Maybe my momberry/mom-to-be berry friends can help me out here. A friend of mine is expecting a baby within the next couple months. When we were talking about her baby shower, I inquired about a registry because…well…I’ve noticed that people usually bring tons of blankets and cute newborn onesies, but not really things that are truly needed (at least, to my knowledge). I want to get her something she needs. She sent me the links to the different sites/stores where she is set up and I was stunned to see that her registry is nothing but the “big ticket” items. I’m talking a crib, expensive baby swing thing, a $200 bassinet, one of those pricey baby monitors/cameras, and stuff like that. Am I wrong for thinking they (or maybe the baby’s grandparents, if absolutely necessary) should be buying this stuff for their own kid? They both work and make decent money. She insists this is the stuff they want for their shower…
I wanted to buy her something she needed but I can’t afford this stuff… I know I technically don’t have to get her anything, but is it in poor taste to not get something from the registry, if I do attend the shower? I’ve talked to some women I know and they were all complaining about how people didn’t get them things from their registries for their showers…
I normally get a pack of diapers and something else (maybe a grooming kit or clothing, like 6-9 [name_u]MO[/name_u] clothes, since people usually seem to bring newborn stuff) for baby showers. Is that really in too poor of taste here? That’s what I’m being made to think.
Thanks for any help and thanks for reading, in general. I’m feeling a bit rant-y on this right now.
I think you’re allowed to ask for whatever you want in your registry, but it does seem like she’s not being practical with not including some cheaper, but practical items.
I think diapers, wipes, and something like a grooming kit, or swaddling blankets are fine, and will be welcomed.
Diapers and such are fine. For my baby shower, I received a mix of gifts we had registered for, diapers, other baby stuff we hadn’t registered for, hand made stuff and decor that went with our nursery theme. All of it was appreciated.
If you two have mutual friends, then you could go in with some other people to buy one of the registry items. If not, diapers should be fine. And if your friend throws a fit because you get her something that wasn’t on her registry, then she’s being ridiculous.
While I do think it’s fine to have expensive items on the registry (though personally I do think it’s a little more appropriate to have a range of prices, so there’s plenty of items for any budget) I also think it’s fine to buy off the registry, especially if ALL the items are above your price point. Your there to give what You can in support of your friend
I would just buy off registry, and/or get a gift card for the store she’s registered at. Or if you know people you could go in on a bigger item with, that would work. But I think it’s unreasonable to expect you to buy something off registry on your own if it’s only big ticket items. I had that kind of stuff on my registry because I would get a completion discount after everything, but I would never expect people to buy expensive stuff for me!
I’m all for buying what people put on their registry or at least a gift card to go towards things on their registry. The last baby shower I went to the mom had a ridiculously long registry and there were so many things it was overwhelming. 8 different kinds of bottles, 5 different kinds of diaper bags, $2 dollar chewy toys, a $400 dresser. It was too much so we gave her a gift card and a pack of onesies. That way she could get whatever she wanted and I didn’t need to stress my self out.
The lowest priced thing is a $9.99 Dr. Seuss book and the rest of it includes the other pricey items I mentioned, plus things like a $70 bouncer seat, a $170 swing, a $35, 3 pack of receiving blankets, etc.
I may just get whatever I want for them. I talked to her again and she insists they put this stuff on there because they expect to get what they really want at the shower. Can’t please everyone, I guess eyeroll
I think she’s asking a bit much if all her items are $75+. I have items on my registry ranging from $10 - $200, but I don’t expect anyone to buy the $100+ unless people go in together, those items are more there for me to know what I still need. I also kept my registry small, and I told people it was only there if they wanted to buy from it, I’m actually hoping people buy me more clothes and cute blankets, I can get the practical things later. I wouldn’t expect people to spend more than $30-50 on a present unless they choose too. I think your idea of diapers and a grooming kit is perfectly fine! I also like others suggestion of gift card towards the larger items.
I think gift giving has got a bit crazy, my cousin is getting married next month and I’ve just found out they are expecting cash in an envelope rather than presents, and the minimum acceptable amount is $100… I feel like I’m basically paying to attend the wedding, which on top of an outfit to wear, travel, etc seems a bit much.
I am getting married in 6 months and just made my registry a few weeks ago. I tried to give a variety of different price ranges but most stuff is between $30-$50, though there are some bigger ticket items for 100+ (maybe 5 all together). Many places give you up to a 30% discount on items still on your registry that wasn’t bought. I expect the registry to be more of a guide of things I like and would like to have and my style than to an exact stuff. I think you are fine buying off the registry if nothing is catching your eye on it. Depending on the relationship, I’ve also seen more people chip in together to get bigger ticket items. My mom and I did it for my best friend when she had her daughter to get a swing.
I agree with the others that it is ridiculous to expect other people to get those big ticket items! I get wanting to receive things you actually need but you should have a range of prices for every budget. I like the suggestion of a gift card.
