After months of name regret, we decided to change our girls name. She was originally [name_f]Heidi[/name_f], but it never felt right to me. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband pretty much left the decision up to me (although he was supportive of whatever I thought was best) and I ended up deciding to go back to one of my original favorites, [name_f]Emily[/name_f]. We changed her middle name as well to honor my great grandmother, [name_f]Mae[/name_f]. But now… I’m having doubts again. I prefer [name_f]Emily[/name_f] over [name_f]Heidi[/name_f] 100%, but I recently begun considering the name [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]! [name_f]My[/name_f] husband thinks I’m crazy (clearly I am) but we haven’t legally changed her name yet, so I feel like the option is still there. But to complicate things more, I recently found out I’m expecting again. After 11 years of marriage we’ve had our first “surprise”. I won’t know the gender for about another month (doing the early genetic testing to find out). I’ve been a whole muddle of emotions lately. Is [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] better than [name_f]Emily[/name_f]? Should I hold off and save [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] for another potential daughter? We also have an older daughter named [name_f]Clara[/name_f]. I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this except for my husband. Would love to have some input from others.
Congratulations!! It seems like you’ve absolutely made the right decision to change your daughter’s name. I think [name_f]Emily[/name_f] and [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] are both gorgeous options and neither of them are necessarily “better” than the other. [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and [name_f]Emily[/name_f] or [name_f]Clara[/name_f] and [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] (or all 3 if you have another girl) all pair so well together. I think when making this decision you have to disregard the chance that your next may be a girl and name your daughter the name that you feel fits her best. If [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] is your favorite name and fits her well then use it! [name_m]Or[/name_m], if [name_f]Emily[/name_f] fits best go with that. You have another 7-8 months to name this new baby and who knows- you may find another girls name you love even more for this next baby. [name_m]Or[/name_m] maybe it’s a boy anyways!! Good luck with this decision! Whichever you choose- she’ll grow into and it will be her. Give yourself some time to get used to calling her the new name. I changed my name 6 years ago and for a while neither name felt quite right. Now, I’m so comfortable in myself and grateful to have a name that fits me. Good luck! And great job doing the hards things and having the hard conversations instead of living with name regrets.
I think this is a fairly common feeling! Whatever your choice I would make a decision and change the name asap and then don’t look back.
[name_f]Heidi[/name_f], [name_f]Emily[/name_f], and [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] are all so lovely!
[name_f]My[/name_f] favorite with [name_f]Clara[/name_f] is [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]. They both have fairly similar meanings and both feel calm, cozy, and bright to me they both give me a winter-y feel as well probably because of the nutcracker ballet and St. Lucy’s day.
[name_f]Emily[/name_f] is really sweet too and has lovely nicknames…Em, [name_f]Emme[/name_f], and [name_f]Millie[/name_f].
[name_f]Heidi[/name_f] is very pretty too! You really can’t go wrong! Hopefully you find a name soon and feel confidence going with it. After you make the choice just give baby time and whatever the name they will grow in to it!
I think [name_f]Clara[/name_f] [name_f]Emily[/name_f] and [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] are between potential sisters !
I would stick with [name_f]Emily[/name_f] !
I prefer [name_f]Emily[/name_f] over [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], but both are pretty names! I think [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] having the sound “loose” in it is what throws me off and prevents me from loving the name, as I think the name may have more teasing potential than [name_f]Emily[/name_f]. But that’s probably just me and truly it’s a pretty name!
I would go with your gut and then no more second guessing once you decide, there’s so many beautiful names out there it can be easy to overthink things if you allow yourself (trust me I know lol)
She will grow into whatever name you give her and it will be associated with unbelievable love no matter what.
Give yourself grace, naming a human isn’t easy and it’s definitely normal to have these feelings!
There really isn’t a bad choice here. I’d go with [name_f]Emily[/name_f] (Emily [name_f]Mae[/name_f] is so good) but [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] is lovely too. [name_m]Just[/name_m] wanted to remind you that it’s okay to have a “name that got away.” If you pick [name_f]Emily[/name_f], it’s alright to look back fondly on [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] as a name that you loved but didn’t get to use (or vice versa if you choose Lucy).
