Since early childhood, I have never really liked my name. [name_f]My[/name_f] name was a masculine name that over time, had mostly shifted to feminine use (think [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] or Ashley) and I disliked my name because whenever I was like scolded for something, I hated the way it would sound when people were addressing me. I’ve found alot of names that I liked but none of them fit me and the few that I considered changing my name to didn’t fit me completely either.
Recently, looking over my name list, I stumbled across the name [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] and I wondered why I hadn’t considered it before. I really like it and it resonates with me strongly. I do feel that it does fit me and my personal aesthetic.
But I have a few doubts about it. I don’t know how to describe it, but [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] is a very posh name, and I feel that you’d assume the wearer to be white and upper class- both of which I am not. I also have heard people having the impression of snobby, pretentious, and stuck-up girl when they hear [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f]. Furthermore, I don’t think its a frilly name, but it is on the side of the more feminine side - and with a name that’s more feminine + unusual, I’m worried it might detract from my career than if I were to go for a more conventional name. I also worry over the usability/wearability of [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] and the negative associations people have with it (Lavinia from [name_m]Titus[/name_m] Andronicus + The [name_m]Little[/name_m] Princess).
Now, at the end of the day, names are just names and I’m sure plenty of people do just fine having all kinds of names. I don’t know if I’m being too dramatic about it. But I wonder if I’m the right person to wear [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f].
I know what you mean about [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] having posh, white upperclass associations. Idk where you are in the world but I’m in the UK and I’d say [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] carries those vibes here, at least it does for me. Having said that, I think it’s a name that can transcend ethnicities really well & the upperclass vibes feel like quite an outdated, historical hangover that wouldn’t apply to a [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] going about her life and career in 2023. I can see [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] on all types of people with all types of lifestyles. As you say, it’s unusual, so there aren’t really overriding connotations with [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f], more general, malleable vibes. I think it comes down to how comfortable you are wearing the name. Perhaps that’s impossible to imagine until you try it out.
[name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] doesn’t have negative associations for me. I don’t know of the [name_m]Titus[/name_m] Andronicus or [name_m]Little[/name_m] [name_f]Princess[/name_f] Lavinias you mentioned, and snobby isn’t an add on trait with the outmoded upper class association either.
I hope you find some peace with a name you can wear comfortably.
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[name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] could have a slightly ‘posh’ feel in certain contexts - perhaps because I’ve often seen it in classic literature - but I could easily see it on someone who wasn’t upper class or white. It’s similarity in sound/look to names like [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], [name_f]Letitia[/name_f], [name_f]Lorena[/name_f], [name_f]Larissa[/name_f], [name_f]Evelina[/name_f], [name_f]Lydia[/name_f], [name_f]Marina[/name_f], [name_f]Valentina[/name_f], [name_u]Vivian[/name_u], [name_f]Liliana[/name_f], [name_f]Lilia[/name_f], [name_f]Talitha[/name_f] etc make it feel perfectly versatile and international.
For me, [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] rolls easily off the tongue, looks concise and cool, and brings with it a variety of simple nicknames - [name_f]Liv[/name_f], [name_f]Lina[/name_f], [name_f]Nia[/name_f], [name_f]Lia[/name_f], [name_u]Vinnie[/name_u], [name_f]Lana[/name_f] etc.
I’d say, if you feel comfortable wearing [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f], and if it feels like you, go for it. It’s a great choice
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No, I don’t think you are overthinking. Changing your name is a big decision and why should only a certain type of person have a name? I feel like people’s original idea of what a [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] is supposed to be will shift once they meet you and you leave your impression on them.
Lavinia does has slight posh vibes, but there’s something I love about the ‘aesthetic’ of people who do not fit the restrictive, traditional mould of what we expect a name’s bearer to look/be like, you know? I kind of like the disruption of the old-fashioned narrative. ‘Posh’ names are often so because they come from classical myth and literature, and why should those names and that culture be denied to anyone in this day and age? I also don’t think it’s overly frilly or that it would affect you professionally. There are plenty of similar names like Olivia/Lilian/etc which are super popular and you’ve also got great nickname options to subtly change the vibe if you want!
A Little Princess is one of my favourite books and I’d honestly forgotten Lavinia existed as a character 
*Titus Andronicus*
I work with Shakespearean text professionally, so of course Titus is the main association of the name for me and she suffers such an absolutely awful fate that I would not feel able to use it on a child myself. However, if it’s not an association that diminishes the name’s appeal for you then that is what matters. What Shakespeare does with his characters is a big name influence for me but that doesn’t mean it has to affect everyone - I wouldn’t use Ophelia or Cordelia either both of which are lovely and rising in popularity.
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I do have a bit of a grudge against the name [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] due to the [name_m]Little[/name_m] [name_f]Princess[/name_f] thing, but I don’t think that would be most people’s first thought! I think it’s perfectly wearable; lots of frilly feminine names are very popular (Isabella, [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] etc) so it’s not like that’s an unusual vibe. As for the ‘posh white’ point: I do get what you mean, but I feel like that thinking is a vicious circle: certain names are used by uperclass white people, so they get labeled posh white names, so only posh white people use them, and so it goes. I would imagine a [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] to be uperclass, but if I met one who wasn’t, that wouldn’t be my mental image any more! The whole concept of names being posh or not posh is a bit arbitrary (you don’t have to pay more to name your child [name_m]Bartholomew[/name_m] [name_u]Tristan[/name_u] [name_m]Montague[/name_m] II) and hopefully is beginning to break down
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I think [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] is beautiful.
However I do understand the image the name portrays to you. I think [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] does have an upper class ‘white’ image which is a little awkward especially when you’re not a posh white girl who features in made in [name_u]Chelsea[/name_u] on a regular basis. Still I think [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] can transition and work for people of different backgrounds. For me [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] has similar feels to the likes of [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f], [name_f]Aurelia[/name_f], [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] and [name_f]Valentina[/name_f] just like @Greyblue mentioned. Personally I know a black [name_f]British[/name_f] girl from the same working class estate as me called [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f] and my own daughter who is mixed race (black African + white European) and working class is named [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. With this in mind I wouldn’t allow stereotypical images to prevent you from choosing a name you love.
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[name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] is lovely!! 
[name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] gives me very European vibes, I actually met a little [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] on my holidays in [name_f]Italy[/name_f] last year and she made me fall in love with this name for the very first time 
Also as @Parfait_de_Roses mentioned, it is actually kind of a word name for me too - it means “avalanche” in my mother language as well so if you love winter, it can be a plus
From my own experience, a lot of time the actual people make you fall in love with the names even with the ones you’d dislike for some reason, so you could totally make people change their perspective about this name 
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Ok, so personally I love the name! [name_f]My[/name_f] immediate association with it is the character in the Aeneid, who I’d recommend looking into if you haven’t already. I would also recommend reading [name_f]Ursula[/name_f] K. LeGuin’s [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f]!
I like [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f]. I first heard it on Downton [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] so I get those upper crust vibes but I thought it could become more popular. That being said, it is currently more unknown (in the US) and likely quite a change for your current circles. In the future, though, new acquaintances or employers will probably assume you were named that to start with and not think anything about it. Would you use a nickname?
And you probably are overthinking to an extent because it’s a big decision, but you need to wear the name and be comfortable and confident. So if it fits, go for it!
Try giving it on takeout orders first, that’s how we test-drive baby names for spelling and such.
