edited for privacy*
Oh, I’m sorry. That must feel awful.
For what it’s worth, her name is darling. [name_m]How[/name_m] does your husband feel?
When you think of her, what name do you use in your mind? It may feel just as awkward to change now if you think of her as Clementin3 than it would to not love her first name as much as her middle. If you think of her as Arabell@, have a serious talk with your husband about what makes most sense for the three of you moving forward.
Good luck!
It’s not at all unusual for people to go by their middle names, so I don’t think it would require any drastic changes if the main thing is that you want to call her [name_f]Arabella[/name_f]. Definitely something you need to talk to your husband about, especially since it seems like you’re regretting the compromise more than the name itself.
Is your husband willing to change it? [name_m]How[/name_m] does he feel? If he is open to changing it, I would change it. If not, is he open to calling her by her middle name? It is not too late to change her name, she is only one month old and will not be affected in the slightest! It’s really impossible to know how you will feel once you actually name a baby. Names are different in the hypothetical and sometimes they may not feel right once they are your baby’s actual name. You did your best in the moment! You were about to deliver a baby! Talk to your husband and see if you can come to a solution you are both happy with. It happens to lots of people and there is no shame in making some sort of change if you decide that is best.
I also want to hear if your husband is open to changing it, or using her middle name.
I think you could just start calling her by her middle name. Those are two of the most gorgeous names [name_u]EVER[/name_u]. I love them together in either order!
Sorry I should have mentioned I brought it up with my husband when she was 4 days old and again a week later and he got very upset I even thought about swapping the names or using her middle let alone suggested it! I also think her middle name works better with my sons name ([name_m]William[/name_m], called mostly [name_m]Will[/name_m]) Absolutely no name change and no calling her by her middle name either.
[name_f]Every[/name_f] time I say her name I get frustrated it’s not her middle name I’m saying but I do think of her as [name_f]Clementine[/name_f].
If it really upsets you this much, and frustrates you, then you need to sit down with your husband and find a compromise. Is it just that he really likes [name_f]Clementine[/name_f]? If you love arabella enough to use it on a second daughter also, then maybe he should seriously consider going by her middle or changing her name altogether. The sooner you figure this out the better. It wouldn’t be fair to reuse [name_f]Arabella[/name_f], especially if you’re a name lover who might have more than just that name you want to use later on. Wish you luck on finding a compromise, its really not fair for you to be left to struggle with all this anxiety.
I think it’s worth bringing up to your husband again… I know I would. It might make him upset but you are upset as well and living with it every day so in the very least he owes you a conversation.
One of my good friends let her husband name their daughter. It is not a name she loved or even really liked that much and she disliked it for a very long time… Years. She says now though that she is glad he named her and her daughter’s name suits her very well… I guess it grew on her more and more as her daughter grew into her name.
For what it’s worth, I think [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] is a better middle name than first. [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] is darling and the combination ([name_f]Arabella[/name_f] [name_f]Clementine[/name_f]) is nearly perfect. If you regret it now, I don’t think you’re going to start loving it at any point in the future so I would change it ASAP as to not compromise her development. So sorry you’re feeling this way, but it’s definitely fixable!! Good luck to you, mama!
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] OP -I am so sorry for your regret. It seems a really hard situation, but I am going to ‘throw’ another idea at you.
That is to change her second name and reuse [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] next time.[ I am sure you must be meant to have another daughter.] an idea that has been opposed, I see.
I have noted your issues over pronunciation and that can put anyone off a name. It seems so unnecessary with [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] - there is the old US song - but really - and maybe that issue could be addressed with a shortened version for a time]. [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] is really lovely.
Many dads name their children [as well as mums.] and PP is right - everyone grows to love their names.
If you took away the [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] so it’s not taunting you and concentrated on [name_f]Clementine[/name_f], it may just be easier.
(you obviously have so caring a nature you could not bring yourself to hurt your husband) and remember that next time you are having [name_f]Arabella[/name_f].
I understand your husband is not open to changing at present
but as many say, please talk with him again. If he is getting his choice with [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] for first then he surely can’t have the final say on her second name too.
