Balancing Multiple Naming Priorities?

General Name Discussion
1

I have lots of different qualities of the ideal name I’m searching for. But I just cannot decide which ones are or should be the real priorities.

Ideally, my third and final baby’s name would:

  • Not begin with the letters A or H (first name)
  • Include a prominent but not obnoxious O or io
  • Include a hard K sound somewhere for the alliterative effect with our one-syllable K surname
  • honor my MIL’s side without naming AFTER people
  • honor my maternal (mitochondrial) line in some way
  • have a beautiful meaning across all the names
  • Include at least one name or nickname my partner LOVES, not just likes and indulges
  • work across all three languages in our home ([name_f]English[/name_f], [name_u]French[/name_u], Japanese)
  • Be special to me in the context of when they are born
  • Be long and grand enough to match the gravity of H’s 7-syllable full name, A’s 10-syllable full name (hyphenated surname)
  • Be fun and feel totally perfect and like it is completely my style

And that is all a lot (or more realistically, just too much) to ask of a name… I’m not REALLY, actually expecting one combo to do it all, but I really struggle figuring out which of these things are more important than others.

How does one balance competing elements within a name choice and still be completely happy in the end?

3

This is very obvious, but the most important thing is that it is a name you love.

Therefore, if you find a name that you love the sound of, you may not feel that your requirements for specific sounds and letters in the name are important.

If you find a name that is an honor name that you love, the strict meaning of the name may be less important than your connotations.

If you find a name that fits many of your requirements, you may not worry about the length.

As long as you love it and it feels like it fits the child, you may decide that some of the other concerns are secondary.

I would look for all kinds names that ‘spark joy’ and go from there. You and your partner can look at names you both love and evaluate how usable they are; you can also look for names that meet certain criteria, and compare them to names that work for other requirements. You might find some overlap.

Ultimately, I am sure you will find a lovely and meaningful name! I’m sure what is really important to you will eventually become clear. Best of luck!

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I won’t add much since @almostactually has already shared some excellent words of wisdom. I feel like you might benefit from stepping back from your criteria and the methodical process you’ve taken so far to satisfy it. You’ve done the hard work of building your short list which gets as close as it possibly can to meeting your preferences. Now you can sit back and let your feelings and attachments guide you. It might be useful as an exercise to focus on one name for a week or so at a time, so that name gets your full attention and you have the opportunity to notice your distinct feelings for each one.

The last thing I will say is that you can ignore the last point on your list because any name you choose for your next baby will be perfect once it’s the name of your beloved child. Think of how special and right A’s name is and yet for completely different reasons. A name doesn’t need to meet requirements to be perfect.

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6

Thank you so much for all this feedback.

This is an excellent idea… I’ll do this. I had decided on our girl name for last pregnancy by about halfway through pregnancy. If I were to do this exercise of immersion with discipline starting now, it would take me halfway through pregnancy if I’m lucky enough to get pregnant right away… and if I’m not, I’m sure more combos will present themselves to fill the time or I will settle into the right name before I even realize it.

So, so true. I feel that with H’s name I had it all laid out beforehand (the girl option gave me a lot of trouble but ultimately felt perfect, too) and felt a sense of freedom in that he was the first and I could have set the trend with anything.

Then A was the total wildcard. I had exactly zero idea what we would get and have been so so pleased with it.

I just assumed that with our third, I would stylistically be sewing together two completely disparate names to tie everything together. But H’s and A’s names go so well together already that perhaps I don’t need to focus on the unity of the sibset nearly as much, perhaps not at all!

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