ASHER...For a girl~Discussion of the Day (by name-guru)

Excellent post. I couldn’t agree more.

Personally, I cannot stand boy’s names on girls, and with [name]Asher[/name] being a Biblical name I’m even more “protective” over it.

It isn’t so much that parents of boys can’t stand their sons sharing a name with a girl, I tend to find it’s the parents of girls who start to get precious about it!

I know someone, who several years ago, named her daughter [name]Ashton[/name]. Whenever she hears of a boy named [name]Ashton[/name], she turns her nose up and says, “well I find [name]Ashton[/name] really girly, it’s a girl’s name, it’s silly on a boy.”

This person sees it as a girl’s name, because she used it for her daughter, and she refuses to accept she used what in reality is a boy’s name.

After a while, when parents of girls with boy’s names start saying “such and such” a name is “girly”, yes it does start to put parents of boys off. That’s what happened to [name]Ashley[/name].

If people want to use boy’s names on girls, I can’t stop them, but if they do it they should damn well be honest about it, and just say “yes I gave my daughter a boy’s name,” rather than trying to claim that name for the girls.

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[name]AMEN[/name]! I personally can’t get on board with [name]Asher[/name] as a girl’s name, but to each their own. But if you’re going to use it, know that you are using a boy’s name and that’s that. Also, I seriously agree with augusta_lee and east93 on all accounts.

I always felt like [name]Asher[/name] was far too feminine sounding to use on a boy, but because it has a history as a male name and that is how it has been used traditionally, I wouldn’t want to see it used on females.

I can totally see where this would be the gut reaction, but don’t you think it’s probably because [name]Ashley[/name] was taken for the girls? I often wonder if we’d find names like [name]Ashton[/name], [name]Finley[/name], [name]Hadley[/name], etc to sound “girly” if [name]Ashley[/name] hadn’t gone over so… successfully.

In response to those who find certain boys’ names to sound feminine, I have to say that I’m beginning to get tired of things being considered girly just because they’re soft. If people want to name their daughters [name]Elliot[/name] or [name]Asher[/name] because they’re so soft sounding, then by all means please do so. I just wish they’d use the same logic and name their sons [name]Harriet[/name] and [name]Matilda[/name].

A million times THANK YOU!

I don’t mind gender-bending names but I HATE the discouragement when you want to use them on boys. 99% of the feedback I get for my two favorite boy names -[name]Shea[/name] & [name]Ashley[/name]- are that they are girl names. Not even unisex, just 100% woman. [name]Even[/name] the Nameberry descriptions are outright negative for these and other boy names that have been used for girls.

There are traditional male names that I like on girls- [name]Arlo[/name], [name]Linden[/name], [name]Jasper[/name]- but I don’t try to rewrite history and claim they’re girl names. When people say “it’s a boy name” I don’t get indignant and call them closed-minded (which is the usual response on these boards). I fully acknowledge that these are men’s names. And I don’t make discouraging “it’s girly/soft/feminine” comments when someone wants to use them for a boy

Good point! [name]Ash[/name]- names are “all girl” and basically any name that ends in “ee” has been deemed feminine. Now it’s happening with [name]Em[/name]- and [name]El[/name]- names. All the sudden people are claiming names like [name]Ellis[/name], [name]Emerson[/name], [name]Emmett[/name], and [name]Ellery[/name] sound “girly”

I agree. The only reason [name]Asher[/name] sounds feminine to me is because of [name]Ashley[/name]. Some softer boy names sounds very masculine to me, [name]Seth[/name] for example. I don’t think it is the softness of the name that makes it feminine, more the association with [name]Ashley[/name]. Which is too bad.

It drives me crazy when people automatically associate a name with an “ee” ending as feminine, like [name]Finley[/name].

I think [name]Asher[/name] would be wonderful for a girl. It’s very cute.

[name]Seth[/name] is a wonderful example - just don’t say it too loudly :wink: I love that name.

I think [name]Asher[/name] works fine on a girl. I don’t know any personally though.

I don’t like [name]Asha[/name]. Prefer [name]Asher[/name] on a girl or a boy.

Exactly.

This is why I don’t support [name]Asher[/name] going girl, because then it’l be all names ending in -er are automatically female.

If names could go girl, and remain 50/50, then I’d be more in favour, but it rarely does. And it’s hard enough for a lot of people to find boys names they like, and there are more than enough girls names to choose from. I just don’t understand what’s the challenge in people leaving certain things alone where they are. There’s no reason that I have ever heard that’s good enough for someone to pick a boys name over a girls name for their daughter.

I think it’s just a shame that legitimate boys names are going to be viewed as too girly for use on males in the future. [name]Emerson[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name] I think are the next.

People like you are actually the reason this happens though. You’re part of the problem. If people would just stop “giving up” a name because its been used too much for girls then we wouldn’t have this issue. It’s you who has issues with gender because you wouldn’t dare name your manly [name]SON[/name] a girl’s name. I get comments all the time on here about names like [name]Luca[/name], [name]Joss[/name], and Sia being too feminine to use on a boy. But the same people would turn around and say “Ew that sounds like a boy’s name” if I were asking about it used for a girl. I’m sorry but the majority of Berries are sadly very backwards and conservative on this issue.

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I was the person that made the other [name]Asher[/name] for a girl thread because I honestly love the name equally on either gender. I wouldn’t mind using the names [name]Elliot[/name] or [name]Emerson[/name] on a boy even though they’ve “gone to the girls.” Remind me again who has repressed misogyny?

