My daughter is 9 months old and I am currently 6.5 weeks pregnant, due in [name_u]November[/name_u] My husband and I have decided this will be our last child. If we have a girl of course we will use my daughters baby clothes, but if we have a boy we have talked about having a garage sale this summer (after we find out the sex) to sell off some of the MASSIVE amounts of girl baby clothes we have. Iâm talking bins and bins of clothes, a lot of which was never worn because she grew so fast!
I have 4 sisters, three of which are within 4 years of my age, one of which is married, one is engaged and one is in a serious relationship with marriage in the future. My married sister unfortunately suffered a miscarriage 3 months ago and her and her husband are going to continue ttc. She has already said to me before âI hope you are planning on keeping all of your baby stuffâ. My other sisters have commented on how great it is that they will not have to buy anything when they have kids because I can give them all my stuff after my kids outgrow it. I have mentioned in passing to my mom how I want to sell my daughters clothes and other small items that are girl specific that she has outgrown if we have a boy. My mom thinks that would make my sisters mad that I wasnât saving things for them.
From my perspective, I can understand the importance of passing down bigger, more expensive items like a crib, pack and play, etc, which I plan on doing. But I also need money to buy things for my growing child, like a new car seat, a double stroller for when the baby is born, and boy clothes if we have a boy. I donât think itâs fair that me and my husband are going to spend money year after year on our children while my siblings sit back and have everything fall into their lap. I think itâs fair to want to recoup some of the money we have spent so far to try to offset the cost of another baby.
I donât want to make my sisters mad, and I certainly donât want to appear rude, greedy or unwilling to help. Is it fair for me to sell some of my baby stuff in order to buy stuff for #2, or would that be a slap in the face to my sisters??
I think itâs fair to sell some things, especially if you bought most of it yourself! Iâm a little worried that my younger sister and my husbandâs sister are going to think weâre rude if we donât pass down a lot of the stuff we have gotten for free or cheap this pregnancy, but Iâm planning on having my babies pretty close together, and will probably still be using it if they decide to have babies any time soon! I will say that we always got tons of hand-me-downs from my older cousins and loved it, so I can see why they might be sad if you donât have anything to give them, but I donât think itâs unreasonable to want to get some money back out of that. Especially since baby clothes only get worn so many times, and Iâm sure theyâll get plenty as gifts. Maybe if thereâs an outfit that theyâre especially attached to, keep that one for them, but the majority of it Iâd think youâd be safe to sell.
I donât think youâre being rude at all - itâs a privilege and a favour to receive hand-me-downs from friends and family members who have had kids before you, but definitely not something to be expected or considered a right.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] if they âonlyâ receive the bigger items as hand-me-downs from you, like the crib or pack and play, then theyâve done pretty well out of the deal as it is. You canât be expected to do all the spending for everyoneâs children! I know that sounds harsh, but having kids is a really expensive business and you need to do what you need to do to make it work, as do your sisters for their own children when the time comes. If making ends meet for your family means selling some unused or outgrown stuff in order to buy needed items, you shouldnât feel bad doing that.
Also, when your sisters do come to have children, Iâm sure theyâll be overwhelmed with offers of stuff from other friends and family members - itâs amazing how many people come out of the woodwork with offers of no-longer-needed baby items!
I think itâs completely fine to sell some stuff. It sounds like you are already planning on handing down the bigger, more expensive items which should be help enough financially for them. If you really want to go the extra mile maybe ask them specifically what smaller items they would like you to set aside for them. Itâs unreasonable to assume that theyâd get everything free from you while you struggle to support your own kids. You need to think about your children before you think of theirs and they should understand that. That said, I think if you offer them a couple outfits or something else small they will appreciate it and be able to pass down some family items while you still get to earn back a little money for your baby. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps
I donât think youâre being rude at all. You can ask them if they want to go through the clothing and store items at their own homes, but you need to make space and $ for your new little one!
I think selling some stuff is fine. Honestly, do whatever you want to do. I donât think you will get much money for used baby clothes so itâs up to you to decide if the small amount you will recoup would be worth it or if it would be worth it to just save that stuff for your family since it would be a sweet gesture. I donât know about your family, but mine has been generous and is always buying clothes as gifts for my girls - my one [name_m]SIL[/name_m] should buy stocks in H&M she shops there so much⌠so I plan on saving all my girls cute stuff (whateverâs still wearable after going through 2 kids) for in case my family has girls of their own. Your family might be totally different, maybe they arenât supportive of you as new parents, maybe they never offer to babysit or help you out, never give your kids presents at the holidays, maybe they didnât bother coming to your baby shower⌠but my family has been pretty great and I want to take every opportunity to thank them & pass along that good will.
That said, I donât personally spend a lot of money on kids clothes. Mostay I buy things on sale or from second hand stores. If I had invested lots into their little wardrobes I might feel differently.
Itâs your stuff. You have no obligation to provide baby things for your siblings. They are adults.
