[name_m]Long[/name_m] time lurker, first time poster! While I intended on staying that way, I’ve come up with a dilemma that I would like a little advice on
So, we’ve been TTC recently, and my partner and I have been discussing baby names. For a girl, he brought up [name_f]Juno[/name_f], and we both fell in love with it. It’s perfect. [name_f]Juno[/name_f] goes well with his last name, has a nod to my heritage and honours an old friend of his who passed away a while ago. But there’s one problem… my childhood best friend (who I’m still close with) called dibs on this name when we were in high school. She still loves the name (it’s second on her list), and isn’t looking at having kids anytime soon.
I’m not sure what to do. Any advice? Can someone ‘dibs’ a name?
If she isn’t looking to have kids anytime soon, and it is second on her list, I don’t think it would be that much of a problem, but I would still ask her. If she loves the name enough, she will use it anyway. If it does mean a lot to her, definitely ask her, if it would be okay, just so she doesn’t feel like she has been snubbed and disregarded. It will be nice to involve her in the naming process too. If she says no, maybe [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] could fill your requirements?? I love [name_f]Juno[/name_f] too.
[name_f]Hope[/name_f] that has been of some help. Good luck :).
I think it’s possible to call dibs on a name.
[name_f]My[/name_f] sister loves [name_m]Casimir[/name_m], and so do I, so I’m trying to avoid it. I know she’s found a sort of conservative boyfriend though so it might never happen for her. Either way, she’s probably closer to having children than me at this point.
I think you should ask your friend, have a conversation about it. If she’s interested in names, you can talk about your other choices as well. I know that If one of my close friends was having a baby before me and wanted to use a name I really like, I would most likely say a bittersweet farewell and be happy about my friend’s excellent taste in names. This might not be the case for you and your friend, but I really think the best thing is to talk about it. That way there are no surprises, and surprises are more likely to hurt people than honest conversation well in advance is.
Thank you! Advice is very appreciated! I’ll have to talk to her soon; DH is rather attached to the name, but I don’t really want to alienate my friend, either. Maybe a compromise
[name_u]Juniper[/name_u] is very cute! [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t like it as much as [name_f]Juno[/name_f], but it could still get [name_f]Juno[/name_f] as a nickname too, I suppose. Perhaps it might even grow on us
I agree with the posters above me, however I don’t think you can claim a name exclusively for yourself. That said, I would take in consideration when choosing a name. If a good friend or sister had “claimed” a name, I would tell them I was considering to use it, to see how they would react. [name_f]Juno[/name_f] is a wonderful name by the way!
I’d just discuss it with her. You may find that she loves it, but would rather see it on such a dear friend’s child than actually on her child. Tastes change so much over time as well, and she may not love it as much as she used to.
We’ve never officially called “dibs” in my family. But my sister and brother (the only people who know our names) have always known which few names I love and are planning on using, and they have never even mentioned them when they talk about names. It may be different when they are also married and TTC, but I think there is a general respect and understanding there, and I’d be very upset if one of them used a name that they knew I loved without discussing it first.
I don’t think that anyone can really call “dibs” on a name, but I think that we as friends or family can respect others’ favorites! I would definitely talk to your friend and explain how much you and your husband love the name and that it honors someone special. If she isn’t close to having children, I would hope she would be reasonable enough to consider giving her beloved name up! Also, @sunkissedchild is right. Tastes change over the years and she may not love it as much as she did. It’s worth addressing!
[name_f]My[/name_f] friend and I did something similar to that in eighth grade. We both liked the names [name_u]Oakley[/name_u] and [name_u]Avery[/name_u] for girls and made an agreement that she got [name_u]Oakley[/name_u] and I got [name_u]Avery[/name_u]. She doesn’t like [name_u]Oakley[/name_u] as much anymore (and I don’t either) and [name_u]Avery[/name_u] is way too popular at the moment so it looks like that agreement was not necessary. I think you should talk to your friend and make sure it’s okay. I know if a friend of mine stole my favorite name without asking me about it first, I would be pissed!
