[name]Just[/name] wondering if anyone else out there is Waiting to Try?
My OH and I weren’t trying, but not preventing (leaving it in the hands on nature, for lack of a better term) for the last couple of months but we’ve decided to put off actively trying for the near future while we get things in order.
I’m not feeling good about it but I know its for the best. I was thinking this could be a support thread of sort for anyone in a similar position, because I’ve been finding it difficult dealing with the fact that I won’t be pregnant any time soon.
I’ve been wanting kids for a long time. Around a year ago, my FI started really wanting kids too. We considered trying then. I think it was a bit of influence from our friends who had a baby last [name]August[/name] But anyways, we decided it was best to wait until next summer at least. We get married next [name]March[/name], so I’d like to focus our time and money on that for right now. I am in two weddings next [name]June[/name], so I’d prefer to be able to drink at the weddings, and not feel like crap (since I wouldn’t be far along if I got pregnant soon after getting married, I might be dealing with the morning sickness and such).
If it happens, it happens, but I’m still on the pill anyways. There are other factors too… like I work part time right now until something full time opens up, and my fiance has a job an hour away that he hates, so he’s trying to find something else. I’d also like to get healthier and maybe get closer to getting our own house instead of this apartment. I’m 99% sure there is mold in the walls since the door frames leak during heavy rain (like, the bathroom and bedroom door frames, not anything against an outside wall). Plus we’ve unfortunately had roaches in the past thanks to the disgusting neighbors. It’s fine now that they moved, but this isn’t where I’d like to bring a baby home to. It works, but it’s not ideal.
Anyways, you’re not alone. I had a pregnancy “scare” a few months ago and actually got really sad when my period finally showed up. I see all my friends posting picture on FB of their baby bumps and cute little kids and I just can’t wait until that’s me. The only thing I think getting me through it… or maybe making it worse… is our friends’ kids. They are adorable and they are like a niece and nephew to me since I don’t have any. It makes me smile when I walk into their house and their youngest gets this huge smile and wants me to hold him! Someday I’ll have a little adorable kid like that… just not yet.
[name]Just[/name] remember that it’s better for the baby in the long run to wait until you feel ready enough. Of course things can work out with an unexpected pregnancy, but you have to admit it’s not ideal (please don’t take that as a stab at anyone who has an unplanned child. I have friends with unplanned kids, and they are great mothers/fathers who love their kids. But one of my best friends has to FIGHT for child support because her ex works under the table a lot, and he just won’t pay. It also might be a pain to get him to sign over rights so her soon to be husband can adopt the child. She’s a loved and wonderful girl, but the situation is stressful). But if you can get things in order, whatever that might be, it’s for the best. Good luck!
DH and I have wanted to start trying for over a year but made a conscious decision to put it off until I could graduate from school. It has been a long wait. We will both turn 30 this year, and we both would really like a big family, as we come from big families.
So, instead, we plan. We design the nursery, pick out names, even go to stores and look at furniture. I have already bought some maternity clothes and stored them in the back of the closet.
I will graduate next [name]May[/name], so we have agreed to start trying this fall. Of course, we’re hoping that I will get pregnant right away and deliver just after my graduation.
Things have a way of working out though. DH just got an unexpected raise, and we feel comfortable with the thought of me staying home with the baby for a bit, before starting work. Also, we don’t live near any family, but we found out that DH’s mother is going to retire next year. And since my mother has the summers off, we will have plenty of help with a summer 2013 due date.
The wait is still hard. While we are waiting, I had a genetics test done. DH’s family is Irish, and we have a nephew with Cystic Fibrosis. We talked a lot about it and decided that we would get tested. The results were negative, so we don’t have to think anymore about it.
Thanks for sharing your story and allowing me the chance to share mine.
Me and my BF are waiting to get some things in order. Originally we were doing the not trying, not preventing sort of deal. But with things coming up, we’ve decided its for the better to wait.
