love my signature. That’s a petty reason not to do it, but you know. :slight_smile:

I guess we’ll see, I haven’t decided yet. Erm, but once I decide for sure, I think I’ll probably change my name on Facebook to [name]Lela[/name] SURNAME or [name]Lise[/name] Surname, and I’ll post something to the effect of:

“I’m sure you’ve all noticed that my name has changed from [name]Ashley[/name] to [name]Lela[/name]. This has been coming for some time now, and I’ll still answer to [name]Ashley[/name], etc., etc.”

I’m not sure exactly what it’ll say, I haven’t figured that out yet, haha. I’ve already been applying to jobs as [name]Ashley[/name] SURNAME, and when they give the option for preferred name, I list [name]Lela[/name]. I guess we’ll see how it goes from here, some days I really feel like a [name]Lela[/name], some days I feel like an [name]Ashley[/name], some days I feel like being [name]Lela[/name] is pushing me to be someone I totally am not, some days I feel like I’m [name]Lela[/name] but I want to feel like I’m [name]Ashley[/name] again, and some days I feel like I’m not who I really am without being both [name]Ashley[/name] AND [name]Lela[/name]! It’s a very confusing process, haha, hopefully I can get some clarity soon.

Good luck with your own search!

ETA: For what it’s worth, my uncle’s brother goes by Lee, so I don’t find that particularly attractive (for a girl, at least!), although Lee/Leigh is just as unisex as Ashley, so why not? Or maybe you could hyphen Lee/Leigh with your MN, like Leigh-Caitlin or Leigh-Maria, or whatever your MN is? I’m just thinking of Leigh-Allyn Baker, I think she somehow pulls off Leigh-Allyn really well, despite it sounding so masculine. I had also considered going by Em/M or Ari, for my MN (Marie), so that might be an option, too?

[name]One[/name] of my younger cousins has been planning on changing her name for about a year now. She says it’s because her name doesn’t feel right anymore and that’s she’s never even liked her name in the first place. She’s picking a completely new first name and changing her current first name([name]Emma[/name]) to her middle name because she knows that the family will still call her [name]Emma[/name]. I think it’s a really good idea because she’s not completely getting rid of [name]Emma[/name], and it won’t be weird when certain people still call her [name]Emma[/name] if it’s her middle name. She’s moving out of state soon so all the new people she meets will only know her by whatever new name she chooses. I’m pretty close to my cousin and I completely support her but there has been some people who’s laughed at her or called her weird. I think if you want to change your name then you should do it regardless of what other people think about it. :slight_smile:

The only alternatives to [name]Ashley[/name] that I can think of and like are [name]Ash[/name], [name]Asha[/name], and [name]Aislinn[/name]/[name]Ashlyn[/name]. You could also go with Ailee/Ailey, Aurelie, or maybe Cinder. I like @ashthedreamer’s idea of [name]Lela[/name].

I changed my name about ten years ago, it was hard at first getting some people to call me by my new name, but now no one calls me by the old name. So if you did at some point decide to change your name, eventually most people will call you by it, just the more stubborn they are the longer it may take.

As for variations and alternatives to [name]Ashley[/name]:

[name]Aisling[/name], Ailie, [name]Ailish[/name], [name]Ashby[/name], [name]Aisha[/name], [name]Ashanti[/name], [name]Lee[/name], [name]Shel[/name], [name]Shelby[/name], [name]Lila[/name], [name]Leila[/name], [name]Lelia[/name], etc

I second - third? - the suggestion of [name]Asha[/name]. It’s close enough to [name]Ashley[/name] that it won’t throw people for a loop but different enough that you won’t be [name]Asha[/name] S. or [name]Asha[/name] W. I knew a girl named [name]Asha[/name] in middle school and she was just the most physically beautiful person you could imagine. (In Poland [name]Asha[/name] is a common nickname for [name]Joanna[/name] - go figure.)

Also: I’m sure you’ve already done this, but you need to think really long and hard - I’m talking months, if not years - if changing your name is really what you want to do. I have a cousin who decided to go by her middle name. She had a common name (think [name]Rachel[/name]), and wanted to go by her more unusual middle name (think [name]Amelia[/name].) The reaction she got was unreal. Her parents accepted it immediately, but her friends and extended family were having none of it. Her best friend stopped talking to her, her other friends constantly called her by her first name, our cousins just rolled their eyes and refused to call her by her preferred name, etc. They treated her like a leper. And they privately told me how “weird” it was and how she was obviously having some sort of “mental breakdown” or that she was “full of it.” And she’s a wonderful person! I couldn’t believe that people in our age group (20s) could be so closed minded about somebody just wanting to go by their middle name, but they. were. awful. After two years of this she finally gave up and went back to using her first name. She told me recently that, while she really prefers her middle name, she just couldn’t deal with all the flat-out animosity. She said she wishes she had never changed her name, because people still make fun of her for it.

So in conclusion: if you want to go by a different name, I think it’s VERY smart that you’re chosing one that is similar to your first name. [name]Just[/name] keep in mind that you might get some reactions you weren’t expecting.

I agree that the names you’re considering aren’t all that close to [name]Ashley[/name], so I’d just change it to whatever you want. I think the closest alternative is probably [name]Ashlyn[/name]/[name]Aislinn[/name].

I like [name]Shell[/name]

Why not use your middle name?

Other ideas:
[name]Sheila[/name]
[name]Ella[/name]
[name]Elle[/name]
[name]Leigh[/name]
[name]Leya[/name]
[name]Lily[/name]
[name]Leena[/name]/[name]Lina[/name]

What about making a different name out of the letters in [name]Ashley[/name]? For instance, Seylah. I dunno, just a thought.

You guys are the coolest! I especially appreciate the thoughts of my fellow [name]Ashley[/name]. A middle name would be a simple swap, except I might hate it even more as it is even less of a fit. [name]Leela[/name] or [name]Leese[/name] are very creative and close alternatives! Darling fellow [name]Ashley[/name], I hope you will feel nothing but compliments (and creative credit!) if I end up ripping one of them off. :slight_smile:

I have become so seriously fascinated with names lately, so I really appreciate reading everyone’s thoughts.

I think [name]Ashlyn[/name] is nice. Have to say, [name]Ashley[/name] seemed quiet popular in the 80’s and 90’s, still popular today, but seems to have that “valley girl” feel to it. [name]Asha[/name] and [name]Asher[/name] are cute as well. Similar but different: [name]Alisha[/name], [name]Alyssa[/name], Alexie, [name]Ansley[/name], Allisana…

[name]Aislinn[/name] was what I thought of first…it means ‘dream’

I like [name]Lise[/name]!!! :slight_smile:

I always loved the name [name]Ashley[/name], its popularity now notwithstanding. But I do like the name [name]Lee[/name] as well, which is definitely unisex. [name]Lee[/name] is absolutely also a girl’s name, so I think that would be the best transition name.

lol, it’s fine. Like I said, I might just keep [name]Ashley[/name], I’m quite partial to it. :slight_smile: And besides, I think meeting an [name]Ashley[/name] who went by [name]Lela[/name] or [name]Lise[/name] would be really refreshing. :slight_smile: