So from day one its little a never winning battle with Grandma about my child raising. First it was letting the babe nap during the day in her swing(which I imagine can’t be that great for their growing bodies), I gave in reluctantly & now she barely fits & Im struggling to get her to nap else where.
My main struggle now is my debate on the fact I don’t think she should be sat in front of the tv, period, at least for 2 years. My mom thinks in crazy & days I should go raise in the woods like a poor amish baby & that she likes it (tv). As much as I try if I leave the room its back on, if I run to the store she uses it to put the baby down for a nap (which will be a bigger nightmare when she don’t want to nap without her tv!).
I understand it can be somewhat stimulating for them & maybe there are some good shows but I don’t want a child who needs it or will throw a tantrum even she can’t watch it, more so I rather her build her imagination not watch a screen. With how tech is today she will eventually pick up on it I just want her to fund pleasure in simplicity & be a kid, am I the only one alone on this?
I think this is a touchy subject for a lot of people.
Personally I don’t like TV. We got rid of our cable. We do have Netflix, but I would be happy if we disconnected that service as well. There are a few shows or movies I like but if its really important to me that I see them I can usually find somewhere to stream them online or whatever. My family always grew up with 1 hour or less of TV per day, and the TV was always off at dinner time so we could just sit and yak with each other (unless there was something important on like Hockey Playoffs or something). My husband’s family is TV crazy. I have even been over to their place for Thanksgiving dinner and they spent the meal just sitting there in front of the TV, eating their dinner and not really talking.
Before we got married I told my husband one of my expectations of our marriage was to have family dinners. I want a chance to talk to each other, to bond together, and to enjoy our meal without staring at a screen the whole time.
I would never use TV to help put my baby down for a nap or anything like that… whats wrong with just popping in a soothing CD or something? Whatever you decide, its YOUR child. Be firm with your grandmother. If you don’t want your child watching TV she shouldn’t be watching TV.
I’d like to add, Azula would ONLY sleep in her baby swing (even at night) until she was more than 6 months old. She is fine.
We are TV free, but not 100% screen time free. We do Netflix & Hulu, ect. It’s a rare treat that I put on Curious [name_m]George[/name_m] or Caillou for my 1.5 year old daughter. When we do play shows it isn’t during times for rest, it’s usually with a snack in the high chair while I do some cleaning up!
Unfortunately when you are relying on family members for childcare it’s hard to set lifestyle rules outside of the norm. When my daughter is at my mother’s & grandmother’s house the TV is constantly blaring, the food is processed, early bedtime is not a concern and the amount of toys from various garage sales & consignment shops is enough for a family with 10 kids…to my mom & grandma this is what makes their house FUN! My daughter is rarely watched by them, just the occasional date night which is usually at our house anyway, this isn’t cause I am horrified by their lifestyle, it’s cause they’re usually unable to babysit & I am a SAHM anyhow.
My opinion is it’s up to you to decide what’s best for baby, but if you have a lot of rules to enforce that your mom won’t follow you need to seek childcare that is easier to be boss to…you do get what you pay for
For the amount of time my daughter is with the grandmas I am at peace with the chocolate and the cheese doodles and the television. I know they would never change their lifestyle for anything, especially cause to them I am the weirdo!
I hope I won’t be the kind of mum who puts the telly on whenever my children are making a fuss. I’m going to let them watch tv/netflix/dvds etc, but not as background noise. Well, easy to say when you’ve got once baby. I’m sure I’ll use the screen a lot when there are more children and they’re older, but I’d be very careful what I’d let them watch. No [name_f]Dora[/name_f] [name_u]Explorer[/name_u] at my house.
My daughter’s only almost six months so it’s not really an issue yet, but she is fascinated by the tv. I’m sick at the moment, so have been spending the day in bed watching movies, and tonight she watched a bit of Sleepy Hollow with me. She thought it was hilarious.
Thanks taz & katiedenberg im glad that not everyone believes the tv should be a baby sitter… I mean I grew up with tvs but I didnt have a cellphone or a computer to later & the thought of my child lugging around a ipad instead of playing outside without tech Horrifies me, & the screaming car rides if there is no dvd player, I understand its a great outlet & easy soothing but ii rather not get to that point.
Due to the situation im in im a sahm too which is wonderful except its with my own mom who makes me feel like a child. [name_f]Every[/name_f] rule I try to establish she has her own way. I mean i totally appreciate everything from her & I get she loves to spoil her already but itd be different like you guys said it was visits not day to day.
Since I do work from home &im normally the one going to the store thats mainly when she goes agaist what I want done, all its doing is making it harder to un establish the routien & its horribly annoying. I try to give in some but i feel like unless i move out its going to be a never ending battle of how i want my child To be.
& im happy to hear that your daughter is well after staying in the swing like that, howd you break her from it? Mine is only 4 months old & naps during the day, I used toget her to nap on the bed with me but now she wont even do that… thank god she sleeps perfect on a bed at night for about 12 hrs with about 2 quick feedings.
Awh ottilie yes I think they are all entertained by it, im glad to hear you also like it in moderation. I know it is helpful when you have your hands full, but just like ya said background noise & all. . When they are very little theyre learning so much I rather her do something else than be glued to the screen. My mom makes me feel like im so horrible over it.
corvet - it took some work that’s for sure. she is a front/side sleeper so once we figured that out it wasn’t so bad. she still hates to be put on her back. she still usually cries herself to sleep at night, but its not those blood-curdling screams it used to be. i got blackout curtains for her room and some white noise seems to help (like a fan/heater/humidifire or something).
We did pretty good about no TV when my son was very little. However he stopped napping at 2.5 and I need to get things done so he gets some TV time in the afternoons. I don’t put him to bed with a TV but he goes up to his room for some quiet time and if he stays in his room for a little while (we aim for an hour at least) then he can have some TV time when he comes down. We keep it under 2 hours a day for the most part although last week my daughter was sick and we were leaving the next day for a vacation so I let him watch way too much TV so that I could pack and cuddle my daughter.
My daughter doesn’t really watch TV yet. It’s one sometimes but she tends to ignore it. My son watches it on the ipad a lot sometimes with headphones. He mostly watches Fireman [name_u]Sam[/name_u] and [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] on Netflix or Popular Mechanics for Kids on DVD. I definitely use it as a babysitter at times but my son has never been very good at playing on his own. When I only had one child that was fine but with two kids there are times that I need him to be occupied so I can do other things. We did do a whole week without TV a couple weeks ago since he was misbehaving, it’s always the first privilege he looses when he misbehaves. My daughter barely napped all week since he kept playing too loudly and waking her up. Besides TV he only will play quietly for so long before he starts getting louder.
My feelings on TV is that it should be a privilege and limited however I don’t think watching TV is detrimental. I try to follow the American Academy of Pediatrics rules (none before two and up to two hours a day afterwards). My in-laws are the type to always have the TV on all day even if nobody is watching it. I do request that they keep the inappropriate shows to a off (my son watched a woman being raped on [name_m]Law[/name_m] and Order SVU while over there one day) but otherwise I just make sure my kids aren’t over there all the time. I figure if they spend a couple hours a week there tops then it’s really not that much extra TV and both of my kids tend to ignore it. When it comes to people babysitting I do dislike it if they sit my kids in front of the TV either too young or for too long but if I’m not paying them to watch my kids I don’t say anything. If I’m getting free babysitting I can handle my kids getting a little extra TV since it’s not like it would be happening all the time.
My daughter is only 3 months old and is fascinated by tv. She’s generally got an attention span of ten minutes max, but stared at the tv for a half hour yesterday while I was watching a show - NOT a habit I want to get into. It can’t be good for her developing eyes, either
Her dad ALWAYS has the tv going, and I feel it’s going to become a point of contention soon. I’d be fine not having a tv whatsoever, and he’d like to have one in every room, so we’re certainly going to need to compromise
We don’t do TV (or computers or iPhones or tablets) for our 22 month old son. We have let him watch a little [name_f]Sesame[/name_f] [name_m]Street[/name_m] when he got sick and we had to keep him still. And I show him a short (five minutes or so) video when I clip his fingernails, maybe once every couple of weeks. In general though, he doesn’t see any. I stay home with him and I do cook dinner every night and clean and stuff. When he was younger, I wore him in a carrier while I cleaned. Now he either “helps” or plays by himself. I used to cook dinner during naptime, but he “helps” me cook now. It does make everything take longer, but it’s fun.
We do plan to start watching TV and movies with him when he is older, old enough to have a conversation about what he is seeing at least.
We don’t have a TV set, but my husband and I watch shows on Netflix in our room on the computer after the baby goes to bed. I don’t worry about him seeing TV other places- he sees it when we visit family, for instance, and I don’t ask them to turn it off or anything. But in your situation, it sounds like your mom is living there, too. If she is providing regular childcare, I think that it makes sense to have a conversation with her about why you don’t want your baby watching TV. If you’ve already done this, maybe try something like, “I really appreciate all of your help, but the doctor told me that she can’t watch TV until she is at least two, and then it needs to be less than X amount and only X programs.” I blame the doctor for all kinds of stuff- no, sorry, [name_m]Lev[/name_m] really does have to ride in a carseat. The doctor says so. That kind of thing.
I just want to add here that whatever anyone else decides for their kids about screen time is fine- I am sure that everyone here is making the best possible decisions for their kids. I feel like this subject can get really judgmental really quickly and that is not my intent at all.
None of my children are big tv viewers. I don’t see a need for the babies (8 months) to watch at all. There are plenty of other ways to entertain and interact with them. The toddlers (3 in December) watch a few hours a week for something different to do. My older girls are about the same - a few hours a week- maybe a little more if we do movie night (parents + big girls) one evening or they have movie night/afternoon with friends. They like playing, reading, doing other things much more than tv. Me… now I’m personally a tv junkie. I really only watch it in bed at night once the kids go to sleep though – especially because that’s my alone time and my DH works nights a few times a week. I wish I wasn’t such a junkie, but I’m glad the kids aren’t into it.
As far as handling the situation with your mother… I’ve learned over the years that you do have to put your foot down as a parent. It’s tough. I’ve had little situations like this that are easy to handle and steer how you want – but other much larger situations where sadly I have had to tell my mother she can’t see my children because of things she has done/not done. I know that sounds harsh, but if my husband and I decide something for OUR kids… their sitters need to comply with our wishes. For something like tv viewing… I would do a few things. If it was with a really young child (under 2 or 3) I would be more active in planning my mother’s time with the baby. Get a new toy, a few new books (or borrow from library), or see if they can take a walk. that way your mom has something specific that you are suggesting she do - maybe even ask her if SHE would like to take baby to the library or get some books ahead of time- that way she feels more involved. If the child is older 3+, I would probably ignore a little tv time… I’d adapt the kids tv time in other situations when grandma is not around so the total tv viewing wasn’t getting beyond what I thought was reasonable. I hope I explained that well- lol sorry - i’m reading that back and it sounds confusing.
Sorry, it just occurred to me that our mom might be watching your little one all day and in that case, it would be difficult to plan the entire day for her… so maybe just another reminder about your preferences about her tv viewing and then some suggestions on things that your dd especially enjoys doing as ideas.
Kaitedenberg, thats good to know I randomly try weaning her off th swing but she eventually gets so upset & overtired I feel terrible esp when the tears come, she never really cried or whined from when she was born if anything its a temper. Lol
Leadmythoughts, thats how this house is esp whn my step dad is home every tv is going witj no one watchong them youd think they’re on for the dogs… does he thinks its a big deal for the baby or no?