We’ve both got pretty good jobs, but he was mentioning wanting to change. He’s been working at the same place since he was a teen, it pays very well and offers all the hours he needs to pay the bills and such. But he’s been talking about going into the military, and he doesn’t want to leave me alone with a baby while he’s gone for training and such. Mostly he doesn’t want to miss out on the baby growing up and he wants to be there to watch him/her grow and be a part of its life <3
So we’ve got our funds saved up and a decent place to stay… We’re just waiting to see what my BF decides on the job department. He is happy where he is, but he thinks he’d be happier in the military. But since he’s so on the fence I’ve just got to wait and see.
I’m totally ready myself though… and so is my mother. Hehe. She’s been hinting at wanting this for a while, she even bought a little outfit and sent it to me Blatant hinting, haha. Oh well. I’ve crocheted this beautiful sweater while waiting, its almost finished and I already have another item I plan to start working on after. As hard as it is sometimes to wait, I’ve been trying to make the best of it. I am putting aside some extra money for a little vacation with me and my BF so we can spend some extra time together and all.
Sign me up too!!
We won’t be trying for a baby until 2015!!! We are both students, he’ll be done in two years, I’ll be done in 3, we are getting married in [name]December[/name] of 2014. My IUD ‘expires’ in [name]September[/name] of 2015, but I’m not sure if I am going to leave it in for that long even.
Anywho, right now the current plan is to get the IUD removed around that [name]September[/name], and then not try, and not prevent for the rest of 2015 and officially start trying in 2016 if nothing happens before then. However, I would love to get enough time for a) Maternity Benefits, and b) On the job experience before leaving to take care of a baby for however long. So I’m sort of torn on those details for now.
I would also like to go traveling first, own a home and do so many other things, but I have had crazy baby fever for 6+ years now, and all my friends are now trying to conceive or are about to start trying, and my nephew was just born two months ago, and Andrews close cousin just had her son very early this morning, and I am doomed to be surrounded by babies and baby things, and baby talk for quite awhile now and it’s just driving me crazy at this point. I really want a baby, and it makes it all the harder to wait. I know it’s best to wait, since it’s really just not the best option right now for the way we want to raise our kids and have a family, but I can’t get those mommy dreams out of my head!
Me too! You are not alone! It’s hard, but it’s worth it. Hang in there until you’re both ready and enjoy eachother! That’s what I’m trying to do.
Oh, and nameberry-ing too.
I reeeeeeally want to try now, but unless something unexpected happens (a nice surprise!) we are waiting until [name]December[/name] to TTC. I have serious baby fever, though! This is a hard club to be in.
So good to know I’m not the only one. Thank you for sharing your stories, ladies. They were very comforting.
Its the uncertainty that I find most difficult - We have absolutely no date in mind yet. Our original plan was mid 2013, but now my SO keeps bringing up going abroad travelling for a [name]Summer[/name], which I’m quite sure we wouldn’t be able to do until 2014.
We seem to be on totally different pages and its getting me down. If I had a rough date, even if it was 2014 or 2015, I’d be okay, because I’d be able to plan and look forward to it. But his non committal to a date is really getting me down.
Me too!!! I probably won’t be having my first kid until we get a house which won’t be for another year! Then we might want to wait another year to make sure we have some money saved up, so I won’t be trying till late 2013 or 2014, might even wait until 2015!
I’m not in a hurry though, I don’t think I’m quite ready. There are times I really want a baby and then I see a screaming kid and say nope, I don’t want one, lol
I totally understand the uncertainty getting you down! We’ve passed a couple of our planned dates already! We’re glad we decided to wait but we still don’t have a date or even a year planned because we have mentioned travelling too. At least we decided that we want to stay in the U.S. when we have them! That was a nerve-racking thing to have pending. Now I get to “enjoy” immigration paperwork to bring DH over which is keeping me busy (and excited to know we’re that much closer to being together again). I’m also taking some classes again which has really lifted my spirits! It gives me things to look forward to other things too. I know the time will come eventually! Best of luck to everyone!