If you’re looking for ideas, for what it’s worth, I received more clothes for both kids than they could ever wear - and neither of them fit into newborn sizes, so bigger sizes were appreciated if you do get clothes. Most useful things were the [name_u]Aden[/name_u] and [name_f]Anais[/name_f] swaddling blankets. Books are always appreciated. And I found no one ever thinks to give bath toys - not immediately useful for a newborn but will come in handy within a few months. I’ve been giving bath toys since having my first and people always say they didn’t have any yet. Plus they’re relatively cheap!
If she gets cranky that what you give isn’t on the registry she needs a lesson in gratefulness!
I think a lot of previous posters have made some very good points. I do find it a little inappropriate that they only asked for big ticket items, and love pp idea of getting a gift card from the store that they are registered at or going in on a bigger gift with someone. I would add though that if you are going to get them whatever you want, dont get a variation of something on the registry. Like the 35 dollar receiving blankets for example. I wouldnt bring them receiving blankets if I weren’t getting the ones they wanted or asked for on their registry. Of course you dont have to buy that or anything for them. But maybe some things that they might not have on their registry that could be more useful or practical would be a good idea, like diaper cream, gripe water, nursing tea or cookies if they are nursing, little things like that, that they could use and dont have any reason to be picky about.
Eh, if she only registers for big-ticket items, she’ll probably end up with a bunch of off-registry items. I’m shocked at the consumerism tied up with everything baby (and weddings!), but that’s another conversation.
I tried really hard to have a good mix of prices, starting at $5, with most $15-40, with just a couple of larger $100+ items that I figured family or a group of people might go in on, and if not, I wanted the registry discount. I got most of my registry items as a result, although I did still get a bunch of blankets and newborn clothes. I also made it very clear that we’d love hand-me-downs and books! And I was always super excited by the “boring” gifts of diapers and wipes–we’re 8 months in and still haven’t had to buy a single one!
In your case, I’d probably get baby a book and a gift card to somewhere she’s registered and call it a day.
Your friend broke the first rule of creating a registry by not putting a wide range of differently priced items. That was her bad. She can’t complain about her friends not shelling out hundreds of dollars on her gifts.
Typically you purchase items based on your relationship to the person. If she is a co worker a $20 gift is great, casual friend $30-40, close friend $50-$70, distant relative $20-30, close cousin or sibling $50-70, parents and grandparents buy the pricey items. Aunts and uncles about $50 or they can all pool for a big gift.
Since she didn’t give enough options, its totally up to you to get her an appropriate and affordable gift. Have fun baby shopping!
Totally understand where you are coming from! Most people have a range of prices on their registry. The high ticket items are typically for grandparents to be or very close relatives who like to splurge. In my case, we did put some high ticket items on our registry, a few we knew our parents would want to buy, but the other items are for after the shower. If you didn’t know, most places give you a discount after your shower date on the remaining items. Target does like 10-20%. That’s why most people put the big items on there, it’s so they can get a discount after the shower. (At least among the people I know.)
I will say we got tons of stuff that were off the registry and were all very appreciated. Most people just include a gift receipt, so if it’s something we got duplicates of we could return one.
Like other people have said, you could always go in on a gift with several people (if you know them) or you could just do a gift card. Or diapers and wipes are ALWAYS needed. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if she doesn’t appreciate them when she gets them, she will definitely appreciate them later.
One last thought - a lot of first time mom’s don’t really know what they will want and need. It’s really just a guess until you figure out your baby anyway. At least that’s how it was for me!
I’ve been to more baby showers than I can count. I always get a gift card for Walmart or Babies R Us or a place like that. This way it keeps in my budget and it lets the parents pick up/put towards the larger ticket items that they didn’t get.
I was absolutely stunned to read what type of gifts were expected at a baby shower. I have only ever been to two (over 20 years apart for eldest and youngest granddaughters.) I made a point of giving each of my 10 grandchildren 2 sets of clothes each, plus assorted toys etc. For youngest one she received a hand knitted topsy turvy doll ([name_f]Cinderella[/name_f]).
When I had my children I received usually one gift one item of clothing, one or two small toys. Biggest item was a pram/stroller from grandparents. We purchased the rest, and were proud to do so. . My daughter had purchased sufficient items for her last baby, and people LAVISHED NEWBORN SIZE CLOTHING ON HER. The baby had too much. When buying baby gifts for others, I always purchased clothing in a bigger size. Surely parents expect to buy big tickets items themselves. I think a baby shower should be for thinks like nappies, wipes, maybe photoframes, etc the little special things that are extras.
I hate to say it, but big ticket items sounds very greedy to me.
I just wanted to take a minute and pop back up on this post. I’ve stopped replying but I did still read your responses and do appreciate the advice and thoughts given. I ended up just getting a children’s book and a gift card to where she is registered. Budget-friendly and also allows her to get something she wants/needs.