Feberin, I like the idea of it as a possible provide if it’s going to be used & like I believe I sod before I understand even extra help is needed, it can be hard with even one baby to get things done around the house! Im surprised (in a good way) your younger daughterdoesn’t have interest for the tv, most kids are mesmerized.
Tarynkay, I’m slowly trying to get used to doing things with her around the house. I’m glad it seems a little raid for you at the older age, Maybe I should invest in a sling. I don’t think it’s think its as big of a deal when it’s not readily available. I also agree with your last statement about others & their decisions about it everyone has their system that works for them.
I guess my overall concern is getting to consumed by tv leading into other gadgets in today’s world & not having a free imaginative playful childhood where your not consistently bored if you don’t have a gameboy.
I agree. I don’t have children yet, but I definitely don’t want the TV on all day. It’s different when they’re toddlers and you let them watch Play School or something, but when they’re babies it’s unnecessary. I’m the sort of person who doesn’t like telly to be on during the day at all. My husband and I only watch at night. However, my [name_m]SIL[/name_m] has a ten month old and whenever I’m at their house she’s got the telly on. I mean, she’s watching crappy shows like The [name_m]Bachelor[/name_m] in the middle of the day. Her mother (my [name_f]MIL[/name_f]) is the same way. She sings the Coles jingle to my niece like it’s a nursery rhyme (Coles is a supermarket chain). I haven’t ever said anything, but I will when it’s my child!
I grew up without a TV. Not because my parents were “anti TV” or anything, we just lived really deep in the woods where cable didn’t exist and only 1 channel came in clear enough to even see. When I was a kid, every time we went somewhere with a TV with cable or satellite, I was in heaven. It was literally the best thing in the world to me. I vividly remember staying the night at my grandma’s when I was about 8, and staying up until almost daylight watching Cartoon Network because there was a TV in the room. I obsessed over it. [name_m]Even[/name_m] now, I love watching TV. It’s definitely one of my vices/addictions in life that I have to attribute to my childhood. Of course it’s not cool if a parent is setting their kid in front of the TV for hours and hours a day and not interacting with them, but is an episode of [name_f]Sesame[/name_f] [name_m]Street[/name_m] gonna hurt them? No. In fact, [name_u]Rowan[/name_u] loves watching [name_f]Sesame[/name_f] [name_m]Street[/name_m] and Curious [name_m]George[/name_m] and her favorite is [name_m]Daniel[/name_m] [name_m]Tiger[/name_m]'s Neighborhood, and she has learned SO MUCH from them. She says new words all the time, she counts, she sings and dances. I also think it’s given her a sense of humor (not that she wouldn’t of had one, especially in this household) She cracks herself up all the time by pretending to be a monkey ([name_m]George[/name_m]) and she laughs like the [name_m]Count[/name_m] from [name_f]Sesame[/name_f] [name_m]Street[/name_m].
I’ve seen it all too much…hippie parents not allowing TV or sugar or something and the kid becomes addicted and unhealthily obsessed with it. My best friend had an unnatural addiction to sugar and would literally binge when she came to my house. You can raise healthy kids and still let them watch cartoons and eat cookies once in awhile.
@corvet - my BF did say he doesn’t think we should let her watch the TV just so we could finish watching a show, and said things like he doesn’t like how into the TV she is…so I think he understands how it’s not good for her at this age.
I think he knows its best for her as she gets bigger to not have constant tv, and he’ll suck it up and get over his screen addiction for her sake.
Also really agree with rowangreeneyes, I used to nanny a boy with no TV at home and he was mesmerized by any and all screens we came across. If we went to a store playing TV with no sound I’d have to drag him away.
