Baby Berries due July - September 2021

I hope she is able to come! A just met my grandma for the very first time yesterday! She lives just 20 minutes from us, but H and I hadn’t seen her since Feb 2020. She lives in a large independent living facility. When H was A’s age, we saw her every week. Covid has made it feel like there are thousands of miles between us. We won’t see her again until [name_u]October[/name_u], I think, based on the risks, but we are still being so much more conservative than anyone we know at this point. I just want to minimize to exposure risks between now and like an 8 week old.

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Well I made it through a little family staycation without going into labor lol
I’m three- four hours away from my hospital. But we went to an indoor water park with the boys for a last hoorah
I’m huge and wore a bikini
Got some looks lol

I’ve reached the point where I’m no longer sleeping at night. Last night I was nearly crying cuz I was so tired and just laying here uncomfortable

I go back to work tomorrow for my final six days after our covid exposure!

Then it’s game time baby

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Oh ya. [name_f]My[/name_f] doctors told me I wouldn’t get any more ultrasounds but I actually have one more at 36 weeks! They surprised me with. I’m really excited cuz I’ve been nervous with how much she moves if she’s tangled in my cord in there. Also I would be screwed if they told me oh actually it’s a boy. Because even though we went with calming/muted colors i have pretty much all pink everything.
I’m excited to see her little face hopefully and get some more pictures for the baby book I started.
[name_f]My[/name_f] son had so many ultrasounds.

They said this one was to check her position but they believe she’s head down.

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It’s getting exciting in this group!! Due dates are coming up soon!!

We were previously thinking we would be done at 3 kids but… I think we’ve moved to TBD on a fourth. We’ll see how three kids go and how our budget works out first. I know my husband would really like a boy, which is on his mind. I don’t care either way, but four kids sounds like sooo much work! How do you ever get a babysitter again? I feel like 4 would scare people off??

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Oh man, this sounds so miserable!! Is it your body, mind, or something else keeping you up? I was super happy I slept great right through the night every night with my first. Never up and down to pee or tossing and turning or anything. Now I find I have to really prioritize healthy sleep habits in order to get enough sleep… but it does work out even if I feel more like a normal pregnant person this time…

That is sooo exciting! My husband is definitely, definitely done with babies. If he opens up to having more kids in the next decade, we would adopt older. I’ve really struggled back and forth with it. It all feels so final.

When I nannied/babysat I loved working for families with 4… but I also charged a lot. $33-$40/hr. It wouldn’t have felt worth all the work otherwise, even if I loved the kids (that was also in Boston, which is the number 3 childcare cost city, behind SF and Manhattan… rates would be a bit less elsewhere).

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@jenileigh I had the same thought as you! I will also have a 36 week ultrasound and I’m really hoping she’s still a girl because I have all the clothes washed and ready, her name is set, and my girls know they are getting a baby sister. I would literally have less than 4 weeks to prepare for a boy lol. The stroller/car seat I am getting is neutral though and all the big items are neutral as well.

@morgantaylore This is how I feel about a 4th as well. Almost everyone asks if we are going to try for a boy after this one. And I’m thinking to myself “Can I have this one first before we decide??”. I definitely won’t want to have more than one more after this baby.

Unrelated to babies, today would have been my mom’s 60th birthday. The girls each picked out a small flower plant to bring to her grave today. She had me when she was 30, so I’m almost the age she was when I was born. I’m hoping I do okay giving birth without my mom this time.

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I have had a few psychic-type dreams before that did come to fruition, but this was the first baby-based one proven true. It will be interesting to see if I am right on the gender too in November when she is due. A few people have told me they are getting vibes that I am carrying a girl, but I haven’t gotten vibes of my own on that one yet.

@PrincessShannon I remember your guy will be Roland Craig because of that funny story about your husband’s mistaken identity. If we go with that name as well he’ll be Roland Paul and the longer I sit on a boys name I think my SO will win that one. I say this because Roland is his absolute favourite and he has never changed his mind. He is open to my favourite Greyson but I can still see he’s not a fan and his effort is to try and appease me. Of the names we have considered, Roland falls second to me, which is why I think we’ll likely go that direction. The middle name also comes from my late father and he accepted that without a second thought so I feel a bit like I need to give his first name choice slightly more weight.

I voted for Evangeline Luna before so I approve, but Joy is also a solid middle choice there.

@hyacinthbucket Lilah has been in my brain for a long while, need to get the SO on board there but he cannot decide on what he likes for a girl, way less decisive. My dad’s late sister was Lily and in my early childhood she had huge hopes and dreams of being the best cool aunt that got cut tragically short. Lily felt too popular (taught a few of them personally), but Lilah struck me as a way to use it but just different enough to not be obvious.