There are so many emotions right now, being postpartum and newly pregnant - I know that makes this decision extra hard. Sending hugs your way!
Congrats on the pregnancy!
I personally prefer fresh and literary Emily to the storybook Lucy (I prefer Lucia to Lucy) but both go well with Clara; visually, Lucy might go better even. Having said that, matching sibling names is much less important than the child’s own name being loved and sounding good with the surname.
I think you should only change it (again) if your child isn’t too much past the few month mark - so they can start to enjoy and internalise their own name, and where in your case, you have another chance to use Lucy - or Lucas for eg.
It seems common for name anxiety to emerge or exacerbate at the 4-6 month postpartum mark, so would just make sure it’s a real feeling about not liking Emily as much as Lucy rather than the worry about the perfect name. I think there’s likely a handful of perfect names for each child, and us name nerds especially need to learn to live with that. Will you then be unsure about Lucy or does she make you feel a sense of peace about the name?
Finally, don’t worry about what anyone else may or may not think about changing it. It won’t be something you or anyone think(s) about much once the decided name’s in action.
It seems you were right to change from [name_f]Heidi[/name_f] but now you need to make a final decision & stick with a name. [name_f]Emily[/name_f] is perfect and beautiful and pairs perfectly with Clara… so stop second guessing
[name_f]Lucy[/name_f] would make a great sibling though!
Good luck!
I’d stick with [name_f]Emily[/name_f]! It feels like it was an original favourite and I think you’ll regret changing it up again.
Huge congratulations on the birth of your child and your new pregnancy
Gosh personally I love [name_f]Heidi[/name_f] I think she’s so cheerful and bright. However you clearly feel positive about changing [name_f]Heidi[/name_f] which is lovely so I think you made the right decision there.
Now onto [name_f]Emily[/name_f] vs [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] personally I’ve never been a fan of [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] I just hear the word loose so for me this name doesn’t appeal to me. But I know that [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] is a Nameberry darling! However [name_f]Emily[/name_f] is gorgeous such a sweet, enduring, timeless classic with literacy connections and a sweet nickname [name_f]Emmy[/name_f]. [name_f]Emily[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f] is such a sweet delicate name. Very pretty. I think you should stick with [name_f]Emily[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f]. I also think she sounds lovely with Clar@.
I also want to say it’s completely normal to have naming doubts. I really struggled feeling fully committed to my daughter’s name. It’s hard to decision so take your time with it. Your daughter will not recognise her name until she’s 6 months old of course I am not fully aware of your daughter’s age but I just want to reassure and say it’s normal to have doubts.
Good luck with it all
I definitely prefer [name_f]Emily[/name_f]. I am with the other person about the “loose” and potential teasing. But I honestly love the sound of [name_f]Emily[/name_f] way better but you have to go with what fits her & maybe you should wait to see if you’re having a girl to potentially name her [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]. In the meantime maybe call her both emily & lucy to see what feels best.
I def prefer [name_f]Emily[/name_f] over [name_f]Heidi[/name_f] as well
Wow, I’ve gotten so many wonderful responses. Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate the compassion that has been shown… this is so hard and I’ve already spent a lot of time beating myself up about it. I just want to feel confidence and peace about her name. With my older daughter’s name I just loved it to pieces. I had so much joy and pride when I told others her name and I want to feel that with this daughter too. I definitely did not feel that with Heidi… I always felt nervous when I anticipated someone would ask her name. I’ve felt better about the name [name_f]Emily[/name_f]. I’m probably just overthinking this. Thank you for all the love for the name [name_f]Emily[/name_f]. It is a beautiful, well liked name, and I don’t think I’m going wrong with that. I feel like for my own sake I’ve had to explore her name being [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]. I considered quite a few names and I just want to be sure. Finding out the gender of this next baby will help resolve things, I hope. I appreciate all of your perspectives, thank you!