I think it’s also a personality thing. My brother and I grew up together with the same tv experience and he was unhealthily obsessed with TV (like would cry every time it turned off, wouldn’t want to leave the house) and I could never sit through more than a half hour or so a day
Cruncymama, I used to be a tv junkie too but now that she stays in my room im lucky if I can even use my phone once its bedtime otherwise shes up lol…&Thank you for the advice, I do live with my mom so we butt heads all day, I usually get alot less work done because I either hate leaving the babe to entertain herself or im basically standing over my mom’s shoulder. She also loved playing her videos on the comuter instead of singing or reading.
Sarahmezz I understand… I don’t see what a child can be learning from the bachelor &similar shows yet I’m sure they will watch just as attentively. & that’s funny about the coles singing, here in the state I wonder how much longer nursery rhymes will last I have friends who rap to their babies instead
Rowangreeneyes I see where your coming from with to much restriction, & moderation. . I know I won’t be able to withhold it for to long, my family is gadget crazy &have tvs all over, I just erfer her infanthood spent elsewise. The whole hippie thinf reminds me of my uncles he feeds his daughter well no junk whatso ever, I wouldn’t even know how to shop like him… & the count hing is too cute id be amused
Leadmythoughts that’s good he gets it, I see what your saying about changing for the kid my one friend doesn’t work now& she just sits there watching tv on her lap in silence, that’s not evwn really bonding at that age but I guess it didn’t kill them. Lol & that’s interesting about how you & your brother are complete opposites about it. I guess everyone is different. Maybe as a first time mom I’m just over thinking everything & trying to over do it.
I pick my battles, to be honest. A little bit of age appropriate tv won’t turn them into comatose zombies.
As a general rule, we don’t have the tv on in the mornings. This is mainly because I do most of the housework in the morning, between 9am and 12pm, and I’d probably only end up getting distracted myself. They play in the living room while I clean (if its a weekend, otherwise [name_f]Amelie[/name_f] is in school), listening to the radio.
The tv generally gets turned on after [name_f]Amelie[/name_f] finishes school and after her homework (if she gets any) is finished. [name_f]Daisy[/name_f] is fascinated by the moving pictures but isn’t bothered when it gets turned off. [name_f]Amelie[/name_f] is quite the fan of Playhouse Disney and I’m more than happy for her to watch an hour or so of it while I get the dinner ready.
So, its generally about an hour on weekdays but it could be more on weekends, especially if its too miserable to go to the park for the afternoon. I see nothing wrong with it so long as they are stimulated in other ways. A lot of children’s shows are educational in small amounts.
I love nothing better than sitting on the couch with the girls on a [name_m]Saturday[/name_m] evening watching [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] and the Chocolate Factory ([name_f]Amelie[/name_f]'s current favourite) with some snacks. Its great for bonding and relaxing as a family and I have no issue with it seeing as they spend the majority of their time doing other things.
So, I did some research on this, as I was concerned about my 3 month old’s interest in the TV and my parent’s advice to let her watch TV so I can get stuff done…
The AAP and other pediatric societies recommend you don’t let a child watch TV AT ALL and even limit their exposure to it as background noise. Studies have linked being exposed to just one hour of television per day, even if they aren’t actively watching (example: mom has it on while feeding baby, etc) is linked to poorer sleep in infants, increased fussiness, delayed ability to self soothe, shorter attention span, significant language delays at 14 months, and obesity later in life.
I can see those coming from the tv… its aggravating because my mom thinks its great teachers her number ect. Sometimes now she wont nap without it & she always turns it on for her. I’ll have to show her the recommendations & maybe then it won’t be a battle.
I’m not a mom, but my parents didn’t let me watch tv until I was 3, and at that point it was only educational shows and zaboomafoo. Once I was in kindergarten or grade 1, my grandma let me watch tv at her house, and eventually my parents let me watch. I remember when I was very little (3 at oldest) if they were watching tv and I was with them, I’d lay on my stomach with my ears hidden so I couldn’t hear or watch.
