Am I the only one...

All About Nameberry
1

Am I the only one who feels that nameberry is just overrun with fakers? I see quite a few very popular members who I strongly suspect (and not without evidence) are fake, but it seems like they get the most posts and adoration. I don’t get it. I thought this forum was welcomed to all those who want to discuss names, but it seems like in order to get a decent amount of posts, you have to fake a pregnancy (usually twins or triplets) and you have to come up with ridiculous “names” just to get any attention,and it is really turning me off this site. Whatever happened to just being honest about oneself? I’m upfront: I’m not pregnant and I don’t have kids, but I want to talk about baby names. But it seems as though I’d have to fake a pregnancy and come up with these over the top names (and it is usually the SAME ones that come up OVER and OVER again) in order to get any responses.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way!

2

Well, you are unique… I mean…

Badly timed puns aside, do you have any evidence for these ‘very popular fakers?’

I don’t know what you generally ask about, names or the like, but as far as getting responses go, maybe you just aren’t asking interesting questions. I click on posts that look interesting, and I respond to them if I feel that my input will contribute in some way – often I don’t respond to a post if my input is exactly the same as everyone else’s. I’m not going to throw out another ‘Yeah, it’s a pretty good name’ if there’s already five. Or if I think a person can figure out the answer on their own – names that mean blank, for instance. You can do that yourself, I don’t need to search the internet for you. The actual popularity of blank is another one. If you’re asking normal questions about normal names, you aren’t going to get very many responses because your questions have been asked and the name is a safe choice and someone might have some random thing against it but overall it’s very nice lalalalalala.

I’ve asked some things on here that I thought were perfectly good, interesting questions – and gotten nothing in response. It might be timing. If you live on the [name_f]East[/name_f] coast of [name_u]America[/name_u] and you ask a question at four AM, no one is going to be online to answer it. That’s midnight for me, and 9 AM for [name_f]England[/name_f]. Basically, no one’s lurking to answer your questions.

There are a plethora of reasons for people not getting back to you, but saying that ‘very popular members’ are faking and taking the attention away from your perfectly legitimate questions is a bit of a stretch.

3

There are times when the things people say or the timing of certain events triggers my “yeah, right” reflex, but ultimately it’s not up to me to point out fakers unless irrefutable proof of their fakery lands in my lap. I’m not one to seek out drama, and we don’t all have the [name_m]Blade[/name_m]-ar for detecting trolls :slight_smile: I’m not pregnant either, which I think most of the people who respond regularly on my posts are aware of…but I always feel bad when someone new pops in to say “congratulations on your baby!” because that makes me feel like I wasn’t clear enough that I’m not pregnant, and I hate for someone to feel like they wasted their time helping me since I’m not naming an actual child yet. I love collecting names for my list and coming up with the perfect (albeit still theoretical at this point) combos…I don’t know what I’m going to do when I have a solid top five for each gender…make a top ten?? Come up with a totally new way to interact with NB?

But I digress. [name_f]Do[/name_f] I think NB is overrun with fakers? Not really. The ones that I suspect are fakers are usually come and go. They come, they post a ridiculous story, they never reply to the suggestions OR they haunt their thread and reply to every single one as soon as it’s posted, overreacting to people who question their authenticity, then they disappear after a few days.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] I think fakers detract from the NB experience? I mean, yeah, if you’ve put a lot of time and thought into finding suggestions for someone only to find out they were faking, it does suck. I’m just as happy to help people that aren’t TTC, so I feel like why lie? The ones that really piss me off are the ones who invent horrible circumstances like rape, disease, or miscarriage due to complications. I feel like that trivializes the experiences of people who legitimately went through those circumstances, which is extremely disrespectful.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] I feel like you have to lie/make up a pregnancy/pretend you’re having multiples to get responses on your threads? Absolutely not! I’ve received so many lovely replies to my threads and I’ve never claimed to be pregnant or even TTC yet. Nameberry is the only forum I’ve ever actively participated in, and trolls or no trolls, I find this a safe environment to express my opinions, explore my style, interact with awesome like-minded people, discover new and interesting names for my collections, and help others choose the perfect names for their characters or expected babies or future little ones. You can’t be too suspicious of people because that will ruin the experience for you, and there’s so much fun to be had in this community :slight_smile:

