I was going to use “[name_f]Lily[/name_f]” as a middle name for my future first daughter to give remembrance to my grandma. Her name was [name_f]Susan[/name_f] which has the meaning of “lily”. He is using [name_f]Lillian[/name_f] for his daughter’s name, but they will call her [name_f]Lily[/name_f]. He just picked the name because it’s the only one him and his wife could decide on. I find it really hurtful that he forgot I was going to use it for a special reason.
What could I do to still honor my grandma? I feel like using [name_f]Lily[/name_f] now would be too weird or his wife would find some reason to say I’m copying them even though I have saved files from years ago where I’ve had [name_f]Lily[/name_f] written down.
Any suggestions?
I’m sorry, how disappointing for you! I actually personally think the name [name_f]Susan[/name_f] is lovely and would suggest using it as a middle.
Other ideas though…
[name_f]Susannah[/name_f]
[name_f]Zuzanna[/name_f]/[name_f]Zuzu[/name_f]
[name_f]Suzette[/name_f]
Also could you use another flower name to go with the botanical theme? There are so many lovely ones…
[name_f]Ianthe[/name_f]
[name_f]Posey[/name_f]
[name_f]Camellia[/name_f]
[name_f]Flora[/name_f]
[name_f]Zinnia[/name_f]
[name_f]Dahlia[/name_f]
[name_f]Acacia[/name_f]
[name_f]Calla[/name_f]
[name_f]Daisy[/name_f]
[name_f]Viola[/name_f]
…
Uh, yeah. [name_f]Susan[/name_f]. It has more meaning and is so much more unique than [name_f]Lily[/name_f]. Especially since you only want it in the middle. If you don’t want [name_f]Susan[/name_f], I love suggestion of [name_f]Susannah[/name_f].
You should use [name_f]Susan[/name_f]. Honestly, I’m not a fan of using the meaning of a name, especially if it’s in the middle name spot. To me, naming her [name_f]Lily[/name_f] really isn’t a big tribute, at least not nearly as big as naming your daughter [name_f]Susan[/name_f], because [name_f]Lily[/name_f] is a name in its own right. Your brother probably didn’t do it on purpose. His wife probably mentioned [name_f]Lily[/name_f] as a possibility and he thought it sounded pretty. He probably forgot your plan (most men do, especially when it’s not their wives suggesting a name).
I suggested both [name_f]Susan[/name_f] and [name_f]Susannah[/name_f] to my husband and he dislikes them with a passion. He’s the kind of person who either loves or loathes a name. 
Unfortunately…
I think [name_f]Susannah[/name_f] is adorable.
Also if you’re not actually expecting, and you’re not actually using your grandmother’s name but rather a symbolic tribute, it’s probably not fair to be upset with him. If you really want to honor her, use [name_f]Susan[/name_f]. If you’re drawn to [name_f]Lily[/name_f] because it’s pretty and has that subtle connection, simply be honest with yourself that that’s why you like it and think of another route to the honorific. Maybe an S name?
And honestly, [name_f]Lily[/name_f] in the middle slot with cousin [name_f]Lillian[/name_f] in the first slot isn’t too close to bear.
I don’t particularly like the name [name_f]Susan[/name_f]. Which is why I decided to go with the meaning. And I thought it was perfect since [name_f]Lily[/name_f] is actually a name. It’s not like her name means “gust of wind” or something like that lol
I thought it’d be too close because they will call her [name_f]Lily[/name_f] all the time. [name_f]Lillian[/name_f] is more of the formal version. Her name will practically be [name_f]Lily[/name_f] so there’s no point in me using the same name for a middle name.
Also, I CHOSE [name_f]Lily[/name_f] for the connection to [name_f]Susan[/name_f]. It’s cute, yes. But if it didn’t have that connection it wouldn’t ave been in the running for me.
I’d still use [name_f]Lily[/name_f]! Especially if it’s going in the middle spot. Talk to your brother and [name_m]SIL[/name_m] now to let them know you’ve had it picked out for ages for a special reason. You never know they may change their choice if they know you will use it no matter what! Failing that, what about [name_f]Suzy[/name_f]? She is so adorable and very underrated imo! She has the cute factor that [name_f]Lily[/name_f] has and also honours your grandmother in a much more personal and obvious way.
I’m sorry for your frustration! Navigating naming with family and friends can be rough, but they have the right to name their daughter whatever they want for whatever reason they choose. I think it’s worth having a talk with them and explaining the significance of the name. Maybe it will make them reconsider their options, or maybe it will just strengthen their attachment to [name_f]Lillian[/name_f]/[name_f]Lily[/name_f], but even in that worst case scenario you’ll be giving your niece a lovely gift by adding this significance to her name.
Since it is so meaningful, I think you should consider [name_f]Susan[/name_f] and all of her variations. I really like [name_f]Suzanne[/name_f], [name_f]Suzette[/name_f], and [name_f]Susannah[/name_f]. I also don’t think it’s too out there to consider [name_f]Lily[/name_f] as a middle name for your future daughter since it is so meaningful. Again, everyone gets to name their own kids… it wouldn’t be my first choice either, but they can’t actually stop you from using it.
Too bad I know for a fact that they would not change their name choosing. She is due in about a month… hahah
[name_f]Suzy[/name_f] is cute! Of course it’s all about if it would work with other name combinations. Although pretty sure my hubsy will dislike [name_f]Suzy[/name_f] as well.
Believe me, I have considered most variations. The problem is getting my husband to like any of them.
I would just use [name_f]Lily[/name_f], because it’s not like you’re using it as a first name and will have two Lilys. Another option is to use your Grandma’s middle name.
Have you thought of [name_f]Susannah[/name_f]?
Yeah I was just thinking I could use her middle name. I believe it was [name_f]Irene[/name_f]… but I’ll have to double check that. Although… since it’s so old fashioned I think I can pretty much guarantee my husband will hate it.
I have thought of [name_f]Susannah[/name_f]. [name_u]Love[/name_u] it! Hubsy does not.