[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I will be starting to try for children in a few months and we love talking about baby names. We have a list of roughly 10 names for each gender that we like and about 3/4 that we really like, in which we’ve placed them in their own column with middle names to match. We don’t talk to many people about our baby names, as it’s far enough out and we feel it’s private. [name_f]My[/name_f] older sister-in-law is very outspoken and talks about names all the time. She recently raved that she loved the name [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], with the nickname [name_f]Nora[/name_f]. [name_f]Nora[/name_f] is on our list (a top contender), but we didn’t vocalize that and when she brought it up, I simply commented that it was a lovely name and we liked it too.
I’m sure you can see the dilemma unfolding. We love the name, but hadn’t shared that with anyone yet. She loves it and shared it with the world. We will most likely end up trying to have children around the same timeframe (if not, my husband and I slightly sooner) and I’m not sure what to do. Obviously, who knows if we will both have girls. Additionally, we currently live on the west coast and would most likely only see each other on holidays (as they live in the Midwest).
That all being said, do I keep [name_f]Nora[/name_f] as a possibility (even though she will now undoubtedly think I stole it from her), let her use it and move on to other names on my list, explain to her that we also liked it early on and would like to use it if we have a girl or both use [name_f]Nora[/name_f] since we don’t live close together?
You could try discussing baby names with her and asking for suggestions. You never know…she may come right out and suggest it. Then it would be more like she helped name the baby and less like you stole the name. If she doesn’t suggest it, just say you like it again and get her response.
A few things to consider:
First, you say that your [name_m]SIL[/name_m] is outspoken and talks about names a lot. Does she frequently rave about specific names? If this happens a lot, it’s not fair for her to expect (if she does) that everyone else will cross every name she raves about off their own lists. If she doesn’t often make these declarations, I think it’s only fair to treat them with a bit more consideration.
Second, do you get the gist that she’s earmarking names she raves about for future use, or is it more her expressing her tastes? Did she say “[name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] nicknamed [name_f]Nora[/name_f] is my number one name for my future baby” or did she say “Know what name I think is awesome? [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], with the nickname [name_f]Nora[/name_f]”?
Third, how close do you feel you are to her? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you chat all the time, or do you mostly just communicate when you see her? If you don’t live near one another, don’t talk a lot, and only see each other occasionally, consider whether you would be OK with both of you having daughters called [name_f]Nora[/name_f]. To some people, this would be unthinkable; to others, it would be perfectly fine.
To answer your actual question: I’d say yes, keep [name_f]Nora[/name_f] as a possibility. As you said, who knows if you will both even have girls, and either of your preferences may change in the meantime.
Best of luck! (And I know this wasn’t your question, but [name_f]Nora[/name_f] is lovely!)
Thanks for the feedback!
She has not raved about too many names. She says she ‘likes’ name fairly frequently, but she hasn’t quite emphasized a name like this before. Part of me thinks that it’s a bit unfair, seeing as though [name_f]Nora[/name_f] is a popular name. It would be different had it been a unique name I could have only heard of through her.
We don’t have a terribly close relationship. We enjoy each other, but I don’t foresee us having that friend/sister bond. I see it as being a more casual relationship during family functions and holidays.
I agree that preferences may change. I may wait to cross this bridge in a few months, but it’s nice to hear from other people!
Thank you, I agree that [name_f]Nora[/name_f] is a great name 
I think dismissing a beloved name just because your sister-in-law said she liked it it’s quite exaggerated. [name_f]Nora[/name_f] is hardly a unique name that’s very in style, so it’s quite normal that you’ll meet people who like it as well.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] if your s-i-l was already pregnant or had a [name_f]Nora[/name_f], I still don’t think that should keep you from using the name if you really love it. Having cousins with the same first name is perfectly normal.
Another option is to use a full name that would distinguished from her hypothetical cousin [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]/[name_f]Nora[/name_f]. [name_f]Annora[/name_f], [name_f]Honora[/name_f], [name_f]Eleonora[/name_f], [name_f]Leonora[/name_f], [name_f]Lenora[/name_f], [name_f]Norina[/name_f], Norberta?