If it helps, I promise that henceforth I will be more active on your threads when I see them, just so you feel encouraged to keep being yourself and continuing your name journey without creating a fake persona to get more attention :slight_smile:

4

There are a few people on here that I’m suspicious of. I just don’t comment on their threads. If you have evidence of a faker, I’d just email [name_f]Pam[/name_f] or [name_f]Linda[/name_f] and let them take care of it. They seem to be pretty good at locking/deleting fake threads or banning fakers once it’s brought to their attention. Like sessha, I generally don’t give a hoot until they start making up tragedies, in which case they deserve to get reamed by the berries. Most seem to come in with far-out stories and fade away within a couple weeks though. I know a couple long time berries have been caught or confessed, but I think most of the regulars are on the up and up. All? Probably not, but as long as they haven’t had 3 years of miscarriages and rapes and such, I don’t care.

If you feel your posts are getting knocked down too quickly for people to notice them, one little ‘bump’ wouldn’t hurt anything. If people still don’t respond, ah well, nobody found it that interesting. :frowning: I’ve had a couple that got little to no comments. It happens. No worries, onward to the next subject/name!

5

I agree, especially about the super unusual names. It seems like threads with more normal names don’t get replied to much anymore and everyone has to “one up” each other on finding an obscure name to post about, just so they’ll get replies. Personally, I try to make sure that I reply to threads with only a few posts because I know how it feels to not have anyone reply to your threads. It’ll be so much easier for me to reply to threads now that the “new posts” button is working again.

Also, I suspect there are a few regulars who are fake but I have no definitive proof so I won’t say anything. :shrug: Then, there are others who I (and others) know are faking but they just won’t admit it.

6

i’ve been on this site everyday for as long as im online and have been reading almost every posts but i only reply to one when i can actually say something new about it. or when i really feel like it:D i usually respond to polls but never comment on my choice. I’ve had posted 2 questions about my lists so far and i kept changing my mind about posting a question at all because im not pregnant yet but just like you i love talking about baby names and i feel like if ask my boyfriends opinion on another name for our future babies he will start running in the other direction :slight_smile: so i would love to discuss it here. I do feel like people would care more if i would be pregnant but i did get a good amount of posts last time and i don t think im gonna be waiting months before i post the next one. Also i did put it into my signiture that im not pregnant so ppl wouldn’t think i am.

7

Okay, reading back over my previous comment I realize what I said didn’t come across the way I meant it to.

Yes, there are definitely fakers on Nameberry. Yes, there are definitely users on Nameberry whose threads get more responses because said users have very unusual tastes in names. I don’t have a problem with that. As a matter of fact, I love that Nameberry has users with very unusual tastes in names. It keeps things interesting. However, I also agree that it’s a bit frustrating when one user whose shortlist includes Aurelius and Peregrine gets 10 pages of replies while another whose shortlist includes Lucas and Brady only gets three or four replies total. I understand that unusual names are more interesting to discuss, but I also understand where the OP is coming from.

8

At the moment, sarahmezz and I are the troll hunters of these boards with provisional authorisation from the admin. If you have any evidence that someone is a troll please PM us and - if we agree - we can report them to the admins. :slight_smile:

9

You go Sessha, I agree with all of this! I don’t have a knack for knowing when people are lying about anything and have more than once commented on a thread that has later been proven to be a troll attempt, but honestly… Who cares? If someone is faking a pregnancy because that makes them feel more justified to discuss names, then my answer to their question will still be the same. I think often enough it’s just newer users to the site who may have been used to hiding their name-obsession for years or don’t yet feel accepted enough to be taken seriously without a “child” to consider. But regardless, they did ask for advice for a reason and if I can give it I am more than happy to. I’m here to talk about names and my list isn’t long enough to shake a stick at, so I really do enjoy giving my opinions to others on the off chance that it brings attention to something they otherwise would have missed. (That being said, the tragic storyline posts definitely are a problem, but luckily that only happens in a small amount of these fake instances.)

