My example will be my own current question, but it really applies to tons of names. [name]Feel[/name] free to give insight about any name!
When I have a daughter I will name her [name]Elizabeth[/name]. I want to call her [name]Betsey[/name], and when she’s young, I want everyone else to call her [name]Betsey[/name] as well. I understand that with a nickname like that, she may want to change it as she gets older, which is fine with me. [name]Beth[/name] would be the obvious grown up version of [name]Betsey[/name], and I love [name]Beth[/name]. But it sounds awful with our last name. I love [name]Eliza[/name]… I mean really love it! I would love for her to get to be [name]Eliza[/name] as her grown up nickname. But will that be too difficult a transition to make? I can imagine knowing someone as [name]Betsey[/name] and then starting to call them [name]Eliza[/name]… So I’m wondering if I should keep [name]Betsey[/name] as her family and close friends name, and have her go by [name]Eliza[/name] in school and stuff like that. That makes sense, but I really do want her to go by [name]Betsey[/name] all the time. But then on the other hand I really do [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Eliza[/name]! What would you do?
Lol [name]Betsey[/name] and [name]Eliza[/name] are kind fo a world apart so I think I would find it odd to suddenly change from one to another. The thing is, these things are normally a natural progression like a [name]Katie[/name] becoming [name]Kate[/name] but to change from [name]Betsey[/name] to [name]Eliza[/name] would feel kind of forced to me, like you’d pick a day and from then on her name would change?
[name]Betsey[/name] to [name]Beth[/name] would work and I love [name]Beth[/name] too but you said it doesn’t work with your last name so that’s out.
I think your best bet would be to have both nn’s used from a young age so that she could choose which one to continue with when she got older. I know my cousin [name]Francesca[/name] has always been Cesc within the family but some people now call her [name]Franny[/name] or [name]Fran[/name] as an adult. She’s not keen on it though, it’s almost like people trying to change her name! On the other hand I have an uncle [name]Kenneth[/name] who has always gone by both [name]Ken[/name] and [name]Kenny[/name], an aunty [name]Suzanne[/name] who’s always gone by [name]Suzy[/name] and [name]Sue[/name], and both are still used now. I know it’s not quite the same because both nn’s are similar as apposed to [name]Betsey[/name] and [name]Eliza[/name] but I’m sure it could work! I’m trying to think of an example of someone I know who has two very different nn’s. Hmmmmmm.
Ooo I know a [name]Kayleigh[/name] that goes by [name]Kal[/name] and [name]Leigh[/name]? [name]Both[/name] nn’s have always been used so I guess it’s similar. And a [name]Naomi[/name] [name]Gwen[/name] who goes by Nai, [name]Naomi[/name], [name]Gwen[/name] and [name]Gwenny[/name] and always has. I think as you get older though one usually takes over as the favourite so by always using too you’d give your little [name]Betsey[/name]/[name]Eliza[/name] that option!
Dang it! I was about to say maybe she could go from [name]Betsey[/name] to [name]Bess[/name], but that works just as bad with my last name! Shoot!
You are so right that [name]Betsey[/name] and [name]Eliza[/name] are worlds apart! I think that’s the trouble, really. [name]Every[/name] single thing about them is different, and so I’m so drawn to both for different reasons! [name]Both[/name] of them are special to me for different reasons, and I really want her to have both! I think it’s a good idea to just use both from the start. Except the fact that I only want to call her [name]Betsey[/name] and so does my husband… Actually, I think I would call her [name]Betsey[/name]-[name]Liza[/name] (or [name]Bets[/name]-[name]Eliza[/name]… Pronounced the same way, I say [name]Eliza[/name]-[name]Betsey[/name], too, but it doesn’t flow as well) quite often because i already do say that in my head, and then I could get her used to both.
Haha, this issue is so not something I need to worry about yet! But I don’t want her to get stuck being [name]Beth[/name] [name]Becker[/name] or something like that so I want to have a game plan in place!
My oldest is only seven so I am guessing here. But I am thinking that you probably won’t have a LOT of say on what she gets called later on. [name]Betsy[/name] will suit her for years and years (and I think the most obvious maturing of [name]Betsy[/name] may well be [name]Bet[/name]). But she might get called all sorts of things - [name]Lilibet[/name], [name]Lizzie[/name], [name]Liz[/name], [name]Eliza[/name], Schmoo (you never know what can happen), or [name]Betsy[/name] might suit her for life. [name]Elizabeth[/name] is a great name because it offers so many interesting and pretty possibilities, some exotic, some more ordinary.