@jenni_lynn91 Fellow schoolteacher here, but I will never understand the short maternity leave in the states. I’m in Canada and taking the whole next school year starting in September. There is even the option to extend to 18 months (with only 12 months of employment insurance spread out longer) that many teachers I know have taken because they had babies in the spring and didn’t want to come back until the new school year after their child’s first birthday. Are there options for longer leave at all?

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No I don’t have even a paid sick day from my job. The tutor position is 30 hours a week so they can keep me part-time and not have to give me benefits. I’ve tried to find a job with benefits in the past, but they always end up hiring someone else. Because of my husband’s current immigration status, I can’t not be working.

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Definitely my body is effecting me,
The baby moves so much at night. Sometimes I get contractions when I lay down.
I try to lay on my side and it squished my rib cage together and makes it hard to breathe. Right under my breast bone swells and KILLS.
Also I gotta prop my legs up for [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] horses and I gotta put a pillow in between my legs for my hips lol.
The most comfortable for me is laying flat on my back but then I get paranoid it will lower her heart rate.
And if I do get comfortable then I gotta get up and pee. Which I have to rock my body back in forth to get up because to sit up is impossible with these abs lol. And my pillow wall blocks me from just swinging my legs off the bed.

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[name_u]Happy[/name_u] birthday to your mom :heart::heart: I’m so sorry you have to birth without her this time.

No. We have 12 weeks unpaid without losing your job in MN. [name_f]My[/name_f] company gives us 5 weeks at 60 percent pay and the test we use vacation and sick time to pay for the rest. I took 10 weeks with my first and 7 weeks with my second. I’m hoping I can take 8 weeks this time. It’s so hard when you want more time but you also can’t be without a paycheck.

I’m up all night peeing!!!

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@jenni_lynn91, you are strong enough to give birth without your mom this time. But I’m sorry you have to. It’s not fair that she isn’t around for this stuff this time. It sounds like you found a lovely way to celebrate and honor her 60th birthday, though.

@jky86, that’s a sweet way to get to [name_f]Lilah[/name_f]!

The US parental leave system, if one can even call it that, is just so absolutely messed up. Inhumane, even. The fact that I read 5 weeks at 60% pay, @morgantaylore as “awesome!” and “generous” in my head is completely backward. [name_m]Even[/name_m] just the benefits system in general apart from parental leave… a job that takes 30 hours of your time every week, @jenni_lynn91 should absolutely be ENOUGH to qualify for benefits and yet the way we structure everything businesses don’t “owe” employees anything. :rage:

[name_f]My[/name_f] husband will be taking leave. We always said he would take more and more time off with each child as the transition will be more and more complex. That’s basically all we have saved up for over the past 5 years since we bought our house… just time off. With my first he took 7 days off at the very beginning (5 days PTO) and then another 7 days unpaid when H was 6 weeks old so we could go visit both our families in [name_u]California[/name_u]. With our second, the adoption during the very start of the pandemic, he took 10 weeks. Without being able to hire help during that time and no family in our area to help, I would have been so lost without him. He had wanted to go back at 8 weeks but then our little guy needed a surgery so he stayed through the recovery from that. All of that unpaid.

This time he will take 14 weeks. The max possible. The 12 weeks federal FMLA unpaid that prevents him from losing his job, and then his hourly PTO for the other 9 workdays. I’m counting down… he will stop working right away if [name_u]Bao[/name_u] comes early but otherwise… [name_u]July[/name_u] 19 is his last day of work until late October… I’ll be 39.5 weeks then and I’m hoping that I’ll have at least a week of him being at home before I go into labor, but obviously I can’t count on that.

He hasn’t taken a single “vacation” (using PTO) day apart from our kids being born. I’m so happy we have prioritized this as our plan but also just it’s messed up that he hasn’t had any time off (he works holidays, even, whenever his grocery store is open) in 5 years while we have been saving up and budgeting to weather sporadic periods without pay.

That’s one thing I’ll be looking forward to in 2022 and beyond… planning time off for the first time that has nothing to do with attending a funeral or having a newborn.

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This does indeed sound so miserable. I’m sorry you’re losing sleep and comfort. I hope I won’t be joining you.

I’m with you on the back sleep, though. I’m a lifelong sidesleeper, including my first pregnancy, but for some reason my body just wants to be on the back this time. I roll to my side everytime I wake enough to realize I’m on my back as it also freaks me out. I have no idea how long I’ve spent like that when I wake.

