Are planned nicknames really successful?

My husband and I want to name our baby [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] after my grandmother… However, neither of us want to use the super popular “[name_f]Maddy[/name_f]”, we have two in our family already.

So, my questions: [name_f]Do[/name_f] true nicknames need to happen naturally? [name_m]How[/name_m] successful is a planned nickname? Is “[name_f]Maddy[/name_f]” unavoidable?

I’d love to use [name_f]Millie[/name_f] as a nickname but I’m so unsure of how successful it will be. I’m also worried that I would be constantly drawing the “don’t-call-her-[name_f]Maddy[/name_f]” line with people…

I think it’s possibly to largely avoid nicknames. (My cousin [name_u]James[/name_u], for example, has never gone by [name_m]Jim[/name_m] or [name_m]Jimmy[/name_m], and people haven’t tried to force it on him.)

I will tell you that one of my friends has a [name_f]Madeline[/name_f], and from the beginning they only called her [name_f]Madeline[/name_f]. No [name_f]Maddy[/name_f] / [name_f]Maddie[/name_f]. When the little girl got to be about 13, she started going by [name_f]Maddie[/name_f] on her on … and now that’s all anyone calls her. So you never know! :slight_smile:

I think if you intend to always call her by her nickname, introduce her by her nickname, then it’s more likely to stick. If you call her [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f], people will probably be inclined to call her [name_f]Maddie[/name_f] since [name_f]Millie[/name_f] isn’t really intuitive as a nickname for [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f]. I think it’s easier to get people to call a child by their first name, no nickname, than it is to get them to call your child by a nickname that’s randomly selected. And, of course, anything can happen once she starts school and makes friends. They may call her [name_f]Maddy[/name_f] and she may like it.

I agree with the pp. If you introduce her as [name_f]Millie[/name_f] people will call her [name_f]Millie[/name_f], if you introduce her as [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f], people are more likely to come up with their own nicknames for her.

I’m an [name_f]Amanda[/name_f] whose parents despised “[name_f]Mandy[/name_f]” … so they just always called me [name_f]Amanda[/name_f]. It stuck, and I’ve really only ever had one person call me [name_f]Mandy[/name_f]. I think it’s how you present her - just as the others have said, if she is introduced as [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f], people will make up their own nicknames as they please. If you call her [name_f]Millie[/name_f], they will follow suit.

Sorry, I don’t think it works, personally.

I really dislike over-streched nicknames especially when they’re originally from a totally different origin ([name_f]Margaret[/name_f] nn [name_f]Daisy[/name_f] I can deal with, [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] nn [name_f]Ivy[/name_f] I can’t).

I’d have a really hard time calling a [name_f]Madeline[/name_f] anything other than [name_f]Maddy[/name_f] as a nickname ([name_f]Della[/name_f], maybe). [name_f]Millie[/name_f] and [name_f]Madeline[/name_f] could easily be sisters in my mind.

All the previous posts are right on. [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] is such a beautiful name.
Only you know how much it will bother you to hear her called [name_f]Maddy[/name_f] at times. My only additional suggestion is to save [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] for a middle name, and choose an equally lovely name for the front position… [name_f]Millicent[/name_f] [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] “[name_f]Millie[/name_f]” is very pretty, for instance. Or [name_f]Matilda[/name_f] [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] “[name_f]Tilly[/name_f]”. Let us know if you want other options.

You raise good questions that need to be asked these days. Until I started going on nameberry frequently last year, I had no idea that parents planned their child’s nicknames so often and so… well, vehemently is the word that comes to mind.

And by vehemently, I mean this is the nickname for my child and you will not call him other than this. Or, this is my child’s name and do not dare to nickname him/her.