Ugh. Tired of waiting. DD is 4 1/2. We wanted our kids rather spread out but it was hard to fight the baby fever after she was around 3. But we were moving, so we waited. Finally got pregnant in Dec and were expecting this Sept. When I went for my first OB appointment at 10 weeks, we found out that I had had a missed miscarriage. After the d&c, they discovered that I had had a molar pregnancy, which happens when 2 sperm enter 1 egg. [name]Long[/name] story short, there is a risk that cancer can develop from this kind of pregnancy, so I have had to have my hcg levels monitered since Feb to make sure all the cells from the pregnancy were evacuated. I have two more blood tests to go and will be cleared in [name]July[/name] (after wrangling with my doctor who wanted me to wait until Oct). So yeah. Tired of waiting.
So true! I’m waiting for my hubby’s immigration stuff, the next step starts in late [name]July[/name]… So I’m counting down the days too. It seems like an eternity but we’ll make it! Haha
I having a really hard time dealing with the wait lately, and I’m hoping some of you can relate. I really want a baby, I can feel it like an aching, and I don’t know what to do. My body itself is screaming for a baby, but in my head, I don’t “want” a baby yet, I know it’s not time, I know it’s not even feasible yet, we don’t have the room, we don’t have the money, we don’t have the time even! We are both students, with very full schedules, and I’m not in the health I’d like to be in when we do conceive. We aren’t married yet, wedding isn’t til 2014, but even with all those reasons not to, I can’t stop the physical yearning for a baby. Ughhh… We have a date set to conceive, but it’s not until 2015 when I’m out of school, but right now, that might as well be a lifetime away.
I totally understand the feeling!! Like I said, I’ve got immigration stuff to keep me occupied and it’s really helped! Wait until you’re ready, especially until you’re married, and you will be happy you did. But again, definitely know the feeling! I’ve felt it! And I still feel it sometimes, but I know it will be soon!
I know how you all feel! I am 30 so most of my close friends already have kids or are pregnant, and that just makes me want to TTC now! But, in order to get my maternity benefits, we are going to wait until [name]November[/name] to TTC. Waiting is so hard, but it is for the best! At least we can support each other here! Best of luck to everyone!
I`ve really enjoyed reading your perspectives this morning! It is really different from how things happened for me and I often wonder about the other way. I have #2 on the way and my husband and I have still never lived in anything other than a student type apartment. He was unemployed and desperately job seeking throughout my first pregnancy, and then we moved abroad right after the birth. [name]One[/name] of my friends asked “are you waiting to return to your home country before ´trying?´ again” ha ha! He doesn´t know me well. But I do think that it would have have been nice to have settled into a big house of our own with a stable job for hubby right after the wedding. [name]Just[/name] not my destiny I guess.
Hey, I’ve seen plenty of couples in those kinds of situations and they never regretted it! [name]Every[/name] single situation is different and no one is ever in a position to judge someone for having or not having kids or how many they have. I know what it’s like to be on the judgement end for not having kids and also for wanting to have lots of kids. But I am definitely a big advocator for getting married first. I also feel that if you don’t feel ready yet, you shouldn’t let anyone (even your own jealousy) pressure you.
Well, if your not preventing then you can get pregnant anytime so you may well be pregnant in the near future. That’s the part that always got to me, the maybe factor.
But anyways, we decided it was best to wait until next summer at least. We get married next [name]March[/name], so I’d like to focus our time and money on that for right now. I am in two weddings next [name]June[/name], so I’d prefer to be able to drink at the weddings, and not feel like crap (since I wouldn’t be far along if I got pregnant soon after getting married, I might be dealing with the morning sickness and such).
Blatant hinting, haha. Oh well. I’ve crocheted this beautiful sweater while waiting, its almost finished and I already have another item I plan to start working on after. As hard as it is sometimes to wait, I’ve been trying to make the best of it. I am putting aside some extra money for a little vacation with me and my BF so we can spend some extra time together and all. 
So sorry about that phoebesmom, best of luck with all the tests, [name]July[/name] is just around the corner!