My daughter [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is 9 months old. I had a really bad time post birth and could not make a decision about her name. My husband and I couldn’t agree on any names prior to her birth. We hoped we would just know once she was born but I was all over the place emotionally so that didn’t happen. Anyway, my husband and my older daughter ([name_f]Emily[/name_f], 5 years old) really liked the name [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]. It was on my list of names that I liked but probably further down the list than at the top. Anyway it was the only name we could “agree” on in the end since it was the only name that appeared in both our lists! Hubby said I should choose the name and I really wanted to go for one of my fave names but I knew he didn’t really like them and I was so confused! Whilst it may not be my fave name I do like the nicknames a lot and I don’t like most nicknames.
I actually love the name [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] but my older daughter really didn’t like it and my hubby hates the short forms: [name_f]Liv[/name_f] or Oli/Livvi which I don’t think are great . As such I resigned myself to not having that as her name and I was so all over the place after her birth I didn’t really know what I liked/disliked. Now I can see more clearly I still love the name [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], although sometimes I feel like I’m going mad with it so I’m still not sure if I am thinking 100% clearly . I feel in a rush though as she is almost a year and due to be christened soon. My husband would rather not change it but will reluctantly and my daughter went mad at the idea.
I do think [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is very popular in the UK though and likely to be shortened in the future. Help please!
That’s so hard but hard also because you are juggling two names that are similar in many ways: smart, pretty, feminine, confident and classic. I wonder what name you think works best for your daughter and her emergent personality and looks? It’s hard to tell while so young and baby-faced and I’ve just said they’re similar names so in many ways you’re assigning the same sorts of qualities (just listed). But to me there’s at least some difference between:
[name_f]Olivia[/name_f]
[name_f]Livia[/name_f]
Oli
[name_f]Livy[/name_f]
[name_f]Liv[/name_f]
[name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]
[name_u]Charlie[/name_u]
[name_f]Char[/name_f]
[name_f]Lotte[/name_f] / [name_f]Lottie[/name_f]
She is very very likely to have her name shortened by her friends (if not by family) in high school unless you have a last name that is even more ripe for abbreviating!
Is there a shortening of either that you love?
Does she suit her name yet?
I could probably send myself nutty second guessing my 8 month old daughter’s name so empathise fully - it’s a crazy time to make decisions. If it helps, I really do think [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is gorgeous and goes perfectly with [name_f]Emily[/name_f].
Thank you for your reply- I really appreciate your comments and thoughts! I must say she does suit [name_f]Lottie[/name_f] as a nickname as she is very girly looking. It would definitely be my favourite nickname out of all the [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]/[name_f]Olivia[/name_f] options. When she was born people said she looked like a [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] although they didn’t know about the naming saga and you never know if people are just being nice.
[name_f]Lottie[/name_f] is one my all time fave names. I don’t want to sway a mama when she’s already feeling disempowered or at least a bit overwhelmed but STAY WITH CHATLOTTE AND GO WITH [name_f]LOTTIE[/name_f]!!! (My niece is an [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and she very much suits self-assured but pretty [name_f]Liv[/name_f] but people swallow and stumble over the name [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] all the time whereas [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is a delight to say.)
What about [name_f]Olive[/name_f]? I feel like it’s a better compromise. It’s a similar name to [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] but has the e sound and style of [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f].
I would stick with [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]. It’s beautiful. I think your husband and daughter would be very upset at you changing the name after close to a year.
Arial[/name_u]]You could change her name to [name_f]Lottie[/name_f]. It’s the nickname you like and neither [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] nor [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], which could work as a compromise. There’s nothing wrong with having a NN for a FN.
I honestly would say that since she is almost a year, it’s best if you don’t change her name now. Especially if your husband isn’t keen on it. You did the best you could to find a name you both liked, and I really do think it would be better if you stick with it. It could come across as confusing to your older daughter and many other people who have known her as [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] for nearly a year if you change it now. Of course, I can’t tell you what to do, but perhaps you could save [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] for your next daughter.
If I might add, I think [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is a beautiful name. It has many positive associations, too. And it goes perfectly with [name_f]Emily[/name_f]. You may find if you stick it out that you grow to love [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]. Seeing it on your sweet little girl ought to help that:) For now, just keep calling her by the nn you like. There’s nothing wrong with preferring a nn to her given name.
Thank you for your responses. I’m so grateful you’ve taken the time to help in my predicament!
Can I just ask if you are UK based? I’m not sure if [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] has the same associations in the US as the UK. Maybe [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is more unusual in the US?
Regardless I do think my hubby and daughter would be upset if I changed it which is what is playing on my mind a lot.
Oh I’d definitely stick with [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f].
Its a beautiful name and has lovely nicknames: [name_f]Lottie[/name_f], [name_u]Charlie[/name_u], [name_f]Sharlie[/name_f], [name_f]Carla[/name_f], [name_f]Lola[/name_f].
[name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is very regal also
[name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is very common and any [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] I know is always shortened to [name_f]Livy[/name_f] or [name_f]Liv[/name_f] - both of which you dislike.
[name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is so pretty yet timeless, classic and refined.
I think of [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] [name_f]Bronte[/name_f]
My kids all have Irish names as I’m Irish but if I was to choose a non-Irish name then [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] would be in the top 10
I really love [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f].
Are you in the U.K.? Is it the princess association that’s bothering you?
