[name_f]My[/name_f] husband is 40, turning 41 soon and I’m 33. Is it too late for us to have children? We’ve both had coworkers tell us that our kids will probably have disabilities or issues because we’re older and may be higher risk or say we won’t have the energy to have kids at our age. It’s been pretty disheartening not to have the support and made to think our window is passed. We would love our kids no matter what even if they had something as I’m sure any parent would. It’s hard to hear this though constantly and put doubt in our heads. We’ve also considered adoption as an option as I know many kids need a good home.
33 is more average than old in my opinion! It definitely varies from where you live but where I am from that is typical. You are definitely not too old! It is true that as you get older as a mother risks of various health issues get higher, but “older” mothers are typically what I would think of as at least 35+, closer to 40. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom had me at 33 and all my friends parents are around the same age as her or older.
I don’t think so! [name_f]My[/name_f] parents had me (their firstborn) at 35 and my brother a few years after that, and they were (and still are) great parents. They had plenty of energy to keep up with us and neither of us has any “issues”. I wouldn’t let your coworkers dishearten you. Your early 30s is a perfectly healthy and typical time to be pregnant!
33 is a great age to have kids! You’re likely more financially stable than you were 10 years ago, you have gathered decades worth of life experience… What matters is when YOU feel ready. At least in [name_u]New[/name_u] [name_u]Zealand[/name_u], it’s not considered a “mature pregnancy” until past the age of 35. Please, if you want to have kids, do! Whether that be adoption or biological, you deserve to have kids if you really want them.
No way are you too old! [name_f]My[/name_f] mother had 6 children and the last three were after she was 35. All healthy.
It is natural for there to be a decline in fertility as you age but it doesn’t stop after you turn 30. I remember something along the lines of every month there being a 25% of pregnancy and after 30 it goes down to 20% chance.
There are lots of generalized positives to having older parents as they are assumed to have decided to wait until they were ready so tend to have more life experience, resources, a stable relationship, more education, established careers, savings compared to younger parents.
I have an uncle who is 50 and his wife is close to my age (32) and they’re having their first baby the end of this year. They of course had a lot of tests run when they started talking about TTC twoish years ago, and all scans and tests show their baby is as healthy as any other. It’s no different than parents who start having kids 10+ years before that age range and stop having kids at the age of you and your husband. Disabilities/birth defects/ect. aren’t necessarily any more common for those having kids a couple of years younger.
If you think those are actual concerns for you, there are many other methods you can take to circumvent both your genetic material by using donner eggs or sperm, taking fertility treatments, using a surgote, or adopting If you feel like having children is something you absolutely want to do. But you as a 33 year old is a normal age for having a baby and I wouldn’t let anyone talk you out of it based just on your ages.
I just had my fourth baby at almost 35. No age-related complications, I was pregnant after only a few months of trying, and my age was never mentioned once by any medical professional. I don’t think 33 is too old at all, you’ve still got time. There is more risk as you near 40 from what I understand but I think many couples are having children later than before. It seems more common where I am to be pregnant in your 30s than in your 20s what with people finding partners later, finishing school later, starting careers later, and settling down later. Don’t let anyone push you into giving up something you really want. Yes, children are exhausting, especially the more you have! But they also give you purpose and a reason to get out of bed if you need one, so in a way they keep you young too. Bottom line: do what’s right for you and your partner. 33 is a great time to start a family.
you’re definitely not too young to have a baby! my mother had two kids after age 35 (and three before that!) with zero age-related complications whatsoever. and echoing other posters, what matters is when you feel ready ~ if you want to have kids, you deserve them. don’t let other people’s comments stop you!
Absolutely not. I have friends who start having kids in their 20’s and just keep going through their 40’s! For me, that’s the norm.
Definitely not. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom and dad had me when they were 35 and 39 I think, and I think I turned out fine. I’m only 18, so I am definitely not qualified to give medical related advice, but the only disability or issues I have are ADHD, terrible vision, and slight sensitivity to dairy, and those all run in my family.
Also from what I have heard (again, not medically qualified at all), 36 is about the age where it starts to become a more risky.
I personally think that as long as being pregnant isn’t detrimental to your health, and that the baby is happy and loved, age doesn’t really matter.
Wish you all the best!
Thanks for your thoughts! Appreciate it!
Have kids! You are young! I know plenty who had kids at your age and older. I was 34 when my third was born. Have kids and prove them wrong!
I know lots of people who had kids at 40. You’re going to be fine go for it!
What!? No way! If you want children, you don’t sound too old to me a bit!! A family’s a family, no matter the ages.
my aunts had their first babies at 39 & 42, respectively. my mum had me at 31, so closer to your age. none of us (me, my younger sister, & my cousins) have any issues except for ones that run in our family anyway.
I am 33 and currently TTC my third. I don’t feel like I’m too old I think your ovarian reserve starts to dwindle closer to 37/38 but 33 seems like a prime age for most.
40 is a little on the older side but not a definite no. But to be told your chances of concieving a child with disabilities because of your ages is really quite harsh. There are many men above 35 who have had healthy children.
Don’t listen to what anyone else says. You aren’t too old at all. When I was born, my mom was 30 and my dad was 44. I have two younger brothers, the youngest of which was born when my mom was 36 and my dad was 50. The only issue my dad faced was that people thought he was my brother’s grandfather when he picked him up from school, but his hair greyed early. Your husband is a whole 10 years younger than my dad was though.
I’m 35 (will be 36 in Feb) and I literally just had a baby. She’s perfectly healthy. I also have three year old twins that I had at age 32.
33 seems like a fairly common age to have a baby. I wouldn’t worry about being too old. [name_m]Just[/name_m] take care of yourself, eat well and take prenatals.
I’m not a parent, but my parents were 37 and 44 when I (their first child) was born, and had another over 3 years later and we didn’t have any complications I know about. So I say, I’m no way are you too old! If you want kids have them!