10

I agree with these two, especially with the clique thing. It is kind of upsetting when you feel your threads aren’t garnering attention just because you like ‘boring’ names. I’ve actually given up starting threads about my favourite names now because I know I’d only get five or six responses, opposed to the 20 odd pages other people seem to get. But do I think the forums are overrun with fakers? No. I’ve had some suspicions but those people don’t really bother me and some have disappeared, so… meh. But if you have strong evidence, I’d email the admins with it. [name_f]Do[/name_f] us all a favour :slight_smile:

I do think we have copycats though. It’s quite amusing. [name_f]One[/name_f] user comes up with a very unusual name and suddenly that name appears in half a dozen other threads and in the signatures of several users…

11

Why beat around the bush, ladies? It’s obvious who you’re all talking about, and this is starting to turn into kind of a petty thread. “Nobody wants to talk about the names I love, only the sparkly names. No fair.” Well, yes, for the most part. I mean, what else is there to say about [name_f]Jane[/name_f]? [name_f]Jane[/name_f] is great. I love [name_f]Jane[/name_f]. She’s a quiet little beauty. You could have 20 pages of people saying, “oh yes, [name_f]Jane[/name_f] is pretty,” or “a little boring, but yes, I do like it.” Faerydae, on the other hand, is polarizing. You’re going to have tons of responses right off the bat because most people have never heard of it, much less considered it for an actual person! And then you’re going to get the myriad responses letting you know you’re a horrible parent for wanting to name your child Faerydae, followed by the defenders of the name. Before you know it, it’s 20 pages long. You want to talk about [name_f]Anne[/name_f], [name_m]Peter[/name_m], [name_f]Ada[/name_f] and [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]? Fine. I love them all. They’re classics for a reason, everyone for generations loves these names. You really can’t go wrong with them. I mean it when I say I love them all, especially [name_m]Peter[/name_m] and [name_f]Anne[/name_f] from that group. I’d love to meet a little [name_m]Peter[/name_m] and [name_f]Anne[/name_f].

If this were a fashion forum, and someone wanted opinions on a cream cardigan and a wool skirt, you’d get responses like “safe but pretty/classic” whereas the tiger stripe strapless number is going to get tons and tons of comments because you don’t see that everyday. A lot of people are going to hate it, and a lot of people are going to tell you to go rock that dress.

If you’re upset that the obscure names get all the attention, then make it a rule to only comment on the classics. Right now [name_f]Sally[/name_f] is sitting all by herself in the girls’ section with one comment. Go give her some love! When you want to talk about a classic, come up with a really creative hook for the title of your thread. Everyone likes a catchy title. [name_m]Add[/name_m] a photo for inspiration or talk about how the name makes you feel so we feel what you do about the name. Pimp that name out! Make us love it, make us want to say something more than, “yeah, it’s a nice name”.

I’ve already said my piece about fakers and trolls, and I suppose the copycats could sort of fit in there, although personally I love seeing a name I’ve recently talked about get searched/added to signatures, and hope others feel the same way. It’s a nice feeling when the weirdo names you love are loved by other people.

12

I’m not pregnant, and I don’t have any kids either. In the past few months I’ve surprised myself at how much I love talking about names and trust me when I say it will be quite a while before I am expecting… so don’t be shy, there are others like you! Your name advice is just as good as the next. Own it! Besides, this whole site was started by a name-lover way before she had children. Get inspired, not discouraged!

13

This exactly.

