We’re TTC my first child (hubby’s second). I’ve had baby fever for a while and talking about baby names have been a pain!
I like unique names while he likes classics and prefers names that can’t be shortened. No unusual names. No names from books, TV, or movies. No names that remind him of someone he once knew. No names that remind him of singers, actors, or sports stars. No names that make him think of a random phrase. It’s pretty ridiculous the kinds of limits he sets. Choosing boy names wasn’t too difficult for us, but girl names? Ugh!
We have chosen two names that we like. [name_m]Asher[/name_m] for a boy and [name_m]Caelan[/name_m] for a girl. He suggested [name_m]Caelan[/name_m] for my sake because I’m a writer and one of my main characters is a girl named [name_m]Cael[/name_m]. It’s pretty on writing, but I don’t think I would call my daughter [name_m]Cael[/name_m], and I don’t like being restricted to only calling her [name_m]Caelan[/name_m]. I feel that name needs a shortened version for simplicity.
And [name_f]Cay[/name_f] or [name_u]Kay[/name_u] is out because I have a niece named [name_f]Kayla[/name_f] and her step mom is [name_f]Kayleen[/name_f]. That’s two Kays already in the family. Now I have to tell hubby that the name he chose to make me happy, doesn’t really make me happy.
So has any other moms had this sort of frustrating time with names? I’d like to hear your stories.
P.S. I know I have plenty of time for names, but I can’t stop. I’m obsessed.
I am obsessed with names too - my husband and I would talk about them shortly after we even starting dating. I just enjoy it!
It’s nice that your husband was trying to make you happy with suggesting that name, but just be honest with him and say you think there would be one too many Kays in the family if you used that name.
I personally don’t think you should have to settle for a name you only sort of like. There are so many names in the world, and really you’re only limited by your and your husband’s imagination! Maybe you two could talk about meanings of names or heritage or family names and see what you agree on. Then find names that fit your preferences of those categories. For example, if you both like Biblical names, find a list of them, print out two copies, and both of you highlight which ones you like. Then compare lists. Same thing if you both like flower names or Scandinavian names, etc.
Another suggestion I have is similar to the first one. Take a month off of talking about names, but during that month research them and make a list - both you and your husband. Have a column for names you [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] and one for names you would be happy with. After both of you are done with your lists, compare them. Hopefully you will find at least one name you both [name_u]LOVE[/name_u], but if not then maybe you will find one you both can be happy with.
My husband and I butt heads on names a bit. So far we came up with if it’s a girl I get first name (he has to like it somewhat) and he gets the middle choice, if it’s a boy, he gets the first name (I have to like it somewhat) and then I get the middle choice.
Maybe the two of you could come with some kind of compromise or each make a list of names and see if there are any you like, or be like here are 10 names, you have to pick 2 you are okay with. It’s at least a start into discovering what you both like and hopefully there will be a match somewhere.
Personally, I know when I first started dating my fiance that he was the one, Sounds cheesy but I just knew. So when we first started getting serious, I asked the standard questions and one of them is what is your favorite names? Somehow, he said for girls he liked [name_f]Aubree[/name_f], and boys he liked how [name_m]Anthony[/name_m] sounded. Wierd right? Because those have been my top choices for years. [name_m]Anthony[/name_m] more than [name_f]Aubree[/name_f]. Since then I had thrown names at him, and just accepted some when he didn’t like them. But other times, I have come up with compromises that sound similar to the name I really liked and he didn’t like, and he liked those.
He has also thrown names at me, and some of them I really didn’t like. [name_m]Silas[/name_m] and Eustice were both that I vetoed out, But Niklaus I liked. So really just going through names and saying what you like and seeing if the other person likes them too is always good.
I also saw someone say how they used sticky notes on the mirror. Each morning they put them in the like side or dislike side, and added names each morning too that that person liked and the other person voted on them.
Credit for the sticky note game goes to @saracita. I feel like lots of dudes just like to stonewall everything so you’ll finally break diwn & go with one of his suggestions. That is not how we operate here. I do up a long list of names that I like & he either has to star what he likes & cross off what he hates, and then might have to rate each name out of 5 so I can tell how MUCH he likes/hates them, and then ultimately I choose from that list once he narrows it down. Usually end up going with a FN he is 100% on board with & a middle he is kind of “meh” about. I just got sick of him shooting down [name_f]Every[/name_f]. Single. Name. that I came up with and not contributing many options of his own.
I’m very lucky that my husband and I have the same taste in names! We made a deal that both of us have to [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] the name, otherwise we wouldn’t use it. He vetoed a few of the names I liked, and vice versa. But we both [name_f]ADORE[/name_f] our short list that we came up with years ago. Thank goodness, I’m almost halfway pregnant with our first, and the name discussion has come up maybe once. Takes a lot of stress out of it.I’d just recommend that you don’t settle for anything that you don’t love. It may take a long time and hours of research (like we did), but at the end you may both realize that you have the perfect name!