I personally don’t think [name]Elliot[/name] or [name]Emerson[/name] has gone to the girls. I can see [name]Ashley[/name] being one of the names that has gone to the girls (except in the UK) but I think it would be wonderful to meet a male [name]Ashley[/name]. My DH told me once that he took a math class in high school with a male [name]Ashley[/name]. They weren’t friends so he didn’t know about his feelings on the name, but he wasn’t teased in the math class even though there were girls in the class with the same name.

I say if you like the name, use it. My judgments should not stop someone from using a name that they love for either gender.

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I can understand your sentiment. And FTR, I don’t think [name]Luca[/name] or [name]Joss[/name] are too feminine for use on a boy AT ALL (not familiar with Sia). :slight_smile:

I think most people, including and especially children, like to identify with their own gender. So, when my male cousin, [name]Ashley[/name], realized that every single other [name]Ashley[/name] he knew was a girl, he stopped identifying with the name as “him” and started going by his middle name. I also knew a girl named [name]James[/name], nn [name]Jimmy[/name] who did the same thing and switched to her middle. It’s one thing when a name is truly unisex and a child can find examples in whichever gender they identify with. Or when they’re named [name]Charlotte[/name] and go by [name]Charlie[/name], or [name]Alistair[/name] going by [name]Allie[/name], because they have a more gender-specific name to go back to if they choose.

Obviously, I can’t speak for other berries here, but this is not a “conservative” issue for me. If I had a male child who identified with the female gender, they would be allowed to pick a new name to go by, and if they stayed consistent on the issue into young adulthood, I would help them make the legal change.

I could see [name]Asher[/name] as a viable name for a man or for a woman. I know its traditionally male. I like softer names for both genders, like [name]Morgan[/name], [name]Frances[/name], [name]Mackenzie[/name], [name]Harper[/name], [name]Avery[/name]. I don’t like frilly or harsh names with lots of syllables or consonants. I guess sound and rhythm is more important to me right now than tradition.

Though I do like a more gender defining name in the middle:
[name]Asher[/name] [name]Jeremiah[/name]
[name]Asher[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name]

[name]Asher[/name] is a boys’ name. I see it that way because of my [name]Christian[/name] upbringing. We sang the 12 sons of [name]Jacob[/name] in [name]Sunday[/name] School to learn them- [name]Asher[/name] is one of his sons. So in my context and experience, [name]Asher[/name] is a boys’ name.

For the sake of argument, if you didn’t grow up with that kind of religious background, and just heard the name [name]Asher[/name] would you automatically think boy? I don’t know. I so identify it as a boys’ name, that I don’t know if I would see it another way.

Similarly, if you heard it first on a girl, wouldn’t you think it a girls’ name? A PP mentioned [name]Ellery[/name]. When I first heard that name, it was on a girl. Until I got into names, I didn’t even know it had been snatched from the boys’ side. I just thought it was a girls’ name. I feel as though we attach a gender to names that aren’t historically/culturally one gender or another based on our own personal context. If you love a name, however, you owe it to your child to research if that name has ever been used for the other gender and/or see if your chosen name is received well for the gender of your child. [name]Even[/name] if YOU see a name as feminine, everyone else might not, and your child has to live with everyone else’s impression of his/her name for the rest of their lives.

I do think there are very clearly boys’ names and girls’ names, and unless we are equally as willing to name a boy [name]Catherine[/name], we shouldn’t use boys’ names on girls. Unisex names are a different story.

To the OP, [name]IMO[/name] there are many equally wonderful [name]Ash[/name]- names that are girls’ names… I would stick to those.

This is interesting, because your description of me is entirely incorrect.

I think [name]Luca[/name], and Sia are lovely names on boys. I contemplated switching out [name]Lucas[/name] for [name]Luca[/name] at one point. (SO is insistent on [name]Lucas[/name] though)
I would not stop using a name that’s male because it’s now on girls or because it’s “too girlish”, I would however not use it because I know of the potential hassles it would cause him in the future.

I would [name]LOVE[/name] to meet a boy named [name]Madison[/name], I encouraged it a few times on this board. I personally love the idea of having a son named [name]Madison[/name] [name]George[/name], but because it’s now so heavily female, I know it’ll likely cause a lot of teasing and hassle for him. I love many many other boys names, so I’d skip on the potential issues.

As for named like [name]Elliot[/name] and [name]Emerson[/name]. I personally don’t like [name]Emerson[/name] and would not use it at all, but [name]Elliot[/name] was actually on my short list at spot #2. [name]Elliot[/name] [name]Henry[/name] was the working combo, but then [name]Henry[/name] took the limelight so [name]Elliot[/name] [name]Henry[/name] is now a long list combo.

[name]Ashley[/name]. I really do like it on a boy, especially after my mother would talk about [name]Ashley[/name] in Gone With The Wind, and I heard it on a male character so frequently. I love the name [name]Ashley[/name] in general, and on a boy it’s so lovely, especially with the nn [name]Ash[/name]. But due to the hassles it would likely cause him, I refrain from it. My friend’s DS has the name [name]Alexis[/name] as his middle, and I absolutely love it. It’s also his father’s middle name. I have no issues with that whatsoever.
[name]Avery[/name], it’s on my boys list. If I could get SO to get on board, then it’s be much higher up.

My only issue with why I don’t use “boys names gone girl” is the fact that it causes issues on paper, and teasing/mistaken identity type things. But would I tell a woman who wants to name her son [name]Ashley[/name] not to? Of course not, I encourage it! It’s a boys name, so boys should use it!

I resent the fact that you’ve made assumptions about me, and lumped me into a group of people that I don’t fit and would appreciate it if you didn’t. The “people like you comment” striked me as offensive.
My basic stance is: Boys names should be used by boys, girls names by girls, and unisex by both.

I don’t care for it on either because it reminds me of Asscher cut diamonds so I have a hard time picturing it on a girl or boy.