I can understand that. I call my youngest [name_f]Pippa[/name_f] (full name [name_f]Penelope[/name_f]) and it irks me a bit when someone asks if it is after [name_f]Pippa[/name_f] Middleton and I’m from the states. Luckily, it doesn’t happen often.
I recently heard of a [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] nn’d [name_f]Hattie[/name_f]. It seems like a stretch but when you looke at the name the letters are there.
I wouldn’t change her first name after so long but that’s just me. I think that a lot of people would find it confusing and may keep calling her [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] by accident!
[name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is a lovely name though, you could give her [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] as a middle name perhaps??
I agree that you shouldn’t change it. It’s not fair to your husband and daughter, and she is almost a year old. [name_f]Lottie[/name_f] is an excellent compromise, especially since it suits her. If you’re still on the fence, would you consider calling her by her middle name? My mother uses my first name whereas my father uses my middle name, and I have always loved it. If neither option appeals to you, there’s always [name_f]Lettie[/name_f]! It’s completely underused and altogether charming, particularly as a nickname for [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f].
I wouldn’t change it at this point-- and [name_f]Emily[/name_f] and [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] are a lovely sibset! [name_f]Lottie[/name_f] is a cute nn and I agree with one of the above posters-- what about changing her middle name instead? [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is a good combo and maybe this way you can feel like you got to use your favorite name without upsetting your husband and daughter who are used to calling and thinking of her as [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] (and seem to really like the name).
Yes it irks me some people think we named her after the princess and I sometimes think because of the association with the royal family it might be seen as pretentious/stuffy?
I know it’s probably the right thing to do to keep it. The middle name suggestion is a good idea or double barrel? Probably too long to do that though. However I feel annoyed at myself for not knowing my own mind enough after when was born and sometimes I think I should just have been selfish as I know a lot of people who disregarded their husband’s thoughts about the name. I know that’s really quite selfish though right?! Not sure I would have ever been able to do that really. Anyone else experienced anything similar?
I’ve had minor but persistent doubts about my daughter’s name - [name_f]Willa[/name_f] - after swinging from [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] (cool and boyish but not great nicknames) to [name_f]Harriet[/name_f] (didn’t suit her super fair - white blond/ blue eyed - unlike me - colourings) to [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f], [name_f]Susannah[/name_f] and [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] (husband shot down as too fussy and doesn’t like the nicknames I do - Phina, [name_f]Posey[/name_f], [name_f]Zanna[/name_f], [name_f]Suki[/name_f]). [name_f]Willa[/name_f] was the compromise of pretty but unfussy and sturdy, and can see her buddies calling her [name_m]Wills[/name_m]. I still try out her middle name ([name_f]Frances[/name_f]), [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] and a handful of others especially when I’m overtired and overwhelmed. I’m fairly sure it’s just a trick my brain is playing because names are more controllable than life as a (working) mum!
I totally know what you mean about names being more controllable in a way. I definitely find when I’m overwhelmed/stressed the name thing instantly comes up!! There must be something in that.
[name_f]Willa[/name_f] is a cool name though! I imagine a very fun/spunky pretty little girl.
I guess I need to remember that at the end of the day it took two of us to make our baby so two of us need to come up with a name together and a lot of people make compromises to find a name.
That’s the pearl/ key take home! You’ve got it! I need to remember it too. (And yes the signs are there that she’ll be a spunky little babette, if I can say that without seeming like a big poop.)
OP I may be totally wrong but I feel as though you are still struggling with the name [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]. I don’t think I could compromise on her name, the way I feel I am hearing your replies.
Since [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] is upsetting both DH and DD then could you let it go and try talking again to your DH about how you feel about [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]? His saying to you to go ahead and use what your like did not sit well with you because you are not coming across as wanting to have him in the situation that you are. He has said he ‘hates’ the nnames e.g.so that would kind of ruin it for me.
You say you are affected by her impending christening and her age. I am sorry but to see you happy I don’t think either her age and (I hope there is a possibility to delay) her christening are worth making you settle for something you don’t love; but instead give yourselves time to set about finding the name that’s makes you both beam. (You did not say the other names on your list.) Perhaps [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] can be her middle and therefore you get through the change of name that way.
You have been struggling but you have finally reached out, and of course you are feeling you should have done this earlier and not caused any anguish, but it’s out now. You have been brave enough to verbalize this so I would hate to see you ‘settle’ re her name again and even have this continue to be an issue that comes up for you over again. Take this as an opportunity to be very sure.
If my comments offend and by using [name_f]Lottie[/name_f] you are happy then I am very pleased and sincerely apologize.
[name_f]Hope[/name_f] this makes sense –it’s hard to word when I see everyone has recommended the opposite.
My daughter is [name_u]Auburn[/name_u] [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] so it’s not that I don’t like the name but as I struggled with her initials as CAW, I truly grew to love [name_u]Auburn[/name_u] and got A.C.W as well.
All my very best wishes.
I understand what you are saying.
I guess the trouble is that he either hated the names/names on my list or felt quite “meh!” about the others. I hated the names on his. We went through all the names to see if there was one that made us both beam but unfortunately couldn’t find one. You’d think of all the names out there we’d find just one, but no. In fact it was the nicknames of names that really impacted upon our decision as I must admit I really dislike most of the nicknames for the names I like. [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] is probably the only name where I like all the options. However, I prefer other long form names if that makes sense. At the end of the day she’ll grow up and decide what she wants to be called so we thought we had better take into account the nicknames.