[name_u]Juniper[/name_u] nn [name_f]Juno[/name_f] is a great idea and a compromise if your friend has a problem with you using [name_f]Juno[/name_f]. GL!
I think you should take it and she can use it as a middle name for her girl. I kinda don’t believe in calling dibs though. A name is a name and whoever uses it first gets it. About a month before I was born my mom told a co-worker about naming me [name_f]Brianna[/name_f] (1995 kid here) and her co-worker stole it and my mom was really mad about that. But what could she really do, ya know?
[name_f]Djuna[/name_f] (JU-na) is an option, but if you love [name_f]Juno[/name_f], you should use it. It’s nice to talk to your friend first, but either way, it’s your call. Who’s to say she’ll even have a female child?
I think you’ve gotten a lot of good advice up to this point. On the one hand, as a [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f], the idea of “dibs” on a name just makes me laugh. I mean, that’s how you end up with popular names - a lot of people like the same name. On the other hand, it sounds like you and your friend are close enough and have talked in detail about this - that you know she (a) has a list and (b) the second name on it. So in deference to that friendship, you’re best bet is probably to bring it up…hope it goes well if you do!!!
Also, you could consider “[name_u]Juniper[/name_u]” and then nickname her [name_f]Juno[/name_f].
I think you can call dibs on a name, BUT depends on the situation and names aren’t for keeps.
I would tell her that if you and your partner get pregnant you have decided to use [name_f]Juno[/name_f] b/c it has emotional meaning, not just a favorite on a list. You have an emotional, family attachment, it’s just #2 on her list.
If it was a name that represented her family or something, it may be different but it doesn’t sound like it.
I agree with a lot of the advice here. I understand when you have a close friend, you don’t want to step on their toes or “steal” a name, but [name_f]Juno[/name_f] is not just a name you like (as someone else mentioned), it has special meaning to you. On top of that, I believe you said she’s not really planning on having kids anytime soon. AND it’s second on her list. I had a ton of favorite names that I was sure I would use but when my husband and I were actually deliberating on a name, I quickly realized that he was not for most of those names. So, does she even have a significant other? Would that significant other even be willing to use [name_f]Juno[/name_f]? On top of that, who knows how many children or what gender she will end up having? She may not even get the opportunity to use [name_f]Juno[/name_f] anyway with it being her second favorite girl name, and that’s again, assuming her significant other is game with using any of her current favorites.
To me, I think it’s silly when you really stop and think about it rationally. Again, I totally understand your concern and you’re a great friend for that. But, you’re the one who is actually pregnant. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t throw out a name on the mere chance that your friend could possibly, at some point, want to consider [name_f]Juno[/name_f] for herself. I think talking to her, as others have already said, is the best way to address the situation just to show her that her feelings were thought of and considered. That’s honestly probably all she’ll need to give you her blessing.
I don’t think you can really call dibs on a name since no one owns it but I would talk to her first and see what she says. [name_f]Juno[/name_f] is a cute name and if it has such a special meaning for you then you should use it. She might change her mind about wanting her daughter being named [name_f]Juno[/name_f] or she might not even have a daughter in the future but if she does have a daughter and she still wants to use it for her daughter as a first name she should be able to even if you have used it. There’s nothing wrong with you both using the same name.
[name_m]How[/name_m] often are you in contact with your friend? On a daily basis? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you live near each other? [name_m]Will[/name_m] your daughter see your friend’s daughter often?
I don’t think it’s a big deal at all to share the same name with her. [name_m]Just[/name_m] talk with her about it first, since clearly it’s enough of an emotional thing for her that you feel the need to tip-toe around this issue to begin with.
In a win-win scenario, you’ll each have a little [name_f]Juno[/name_f], and it will be a fun connection that the girls will have when they get older and talk about their special friend [name_f]Juno[/name_f], whose mom and her mom were childhood friends and still close
I would say that a person can’t call dibs on a name. Because it honors your husband’s friend, I would say that you have more of a right to use it, anyway, if such a thing exists. In the interest of your friendship, I would talk to your friend, though, and let her know your plans. Personally, if one of my friends were to use a name I like, I would be fine as long as they have a reason, and you have more than enough reasons!