I am [name]Penelope[/name] and was always [name]Penny[/name] as a little girl and then [name]Pen[/name] or [name]Penni[/name] as I got older (I changed the spelling when I was 10 - well, it was the eighties!), but as a young adult I started being called Nellup (as in pe-NELLUP-ee) by a boyfriend which stuck and for a long time was my online identity too. Some friends and my husband (different bloke!) still call me [name]Nell[/name]. I called myself [name]Eppie[/name] when I was a little little girl and couldn’t pronounce my name, and my mother loved it and wanted to keep calling me that (there is an [name]Eppie[/name] in [name]Silas[/name] Marner), but at some point, still little, probably around 4, I refused to answer to it.
I love [name]Betsey[/name]! I have a very close friend whose name is [name]Elizabeth[/name] and she’s gone by [name]Betsy[/name] her whole life (she’s now 28). I think it “ages” very well, so I’m not sure you would have to worry about using another nickname. “My” [name]Betsy[/name] is a exceedingly intelligent and professional woman, who’s currently living in NYC and working as a sous pastry chef with [name]Ron[/name] [name]Ben[/name] [name]Israel[/name] (the famous wedding cake designer). I think it’s the person who determines how a name is associated, and not necessarily the other way around.
As for having 2 nicknames, I don’t know if that’s possible without confusing the child. School is hard enough for a 5/6 year old to get adjusted to, so I don’t know if throwing a new name into the mix would be wise. Kids hang onto the familiar when they’re in new situations, and I think having her name be different would not help any misgivings she may have towards going to school. [name]Betsey[/name] is a great nickname, and while I think you can definitely direct that as her nickname, I wouldn’t go so far as to have 2 for her. Stick with [name]Betsey[/name]!
Another chime-in that [name]Betsy[/name] is perfectly fine for an older woman. I know a couple of [name]Betsy[/name]'s -early 30’s- and the name is very nice on them, if anything it is rather distinctive and unusual.
I also agree that you probably won’t have a lot to say about what her “new” nickname will be, should she decide to evolve it. I think she will probably come home and say “Mom, stop calling me [name]Betsy[/name]. My name is _____ now.” And whatever name you like will be off the list for sure!
I also know someone who has gone by [name]Betsey[/name] her whole life, and I never thought of it as a childish nickname. If this is your favorite I wouldn’t rule it out for that reason. It also seems to me that many times when someone has 2 nicknames, they hate one of them! I think the kid usually ends up picking their favorite and wants to be called only that. I have a nephew [name]John[/name] that is 3 and wanting to only be called [name]Johnny[/name]. He thinks it’s a grown up name because it’s longer
I have a cousin, also named [name]Elizabeth[/name], who’s primarily gone by [name]Libby[/name]. However, she’s just graduated from college and is attending med school, and she’s been introducing herself as [name]Liz[/name]. No one in our family is having trouble with this transition because she’s always responded to every nickname for [name]Elizabeth[/name] under the sun. For example, our grandpa calls her [name]Beth[/name], her mother calls her [name]Eliza[/name], and her younger siblings call her [name]Ellie[/name]. If you introduce [name]Eliza[/name] as a nickname early on, no one will have any problem making the transition, but if you pull it out of nowhere and demand that people start to call your daughter [name]Eliza[/name], then you’ll have issues.
Of course, you could always do the unthinkable and let your daughter choose her own nickname
Hmmm, I think that this would be very confusing. I got confused reading your post, lol, but that may just be me. I think you can deffinatly influence a nickname, but i dont think that you can influence the nickname of a teenager. And i think it would be sort of weird to go from calling your friend one name to all of a sudden calling her another when you have known her as the first name your entire freindship. This is one of the reason i dont think i could ever change my name, (like some adults do), I mean its always diffrent when you go to introduce yourself to someone, because you have never met them. But how do your family react to it, and how do they go from one to another? I think it would be odd to do it at all, however i know many people who go by one name at home, that is more cutesy and another name at school/work that sounds more professional. But the biggest problem would be trying to tell a teenager to go by [name]Eliza[/name]. She may not like it, she may like [name]Liz[/name] or [name]Lizzy[/name] or [name]Ell[/name] or [name]Ellie[/name]. So i wouldnt get your hope up for her to go by [name]Eliza[/name], though it is possible! But thats just my opinon
I love the nn [name]Betsey[/name]…I think it suits a girl or woman of any age! [name]Betsey[/name] [name]Becker[/name] is so cute. The beauty of the name [name]Elizabeth[/name] is that it has so many nn options (obviously) that even though [name]Betsey[/name] may be very different from [name]Eliza[/name], I don’t think it really matters because they’re both accepted nns for [name]Elizabeth[/name]. And your [name]Betsey[/name] may, as people have said, just want to be [name]Elizabeth[/name] when she’s older! I personally love it when people go by just [name]Elizabeth[/name].
