Today I was referred to nameberry by a close friend as we were both having trouble answering a question I had in regards to the name [name]Benjamin[/name]. I simply adore the name, my husband does as well and it seems to be one of the only boy names we do like–the others are [name]Arthur[/name] “[name]Artie[/name]” and [name]Felix[/name]. And we believe it goes well with our other children’s names; [name]Julie[/name], [name]Mara[/name] and [name]Hugh[/name]. We are expecting our new little boy in [name]January[/name], and will probably bring a couple names to the hospital to decide.
The dilemma: [name]Benjamin[/name] is the name of a friend who grew up with me and although he is a lovely guy its not like I want to name my child after him (as we have sort of drifted apart)… And we know others who know me would assume that I did, I have already told my mother who thought it was a little strange despite him being the son of one of her best friends.
I really love his name, but this I cannot seem to get pass…
I feel your pain! I have the exact.same.problem with [name]Benjamin[/name]. I say if it’s what you love, go for it anyway. You can always just answer people’s questions with a shrug and a “Meh” type response. They should get the picture pretty quickly that he wasn’t named after said old friend, without you having to delve into the reasons you’ve drifted apart, etc, etc. That is, unless the person is like my stepmother, who can never let these things rest
FWIW, I much prefer [name]Arthur[/name] with your other children’s names. That’s not to say [name]Benjamin[/name] doesn’t work, I just like [name]Hugh[/name] and [name]Artie[/name] as brothers!
If everyone close to you really will assume you named your son after Childhood [name]Ben[/name], perhaps you should steer clear.
I quite like [name]Artie[/name] as well-- it’s sweet, with the kingly strength of [name]Arthur[/name] standing behind it, and has a jazzy vibe via [name]Artie[/name] [name]Shaw[/name].
I think it would be stranger if you were still close to your old friend [name]Benjamin[/name]. It’s a very traditional name-- it won’t be nearly as bad as if your friend have a very unique name that you used. I think if you love it, you should go for it. If people ask, just tell them you love the name.
That being said: J-U-lie and H-UgH share the “u” sound and M-AR-a and AR-thur would share the “ar” sound. I like the symmetry of that choice. Good luck!
Thanks for your opinions they were all very helpful.
@marissalou—I did not notice that [name]Mara[/name] and [name]Arthur[/name] shared the same sound, thats actually pretty neat… [name]Will[/name] have to consider it then. Thank you.
I love all three names [name]Benjamin[/name], [name]Arthur[/name] and [name]Felix[/name]!
I would still use [name]Benjamin[/name] if it is the name you really love. If people ask, just say no he is not named after so and so and that it is a name you and your hubby both loved and could agree on. Eventually they will move on and won’t even think of it. Like others said, [name]Benjamin[/name] is a traditional enough of a name that it shouldn’t come across as if you are stealing his name.
I swear I could come up with a reason to take off almost every name on my list but it hard enough to find a name both you and your DH or partner love so if that’s your fave name the use it. [name]Benjamin[/name] is a great name (in my top 5 too) and a classic…after a few months no one will even think about your old friend.
I think that because [name]Benjamin[/name] is a classic you shouldn’t let old buddie [name]Ben[/name] stop you!
I have this problem with a handful of gorgeous, unique names that would be too obviously connected to old friends.
If anyone messes with you just tell them you greatly admire [name]Benjamin[/name] [name]Franklin[/name] to shut them up!
Unless of course there was any romantic feelings on either end between you & the old friend. If that’s the case I think you should forget the name entirely.
