It’s funny how it works out - I’d had a name in mind for a boy from my early teens, one day I said to my mum “If I ever have a boy, I’ll name him Luke” and I felt certain that would be the case but I hadn’t given much thought as to whether my hypothetical partner would agree! When I was pregnant with my son, DH instantly vetoed it as he had a colleague called [name_m]Luke[/name_m] and thought it would be “weird” to have the same name!? He then proceeded to shrug / say no / look bemused for any of my other beloved name suggestions. As it turns out, my son’s name came to us out of the blue - I was really sick with HG and couldn’t even look at a screen or read, so I started listening to a lot of audio books - I heard my son’s name on a main character, mentioned it to my DH (and mum who was staying with us at the time), they both said they liked it and I knew then that we’d found “the one”. Although a popular name, it had never been on my radar up until that point. Never had any regrets over his first name and he’s nearly 6 now… For the middle name, this is where I feel being a name nerd hindered me as I was so focused on the first, middle and surname flowing well, that I didn’t use a meaningful middle. I do regret that, especially as my maiden name is actually a boys name and I think it would’ve meant a lot to my dad to use it.
Now I’m in a position where it’s not looking likely we’ll be able to have a second child (doesn’t stop me having a running list of names though) but I’ll always have a strong interest in names and etymology in general, so I’m glad I’ve found this forum so I can still talk names! I definitely have some names / combos I love but wouldn’t be practical to use in real life. (If you’ve made it to the end of this ramble, then thank you!)
This is such an issue. I have been “into” names since my teens and I’m now in my 30s; my taste has changed so much - from being unironically into the idea of actually using names like [name_u]Jagger[/name_u] at 16 to choosing [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] for my son at 29. The thing is, I still have a place in my heart for names like that in certain contexts, just not real world contexts. As I’ve grown, I’ve become much more conservative. It’s cool if you disagree - we all have our own sensibilities and for different reasons, which have developed as organically as we and our lives have. [name_f]My[/name_f] predominant name taste and philosophy for real world name use today at going-on 33 is far to the right of Nameberry’s sensibility and anything I would have fantasized about as a teenager. Choosing a name for my son was a lot more difficult than the fun hobby of choosing names for use in a version of the world that only exists for me and applies to me, either for imagined purposes or for other contexts. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband was difficult to contend with as he seemed to have a problem with everything I suggested, and the stakes went up a lot as we began to seriously consider real matters, including but not limited to the fact that it is the child’s name - not ours, that the child will grow up, that the world functions in a certain way whether anyone likes it or not, and our own actual beliefs, cultural and social sensibilities and values.
As a Namenerd, I have the names I want to use set. I also know that not everyone is a Namenerd. In addition, I know that names important to me are not always (ok, rarely) going to match that of another person. Both of these last two statements will more than likely apply to whoever I’m blessed to name children with.
As someone who will (hopefully) be naming kids someday, I know that there is three possible outcomes and have prepared for all 3.
1. I have a family on my own and use all the names I love… well, as many as possible anyway.
2. I meet the SO of my dreams and we decide to have a family together.
a. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO loves (or likes or tolerates) my name choices and I get to use them.
b. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO hates (or can’t stand or has bad associations with them) and we have to find all new names.
As a lifelong name nerd, I was so surprised by how hard it was to actually name real life babies. Mostly because in all my imaginings I never thought I would have a partner who was so uninterested in talking about names. Literally like pulling teeth. But somehow he is also very opinionated and hates almost everything. How could my kind, thoughtful, funny, intelligent husband hate talking about baby names?? It’s so fun !?! It still boggles me.
That’s one thing I think people on here don’t realize either until they are actually going through it that it is important for both partners, if two people are involved, to love a name because two of you are coming together and creating a magical human being who is a piece of both of you.
I was also surprised by how important honor names came to be to me. And that ended up being more important than popularity or name flow.
I love reading these stories and seeing how the journey is so different, and yet so similar, for everyone.