Honestly, I think it’ll just sort of work itself out, so don’t stress about it before she’s even born. It’s a lovely name and [name]Betsey[/name] is such a cute nn to encourage.
As a personal example, my oldest daughter goes by [name]Mia[/name] at home and with her friends, but her kindergarten and first grade teachers called her [name]Camille[/name], and we plan on calling her [name]Camille[/name] when she attends her new school for second grade. [name]Mia[/name] isn’t even an intuitive nickname for [name]Camille[/name] (it’s a long story) but she’s never had a problem switching between the two.
I actually have a friend named [name]Elizabeth[/name] who went by [name]Betsy[/name] when she was younger. Her mom still loves to call her [name]Betsy[/name] but she kinda grew out of it by the time she was 12. Then she went through a ton of nicknames. She started with Lizard and then Elizara and then [name]Lizzie[/name] and even Eth. That last one didn’t catch on very well. Now she just goes by [name]Elizabeth[/name] in full and it suits her just fine. Thats the great thing about this name. No matter what you start out with, you can make it your own.
I think you can call her what you want when she’s really young, but by the time she’s in school she’s old enough to choose herself. It is her name, after all. I think you should be allowed to call her whatever you want, but once she’s old enough to have an opinion, I think you should respect that. That’s one of the greatest things about names like [name]Elizabeth[/name]- they offer so many nickname options that the bearer can essentially choose their own name. So maybe you call her [name]Betsey[/name] until she’s twelve- and then she decides she would rather go by, say, [name]Ellie[/name] and doesn’t like [name]Eliza[/name] or [name]Betsey[/name]. I think she should be allowed to do that.
I have an 11 year old cousin named [name]Elizabeth[/name]. She goes by [name]Beth[/name] for short and always has. But our grandmother has always called her [name]Lizzie[/name], and it has never been confusing or caused any problems. Maybe it’s b/c it’s only one person calling her a different name? Either way, I think [name]Betsey[/name] and [name]Eliza[/name] are both adorable, especially [name]Eliza[/name]!
Haha, you are probably right! Luckily, I love [name]Elizabeth[/name] as is! And I love almost all the nicknames… Though I do hope she won’t want to be [name]Liz[/name], it’s so my generationm and [name]Lizzy[/name] sounds way too much like [name]Lyndsay[/name].
I’m glad to hear of Betsys that kept [name]Betsy[/name] as they got older! I have met two, and to be honest, the prospect of an adult [name]Betsey[/name] is part of what I love about it! When i met the one [name]Betsy[/name] and she introduced herself, I was seriously blown over! She was so pretty and stylish and cool and I was expecting a more common name, but when she said [name]Betsy[/name], man, it was exciting! So, that really is what I hope for more than [name]Eliza[/name]. I do [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Eliza[/name], but I think there are enough of them out there already.
I think every single one of you is right, which is difficult because there were a lot of varying opinions! I realize I can’t force a nickname on her once she reaches a certain age, and I would never say to a 12 year old “ok, you’re going to go by [name]Eliza[/name] now!”. I know different people will nickname her different things and I’m totally cool with that. But she will end up with one that is her main name, and I do think that whatever I call her from birth is what that is likely to be (my mom was called [name]Kitty[/name] from birth, and even though she always thought it was weird, it never occurred to her that she could change it!). So, yeah. I think I’ll just drop [name]Eliza[/name] and make everyone call her [name]Betsey[/name] while I have control over it. If she wants to change it when she gets older, so be it!
Thank you all for the input, you all made me think about it from so many different perspectives!
