I have name lists for possible future children dating back to when I was 7 or 8 (not many left on the oldest list that I’d consider now–maybe Emmanuel?–but still.) I was thrilled to discover Nameberry back in 2011, a year before I met my husband and several years before we got together. There are other people like me! They’ll talk about names all day!
I always told myself, while I collected names and put together beautiful combos, that it was only for fun. I had names I’d love to actually use, yes, but I told myself my future husband might hate my favorites, and/or have favorites and family honors himself.
Then we got married, got pregnant right away, and I pulled out the lists and got lucky–he fell in love with my dark-horse favorite boy name. The girl pick was a little more of a process (he ended up picking one of the middles off my BOY list and saying, why not use it for a girl? And it’s been our girl choice ever since.) But we had a boy. I didn’t get to use the middle I loved best with his name–we went with an honor from my husband’s side–but it’s fine, and I was and am completely tickled that I got to use his name.
Our second son was even easier; we already had the girl name picked, and we used our runner-up boy name. It’s a lot higher on the charts (actually our first hasn’t charted in many years), which concerned me a little–were they too mismatched?–but it was our favorite that time around, has a great meaning and had also topped my boy list for years, so no regrets. We put my dad’s middle name in the middle.
#3 has been a struggle. We still have our girl name, and everyone says it’s a girl, but we’re team green for the third time so needed to choose a boy name also. The stakes felt higher this time–it needs to work with the siblings! Cohesive but not too matchy! The third child tips the parents’ naming-style hand!–and every one of our favorites had some kind of flaw. We’ve finally made a choice we’re happy with, but if this is a girl some of our boy runners-up will be going back on the table if we have a fourth. The only problem with a couple of them is that they just don’t work as well for #3.
So I think my “status” as a nerd has been both a help (I actually have lists, while my husband has few suggestions) and a hindrance (I overthink some things, especially similarity between names. The reason we landed on Boy Choice 3 in the end is because it continued to bother me that a couple others sounded too similar to our second son’s name.)