I have a 4 year old son who is named after my husband, [name_m]Zachary[/name_m] [name_u]Ryan[/name_u]. We are expecting boy #2 in 9 weeks and he still doesn’t have a name. We were really dead set on naming him [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]. The problem is that [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] is my brother’s name and several family members from my husband’s side have expressed their displeasure and blatant jealousy that we did not choose their name. For the most part I loved [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] not because it’s my brother’s name but because it’s a strong name that goes nicely with [name_m]Zachary[/name_m] and it’s just an added bonus that he’d share it with my brother.
If we were to go with one of their names our list would consist of:
[name_m]Roger[/name_m] (FIL)
[name_m]Brandon[/name_m] ([name_m]BIL[/name_m])
[name_u]Tyler[/name_u] ([name_m]BIL[/name_m])
[name_m]John[/name_m] (DH’S Uncle)
I personally dislike all of those names and don’t think they sound nearly as nice as [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m].
If I were to remain neutral and not honor family members our list would consist of:
[name_m]William[/name_m]
[name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_u]Hayden[/name_u]
[name_m]Jacob[/name_m]
I guess I am mostly looking for opinions on what to do in this situation? I am open to using one of his family member’s names as a middle name but the only one I like enough to use is [name_u]Tyler[/name_u] and that would certainly upset my other [name_m]BIL[/name_m] and if I were to use [name_m]John[/name_m] it would enrage my FIL. It all seems very silly and immature but I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I like my non-honoring list too but I think I’d still secretly always wish he was [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m].
Since you already have one son named after your husband’s side it seems very inequitable and unreasonable of them to demand you do it again. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if that wasn’t the case though, it’s not their decision. They can name their own children one of those names, but they shouldn’t be dictating your options. Your husband should take responsibility to address his side and explain that they are making you both uncomfortable.
Definitely go with [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m].
[name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] [name_m]William[/name_m]
[name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] [name_u]Hayden[/name_u] all sound great!
[name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] [name_m]Roger[/name_m] if you really must
I say go for Nicholas! It’s the name you love and I think you’d regret not using it.
You could of course explain that you simply like the name, but ultimately it’s your baby, not theirs.
Though, what would Nicholas go by? If Zachary goes by Zach then Nick feels too close, but he could always be called Nico or his full name.
Ignore them and choose the name you love. What possesses some people to lobby for their own name to be used is beyond me; it all seems very childish and self-absorbed. If [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] is the name you want, go ahead and use it!
Assuming you are the one carrying the child, I want you to understand something: this child is yours, you’re growing it, and you should damn well be allowed to choose his name.
These other people involved? They didn’t make this baby, they don’t own your body or the life it carries. You don’t have to honor any of them whatsoever. Who the hell are they to tell you what to name your baby?
Give the child the name you love. Name him [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]. The men who are annoyed about it will get over it once the child is born and they’ll turn their attentions to something else they can be unjustifiably angry about.
Never ever sacrifice something you love for the sake of a man’s ego. (Especially when it’s not even the man you married!)
Adding my voice to the chorus of others encouraging you to stick with [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]. Your husband’s side already has their honor name since your first son shares dad’s. It’s perfectly reasonably to use a name from your side of the family for your second kid - and like you said, it’s more coincidental than explicitly honorary. You’re not responsible for your in-laws’ (self-centered and exclusionary) feelings. [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] does go well with brother [name_m]Zachary[/name_m]. I have half a mind to say his middle name should come from your side, too, just to keep things fair and balanced with his brother’s name. I’m indignant on your behalf. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t let them pressure you!
I’m going against the grain here and say no family names whatsoever. Using [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m] could cause resentment and bias towards the kid whether intentionally or not and that’s a lot to put on a child. From your list I’d go [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m].