Could some of you chime in on another aspect of the name [name_f]Emily[/name_f] that is bothering me? I’ve liked the name [name_f]Emily[/name_f] since I was a little girl. But when I was pregnant with this last daughter (the name change daughter) I crossed [name_f]Emily[/name_f] off the list because of the meaning. Sometimes eager, hardworking, industrious would come up as a meaning, but most of the time “rival” would come up. I felt like I was setting up my daughters to have a bad relationship if I gave one daughter a name that means rival. [name_f]My[/name_f] sister and I have never gotten along well and that has created fear in me around having multiple daughters. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though I wanted a sister for [name_f]Clara[/name_f] so badly! In addition to that I looked up the meaning of [name_f]Mae[/name_f] and found it means bitter! I chose [name_f]Mae[/name_f] after my great grandmother though. But now I just keep thinking I’m naming my daughter bitter rival. I reconsidered the name meaning when we decided to change her name and told myself that the meaning doesn’t really matter, and that I can just think of it as eager and hardworking. But I still feel bothered because the accurate meaning is rival. Help me feel better about this?
[name_f]Mae[/name_f] can come from [name_f]Mary[/name_f], a name whose meaning is uncertain! Other meanings included ‘beloved’, ‘drop of the sea’ which are often favoured (going to update Mae’s meaning on the database to reflect this). Otherwise, it can come from [name_f]May[/name_f] - as in the month of [name_f]May[/name_f], or from [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], meaning pearl - which could bring more positivity to it.
In terms of rival, one meaning of the word is ‘be or seem to be equal or comparable to’ - so combined with the middle name, it could be seen to mean “to rival the month of may” (as in, equal to the coming of spring/summer), “rival to the a drop of the sea” (as in, rival to something as immense and powerful as the sea), “rivals the beauty of a pearl”, “as rivalled as the beloved” (as in, comparable to your great grandmother)
or even - rival to bitterness - as in competes against bitterness rather than being a bitter rival?
Ahhh gosh it’s so normal to feel unsure about your naming decision and to really look into choices. I think it’s normal to overanalysing! However I do feel this is a little overthought. I wouldn’t say your child’s meaning would result in a certain outcome. For example [name_f]Anne[/name_f] means ‘Grace’ but I wouldn’t say [name_f]Anne[/name_f] needs to be graceful.
However moving away from my overall thoughts on the meanings of [name_f]Emily[/name_f] & [name_f]Mae[/name_f] I really like @Greyblue analysis of the meanings of the names. I really it’s really well thought and positive.
Finally I really like [name_f]Emily[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f] very pretty
Thank you so much for writing all of that out. It made me cry reading it. I appreciate you taking the time to help me shift my perspective. It was really helpful
I haven’t gone too far into it but it seems that [name_f]Emily[/name_f] has both those original meanings: industrious and energetic as well as rivalrous but it can be rivalrous more in the sense of emulating someone than. I would translate it to yourself and convey it to your daugter as: strong and vigorous as the sea, someone solid / of good character who reminds you of and is emulating your precious pearl GGM!
[name_f]My[/name_f] daughter’s name is Will@ which means resolute protector but to her I’ve translated it as someone who is brave, defends others and believes in herself. Some of these names came about in ancient & feudal times when the values of society centred on warrior ideals and ideals that would stop you getting killed. So a rival wouldn’t have had the exact associations it does now. I wouldn’t take these meanings literally as the world today is so different.
Also, it really is much more the messaging around the name than the official meaning - my mum told me my name’s meaning and added that she thought I would live up to my name in XYZ ways. The influence of my name is more the influence of my mother in those conversations than the name itself.
So I agree, make a contemporary meaning for the name and explain that to your daugter, make it as inspirational and uplifting and comforting as you can!
I really like [name_f]Emily[/name_f], I also really like [name_f]Heidi[/name_f]. A third option is [name_f]Holly[/name_f] - a mix of the two! I prefer all these to [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] FWIW.
Good luck!
I thought I would give a little update. We found out through genetic testing that baby appears to be healthy and is in fact a boy we’ve had a boy name in mind for a while now so I’m not really worried about naming this baby. We’re pretty sure he’ll be named [name_m]Oliver[/name_m], not set on a middle name yet. Of course I’m holding everything with open hands for obvious reasons I’ve still been struggling with my youngest girl’s name. Hoping that I will find peace eventually and that things will feel right.