I’m new to this board and need some advice. I am the lucky mom of two beautiful healthy daughters. My eldest daughter, I loved her name from the moment we chose it when I was 4 months pregnant ([name]Sofia[/name]). Never doubted her name at all. My youngest is 4 months old and I have been having issues with her name ever since she was born. We choose an unusual italian name before she was born and I changed my mind about it immediately after she was born since I felt it no longer fit. A month later we changed it but I was not totally happy with the choice. It was hard to find a name. We wanted an italian name since we both of italian orgin but with our strong italian pasts it was slim pickings. We chose [name]Liliana[/name], but for some reason i am not comfortable saying it or hearing it. And I find it hard to say [name]Lili[/name] because I feel she doesn’t suit that either. Has anyone else felt the same way? [name]Will[/name] things get better? Sometimes I think I should have just stuck to the original and just shortened it. The original was [name]Giulietta[/name] but lately I have been thinking that maybe I could have just called he [name]Juliet[/name]. I was unsure how I felt about the Shakesperean link and i didn’t want her to get teased about [name]Romeo[/name].
I know where you’re coming from…I’ve had baby name regret after each of my children were born, and I’m sure I’ll experience it again when the twins are born (it’s probably because there are simply SO many names that I love!). First of all, let me just say that I love the name [name]Sofia[/name] and I think it sounds wonderful and elegant with other Italian names in particular. Secondly, If you love [name]Juliet[/name], go for it. We plan to name our daughter [name]Juliet[/name] (next month) and we’ve actually met several little Juliets and Juliettes over the past few years. I really don’t think the teasing potential is such an issue anymore, and I’m hypersensitive to teasing issues (we passed up [name]Gabriel[/name]/[name]Gabe[/name] because of potential “gay” teasing…etc).
Is there anything that immediately comes to mind when you see your daughter?
Thanks for the reply. So confused about things but I know that [name]Liliana[/name] doesn’t feel right . However, I feel that she is becoming her name more and more. Does that make sense? It might be hard to switch at this point especially for our 2and a half old daughter. [name]Do[/name] things get better? I’m pretty depressed about it all.
In my experience, it has gone away each time. We named our oldest daughter [name]Camille[/name] because we were both in love with the name, but she didn’t seem like a [name]Camille[/name] at all initially, which really upset me. She later nicknamed herself [name]Mia[/name], which is completely and totally her, but I’d say she also grew into [name]Camille[/name] (and is still growing into it - she’s only seven). With our others I experienced even more name regret, since I was convinced it was the last time I’d ever get to name a child, and I wanted to use all my favorite names. Ultimately, I think that either the child grows into their name or doesn’t, and I think you’ll know soon enough. Give it a little more time, maybe?
My situation is a little different. [name]Sofia[/name]'s name was so easy to choose that I underestimated how hard it would be choose the second time around. We waited until a week before I was due with my second baby to decide on a name and didn’t let it sit with me long enough. We wanted something unique and italian. Now I wish I would have picked something more classic like [name]Clara[/name] or [name]Elena[/name]. [name]Liliana[/name] was a comprimise that I was not too comfortable with but it was italian and it fit the best. Loved [name]Mia[/name] and [name]Chiara[/name] but [name]Mia[/name] sounded funny with [name]Sofia[/name] and [name]Chiara[/name] would have given her pronounciation difficulties. I changed my mind twice about [name]Liliana[/name] and didn’t want it at the end but DH thought I would doubt any name as my Ocd was acting up and registered her. I’m not comfortable saying it and now it seems really old fashioned and too frilly to me and I find it doesn’t sound good with [name]Sofia[/name]. I never refer her to her by her name and I can’t see myself ever liking it but I’m afraid that if I change it I’ll regret it as I sometimes go back to [name]Juliet[/name] now. But I know If I wouldn’t have changed it I prob wouldn’t be happy with [name]Juliet[/name] ( [name]Giulietta[/name] /[name]Julietta[/name] as my husband would have called her). My Ocd started acting up post delivery making me doubt my decisions even now. Does this all make sense? I basically think about this all time. I don’t like my daughter’s name and I prob never will. I’m pretty depressed about it. Going through therapy now.
I think it will get better with time. I wouldn’t change it. I [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Sofia[/name] and [name]Lili[/name] together (Although I prefer [name]Lily[/name]). They are beautiful names and sound great together! Is there a nickname that you can come up with that would fit her better right now (such as [name]Ana[/name]) or a nickname derived from her middle name?
If you still don’t feel comfortable even saying your daughter’s name, I would change it. You can’t go through life cringing at your daughter’s name. If you prefer the names [name]Guilietta[/name]/[name]Julietta[/name], [name]Clara[/name], and [name]Elena[/name], why don’t you and your husband try out those names to decide which one suits her best - then change it before she gets much older. Family and friends will adjust to the change and eventually will forget about the original one.
