Since I’ve seen a string of name-changing people in the news or writing articles, I decided I should come out if te dark and do the same.
My birth (and still current legal) name is [name_f]Alyssa[/name_f] [name_f]Nicole[/name_f], and this is my story (if you would like to continue to read on).
I’m not a transgender or anything like that, but every since I was a little girl, I never liked my name. It never felt like “me”. I never felt like an “[name_f]Alyssa[/name_f]” (nor “[name_f]Nicole[/name_f]” nor “[name_u]Nikki[/name_u]” nor “[name_f]Lyssa[/name_f]”). All throughout my childhood, I imagined changing my name, open-mindedly pondering anything from “[name_u]Jessie[/name_u]” and “[name_f]Crystal[/name_f]” to names other close family members admitted to loving like “[name_u]Sam[/name_u]”, “[name_f]Lola[/name_f]”, and “[name_u]Ruby[/name_u]”. To my dismay, nothing fit.
It wasn’t until I was in middle school, when I began to taking my passion of writing seriously, and was choosing a pen name, that my mother admitted that she had almost named me [name_u]Cassidy[/name_u] “[name_f]Cassie[/name_f]”, [name_u]Logan[/name_u], or [name_f]Zoey[/name_f], but also wishes that she’d actually chosen [name_f]Willow[/name_f]. I was ecstatic! I had immediately fallen head-over-heels for [name_f]Zoey[/name_f]! After years of secretly searching, I had finally found the perfect name for myself!
It was simple and sweet with a little bit of an edge, which are characteristics I associate with myself. And I loved it’s meaning, “Life”. It was short and recognizable without being overly popular and widely heard of. It was perfect for me! It matched my artsy and bohemian personality (and life-style) much more than that of “[name_f]Alyssa[/name_f]”. And upon entering high school, everyone began to call me “[name_f]Zoey[/name_f]” (Which i found the cuter, less-oneon version of the spelling “[name_f]Zoie[/name_f]” via NB). And as I matured further into the name, the further I finally felt like “me”, I questioned: what about my middle name?
After telling my family, especially my mother, of my discovery, I wasn’t surprised by their reactions. I’ve always been the “black sheep” of my family. My family, though I love them, are very closed-minded, judgmental people, and they were very against the idea, mercilessly mocking me about it with snide comments and judgments. I felt defeated and like an outcast…
And yet, my decision never faltered. My best friends and mentors always supported me, agreeing with me, which encouraged me on. However, my family’s disapproval did help me sort out my middle name(s): [name_f]Alyssa[/name_f] [name_f]Willow[/name_f].
(And seeing as how I have a very poor relationship with my father, I had always planned to change my last name from his to my mother’s maiden name.)
And that’s my story thus far. I’m constantly worried that friends or teachers or coworkers are going to absently call me “[name_f]Zoie[/name_f]” in front of my family and start a heated argument, but other than that I have no worries or refers about my name. (I always explain to them the story of the different names, which the mass majority don’t question.)
After I graduate high school next year I plan to lefally set out and change my name.
Thank you to Nameberry for helping me discover my self, whether it was my passion for names or my true name-identity! And thank you, the reader, so very much for reading!! It means a lot to me!!
- [name_f]Zoie[/name_f]