I hate to ask this but I’m struggling with the fact that my newly married brother in law and his wife are pregnant. I’ve been married 3 years and had a miscarriage in [name_f]October[/name_f] on Halloween night. I would have given birth in [name_u]June[/name_u]. I had Not one, not two, but three sister in laws that gave birth in [name_f]April[/name_f]/[name_f]May[/name_f]. And I was sad but okay because they were already pregnant. But This new pregnancy is REALLY throwing me off. I don’t know. I need reassurance or help or something.
I know what you feel. I had a couple of miscarriages before I succesfully conceived my son, at the same time that my sister and sister-in-law were all having babies around me and there was pressure from family due to my age and from my ex-husband’s family too. I think the secret is to find different hobbies and distractions and really try not to stress and pressure yourself into conceiving. When the time is right, you will get your baby. Good luck!
Yes, I miscarried [name_u]July[/name_u] 1st of last year - my first and only pregnancy. It is extremely hard to be happy for others who seem to fall pregnant easily. It really bothers me when people complain about pregnancy related things or those who are very vocal about planning their next pregnancy. I have friends and coworkers who are having their 2nd, 3rd, even 4th baby and it’s hard not to have that overwhelming feeling of “Why can’t that be me?!” I even have a really good friend who had her 1st baby the same week I miscarried, she knows what I went through but she acts like nothing happened - she’s never asked me how I’m doing, etc. Also, a cousin had her 3rd baby on my “due date” which was really difficult. Now all she does is complain about having 3 children and no time for herself. Ugh. If you ever need to chat you can message me, I know exactly how you feel.
I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It was horrible. I blamed myself. I also didn’t have anyone to talk to, because I didn’t know anyone who had miscarried. I felt like I was overreacting. Luckily my husband understood and he was a big support.
I can imagine how hard it must be to see everyone have babies and not being able to get pregnant yourself. I’m so sorry that’s happening to you. I wish you all the best.
We are here for you! My oldest daughter is 12 and my youngest is 2. We had 2 miscarriages in 2006 and 2007 and decided to stop trying after that. Between then and 2012 I had several friends have children, I gained 15 nieces and nephews and it was very difficult. We started TTC again in 2012 and had one more miscarriage before we conceived [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f]. We struggled to conceive our current pregnancy but we are in our third trimester. I am so sorry to hear your struggle, you will get through I promise!
I miscarried my first pregnancy also, early on, about 8 weeks I think (can’t quite remember). It was what they call a ‘missed miscarriage’ which meant that it was only picked up on the ultrasound that everything had stopped developing and I had to take drugs to make my body actually react. I basically did a self-administered medical abortion at home. It was terrifying and overwhelming and at the time I was very upset. Other family members were pregnant at the time for me also.
I didn’t blame myself and tried my best to take the approach that something was wrong with the pregnancy from the get go and it would never have come to term, so it was best that it happened early. I also took comfort in the fact that it is so, so common. I know everyone approaches these things in different ways and overall my experience was not so traumatic compared to many miscarriage stories I have heard, but I honestly am over it. I’ll never forget that it happened, but I don’t feel that I lost a baby or anything and although I feel a little twinge of sadness when it comes to mind, I do not think it was a major tragedy for me.
It did very much affect my initial feelings for my second pregnancy, though. I was very ‘on edge’ about it, frightened that I would miscarry again, and didn’t start getting excited until the first trimester was well and truly over. Luckily everything turned out fine.
I had two confirmed miscarriages though I know there was a third unconfirmed mc before my first child, two more miscarriages before my second child, had my third child, then another miscarriage at which point I got an IUD. It was very hard to hear about others pregnancies and see the little newborns. And I am actually struggling with it again as my desire to have another child is just not going away, others have little babies or are expecting and I feel, well, cheated. I’m not, I have three beautiful children and so many are never blessed with a single child. I just always dreamed of a big family…nowhere in those dreams was even the thought of having difficulty conceiving or carrying a child. Infertility is a hard journey, it leaves it’s mark sadly.
