Baby Name Etiquette Question

So I’m expecting a baby girl within the next two weeks. After five agonizing months of baby name research (and I mean agonizing - I’ve read about 12 baby name books through at least once, others multiple times, read countless lists, explored forums, and my DH and I even spent hours reading thousands of names out loud to see how they sound with our last name), we finally settled on a name about three weeks ago. There is no back up name. We’ve told our two year old what the name will be so he’ll get used to it and I’ve been mentally thinking of baby by her name instead of just “baby girl.”

[name_m]Long[/name_m] story short (too late!), I’m a member of a local mom’s social club and another mom put up a birth announcement this week and it turns out her new baby girl has been named the same name we’ve picked. I’ve met this mom twice, but we’re still tangentially part of the same social circle. [name_m]Will[/name_m] it be weird if I still use the name? It’s a top 100 name, but still not super common. I don’t want to look like a crazy stalker lady, but the thought of going through and having to find another name is making me sick to my stomach. It’s easy to say there are millions of names out there, but I swear we’ve looked at them all (well, maybe not millions, but one of the books I read through had 60,000 names so it definitely feels like millions) and there just wasn’t another name that worked for us.

[name_m]Just[/name_m] to add to the weirdness, her baby’s coming home outfit is the exact same one I’ve had packed in my hospital bag for the last month. [name_m]How[/name_m] on earth does this happen?!?!?!

She’s stalking you. Or at least copying your outfit. Go with something very common like [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] or [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] and your daughter will probably have 100 namepals, but nobody will blink an eye.

Wouldn’t be weird. Like you said, it’s in the top 100. It’s gonna be all over Google on numerous top 100 lists made by numerous websites, people etc. It’s going to pop up a considerable amount as it’s used enough to reach such popularity, as in in books, baby naming sites, anything really.

If the name was rare, on barely any sites unless specifically for uncommon/rarely used names, then yeah, it’d be weird.

I can’t answer on the coming home outfit fiasco, that is an annoying coincidence.

The whole thing is kinda weird, but I think you should stick to your guns and use the name you’ve chosen.

Use the name you love, you’ve certainly put the time in and deserve to use it yourself. The coming home outfit thing is really strange though, I don’t really know what else to say about it

I would personally want to change the name, but if it was really agonizing, and long, and you really have your heart set on it, keep it. Who said you even need a moms group anyway?

Use the name you chose! You have worked very hard at choosing the perfect name for YOU and so what if it is the same as another in the mom’s group, especially as it is a top 100 name. No one owns a name and a name in the top 100 is there for a reason, that being that many parents love it and chose it. If anyone mentions that it is the same name as ___, just tell them that you had that name chosen before her child’s name was announced and obviously you both love it. End of story.

I’d still use it. It’s not like it’s your sister or anything.

Use the name. It might feel a little awkward. But you want your daughter to have a name you love and who knows this other mom might move away, you might change social circles. Unless it’s a person you see frequently/are very close to or family member I wouldn’t let someone else’s name choice deter you from using a name you love

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t change the name, especially since its clearly a name you love. Maybe just change the going home outfit.

Stick to the name you’ve chosen. It’s in the top 100, it could easily have happened (as it has). In the long run, I don’t think it will be odd at all

[name_m]Don[/name_m]’t even think about it. Use the name. Unless it’s your BFF or family member just chalk it up to you both having good taste ;). Maybe just mention it to that person next time the group meets or when you write to cogratulate them and just be low key and compliment their taste. You could even laugh about the outfit part!

Stick to your guns and use the name you already have picked out! It’s not the first time this has happened in the history of baby naming. Good luck and congrats!

Honestly, if it’s the name you love, you should use it. [name_m]Said[/name_m] mum should know if she picks a name like [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f] or [name_f]Grace[/name_f] or [name_u]Aubrey[/name_u], she should expect to hear another girl with the same name.

In a word? Coincidence. Especially if she didn’t know that was the name or outfit you were planning on using.

Stick with it. Fast forward 5 years, imagine you’ve had to choose a different name but then lost touch with with the other family. [name_f]Imagine[/name_f] there’s another girl in your daughters class with the same name that you never really wanted. You’d be so full of regret.

If anyone in you social group questions your choice, just say, “oh my daughter was always going to be called ______”.

Use the name you like, duplicates are bound to happen. I was in a Mom group with my last baby and in that group we had 3 Amelias and 3 Abigails in a group of about 40 babies. It just happens sometimes.

The coming home outfit thing is even less of a bother to me. My sister and I had the same coming home outfits for our boys who were born 3 months apart, and I didn’t even notice or realize it until months later. It was just a generic “Hello World” outfit with matching hat from Target, pure coincidence. lol.

Keep the name. Ditch the outfit. If she gets uptight over it, I would ditch the group too. This is a decision your child will carry for the rest of her life. If the name is right… it’s right. :slight_smile:

This is simple …if you will still be friends with the person in 5+ years then yes change the name. If there’s a chance you wont be (which i would imagine is probably the case) then stick with the name you have

If it’s a name you love, keep it! It might be something you and this lady can bond over - if you like the same names you might share other interests, she might be a new friend!

If the going home outfit makes things just a bit too similar, maybe pick a different outfit and use the original for another special day (maybe first time meeting the grandparents/other family/friends?)