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Maternity leave in the States does sound like a joke…something I didn’t even realize until a few years ago coming from a system that has a longer maternity leave system. Does it differ state to state or company to organization?

@jenileigh I am sorry you are so uncomfortable, it does not sound pleasant at all. I was having [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] horses a few weeks ago, always while fast asleep and waking me and my SO up (from the screaming), but they have for now seemed to subsided with increased water consumption. That doesn’t help the peeing issue though.

In addition to everyone having girl vibes about me, I dreamt about holding an infant daughter last night with my dark hair. Likely the power of suggestion since people have been telling me what they think the past few days.

Had my GD test yesterday and it had been built up in my head as the worst because two individuals told me about how much they wanted to puke and how much their babies moved afterwards so I was bracing for the worst. No urge to vomit, lots of burping, and baby was relatively still for it (got active a couple hours after). It made me nervous to know I reacted so differently but the technician afterwards said that was a good thing.

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It does differ state to state but overall there is no leave and very few states have publicly-funded paid maternity leave like Canada (I think it’s 4 states that have it like Canada but the most generous of those is 8 weeks, I believe… so… not at all like Canada). The federal policy is that you have 12 weeks unpaid leave without losing your job IF your company has more than 50 employees. That’s it. Beyond that, companies with less than 15 employees can hire somebody else when you’re unable to do your job and have no obligation to take you back. Companies between 15-50 employees can’t discriminate against you for being pregnant but they CAN choose to replace you or require you to come back earlier… one quarter of moms in the US have to work within 2 weeks of giving birth. Paid maternity leave is 100% at the employer’s discretion, meaning most give none because why care about families?

@jenileigh and @jky86, I find the extra peeing at night despite increased water consumption can mostly be mitigated by taking trace minerals/electrolytes and eating a balance of good salts, calcium, and potassium through diet. I can drink plenty of water, including right at bedtime, and not wake up at night. While I may still be an anomaly in that regard, I do think that having salts in balance helps you absorb the water, especially when it’s hot out, rather than it just passing straight through you. For reference I drink 100-120oz a day depending on the temp. I pee tons during the day though… SAHM with the toilet constantly available I’m sure I average every hour at least.

[name_f]My[/name_f] job is very similar. I get 6 weeks maternity leave full pay and 12 weeks FMLA total. I’m going to use a week of PTO then start my FMLA so I’ll get 13 weeks off. [name_f]My[/name_f] plan depending on how everything goes, is my last day will be [name_u]August[/name_u] 20, use a week of PTO, then start 12 weeks of FMLA which will take me to the week of Thanksgiving. The twins are due Sept 29 technically but I’ll have them closer to Sept 1-15th depending on complications. I’m not allowed to go past 38 weeks so Sept 15 is the absolute latest they will be born, still giving me plenty of time after birth with them.

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Good news: my dad is getting used to the name for our daughter. We were at his house again yesterday and he pronounced [name_f]Magali[/name_f] correctly. Then I had [name_f]Kiana[/name_f] (who is 3) say the baby’s full name, which she pronounced perfectly. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad said, “If a 7 and a 3 year old can say the name, then I guess I should be able to.” He pronounced [name_f]Belén[/name_f] a bit off, but I’m just going to ignore it because the important thing is that he can say her first name.

I got [name_f]Noemí[/name_f] into a 6 week summer program at her school, and I’m going to send [name_f]Kiana[/name_f] to a summer program for two of the weeks so that I will have two weeks home alone to finish getting things ready. Some of my coworkers gave me money on [name_m]Friday[/name_m] to get things for baby, so I ordered the stroller/car seat combo the other day. I just want to get my house in order because I won’t be able to keep up with cleaning and organizing once [name_f]Magali[/name_f] is born.

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@jenileigh July 10
@Eliza_beth3 July 13
@Sm202038 July 19
@hyacinthbucket July 24
@jenni_lynn91 August 4
@WildroseofJuillet August 18
@pennysola August 25
@jess061115 August 28
@Willowmazee Sep 4
@morgantaylore September 21 (history of preterm births)
@PrincessShannon Sep 29 TWINS! (Expected by Sep 15)
@jky86 September 30

Just checking in with the 40 week mark as we are now just 1 month out from @jenileigh!

@WildroseofJuillet, how are you doing in particular, since I know you’re active elsewhere on the forums. @pennysola and @Willowmazee, I’ve seen you both around, too.

Oh, and @Elle1, I know you’ve been super active in your own duedate thread now that you’ve got your own to look forward to, but how is your friend doing?

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@jenni_lynn91, yay for your dad getting better about the name! That sounds awesome to have 2 weeks of full coverage for summer camp to get things done!

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