[name_f]My[/name_f] DH and i feel as though we are stuck in a difficult place regarding the boy name we have chosen and i was hoping you all would be able to tell me what you would do in the situation.
We have been TTC for 6 years, and about 4 years ago decided on the name for our future baby boy. We have since stopped TTC and are just waiting to be matched with our miracle through adoption.
About 2 years ago we were introduced to some friends of a friend that had just found out they were having a boy. In conversation they mentioned they were thinking of using the same name we had chosen and i told them that i loved it and that we had decided to use the same name for our child. At the time it seemed like no big deal because we just thought they would be acquaintances, but over the last 2 years they have become close friends. We have reiterated to them several times that we plan to still use that name, but im wondering now if we should. What would all of you do in the situation? So far it hasn’t been an issue and they haven’t said anything about it bothering them, but im not sure how i feel about it.
As for picking another name, it took us almost 3 years to decide on this one and neither DH or I can come up with anything else that we like. Help!!
What are some names you like, even if you can’t use them? Then people might have a better idea of what to suggest.
Perhaps you could switch around the first and middle of your favourite combination? That way you are still using both names you originally agreed upon.
If you like classic names, maybe you’d like:
[name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]
[name_m]Timothy[/name_m]
[name_u]Theo[/name_u]
[name_m]Dominic[/name_m]
[name_m]Liam[/name_m]
[name_m]Patrick[/name_m]
[name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Henry[/name_m]
[name_u]Michael[/name_u]
If you like occupational names/surname names:
[name_m]Archer[/name_m]
[name_u]Carson[/name_u]
[name_m]Cooper[/name_m]
[name_u]Sawyer[/name_u]
[name_m]Fletcher[/name_m]
[name_m]Harrison[/name_m]
[name_m]Grant[/name_m]
If you like nature names:
[name_u]River[/name_u]
[name_m]Flint[/name_m]
[name_u]Rowan[/name_u]
[name_u]Sage[/name_u]
[name_m]Jasper[/name_m]
[name_u]Glen[/name_u]
[name_m]Kohl[/name_m]/[name_m]Cole[/name_m]
Some of my personal favourites include:
[name_m]Frederick[/name_m]
[name_m]Graham[/name_m]
[name_u]Alden[/name_u]
[name_m]Desmond[/name_m]
[name_m]Callum[/name_m]
[name_m]Declan[/name_m]
[name_m]Julian[/name_m]
[name_m]Simon[/name_m]
[name_m]Eli[/name_m]
[name_m]Ronan[/name_m]
[name_u]Owen[/name_u]
[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry about it–you never know what will happen in the future, or even whether you’ll both have boys. The other couple is free to choose any name that pleases them, as are you. If the names coincide, so be it. I can’t imagine being so committed to a particular name for so long, but I have about 5 full names for each gender that have been favorites for ages. [name_f]My[/name_f] absolute favorite varies among them.
[name_f]My[/name_f] observation is no wonder you’ve become close friends with that couple, if your tastes run together so closely! If you share the name, perhaps we can help you think of new ideas. Although, I don’t think there is anything wrong with using your original choice if it still appeals to both you and your husband. You may find your friends are actually disappointed if you change your minds. [name_m]Just[/name_m] for example, my brother an his best friend have the exact same name. We just use their last names, and it’s no big deal. I actually think they kind of like sharing a name.
I say use it! You were transparent with your friends from the beginning that it was the name you had chosen. You love it, and it is obviously very special to you. Lot’s of people share names. I actually think kids get a kick out of meeting someone or having a friend with the same name.
I think it’s completely fine to use the same name. You were upfront about using it and aren’t getting the idea from them. Personally I don’t like using a name if I know a child with it already. If that’s now becoming an issue for you then you really don’t have a choice but to think of something else. You may find your son doesn’t suit the name anyway so best to have some back ups. Then again you may see him and think its perfect so you won’t care about anything else. Good luck!
I think you should use the name. You’ve made it very clear that you plan on using it whenever you have a son, so it’s not like you “stole” their name. If you love it, use it. They know you love it, and if they happen to use the name before you just let them know that you still love the name and would like to use it.
I wouldn’t be worried right now because there’s no imminent baby. However, it’s probably not a big deal since you mentioned you were thinking of this name a very long time ago.
I took from your post that your friends have a boy with that name now. If you are close, I would just say in conversation that you still liked and wanted to use the name and would they be upset if you did. No harm in being honest and upfront.
Is it a common name? If so, it really shouldn’t matter. If it is something pretty unique it might be a different story, but you have been upfront about your desire to use the name
If you still love the name and if your son suits it when you meet him, then use it. Your friends have been given fair warning, so no need to worry about their reaction. It’s your feelings around it that matter most. After waiting so long for a child, I can imagine that name has become quite important and symbolic to you. If hearing it on another child a lot hasn’t worn down your love, then give it to your son. However, only if it suits him. You may also want to take the opportunity to start fresh with this new life you’ll be given. Good luck.