As a teacher of 25 years, and a person of 51 years, I know that most nicknames do not originate with parents, but with chums, teachers, lovers, colleagues, spouses. Over the years, I’ve been called [name_u]Leslie[/name_u] Lulubelle, [name_u]Bert[/name_u], Pret, [name_u]Les[/name_u], [name_m]Lester[/name_m], [name_f]Lulu[/name_f], and more. The only appealing-sounding one (Lulubelle/[name_f]Lulu[/name_f]) is not my most frequent nickname, which is [name_u]Les[/name_u].

I know that when folks shorten my name to [name_u]Les[/name_u] that they are doing it out of affection so while I am not wild about the nickname, I like that they find me nicknameable.

I know what you mean about not wanting your daughter to be called [name_f]Maddie[/name_f]/[name_f]Maddy[/name_f], which is so over the top in usage. Me, I love the name [name_m]Charles[/name_m], but the mere whiff of [name_m]Chuck[/name_m] would make me avoid it for a first name.

My daughter, who did not get to be born, is named [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f]. Had she been born, I thought I might call her [name_f]Cora[/name_f] and [name_f]Delia[/name_f]. However, now that Downton [name_u]Abbey[/name_u] has turned [name_f]Cora[/name_f] into a [name_f]Maddy[/name_f] name for me, I would have switched to [name_f]Delia[/name_f]. I don’t like the nickname De or [name_f]Dee[/name_f] and I am appalled by [name_f]Cordy[/name_f] or [name_u]Cory[/name_u].

I guess the real question is [name_f]Do[/name_f] you love the name enough to make any of its possible nicknames tolerable. For me, with [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f], yes, and with [name_m]Charles[/name_m] (and [name_m]Chuck[/name_m]!) no.

Good luck!
[name_u]Leslie[/name_u]

Thank you for all the input you guys. I appreciate it! It’s helping me sort through my feelings about this whole thing. I had no idea I would be so torn up about naming my child! Ha. Anyway, back to the point.

oliviasarah - I don’t like over stretched nicknames either but in my opinion, if all the letters of the nickname are in the original name, it’s fair game. I do see what you mean about the origins, though. I’ve also considered calling her [name_f]Madge[/name_f] because [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] is derived from [name_f]Magdalene[/name_f].

mulme944 - you are so right about how I’m the only one who knows how much it will bother me to hear her called [name_f]Maddy[/name_f]. I don’t want to kid myself into thinking it will never happen and I need to be ok with it when it does. This is definitely the source of my dilemma! I doubt that I would ever be ok with her being called [name_f]Maddy[/name_f], and I don’t want to face that because that means giving up [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] as a first name. <<insert heavy sigh here>>

We have thought of reserving [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] as a middle name, because with all the nickname talk, I’ve felt like I’m just picking my grandmother’s name all apart and trying to make it fit into something I want. Maybe it would be best to leave it intact, untouched, beautiful, just the way it is. [name_f]Love[/name_f] it enough to let it go?

[name_u]Leslie[/name_u] - thank you so much… you are absolutely right. This is the response I was looking for when I posted this thread, something that will help me reflect on this in a new way. People will call her what they want to call her. Being nicknameable is one of the sweetest parts in life. I’ve had several myself, they’re all different from different loved ones. You said it perfectly.

[name_m]Leo[/name_m] is adorable. So glad you ended up there and love it. I know that whatever we name her it will suit her just perfectly. Maybe you’re right, maybe [name_f]Maddy[/name_f] wouldn’t bother me as much in the long run… however, it’s harder to accept when you already have two [name_f]Maddy[/name_f]'s in the family (not close but still relatives that cross our paths on a regular basis). If you had two or even one [name_m]Leo[/name_m]'s in your family, would you have chosen a different name?

Ahhh - we’re in the same boat. [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] is the only name we both love and agree on, PLUS it’s a family name. That’s why I’m fighting for it and have not moved on yet.

