My daughter, Gabry is 9 years old and informed me today that she was dating an ‘older man’ ( he’s in 5th grade and she’s in 4th) and it was ‘getting pretty serious’. I laughed it off, but then as today has progressed, i realized that she truly thinks she is dating this little boy. Gabry is the first in my house to announce at such an early age that she is dating ( my son dates and he is 16, but we do not allow it before then), and I’m not sure how to handle it. Should i just play along, laugh it off or intervene? I’m not sure what to do.
She’s only 9, so it’s not really a serious issue. I’d talk to her, and tell her that little girls in your family do not date until their 16. Explain that dating is for older people, and it’s not something that it appropriate for young kids.
I doubt its a serious issue as she’s so young. Be careful though, if you come down heavy on her she may well go behind your back when she’s older.
I think it’s adorable! At this age, she doesn’t do anything without you knowing about it, so I doubt she’s serious. I would sit her down and explain to her that car dating is something she can do when she’s 16, but that at this age, if she wants to sit next to a boy at lunch or talk to him at recess, that’s okay. That way she’ll let you know exactly what’s going on since she knows you won’t disapprove.
I truly hope she’s as much a child at 9 as she was at 7 or 8 and this is totally innocent! Given that it probably IS innocent, I wouldn’t stress too much. She can’t go places or do things without you, your consent, your car, and your money. I agree a little with a previous post about the dangers of coming down too hard-- my parents were so strict my only option (in my 16yo head at the time) was to sneak out. This can be an opportunity to establish a very open relationship between all of you-- his parents, you and your family, the kids themselves-- that will make communication more comfortable now and in the future when the dating is real. I’m not saying to be naïve. Kids may experiment (or worse) wayyy too early. I went to school with a girl who got pregnant at barely 13 and I’m sure her mom never thought that would happen in a million years. But, know your kid and know how she’ll react to your parenting, and things will be okay!
Maybe times have changed, but when I was in 4th grade, if a girl actually talked to a boy then everyone called you boyfriend and girlfriend. My 4th grade “boyfriend” stopped talking to me in 5th grade when he got tired of the teasing. There was absolutely nothing sexual about our relationship, though I was pretty upset at getting dumped. That much never changes 
Wrong section, I think.
At 9 most girls tend to gather with their girl friends and point at some boy on the other side of the school yard and smuggly giggle while announcing “That’s my boyfriend”. It means a boy thinks she is nice and pretty- which isn’t a bad message to hear when you are 9.
At 9 it’s more of a status thing. More ‘I am a growing up, not a ‘little kid’ stage.’ Experimenting with the idea of romance.
If she wants to go “out” anywhere (which is highly unlikely) then I would say only in a large group to a venue eg like iceskating WITH parental supervision.
It is a funny age, they swap between I am a big girl and ‘want to play dolls?’ alot.
I agree, don’t be harsh or that will encourage her to hide things from you later.
I would just ask questions like “so what does it mean to have a boyfriend?” so you can work out what it means in reality.
If you forbid her from having this innocent boyfriend then it might be seen through her eyes as you not trusting her.
By next week he will be ‘dating’ someone else no doubt.
emiliaj
When I was nine it was all the rage to have a “boyfriend”, even though all it entailed was someone to sit with at lunch. It was never anything sexual, and no one ever “went out” with anybody. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, as emilaj says, he’ll be “dating” someone else in a week or two. And I wouldn’t punish her at all, she’s just having childish fun.
- [name]Athena[/name]
It’s just innocent fun, when I was in 5th grade it was all the rage to have a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” but of course it wasn’t serious at all, it was just a game! give it a week and she’ll probably be on to another “boyfriend”, haha.
I dont think its a big deal, like others have said its different when kids say this then teenagers but you could always ask her what dating means to her to get an idea of whats going on.