You may not want to take the chance on the future and prefer to keep it as her second name but loving [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] so much -it seems more like a ‘future first name’ to me.
All my best wishes and remember your daughter will be such a source of joy and love -her name will surely become equally beautiful.
For what it’s worth, I love [name_f]Clementine[/name_f]! It’s the sweetest, happiest name. [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] isn’t my style. It’s pretty, but I don’t have the warm fuzzies for it like I do [name_f]Clementine[/name_f].
I didn’t get to use my first choice name with my daughter. It took me awhile to come to terms with that. It’s her middle name. It still causes a little twinge in my heart when I think about it. However, I love her name and it fits her perfectly. Since your husband is opposed, I would let it go.
Its worth gently discussing it with your husband again over the next few weeks. This is a huge generalisation, but I think Dads do have a harder time changing names once something’s been agreed on. I’ve gone by my middle name my whole life- it does cause a little bit of confusion on visits to the doctors or for official purposes but I’ve never had a real problem with it.
My advice would be to start calling her [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] when you’re alone with her and see how it feels. Mention it to a few other family and friends as well and gage their reaction. To be honest, I had slight name regret with both of mine when they were really tiny, and a lot of people I speak to say that it took time to get used to calling their newborns by their given name. I think for the first few months of my daughter’s life, she was referred to as “[name_u]Baby[/name_u]” or “Pickle” or something silly like that, even though we had picked out her name in the first few months of pregnancy! It does time take for them to grow into their names, and she will change in character so much over the coming weeks. Take your time with it, there’s no rush for now, and don’t forget that you’re in a really stressful situation at the moment with a new baby to look after. Either way, [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] and [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] are beautiful ([name_f]Clementine[/name_f] is at the top of our list for our 3rd!) and I’m sure you and your husband will figure it out 
I love both names! clementine [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] has great flow & she gets an adorable but more unique first name with a classic middle name-perfection!
Is there a nickname for clementine that you love?
Also, I think it’s totally understandable to use her middle name as what you call her-lots of people go by middle names.
I also agree with pp’s that even though it may not seem like it now, she will grow in to whatever name you end up using!
Good luck!!
Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions, they are very helpful. My husband definitely doesn’t want to change her name as he prefers her first name and can’t imagine telling people we have swapped first and middle (I however don’t care at all!) I’ll bring it up one more time and if not I will hope we have another daughter at some stage and she will be named [name_f]Arabella[/name_f].
I was uneasy about my daughter’s name (I picked it) and had major regret afterwards. She is now nearly 3 years old, and her name is hers. It is who she is, and it would be weird to think of her as anything else. Sometimes you just need a little time and it’ll be ok.
I’d also suggest considering a new name for a new little girl should you have one. I know you really love [name_f]Arabella[/name_f], but there are SO many beautiful names, and your girl will likely appreciate having her own unique name than a “recycled” one from her older sister. Plus then your older girl can decide herself that she loves that story of her names, also prefers [name_f]Anabella[/name_f], and prefers to be called that (many, many people I know decided themselves at some point to be called by their middle names). Good friends of mine named their kid a name I really, really wanted TWICE before my own kids were born. I was really sad to not feel like I had that option (although truly, I did, just as you do, but still…) In the end, after some time, I like the names we chose better than the ones that were taken. It really worked out well.
If you decide not to legally change her name (which is entirely possible, not a big deal, and would make a funny story for your daughter - I’ve known a few people change their kids’ names within 3-6 months of birth), why not instead distract yourself by challenging yourself to find and add a number of new names that you never would have considered before but that may be ok. It can be a fun way to find a name you really adore that maybe otherwise missed your attention…
Good luck, Momma. And for what’s it is worth, I agree with other posters that both names are GORGEOUS in either order. And that whole pronunciation thing? It happens with ANY name - seriously! My ex-boyfriend was asked how to pronounce [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] ([name_m]Tom[/name_m]-as or [name_m]Tome[/name_m]-as?) and a friend gets asked how to pronounce [name_f]Melissa[/name_f]. :-?
Thank you for all your posts I’ve come to terms with her first name remaining the same now. Thank you and great idea on changing her second name to keep [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] for a potential first in the future I have a family name that goes well!