I don’t know if this will help but here’s my experience. When I was born my parents named me [name]Gillian[/name]. But my Dad decided he didn’t like the name, so he changed it to [name]Lindy[/name] (don’t ask me why, i guess he just preferred [name]Lindy[/name]). It was the bane of my existence having to correct all of my teachers who called “[name]Gillian[/name]” on the first day of school. Finally when i turned 18, moved out of my parents house and went to college, I started going by [name]Gillian[/name] and never looked back. Much happier now to be going by the name on my birth certificate and all other official documents, plus i think my real name is way prettier than my nickname. Quite honestly i don’t know what my parents were thinking.
When my daughter was born, her name came to us while i was in labor. it was like she named herself. i guess my point is, don’t get too wrapped up in whether or not you like your daughter’s name- maybe she was named that for a reason, and she will grow to love her name as she comes into her identity with it.
The only regret I have so far is giving my second daughter the second name [name]Rose[/name]. [name]Rose[/name] to me is a beautiful name but it’s one of what I call the ‘default’ middle names along with [name]Ann[/name] and [name]Marie[/name] and some others.
[name]Emmeline[/name] caught us by surprise arriving very premature and being a very sick little baby, we had her baptised in the hospital at 3 days old because we were so sure we were going to lose her and just picked the first middle name that seemed to fit for her. Looking back I wish I had taken more time over our choice but at the time my mind was on other things. I am just so grateful we had her first name chosen or heaven knows what she would have been called.
Let me first say I think [name]Liliana[/name] is a very beautiful name and I would be proud of it if it was my own name.
But I really feel for you because I feel the same about my daughter’s name. She is now 19 months. I wanted to change her name from the start. I raised it with my husband a couple of times, but it caused so much tension between us, that I let it go. [name]Even[/name] now I do not use her name. I am always calling her bubby. I kept telling myself that I would grow to love her name because it is her name. But that hasn’t happened. It was a compromise chosen after she was born.
Given that I am in a similar situation, I don’t have any good advice, I just want to say I understand how you feel.
I actually know quite a few people who names were changed in the first 6 or so months of their life. Any confusion now for friends, family and your older daughter will be long forgotten by her first birthday - let alone when she is older.
I would change it - and if you’re totally uncomfortable, why not put her new name in as a middle name and then just call her that? Thats what a friend of mine did - and now that her son’s a teenager he is using his original name again by choice. It isn’t an uncommon thing to do. Lots of people go by their middle names.
If you just weren’t certain, or if you loved it but loved others more I’d say get over it - but seriously, I think you should act now. She’s your daughter and you are the one who has to feel proud of her name (for the next 5 years at least!!!)
Good luck! [name]Don[/name]'t worry about it all too much - it’s SO hard naming a baby x
I REALLY [name]FEEL[/name] FOR YOU!! I still am not totally in love with my three year old daughter’s name. I also tried when she was about 7 months old to convince my husband to change it but he was adamant that we keep it and that I was crazy. Everyone (including my husband) now calls her by a nickname she picked out. I love the nn but still don’t love the name or the extremely common very popular nn that the name usually carries. CHANGE HER NAME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE if you are serious about it is my advice.
My hub will not agree or change. I am depressed and will never have closure or settled. [name_u]Baby[/name_u] is now 3 mos. I brought up.3-4 times now I can’t even bring it up. He makes me feel guilty or shut down. When I took baby boy to his 1st check up.at 1 week old, I cringe when they said his name. It never registered to me until then that it wasnt pronounced the way it was common. I had thought it was pronounced another way. Theres is another way buts its foreign and not even that way either. I called the vital place but they had just processed the bc the other day. Now baby boy is 3 mos and no result and I swear the daily hassle of telling pll to prononuced it the way we prefer or spelling it. I swear in 5 years my hubs will say he is sorry for not listening or understanding but it be too late. My hubs say he goes through this everyday with his own name so i think he is selfish to allow our son go through the same but worst is its not even our culture background but hubs name is. I was being too creative and never sound it out loud or ask others to spell it or pronounced it. Most my family cant pronounced it , try to pronounce it. Its tongue tied and worst…i dont even know how to pronounce it anymore bc if constant diff pronounciation. I just pray a miracle that hubs acceots, move on, be happy but worst coming up with another name is even more stressful and i just pray hubs can say what about this other name. I can never get used to the name. Depressed
I have regret sometimes based on a few criteria- using family based names ([name_f]Riana[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f] for my daughter’s middle name is nowhere near as pretty as what I could have paired it with, but you can’t beat naming her after 4 influential women in my life…), feeling like I never used the names I planned to use (I had a favorite until I got pregnant and couldn’t picture it fitting the baby… picked great names, then realized I didn’t use my favorites. Ouch!)
[name_f]Liliana[/name_f] is a beautiful name. I understand your feeling, but you didn’t pick something terrible or hard to adjust to. She will come into it, and it will be right. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t be hard on yourself or drown in the regret. Easier said than done, I’m sure, but you did choose a great, feminine, bold but lovely name.