You might get more out of the clothes if you trade them in at a consignment store like Once Upon A Child (its a chain) or if you dont have one of those, an online one like ThredUp. When I have bought childrenâs clothes at garage sales I have paid 25 cents maximum. That is for nice stain free brand name stuff, too. People just donât pay a lot at garage sales.
not rude to sell your baby girls things so that you can buy things for your boy should you have one. who is to say they might have a boy first, youâll have boy clothes to pass down then!
after first daughter i kept all her things to pass on. my older sister had a baby girl 3 months later, i ended up sending her some clothes to her. 9 months later my younger sister had a baby girl, i gave her some clothes. i kept all the clothes that i liked. i ended up having a second daughter. we only needed a double stroller. when my sister had her second baby girl she wanted more baby clothes since she sold/gave her stash of clothes. again i gave her some. i really wanted to tell her NOT to sell/give and send them back since we plan on TTC in the future, but didnât want to be rude. i still kept things i like but my stash is small now.
No, you arenât being rude at all. There really shouldnât be an expectation of a âgiftâ. I like what other posters have suggested about maybe having them pick some of the items, but then selling the rest (or keeping, if you have another girl!). I would just be honest and tell them that you didnât use many of the clothes, so you decided to sell the rest so you could buy some things you need for the next baby, especially if it is a boy. I mean really, people donât typically have a baby shower for their second and subsequent children. So your sisters need to realize that it falls on you only to get the stuff for the baby.
None of it is unreasonable on your part. There is no guarantee your sisters will conceive and all have girls that would fall in the right seasons for the clothing. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let yourself feel too guilty. You are a mom to your children, not theirs. You can give them things out of kindness and love, but your duty is to your children.
I wouldnât consider it rude. Youâve bought them so you can do with them whatever you want. Expecting hand-me-down clothes when they arenât already pregnant/have a child that needs those clothes, doesnât really make sense to me. Especially if youâre willing to part with some bigger ticket items and give them to your family once youâre done.
I would feel really awkward asking my [name_f]MIl[/name_f] to hold onto my youngest [name_m]BIL[/name_m]'s clothes for âIFâ we have a son one day in the future. Hubs doesnât have any siblings close in age to have to save hand-me-downs either. I wouldnât hold onto old clothes for 5-6 years until his oldest, little brother, was ready for kids.
So in other words, itâs not rude. [name_f]Do[/name_f] what you want.
I think they are the ones being rude assuming they can just get freebies from you! I would sell, but keep some or go gender neutral. My husband had a coworker who was told they were having a boy and surprise, it was a girl at birth! Itâs rare, but can happen!
Who cares if it makes them made? Maybe ask them if they want to buy any of it? Give them first dibs on the items. I donât plan on giving my younger sister any freebies (except maybe a baby shower gift), sheâll have to pay for them (but itâll be a pretty good discount).
Youâre not being rude at all. If you chose to sell every single item (big or small) you still wouldnât be rude. Theyâre your items and if you need to sell them to help provide for your family then thatâs what you need to do. I would be a bit uncomfortable with the idea of someone just wanting to go by and just wait to get all of my old stuff. Itâs kind of weird for them to assume that youâre just going to hand everything down so they can have a free ride and you struggle to provide for your little ones (and really, provide for their little ones to an extent since they would just keep getting your stuff).
If I was you I would offer for them to buy the items at a discounted rate (whatever you planned to sell them for at the garage sale). That way they can get some cheap things for their babies and you get some money to help provide for your little one. If they didnât want to buy it from you, then just sell it at a garage sale and let them buy their own stuff at retail price or visit garage sales on their own. Also, they could end up never having children or having all boys and it wouldnât even be an issue. You could also make a little âcare packageâ of maybe a few old items (maybe some favorites?) and box them up nicely for them as a little gift bag for each sister. Maybe some of your favorite items for the various sizes (newborn/3 months/6 months/12 months) and present it to them now or when theyâre pregnant and just sell the rest. So that they still get something but you can still save up for your little one
(Sorry if I repeat anyone advice I didnât read all the posts.)
I think there has to be a good compromise between hand me downs and selling everything.
Maybe a good option would be that you invite your sisters over and offer to give each of them a specific
of clothing items or toys you will no longer need. (Something that wonât cut into your sales too
much but also gives them the opportunity to take the things they love). You say you have bins and bins so maybe 5 items each or 10 would work. After that you can offer for them to purchase extra items off of you at whatever you were going to price it at the yard sale. Especially if itâs stuff you bought yourself or friends gave you - if your family pitched in and purchased something large like a crib that would be a different story. (Make sure all your sisters are together though so they can take turns picking - it will make it more fair).
I donât think itâs rude and if you really do have LOADS (which trust me, I believe, Iâve accumulated so many baby clothes for my daughter its ridiculous) then you can easily save some and give them to your sisters. And like someone else said, your sisters will realise theyâll have plenty of other offers for second hand onesies and cute dresses. And you can always give them the old âtheyâre all stained and stink of vomitâ.
I donât think you are being rude at all. I actually kind of find it rude they automatically expect you to hand everything down to them, no offense. I am one of the last to have children between my sister and other close family members and I have never expected them to give me any of their baby things. I think it is very generous of you to even offer the big ticket items like a crib, etc. when you could get some good $ for those.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] what you want! Theyâll get over it. If there is anything family related or special, set aside, but if we are just talking clothesâŚthey sell that in stores.
My husband and I have decided this will be our last child. If we have a girl of course we will use my daughters baby clothes, but if we have a boy we have talked about having a garage sale this summer (after we find out the sex) to sell off some of the MASSIVE amounts of girl baby clothes we have. Iâm talking bins and bins of clothes, a lot of which was never worn because she grew so fast!