As you can tell, unfortunately you are not alone. We conceived our daughter after 9 months or so of trying and the pregnancy was textbook, totally smooth sailing. She is now 13 months old. I didn’t think miscarriage would ever touch me, I’m relatively young and healthy and the first one was a piece of cake. Then I got pregnant last [name_u]December[/name_u] and had symptoms worse than my first. I was getting ready to have two babies 13 months apart! We went to our first ultrasound and there was nothing there. I had a blighted ovum, which means the sac forms but no embryo ever forms. I felt like I got hit by a train. I never ever expected it. I had to get a d&c at 12 weeks on new years eve. A few months later I got pregnant again and was super excited, thinking lightning doesn’t strike twice right?! (again shows how under-educated I was on this particular topic…) Around 8 weeks I had some light bleeding, which started to get worse so I went to the doctor and was told I was miscarrying.
Both so devastating. The emotional trampling your heart and mind take are just unbearable sometimes. We are starting to ttc again this cycle and I am optimistic but scared at the same time. My sister is currently pregnant and due in [name_u]December[/name_u] (she had a miscarriage with her first pregnancy) and although I still believe another baby is in our future, it still stings when I see her or hear her talk about baby stuff. I can only imagine what someone in your situation feels like. It’s not fair and it’s certainly not fun.
My doctor told me after my first mc that if a woman is pregnant four times she will have two children. Due to technology advances with blood tests, sono machines and at home pregnancy tests, we are able to detect pregnancy waaaay sooner than ever in the past. Because of this the rates of mc have gone up. Years ago when someone had a late, heavier than normal period they would just brush it off. Now we know that in those circumstances we’ve had a miscarriage (what happened to me the second time). It’s kind of like a double edged sword in my opinion. Yeah the technology and the ability to know right away is great, but it opens the door to a lot of heartache for us too.
I guess my only advice is remind yourself of the positives in your life. Take time to cherish yourself and your relationships with family and friends. [name_f]Do[/name_f] what makes you happy. Take every month, every week, every day on its own. We are unfortunately so out of control in this realm and we never know what our bodies will do to us and for us.
I started trying to conceive my first child last year. I had my first miscarriage in [name_u]December[/name_u], then a second miscarriage in [name_u]March[/name_u]. I’m now pregnant for a third time.
Miscarriages are heartbreaking. You aren’t alone.
I miscarried with my first pregnancy. We tried for nearly 8 months. At the 12 week ultrasound, they couldn’t detect a heartbeat, so I was given medication to help my body carry through with the miscarriage.
The miscarriage was awful, such a let down, and I felt so alone in my grief. People unintentionally say the most awful things, like “you’re young, just try again”, or “it wasn’t meant to be”, or “at least trying is fun…we got pregnant so quickly that we didn’t have time to enjoy it!”. I couldn’t bear to be around babies, or listen to pregnant women in the staff room at work exchanging stories.
After another 6 months of TTC, we went to a fertility clinic. Many tests later, it was discovered that I had a growth in my uterus. I had a surgery to remove it, and was reassured that in 99 cases out of 100, it was benign. Well, apparently I was the 100th case, because I was put on a hormone therapy, told I had a 25% chance of it being cancer, and was scheduled for a second surgery. After weeks of waiting for the results of the second I was told that it wasn’t cancer, and that I could start TTC again. It felt too good to be true, after the experiences of the past 18 months. But…
I conceived the next month, and saw baby’s heartbeat for the first time a few weeks ago. Such a feeling of joy and relief, though I still feel so worried most days that something will go wrong. I’m not usually a worrier, but after everything that has happened, I have this cloud of fear above me all the time. I am so envious of women who can take their pregnancies for granted.
Basically, what I want to say is that it’s OKAY to grieve, for as long as you need to. There isn’t any time line for something like this. And, it’s okay to feel angry, jealous, frustrated etc about pregnancies/babies in your social circle or family. I certainly felt that way, for a long time. Most importantly, you aren’t alone. Everyone’s situation is unique, but so many women have experienced something similar.
I am so sorry for what you are currently experiencing. I feel for you, and I wish you all the best.