14

So if I ask about [name_m]Peter[/name_m], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], and Eeyore for a son, feel free to reply honestly about [name_m]Peter[/name_m] and [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] being boring but Eeyore being so awesome and unique and how I should keep it on my list. I think it’s pretty evident that not everyone on this board likes the classics so perhaps people should speak up and step outside their comfort zone regarding comments to names. Give people the honest feedback they’re looking for. So you think all of the names on someone’s list are boring or grandma names or completely ridiculous. I’m sure you could find at least one name from their list that you like though and if you can, push for it. [name_m]Say[/name_m] “The only one I like is x because y”. If there honestly isn’t a name you like, suggest something different, I know several ladies are great at that (and honestly do a wonderful job of it).

And these yous don’t apply to you, they’re general yous.

15

For me, I tend to get lured in by titles.

16

I think on the subject of certain names garnering more attention that others it’s not a matter of clique, or fakery, persay. It’s more so that most nameberry users aren’t just soon-to-be mothers searching for a name for their little [name_m]Jimmy[/name_m] or [name_f]Lily[/name_f], they’re mostly people who are in love, or obsessed with names, and therefore have a more imaginative or passionate way of looking at names and putting them together.

They won’t be as interested in the everyday commonplace names that aren’t as dynamic as some other names. Also, most people irl aren’t as interested in names at all. I mean, I just asked my 19 year old boyfriend what he’d name his son or daughter and he picked [name_m]Michael[/name_m] and [name_f]Sarah[/name_f]. Whereas I, a 20 year old obsessed name lover would choose something like [name_f]Alessandra[/name_f], and possibly [name_u]Eden[/name_u] for a boy. He laughed at the name Michaelanglo, whereas I gush over it.
I wouldn’t go to the people I know personally to discuss my love for [name_u]Eden[/name_u] on a boy, or [name_m]Caspian[/name_m], or Kol, or even [name_f]Alessandra[/name_f] on a daughter, but I’d come here in a heartbeat.

I think when you look at it in that perspective, certain posts don’t seem so fake anymore.

17

Yes I used to have my age in my signature so people would know I wasn’t pregnant and my taste isn’t too unusual but when I get annoyed mostly when a new member joins up and posts that they have a baby or say meet [name_f]Freda[/name_f] born in [name_u]June[/name_u]. I think those are fakers especially when there babies have really unusual names.

18

Totally agree.

What more can you say about the classic names? The wording is definitely important:
‘What do you think of [name_m]John[/name_m]?’ will get you 5 responses
‘I like [name_m]John[/name_m] but worry that it’s too stale and boring. Is [name_m]John[/name_m] dated? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you find it boring?’ will get you at least 3 pages about the beauty of [name_m]John[/name_m].

I like the more ‘out of the box’ names so I’m more likely to respond to those threads. I especially try to respond to the really out there posts because I know the OP will get lambasted. In general Nameberry is quite conservative and biased (in regards to unisex names). Out there names get lots of responses but remember that a good number of them are negative. Would you rather a handful of kind words or a truckload of ‘It’s terrible’, ‘Your child will hate you’, ‘He will be teased’, and etc?

19

Why is it that when someone talks about unique names, it is in the context of outrageous names? A name does not not have to be [name_m]John[/name_m] or [name_f]Jane[/name_f] in order for it to be different, but as someone else has mentioned…Faerydae…seriously? And yes, that “name” has been mentioned, along with others such as Firefly, [name_f]Rapunzel[/name_f], [name_f]Happy[/name_f] and other over the top ridiculous names. You can be “unique” without going over the deep end, and one should be given more than a couple responses without having to be pregnant or have a wild taste in names.

20

[name_m]Caspian[/name_m], [name_f]Alessandra[/name_f] and [name_u]Eden[/name_u] aren’t over the top in the slightest. I know a couple of Alessandras, [name_u]Eden[/name_u] isn’t so out there in the sea of Aidens and Jaydens and [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] is a literary name found in the fantasy epic by C.S. [name_m]Lewis[/name_m].