My cousins named is [name_f]Isabella[/name_f]. She goes by [name_f]Bella[/name_f] because that’s what her parents wanted her to be called. A girl in the same class with the name [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] is [name_u]Izzy[/name_u] and has never gone by [name_f]Bella[/name_f]. My husbands name is [name_u]Michael[/name_u] and has never been a [name_m]Mike[/name_m]. No one calls him that, just strictly [name_u]Michael[/name_u]. I think [name_f]Millie[/name_f] will work if that’s what you call her. Good luck :slight_smile:

I absolutely love [name_f]Madge[/name_f] as a nn for [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f]! I prefer it to [name_f]Millie[/name_f] and definitely think it would stick well. It’s similar to [name_f]Maddy[/name_f] so people will take it easily, I think, but it’s not too similar to be mistaken as the same thing.

[name_f]Madge[/name_f] all the way!

I’m an [name_u]Ashley[/name_u] who’s always longed for a nn, so I’ve faced the opposite dilemma–having a full name and never being able to go by a nn I’d like to! I am not a parent yet, but I’ve heard lots say not to plan on a nn, because the chances are, you won’t stick to it. I still plan nicknames, though, because I just find it fun, haha. I think [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] nn [name_f]Millie[/name_f] is cute (or even [name_f]Leni[/name_f], or [name_f]Adele[/name_f], if you’re not really set on a nn, or even [name_f]Nell[/name_f]/[name_f]Nellie[/name_f]…), and how hard is it to say “We call her [name_f]Millie[/name_f]”? I wouldn’t expect it to be that hard for people to catch on.

It is possible, depending on how common the nickname is. For example [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] will inevitably become [name_u]Abby[/name_u], [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] will be [name_f]Ellie[/name_f], [name_f]Annabel[/name_f] will be [name_f]Annie[/name_f]/[name_f]Anna[/name_f], and yes, [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] (beautiful by the way!) will become [name_f]Maddy[/name_f]. However, if you always introduce her as [name_f]Milly[/name_f], she might stand a chance. If you introduce her as [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f], not so much. Eventually, even you will start to call her “baby [name_f]Maddy[/name_f]” because it is so much less of a mouthful than “baby [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f]”.

Hmm. I think you just have to work at it i.e.: ‘This is [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f], we call her [name_f]Millie[/name_f]’ - every time. If you wanted her to be known as [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] and not [name_f]Maddie[/name_f], I think you’d have a problem as people will inevitably shorten anything (guilty - my friends with 4 letter names get shortened by me to the first two letters! Think of all the [name_f]Emma[/name_f]'s called [name_f]Em[/name_f], [name_u]Alex[/name_u]'s called [name_m]Al[/name_m], etc) BUT if you are already providing them with [name_f]Millie[/name_f], I don’t think people will feel the need to come up with the short [name_f]Maddie[/name_f] on their own.

From a personal perspective, I have an uncommon and long first name. I rarely get called by my full name by anyone, and people I’ve just met will ask me what I go by for short. I noticed over the years that if I introduced myself to someone with my full first name they will inevitably shorten it themselves to something that I don’t like - so I tend to introduce myself as “nickname, it’s short for full name” and then my preferred nickname sticks. Also most people who know me well know that I don’t like other nicknames, and correct people for me (so I don’t have to seem crazy about it!) :slight_smile:

[name_f]Millie[/name_f] is a bit of a stretch, especially since none of the letters can be found in [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] as a combination (-ill, [name_f]Mil[/name_f]-, -lie, etc.). However if you decide to call her [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] and use [name_f]Millie[/name_f] from day one, I have no doubt it will stick, at least for the first few years. If you switch between calling her [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] and [name_f]Millie[/name_f] when people are around, they’ll get that she’s not a [name_f]Maddie[/name_f] and while it’s not exactly rude, it would be odd if they just started to call her something else.
Once she’s in school you don’t have control over (new) nicknames anymore. However, everyone who already knows her by [name_f]Millie[/name_f] at that time, will not just switch nicknames.
Depending on your pronunciation of [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f], [name_f]Elle[/name_f] would be another nn option.
Good [name_m]Luck[/name_m]!