First day back on Nameberry and here’s my third thread of the day lol.
I’m very early in my pregnancy and haven’t been to the doctors yet… hoping to go around 8/10 weeks. Right now I’m five. So I will discuss this with them. But was hoping for some thoughts/insight/advise before then.
So the plan for my first was natural birth. I took a hypnobirthing class and was very confident my body could do it. I went to the hospital with extreme contractions and they sent me home with an ice pack and heating pad because my baby was turned the wrong way. They also had an attitude and didn’t believe i was in active labor because I was so calm. I could feel my body forcing him out and it felt like his head was jamming inside of me. I did most of my laboring at home scared to go back because I didn’t want them to tell me he wasn’t ready. And send me home again. [name_f]My[/name_f] mother and SO made me go back about 12 hours later and they were shocked how far I progressed. They set up the birthing tub but by then I got comfortable and didn’t want to be moved around… or use it. I was getting scared of the pain and didn’t get the epidural just yet… I forgot what the other medicine was called. And they broke my water. Nothing progressed after the medicine and my whole labor was 24 hours. I ended up getting an epidural at some point. And then on the 24th hour I pushed for about an hour and he finally arrived.
The reason I’m giving so much back story is because when he came out, my babies head was mangled. It looked so bad. Huge bumps all over and very cone shaped towards the back of his head. They assured me this was normal. They said he was a healthy baby. We told everyone he was okay. And when we were taking newborn pictures we noticed he would jolt a little bit as if he was frightened.
24 hours after birth the nurse wanted to take him to get his hearing and eye test. I instantly was panicked and didn’t want to be away from my baby. I knew something was wrong. They assured me that I was tired. Needed some rest and everything was gonna be okay. They would return him within an hour. Exhausted I fell asleep. And an hour on the dot I woke up and he wasn’t in the room. I texted my dad saying I have a terrible feeling something bad happened. He told me to get some rest.
I woke up my significant other saying please go check on our baby. They said he would be back in an hour and he wasn’t back
[name_m]Just[/name_m] then the nurse walked in
She said silas wasn’t breathing and kept having spurts where he was turning blue.
She said the doctor is monitoring him and the second he stops breathing they try to stimulate him to take a breath. He had to be placed on a breathing machine and rushed to the bigger hospital and Nicu in our area.
He had to be taken in a incubator with breathing machine in the ambulance and there was no room for us to go with him.
I was panicked. They discharged me early so I could drive down. We beat him to the hospital actually because of how fast we went
To get to the end, our baby had a hemorrhage in his left temporal lobe. The bleeding caused mini strokes. And epileptic seizures that would stop his breathing.
In the nicu they told me he may never remember his name. He was on phenobarbital for a year. His hemorrhage is now scar tissue. And other then a “potential aneurism (that’s too small to be considered an aneurism) in his sinus cavity, he is completely fine seizure free. He Is in prek reading at a second grade level and doing math at a first grade level… he also remembers his name and everybody else he’s ever met.
Looking back I wish I spoke up for myself and my body. I wonder if I would have had a c section if all that damage wouldn’t have been caused to his head.
The doctors also told me no information about what else could have caused this.
I’m pretty small for my height. I was 120 before I had silas and I’m 5 8
This pregnancy I started at 111-114. I know it’s just weight but maybe my body just isn’t big enough to give birth naturally ? I’m just built slender.
I’m also petrified to have a c section! I’ve never had surgery , I never even had stitches. I am completely squimish when it comes to blood. I also forgot to mention I fainted the first time I stood up after having [name_m]Silas[/name_m]. I feel like my body would be in total shock. I’m nervous about the scar and recovery afterwards having a c section. I’m most of all petrified now that I know what could go wrong. I feel like any option is so scary and I don’t know what I should do. Decide last minute based on intuition or come up with a solid birth plan that I can advocate clearly for myself. Also praying praying praying this pandemic ends. I can’t imagine having a baby without my family by my side. I wouldn’t have survived what happened to silas with out them.
Thoughts? Prayers? Anyone have a vaginal birth then a c section for the second? How was it.
Thanks for listening.